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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 02:41 AM
:sl:


i dont know where to begin............i had a strong feeling laylatul qadr woud be on the 27th........ Allah knows best.


Its my sister.........my sister isnt the most practising person....i will not list her bad qualities, because neither do i wish to expose her bad deeds nor do i want to make my self look good in comparasion, for we are all sinful in one way or another......

i have been awake since half 12 ish.........i set my alarm on for half 2, so that i could get up 2 do sum ibaadah.......however i was abruptly awoken earlier.

I heard my sister say, wake up, somethings happening to me...so i sat up in my bed and i could her breathing hard like she was crying, so i immediately became worried and said what wrong and she replied it feels as if there something pressing down on me.........thats when i became a bit fearful because this has happend before to i think all my family members excpet for me and my father ...Allah knows best....its not cuz were good and their bad May Allah have mercy on us all.

anway....i could hear her sobbing so i told her put on the light and come to be , which she did ...now that the light was on and she came and i put my arm around her, i realised there were tears on her face, and she started talking all at once saying..."i could feel something pressing down on me and i couldnt breathe, and i couldnt move my body and i heard screaming in my ears, and my eyes were closed and i saw dogs, the barking of dogs and screaming....and she had the sensation that her upper torso was being pressed down upon whilst something in her mind was telling her to open her mouth..and she had the sensation that her mouth was being forced open...but she kept her mouth shut.....at first she said she thought it ws a dream, but when she realised this was happening while she was fully awake, she became terrified and tried to read the Shahdah..she couldnt, it just wouldnt come out, so then she tried to read ayatul kursi and as soon as she did and begged for Allahs help in her mind...it started to get better but before it all went away she said her eyes were closed but she could still see the room and in the corner of the room was a light that was dimming until it disappeared and she opened her eyes.


i share a room with my two sisters.....i didnt want her to disturb my parents, so i told my younger sister to sleep with her, read whatever surah she knew and i shut the light off.....but my body was rigid and i felt a sort of restlessness along with a mild terror, so i told them to switch the light back on and said that i was going to go downstairs and do my wudu, which i did, but while i was doing my wudu, i couldnt stop my tears.....i was so scared, but not for myself, but for my sister........because, she never prays, and laughs and turns away if i try giving talking to her about Islam.......only before we were going to go to taraweeh did i say say to her , it might be laylatul qadr, and she ignored me......


so after i prayed some nafl and read some quran..i sat down and gave her a lengthy talk,...about why this may be happening and that she has to chnage her ways.........i told her i am more concerned about you than you are about yourself!!! ....i talked...and she said she wanted to sleep!...so i became emotional and did some more explainig...and then when i thought something might be clicking in her head, i got her to come down, do wudu and read some nafl and some quran......she just gone to bed now.....but i cant sleep...



right now i feel........upset, distressed, shaken and fearful.
i am fearful for myself....as all humans should be....and fearful for her, she is such a wonderful person i cant bear to see her in distress and all i think is what if Allah decides to punish her severely......i dont think i could eve bear to see her in any pain or distress...i love her too much :cry:


i want her to change.....but when i talk to her its like talking to a brick wall...wallahi...i dont know what to do ...ive prayed for her, taunted her, shouted at her, tried to explain calmly, tried to bribe her!!

Nothing works.Nothing.

and what just happpend now has renewed my stress for her, becuase i fear she might not recieve hidaayah in time and for myself, because it has been i wake up call for me...what if Allah isnt too pleased with me either....


im just writing this to get my feelings out, theres no one to say it to because there all asleep and i cant go to sleep.
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Malaikah
09-28-2008, 03:07 AM
:sl:

No need to panic, what happened to her is called sleep paralysis. It happens to a lot of people.

Basically, you can't move because you're mind wakes up before your body does and you have hallucinations.

Personally I find sleeping on my back makes it happen more often. It either happens when a person is falling a sleep, or when a person is waking up (more common).

You can read more about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
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roohani.doctor
09-28-2008, 03:12 AM
sister i dont know wut to say, you have been thru much and maybe this is Allah's way of showing you to be steadfast in your iman...you have done all you can for your sister but until Allah shows her haddaya no one can, the best we can do is pray....

my mom has been thru wut your sister did, once she saw a fat boy come to her and stand on her chest, so she coudlnt breathe, her brother was in the room reading, but when she asked him later, he said he saw nothing. She thought she was sleeping but she wasnt, and she said he kept on pressing so that she coudlnt breathe, couldnt speak, she finally held out her shahada finger and thats when he went away... there has also been other times...but the thought of anything like that happening to me terrifies me.... i dunno why it happens to some, masha'allah my mom is very religious but this still happened...

tell your sis to read ayat-al-kursi every night before sleeping... you cannot give her hiddaya no matter wut you do, only Allah can so turn to Him and beg him in the dark hours of night... i can relate to her about not praying, for me i always wanted to pray on a regular basis, but shaitan can be so much stronger, i always used to skip astaghfirallah, but reading quran and reading stories like yours, it just hit me hard and alhumdullillah i'm praying now humdullillah... may allah also guide your sister.... ameen

insha'allah i'll pray for you and your sister....May Allah bless you and your family...Ameen

hope you feel better... :)
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noorseeker
09-28-2008, 03:14 AM
Assalamalikum sister, Just make dua for her inshallah, thats all you can do, you cant change someone, now she had this experience , it might make her think about death, thats when people think about Allah swt, and slwly change.

By no means stop giving her dawah, take her to some fundraising events with you, volunteer with her, show her how muslims have to help people in need,it might make her think more about deen, im sure she is a caring person any way.

Take her to a talk if you can.


The experience i had tonight , i dont know if it was a dream, but it seemed real, because i was lyng down and could see my self in bed.

My body just froze, i could not move , my right eye lid was half open, so i knew i was n bed, i tried opening my eyes , and moving my body. but i couldnt, i used all my strength

And near my left hand side , i could hear a scary moaning , something was there ,

If only i could open my left eye , i wouldve seen it, i got a bit scared , but all i wanted to do walahi was to get up and punch whatever was there.

My body hasnt frozen for a couple of years now, when i was in paralyzed mode tonight , i kept saying subhanallah,, subhanallah
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noorseeker
09-28-2008, 03:20 AM
Originally Posted by Malaikah
:sl:

No need to panic, what happened to her is called sleep paralysis. It happens to a lot of people.

Basically, you can't move because you're mind wakes up before your body does and you have hallucinations.

Personally I find sleeping on my back makes it happen more often. It either happens when a person is falling a sleep, or when a person is waking up (more common).

You can read more about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

Good article sister, thanks, it makes sense , it aint happened to me in years
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Katydid
09-28-2008, 03:58 AM
Hi,

I am very, very new here - in fact in the last hour. I read your post. I used to have occurrences just as you mentioned about your sister. Not to worry; it would usually happen when I was overly tired. Sometimes, I would feel like someone was holding me down and I could not move. Sometimes, if I woke up enough I would move to a new location in the house and sleep there such as the sofa or a spare room. That would usually solve the problem. I don't mean to minimalize this. It can be scary but it's not an uncommon thing.

Here's to a good night's sleep!

Katydid
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Katydid
09-28-2008, 04:04 AM
Malaikah,

I agree that these strange things happen more when one begins to fall asleep while lying on one's back. Why?? I'll read the link that you provided. Thank you!

Katydid
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جوري
09-28-2008, 04:21 AM
this is indeed fascinating and a lengthy topic --- Do read the full article enclosed on the bottom to understand both hypnagogic and hypnopompic phenomenon ...
Psychiatry for me personally, has always been the branch of science that tries to offer quasi scientific answers to very unusual, un-scientific phenomenon that occur to many without God forbid yielding to religious wisdom although the lines between the two were very obscure at times...

philosopher and mathematician Descartes thought the pineal gland be the seat of the soul.. no we know it to be responsible for sleep wake cycles seasonal affective disorder amongst other things.. so naturally everyone can hypothesize on sleep paralysis, night terrors (which happen to children only) sleep walking etc etc with the preferred accepted references or brain structures..

fact is we don't really know what is causing most of these.. so indeed behind the conjectures and refutations of very modern science, could there potentially be something deeper.. perhaps more sinister.. I have experienced those personally amongst other things.. it doesn't really matter how much of science I know.. somethings really should be classified under the x-files... they happen.. there is no specific timing and you are not quite sure why they happen.. if someone has ever experienced this advent to their death and something actually became of it, that for very obvious reasons, they couldn't come back to tell the rest of us of it.. and those few who narrowly escape every time don't fully succumb to it, to actually know what the end outcome is....

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope indeed that it is the driving impetus for your sister to change some habits.. although, I wouldn't push.. all things good come with time especially the acquisition of wisdom.. I suppose that is why all old folks say youth is wasted on the young lol... by the time you actually get it.. you can't do what you'd like with it...

Anyhow ukhty, I'd just be patient with her.. and would look out for frequent episodes of the same nature..

The term ‘hypnagogic’ was coined by the 19th-century French psychologist LF Alfred Maury, and is derived from two Greek words, Hypnos (sleep) and agogeus (guide, or leader). Some years after Maury, the psychical researcher FWH Myers coined a complimentary term, ‘hypnopompic’, to cover similar phenomena occurring as we wake from sleep. Some researchers are keen to split hairs, but in general there seems little difference between the material produced in either state, the main difference being which point of the sleep cycle investigators have chosen to observe.
http://www.forteantimes.com/features...ypnagogia.html
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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 02:09 PM
:sl:

JazakAllah Khair everybody for your replies and advice, the scientific explanation has pacified me partially, for i believe more in religion than science

this explains it;

Symptoms of sleep paralysis can be either one of the following or a combination:

* Paralysis: this occurs after waking up or shortly before falling asleep. The person cannot move any body part, cannot speak, and only has minimal control over blinking and breathing. This paralysis is the same paralysis that occurs when dreaming. The brain paralyzes the muscles to prevent possible injury during dreams, as some body parts may move during dreaming. If the person wakes up suddenly, the brain may still think that it is dreaming, and sustains the paralysis.

* Hallucinations: Images or speaking that appear during the paralysis. The person may think that someone is standing beside them or they may hear strange sounds. These may be dreamlike, possibly causing the person to think that they are still dreaming. Often it is reported as feeling a weight on one's chest, as if being underneath a person or heavy object.

she said she saw dogs and screaming and a light...

These symptoms can last from mere seconds to several minutes (although they can feel like much longer) and can be frightening to the person. There may be some body movement, but it is very unlikely and hard for a person to accomplish.

she told me it lasted about 10 mins! before she could move...


but i wont be letting her know all this soon, otherwse all my efforts of tonight would have been for nothing....ill let her believe for the mean time that it was something supernatural, not to be mean, just so that she has time to reflect.


But i know it isnt going to last, its been ages since this last happend to her, and it takes her mere hours, to overlook it and go back to her old ways.

i know only Allah can give guidance, but i want that guidance to come before any punishment and i know this may not be possible the way shes going.:cry:
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chacha_jalebi
09-28-2008, 05:22 PM
subhanallah sister i know how ya feel with the non practisin members,

Allah hu alim what happened,

but ways to actually get through to them, is just play quran translations infront of them, like surahs which describe what will happen, like pick out certain parts of the surah and then jus play them loud, and make sure they hear, then talk to them bout it like say gosh thats lethal man, jus makes me wana offer 2 rakahs nafl, wana join :D .....

and if they are interested in science then bingo, like talk to them on a science level, ask them questions and say is it tru that sweet and salt rivers dont mix.... then bingo say omg the quran says that, aswell :D is it true that the baby is made in the womb... omg the quran was sayin that ages ago, when science dint even exist! like play it smooth and innocent, and best thin you can do is pray for them, because only if Allah (swt) wills they will be guided
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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 06:51 PM
i really try with her, its the friends she makes!!!!.....there lovely girls.....only just this friday we had a big iftaari bash and invited them all down, i really like them, but i for one make it clear that i will not be emulating them like my sister.

and when i speak to her, all the scientific things interest her and i have found if i put a transaltion quran into her hand she really enjoys reading it, and seems very absorbed so i will try using that more often for her.

Sometimes she shows a mild interest and sometimes she just laughs out right at me, so shes never consistent, and i dont know how to deal with that, especially when she doesnt take me seriously, it makes me feel im wasting my time and i should just leave her to rot....but then that sisterly love kicks in and i keep going back to her...

In shall try your methods brother Chacha,they sound good and lets hope they have an effect on her InshaAllah...plz pray for her and for me!!, JazakAllah Khair!
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-28-2008, 06:57 PM
bad influences should be dealt with !!!!!!!!

not allowed to further eat !!!

imagine you found a serious bacteria eating away at your heart, you aint gonna let it continue, you'D FIGHT IT!


if i was you, i'd get parents involved n keep her influence on a minimum


if she was my daughter i would move just to get her a better atmosphere

if she was my sister, i'd probably do things IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS to show how pathetic and lame it is to NOT be islamic (i dont kno exactly what i'd do, i'd freestyle it)
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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 07:02 PM
free style ?

akhee, you just have NO IDEA how hard it is!!!

one time i was just reading out the punishments for not praying to my younger sis, whos 12 and MashaAllah, takes great interest in Islam, and my sister walked in to the room and becuase she never prays, i tried to read them to her and she sed....oh dont throw that in my face! and became angry and turned away......she really does exasparate me sometimes!!!

as for her friends, she has been asked by my mum to keep away from some of them, but she doesnt.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-28-2008, 07:07 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
one time i was just reading out the punishments for not praying to my younger sis, whos 12 and MashaAllah, takes great interest in Islam, and my sister walked in to the room and becuase she never prays, i tried to read them to her and she sed....oh dont throw that in my face! and became angry and turned away......she really does exasparate me sometimes!!!
you take simple approaches like my sister... try being more unpredictable in your approaches

for example when she walked in you shoulda analysed her n stuff, cheked out her mood (sp?) , i probably wudda started off by chattin bout news or somethin

for real throwin dawah in faces 24/7 never works, kindness to soften the hearts and then pouring in the dawah works better


when she said "dont throw it in my face" think bout it, imagine having somethiing thrown in your face, you know theres a beautiful saying, if you gave someone a meaningless piece of litter in the most beautiful way they'd take it, if they threw a hundred pounds in their face they would be reluctant... get me?



personally i'd try use her love for me to soften things and then gently ease the dawah in.

and persoonally,... PERSONALLY HERE>.. if she was MY younger sis and she gave me that attitude, she wud be running away from me....
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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 07:13 PM
i understand what your saying akhee...i must change my approach InshaAllah!


Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
and persoonally,... PERSONALLY HERE>.. if she was MY younger sis and she gave me that attitude, she wud be running away from me....
she is 3 and half yrs younger than me:),....but i have learnt to deal with her personality by overlooking her bad side, its safer that way..:skeleton:
akhee stong is not the one who over comes one with strength, but one who is calm when provoked and in anger :)
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-28-2008, 07:19 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
i understand what your saying akhee...i must change my approach InshaAllah!
different things work for different people :bump:




she is 3 and half yrs younger than me:),....but i have learnt to deal with her personality by overlooking her bad side, its safer that way..:skeleton:
akhee stong is not the one who over comes one with strength, but one who is calm when provoked and in anger :)
well STOP THAT ! do NOT overlook her bad side!!! everytime even a SLIGHT HINT of anything bad is seen by me or any one of my brothers for that matter in any of my nieces/cousins WE TACKLE IT STRAIGHT wivout letting it grow ! infact ive had cousins even uncles n aunties say that the youngers act better around us out of even respect. remember umar radhiallahu anhu AND THAT STICK! the kids use to fear him! they use to love him too NOT COZ HE WAS ANGRY but coz he had that aura. if you had that aura, she probably wudda watched herself around you more and thus her heart wudda improved and she mighta even become a better person


i REALLY think u shud stop taking it...


please dont feel like you have to take my suggestions, i could be hugely wrong, EVERYONE is different, the strict ways worked for my family Alhamdulillaah, its still working even to the next generation..
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Sahabiyaat
09-28-2008, 08:21 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
well STOP THAT ! do NOT overlook her bad side!!! everytime even a SLIGHT HINT of anything bad is seen by me or any one of my brothers for that matter in any of my nieces/cousins WE TACKLE IT STRAIGHT wivout letting it grow ! infact ive had cousins even uncles n aunties say that the youngers act better around us out of even respect.
lol that is great akhee, i think we need one of you in our family to put ppl into line and carry umar (ra) stick!! :giggling:

but in all seriousness, im trying to improve my own character and dont want to come accross as harsh, so im going to be gentle and just hope for the best! your sterness makes things happen, with my lot it just makes them more defiant! :rollseyes

i REALLY think u shud stop taking it...
lol akhee, i hope im not making out like i let her walk all over me, i have a degree of authority over her, but im also aquainted with her moods, and i just leave her be when that happens.

Please make Dua :)

JazakAllah.
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AmarFaisal
09-28-2008, 08:39 PM
Yes , it has happened to me too, mayb, twice or thrice in my life till now. It scares me to death but I guess I am satisfied with the medical explanation of it.

But whts more imp. is ur sister's attitude towards Islam.

I have my husband, who is not a good follower of Islam in terms of salah and honesty. But he has a kind heart. I preach him to change his ways n follow Islam so his good heart n good ways can be benificial for him.

he tells me much like ur sis, "leave me alone"

Wel,, it won't stop me from asking him to pray, I 'l keep doing that till my last breath. And Allah knows the best. May Allah have mercy on all of us and may Allah grant us maghfirah..ameen!
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Sahabiyaat
09-29-2008, 01:00 PM
Ameen!


well after reading the article which says it can happens atleast twice to everybody...i cant go to sleep since!....and i make sure that i dont lie on my back,because that what triggers it, i either sleep on my right and if i do turn i turn fully to my left side, so as not to end up lying straight on my back ..and its starting to irriate me because im losing out on so much sleep!, i cnt shut my eyes because im thinking well what if it happens to me right now!

i know your all thinking what a little baby....:-[, but thinking that i might wake up paralysed really frightens me!! and this prevents me from sleeping.i think its going to take a few more days for me to relax and forget InshAllah.
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Malaikah
09-29-2008, 01:10 PM
:sl:

Personally I don't find it that scary until I'm fully awake and out of the bed the next morning. But maybe that's because when it happens to me, it happens when I'm falling asleep, not as I'm waking up, so I'm half asleep when it happens and I end up falling sleep when its over.

But its not that scary in reality - but then I've never really had hallucinates alhamdulilah. And you don't really feel like you're paralysed... it feels more like you are SOOO tired that you can't move a muscle, but it does hurt when you try to move.

Basically, it's not worth being afraid of it, especially if its never happened to you before. :)
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