Depressed: i just wanna get some help!

[suffiyan007]

Dear LI members,

i have been friend with R and D for so long, everytime they come to my house always asking me to give them foods and spend them food in the restaurant..when sometime i asked them to spend me food and they always said no money and always asking me money....lend them money...i am tired and no money and i want to break up with them....! i have been friend with them for 10 years...they always take advantage...so how am i gonna do?

[IB-Staff]

Thread Approved and Moved :hmm:

[truemuslim]

Dear LI members,

i have been friend with R and D for so long, everytime they come to my house always asking me to give them foods and spend them food in the restaurant..when sometime i asked them to spend me food and they always said no money and always asking me money....lend them money...i am tired and no money and i want to break up with them....! i have been friend with them for 10 years...they always take advantage...so how am i gonna do?

yehh u gotta job? do they gotta job? if they dont, and u do, then thats the reason.
if not...
then tell em u aint got no money, tell em to quit bein gold digga's, if they refuse, tis when u get meannn..
if ur too nice for that :mmokay:
then...
tell them more like the nice old boring nevada way : "Ok , i kno u is been ma frend forevr like yehh , buh cmon i gots taxes to pay, i wife to take care of, children to love, and i aint gots time to waste money, i eat and drink all loan mann please stoop milkin meh" (but beter grammar, and if ur not married/have kids, take that part out)
ahem...k now for real advice...
*wakes up siss serene and jolie* :hiding:

[Snowflake]

be honest and tell them you can't afford to entertain them all the time.. if they really are friends they will 'understand'. If they don't:

1. stop going out to restaurants with them

2. when they are coming to your house, tell them to pick some food on the way.. I'm sure when they have to dig into their pockets they'll soon learn something

oh and in future only do what your means allow.. don't cook for people like your inviting royalty each time.. I used to do that and when I can't I feel people think I'm being stingy when really I'm broke. One (univited) person even told me they didn't want the chicken pasta I'd cooked as they were hoping to eat 'chapatti curry.'

talk about taking the 'roti' literally!

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[islamirama]

You need to be bit more aggressive. Are you trying to be nice because they are your friends or you don't want to loose your friends? You have an obligation towards your family, not them. Stop going to restaurant with them as that is waste of money. just say you don't have any money and if they do take you by force,keep only about $5 in your wallet and no credit cards. If they come over, tell them to bring a dish. At home cook only for two people, if they ask why so little. Tell them 1. you don't have money, and 2. it's sunnah to cook for 2 and invite 4, cook for 4 and invite 8 as there is more barakah in it. Oh and find some better and real friends, dump them already!

hadith: A believer never gets stung from the same hole twice! (compare that to your 10 yrs)

[suffiyan007]

they said if i invited them to house or see me..in my place...so i must spend them food and drink..does this really a law...! i dont think...i hate...i invited them asking water and food...! then must put petrol for them.... and etc...oh god...everything free of charge...!:laugh::laugh::laugh::cry::cry::cry::cry ::cry::cry:

[SixTen]

Just be straight with them. If you feel too bad to be so, then get over paying for them. Its really that simple.

Its actually funny, because I had 2 friends A and B. A felt bad for B, during college, when we went to like fast food places to eat because B never had any money. So, for the whole year, he had insisted he buy somthing on him. :)

[suffiyan007]

Just be straight with them. If you feel too bad to be so, then get over paying for them. Its really that simple.

Its actually funny, because I had 2 friends A and B. A felt bad for B, during college, when we went to like fast food places to eat because B never had any money. So, for the whole year, he had insisted he buy somthing on him. :)

thanks for your kind word SixTen...!

[SixTen]

thanks for your kind word SixTen...!

Giving to the people will help you in akhira brother. I am guessing it is becoming an issue so, resolve it and explain to them that you can't do it as often as they may expect you to. Yes, it may create a somewhat awkward situation at first, but they don't last.

[Re.TiReD]

Tell him you aint got the dough and that they'll have to dig some outta their own pockets or starve :D

[julie sarri]

I would tell them in a good way that you can longer afford to keep doing this for them times are hard every where and you have to look out for your self insha'Allah Allah will reward you for what you have done for them all ready but you must look out for yourself now you don't have to stop inviting them around altogether cut it down to once a month it seems they are taking advantage of your kind nature.

[suffiyan007]

thanks...for all...jazakallah khayran...! they always said they dont have money....and while their working partime...so why dont have money and etc?

[Hasan Ali]

dont give them money simple tell them to pay you back first be aggressive not to nice all the time being time gets you being free-loaded

[Ansariyah]

Tell them that u cnt give wt u dnt have.
wat kind of friends are these? strange.

[suffiyan007]

they always ask, can u lend me some money i wanna take bus going home,no money,while he came to my house got money to pay the bus fair and then must spend him drinking cendol drink in Ramadhan bazaar,and he said he is thirsty...he promised to spend me food and drink said must wait...later..and later...until many years i dont get anything from them...just once only they spend me...then about all over 10 years i spend them like hell. real hypnotized.

i decided to break up with him!:skeleton:

[suffiyan007]

my friends asking me for second chance that they wanna said, why i am kicking them out..! i really out of my mind...i said i need a break and calm down...and i wanna forget about friends. then i get back to life.