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glo
09-30-2008, 11:37 AM
One of the things I really admire in Islam is the emphasis on hospitality. :)

Now, Christianity too teaches that we should be hospitable ... but somehow that is an area I personally struggle with.

Much as I would like to invite people into my home, I usually get caught up in worrying about whether the house is tidy enough, or the food good enough, or the hostess entertaining enough ...

Deep down I know that these are very superficial and meaningless worries, and that being hospitable is about more than 'impressing the guests'.
But knowing it isn't the same as putting it into practice ...

So I would like to ask you all what hospitality means to you.
And how you put it into practice in your daily life.

Peace
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Mikayeel
09-30-2008, 11:41 AM
Hello glo :), very interesting topic!

To us as a family it means inviting a guest in the house, the house must be as clean as it can get. And we try to serve the best food available. We all have worries about our house being unclean or not enough food etc... But this can easily be solved by cleaning the house to the best of ones ability nd getting food that you would like and which u can afford :D

Its very important to have a welcoming feel and making the guest feel like hes at home.

This is what it means to me.

:w:
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'Abd al-Baari
09-30-2008, 11:42 AM
:sl:

Much as I would like to invite people into my home, I usually get caught up in worrying about whether the house is tidy enough, or the food good enough, or the hostess entertaining enough ...

Deep down I know that these are very superficial and meaningless worries, and that being hospitable is about more than 'impressing the guests'.
But knowing it isn't the same as putting it into practice ...
That sounds like somthing my mum would do, worry more about how clean the place is..:skeleton:

I think that the most important thing, is to make your guests feel comfortable, so they don't feel out of place and totally at home and relaxed. Trying to over-do it sometimes makes guests feel weird, and as if they are a burden, so simply take it easy!

Interesting topic!

:peace:
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doorster
09-30-2008, 11:46 AM
yes for Islam not so much for all people with Muslim names (unless it is partying within and for their own circle of family and friends) for various reasons.

from my very limited interaction with Christians, I know of a place in Leeds England run by Catholics called St.Georges Crypt where they take in all the homeless, the retarded, as well as layabouts and other down and outs who arrive at their door and feed them lunch and supper too and its not all done from city council grants but also legions of Christian Ladies who queue up to donate food stuffs and the like

Ma'asalaama

its easy peasy to be hospitable to the ones you know like relatives, their friends and neighbours etc (it is all reciprocal i.e one expects to get something in return). but strangers are a different matter altogether
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chacha_jalebi
09-30-2008, 11:48 AM
many people when bein hospitatible worry about a lot of things sister!

like they think if i greet someone, make a joke, will i sound/look like a weirdo, thats just human nature,

the main thing when bein hospitible is to remember your intention, if your doin it for gods sake, to make the person happy, to make yourself happy, you should focus on all that, because surely the person will judge you as a host, and not by how clean the house, just be genuine innit

me personally like today, been around few peoples house for eid and if its like spotless clean, it looks kool because you appreciate the effort they make, but we didnt come here to see the house, we came for the food :p naa lol to spend time with friends and family innit, thats the main point of hospitality - socialisin! so exterior thins like clean house, food, what to serve are just minor, depends on you as a person!!

are you hintin your throwin a eid party for us all btw :embarrass
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Danah
09-30-2008, 11:51 AM
hi glo :)

our meaning is the same as above....when we have some guests, we have to prepare the house very well for them....make sure that all the proper food is available, if not go quickly to the nearest store to buy some before they come

if they were special guests like some one did not come to our house from a while then we will prepare a dinner for them. not only sweets or something like that

if those guests are our relatives or even not and they might spend the night in our home, then we have to prepare a clean room for them with enough beds and pillows.....etc........ and wait !! I have not done yet :-[
someone have to weak up early next morning to prepare the breakfast to them before they wake up;D

we need to let them leave with a good impression

I am done now.....:statisfie
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crayon
09-30-2008, 12:00 PM
Good hospitality= a good time.
So whatever it is that will show the guest a good time is good hospitality...imho, anyway.
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Hamayun
09-30-2008, 12:08 PM
Hospitality to me means sharing with your friends and neighbours.

Following our Prophet's (PBUH) example that even if you have one date (fruit) share half of it. No matter how humble or small your house or gift. It's the gesture that counts.
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glo
09-30-2008, 06:49 PM
This evening to took an Eid card and a small gift to our neighbours, and I experienced their hospitality first hand.

Instead of just handing my gift over at the door I was ushered into the sitting room and onto the sofa.
I was offered a drink, and received - despite me trying to politely refuse - a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits.
Despite some language barriers we managed to chat about Ramadan and Eid, our families, food, the weather. We introduced ourselves by name (as women so often do, we only know our children's names, but not our own ...), and wrote down our names for each other, so we won't forget! :D

I was promised some pilaf rice tomorrow, and offered in turn some of our last vegetables in the garden.

Their house is pretty bare, and obviously there isn't much money around - but it was clean and tidy.

<Makes mental note to keep own house tidy enough at all times, to be able to receive unexpected guests!> :-[
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doorster
09-30-2008, 06:49 PM
I was promised some pilaf rice tomorrow, and offered in turn some of our last vegetables in the garden
regret to say that, that has more to do with what I said before not much to do anything with my understanding of what Islamic concept of hospitality is

edit:
(I do realise that it is not practical under all circumstances) but still have to ask; who is showing hospitality to the strangers and the poor ? :bump: الغرباء والفقراء
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glo
09-30-2008, 07:04 PM
Originally Posted by doorster
regret to say that, that is more to with what I said before not much to do anything with my understanding of what Islamic concept of hospitality is
I am not sure what you mean, doorster.

But I am quite excited about it, because to me it is a gesture of people sharing things which each other. When we stop being strangers, we are one step closer to becoming friends.

Do you think it is wrong or pointless or un-Islamic to share with each other the food we have?
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doorster
09-30-2008, 07:50 PM
Originally Posted by glo
I am not sure what you mean, doorster.

But I am quite excited about it, because to me it is a gesture of people sharing things which each other. When we stop being strangers, we are one step closer to becoming friends.

Do you think it is wrong or pointless or un-Islamic to share with each other the food we have?
I am sorry that I am stupid and unclear most of the time.

what I mean is that your two families are being neighbourly and hospitality is much more than tit for tat gestures and its reward comes after we are resurrected

I am sorry I cant do any better ATM but I might come back later and either amend or edit out content of my last post

ma'asalaama
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islamirama
09-30-2008, 07:59 PM
Guests in Islam are seen as Allah's mercy. We treat them well and please Allah and He blesses us. :)

Our great Prophet [s] teaches us to be generous and how to entertain guests. He wants a Muslim to show gratitude...

The Messenger of Allah [s] further guides us by saying: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be hospitable with his or her guests."


Our great Prophet [s] teaches us to be generous and how to entertain guests. He wants a Muslim to show gratitude and be kind and happy when receiving guests. One should respect and welcome his guests, in particular when they are strangers, or have no family or friends in that country.


It may even happen that a guest comes while relatives or friends are being entertained, or other travelers are staying and there is lack of space; or you are unprepared and have few provisions or are even short of money. In any eventuality, guests who come to your home should be made welcome, shown respect and be provided with whatever food and drink are available. One should sit with them in order to make them feel comfortable and happy, and take care to pay great attention to them.


Surely, our glorious Prophet [s] guides us towards respecting guests and being generous towards them. In this respect, he says: "Indeed whoever believes that Allah is All-Generous, Who provides for His creation and rewards those who are hospitable towards their guests, should look after his guest."


Surely, Allah will increase our provision if we welcome our guests and give them food and drink, and will reward us on the Resurrection Day.


Allah is All-Generous, who loves the generous ones and dislikes those who are mean.
Shaikh Abbas Qummi, Safinat al-Bihar, Bab Dhaif, Sunan ibn Maja, vol. 2, Haq al Jiwar (The rights of neighbours), Ikram al-Dhaif (Respecting the Guest).
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doorster
09-30-2008, 08:06 PM
I wish people would stick to their own understanding of concept under discussion for once instead of running to god dang shaikh google and start copy and paste

that does not show how things ARE but how they were or might be should be
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Hasan Ali
09-30-2008, 08:09 PM
well if the guest dont feel welcomed it hurts them a lot inside (Experienced in Kuwait) and if they treat you well you feel welcomed and generous to them.
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islamirama
09-30-2008, 08:10 PM
According to Abu Hurairah, a man came to find the Prophet and the latter asked his wives for something to give him to eat. "We have absolutely nothing," they replied, "except water." "Who wants to share his meal with this man?" asked the Prophet. A man of the Companions then said, "I." Then he led this man to his wife and said to her, "Treat generously the guest of the Messenger of God." She replied, "We have nothing except our children's supper." "Oh, well," he replied, "get your meal ready, light your lamp, and when your children want supper, put them to bed." So the woman prepared the meal, lit the lamp, put the children to bed, then, getting up as if to trim the lamp, she extinguished it. The Companion and his wife then made as if to eat, but in fact they spent the night with empty stomachs. The next day when the Companion went to find the Messenger of God, the latter said to him, "This night God smiled." It was then that God revealed these words, "and they prefer the others before themselves, although there be indigence among them" [Qur'an 59.9].
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doorster
09-30-2008, 08:24 PM
^^ That (originally pasted from but now edited out) site is a site which teaches the Nu Ha Mim Keller and Faraz Rabbani brand of Sufism

I hate goofy sites where they post a partial or modified hadees and say: Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Malik, al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah and Ahmad.

average person does not know all those or even part of those books and can NEVER confirm the validity of any such saying (if there ever was one.

disclaimer note: I am not refuting the concept of hospitality but the passion for googling excessively and pasting from even the banned sites
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chacha_jalebi
09-30-2008, 10:06 PM
lets not use offensive nicknames for each other :( tiss not nice!!!

now we all love each other, lets remember that! and if someone is unaware of the sources, inshallah lets try to find the full hadiths, and post it :D
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doorster
09-30-2008, 10:49 PM
:sl:
his latest edit is from unification.net

WORLD SCRIPTURE A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts
Dr. Andrew Wilson, Editor


however I don't dislike that site as it can be useful for general knowledge of all world religions but to use it for any other purpose is well, what can I say?

and the quote on last page is from a man who had "pious and mystical life" was always "trying to follow the infallible Ahle Bait (a.s.) in worship" "He used to give lectures regarding advice and admonitions, the remembrance of Ahle Bait (a.s.) and conveying the traditions of the Holy Ahle Bait (a.s.)."


hm... I don't know if "the remembrance of Ahle Bait" means remembrance of Allah The Ahl e bait way or the actual remembrance of them at expense of the remembrance of the Creator

:w:
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Cabdullahi
09-30-2008, 11:42 PM
Originally Posted by glo
One of the things I really admire in Islam is the emphasis on hospitality. :)

Now, Christianity too teaches that we should be hospitable ... but somehow that is an area I personally struggle with.

Much as I would like to invite people into my home, I usually get caught up in worrying about whether the house is tidy enough, or the food good enough, or the hostess entertaining enough ...

Deep down I know that these are very superficial and meaningless worries, and that being hospitable is about more than 'impressing the guests'.
But knowing it isn't the same as putting it into practice ...

So I would like to ask you all what hospitality means to you.
And how you put it into practice in your daily life.

Peace
sister glo hospitality means alot of things,the most important ones to me are

In no particular order
Care
Humbleness
respect
kindness
(Quality of service)*
all these are governed by the control of superiority complex,in order to call over everyone and to cater for ppl from different backgrounds you must demolish any thoughts that occur which makes you think you are superior either because of colour,financial inadequacy and culture


An english man might be welcomed in a pakistani home but he might not be comfortable inviting them over because he might think he is a couple of degree's higher in stature and secondly what if he calls them over and his fellow neighbors get frightened at seeing covered women and men with big turbines and vice-versa


we all have the same beginning and we will all perish and anything we earn in between in terms of money,power,popularity equals to nothing at the end,
so know one is superior ,only god is!!!
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alcurad
10-01-2008, 01:10 AM
while it is true that in Islam, hospitality is important, I would be inclined to think that what glo experienced was more on the cultural side.
simply put, easterners have different ways of greeting etc than westerners.
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جوري
10-01-2008, 02:22 AM
Hospitality to me means staying at a five/seven star hotel, with all the amenities, the tourist guides aren't pushy and the weather delightful
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alcurad
10-01-2008, 03:13 AM
^ second that:)
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doorster
10-01-2008, 03:41 AM
^^ I would have seconded that too but I am somewhat financially challenged for the foreseeable future:-[

:D :w:
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glo
10-01-2008, 07:10 AM
Thank you all for your thoughs and contributions.

From what I have read so far, hospitality can mean different things:

  • A getting-together and celebration amongst those we might call our own. (Such as an Eid celebration)
  • A reaching out to those in need: the poor and the hungry, the homeless and the sick. (Such as doorster emphasized)
  • A reaching out to overcome a cultural divide. (Such as I experienced with my neighbours)


Does that about sum it up?
Any more thoughts?
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Sahabiyaat
10-01-2008, 04:19 PM
to me hospitality is a winning smile, a warm hug, effortless talking, forcing you to have third helpings and genuinely asking you to stay longer. i dont care if your house is a tip, although cleanlines if half of faith so keep it clean!
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glo
10-01-2008, 04:52 PM
What doorster said about hospitality got me thinking.

On Saturday, when I came back from the town centre on the bus, I sat behind a man who was quite unkempt and ... well ... smelly. So smelly, in fact, that I started to feel quite nauseous.
As I caught myself starting to feel quite annoyed about this man, hoping that he would get off the bus anytime soon, I suddenly remembered that God loves this man too ... and that God instructs me to extend my love and care to this stranger too!

So, in the light of this thread I ask myself, if I would really invite this unwashed, messy stranger into my home, invite him to sit on my chair and share my food?

Well, would I??
Would you??

:-[
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Cabdullahi
10-01-2008, 05:05 PM
i would invite him with no problem
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aamirsaab
10-01-2008, 05:33 PM
Originally Posted by glo
....

Well, would I??
Would you??[/B]
:-[
If I trust him, yes.

Otherwise, no.

I guess, there are some people you preach to and some you don't. Or, to put it another way: you can't give a present to every person who makes you smile (ideally, this would be really nice but I'm speaking in practical terms). Similarly, you can't give dawah to every person you meet. Live a good life (preferably as a muslim :p) and help (as many) people along the way. What counts as 'as many people' is upto you as an individual.
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Mawaddah
10-02-2008, 03:14 PM
:sl:

This is a very interesting topic glo.

I have to say that initially I was not a very hospitable person. I really really disliked guests and would cringe everytime someone came to visit. Normally I would tell my mother "I'm in my room" and then lock myself in there for the length of their visit. It made me uneasy to sit with guests and make conversation and I would always constantly worry about silly things like ; what did they think of what we served? was it good enough? Did they think the house was messy? etc. etc. I just couldn't stand it.

Alhamdulillah it's not like that anymore, after experiencing the amazing hospitality of certain individuals, and some of them being my own uncles.

On returning back to Malaysia recently after a long time away, I have to say that I was quite quite taken aback at how hospitable and welcoming they were to their guests and how warmly they greeted them. When they said to make yourselves at home they really meant it!!

They would take everything they had in the house and present it to the guests. They would let the guests use their own bedrooms whilst they slept in the hallway on the floor. They are not so well-to do, but after being welcomed into their homes all you feel is just the warmth which they extend to the visitor, stranger or friend.And they really go out of the way to make you feel part of the household Masha'allah.

As for the example of the man on the bus that you gave glo, I honestly say that I would have second thoughts about inviting him into my home, but I know that my uncles definitely would not, they're just like that.

Well, I still haven't reached that level yet and at times large numbers of guests still trigger off a panic attack,and cause me to get a bit stiff, but at least i'm not as bad as before alhamdulillah
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glo
10-03-2008, 04:18 AM
Just a neighbourhood update:

Yesterday evening our neighbour's son brought us a dish of lamb biryani.
It was delicious!
(And just about as spicy as I can handle it! :phew :D)
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