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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 12:46 PM
:salamext:

So what do you think?

People change and life goes on... We cant do anything to stop it. Reminds me of the following actually:


ι’м נυѕт мє αи∂ тнαт’ѕ αℓℓ ι ¢αи вє,


иσ мσяє, иσ ℓєѕѕ,


иσ ѕє¢σи∂ gυєѕѕ.



уσυ мαу иσт ℓιкє мє, вυт тнαт’ѕ σкαу,


тнιѕ ιѕ мє αи∂ тнιѕ ιѕ нσω ι’ℓℓ ѕтαу.



If I change, its because I dont like the way I am, because there is something in me that is annoying and that I dislike. I would never give a thought to how my change would affect others, (unless it would seriously hurt them), because I would try to change for the better only.



What do you think? Are you okay with people changing? Or dont you like change? Maybe you feel comfortable with the way things/people are and dont like things suddenly changing...



Am I making sense? :-[



Discuss Insha'Allah



Oh and Disclaimer: The contents of this post took me a second to think up (literally)...Its not meant to be a hint for anybody at all :)



:wasalamex
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highway_trekker
10-03-2008, 12:54 PM
Change... I dont like it unless its for the better. And sometimes even that hurts...like the truth hurts sometimes...but change is healthy, proactive and helps us to grow. To think we dont need to change anything in ourselves or change shouldnt happen around is very debilitating. To change is to take hold of another chance...before its too late??
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Al-Zaara
10-03-2008, 12:54 PM
Change, good or bad? Depends. It depends on so much.

Sometimes we think less good or ge hurt by a change someone takes in thmselves, but this person seems very happy with the change in themselves and are stronger or something... This dosn't mean it is the person's fault who changed or that the change itself is bad. Could be it is you who is the one who should change about something now, like attitude or sensibility.

Example on what I mean: A girl is always very shy, but then starts getting off the shyness and is more confident. Her friend might get intimidated but won't admit and goes on subconcsiouslly searchin' faults in this "changed" friend and then makes accusations, "You have changed... You were better then.. What happened?" etc. But this girl should be the one changing, seeing it is better for the person to be confident and this girl maybe didn't realize she was sometimes pushin', bullyin' her friend 'cause she was shy.

Now, the change could be too much and the friend who witnesses this could be partially right too. Meaning the person who changed doesn't know how to handle the change and goes over the top with being 'confident', that is not good and should be balanced.


Again, it all depends. Yes, you are what you are but you should be ready to change something about you, which you see just grants you negativity or people run away from you. Just 'cause you change something in your personality or way of handeling things or anything else, doesn't mean you are less you. You are always you and there is no "basic me", "always been like this"... We always experience changes of different kinds, through life, through our surroundings our experiences and such. We are ever changing, more ore less.

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TrueStranger
10-03-2008, 12:55 PM
The Fear of God brings about a change that is unchangeable.
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Danah
10-03-2008, 12:55 PM
for me......I have to admit that I like the sudden changes, Yeah sometimes its change to the worse and it hurts a lot but I think thats just make me stronger for the worse.

I have met many people in my life, some of them changed to the worse, that hurt me a lot, but it teach me good lessons as well to be strong and able to face the changing people in the changing world
well, thats is the fact I cant stop the world from changing and the same for people, and I dont want to say that I am not changing myself, I do changed a lot during the last year.....
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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 12:57 PM
Originally Posted by highway_trekker
Change... I dont like it unless its for the better. And sometimes even that hurts...like the truth hurts sometimes...but change is healthy, proactive and helps us to grow. To think we dont need to change anything in ourselves or change shouldnt happen around is very debilitating. To change is to take hold of another chance...before its too late??
Wow JazakAllah khayr for that insight sis.

I agree with most of what you say, and I dont actually like change either. In the grand scheme of things all I am is a small person stuck in my comfort zone, and I dont like to change that. I'd prefer it if people stayed the same, but that isnt to say that I never change. Because you're right, change is healthy...since we're all flawed in my opinion and have the potential for growth and improvement always.
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highway_trekker
10-03-2008, 12:58 PM
Originally Posted by TrueStranger
The Fear of God brings about a change that is unchangeable.
... :cry:
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be sensible
10-03-2008, 01:00 PM
Change can be good defending on the purpose of change If you change for the better which helps you to improve your life and way of life.

But bare in mind that your change doesnt effect the life of some one else or hurts another.

when ever change takes place we should always evaluate our actions and always remember for every actions there is consequences ultimately which we will have to live with.

But over all nothing stays the way they are forever things around us people around us change. So we too constantly look in our self and evoke change either to learn more to adapt to situations.
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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 01:01 PM
Wow some amazing replies, BarakAllahu feekum sisters! :ooh: Seriously insightful masha'Allah.

I believe a person will always strive for perfection, to be something better than they were before...to strive for self-actualisation (whether or not we can actually be fully actualised is an argument within itself but ... ) and if I have a problem with people changing, it means I need to get out of my delusion a little, and understand that things are changing around me all the time. (I talk in the 1st person btw, I'm not necesarily talking about myself)
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be sensible
10-03-2008, 01:34 PM
Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
Wow some amazing replies, BarakAllahu feekum sisters! :ooh: Seriously insightful masha'Allah.

I believe a person will always strive for perfection, to be something better than they were before...to strive for self-actualisation (whether or not we can actually be fully actualised is an argument within itself but ... ) and if I have a problem with people changing, it means I need to get out of my delusion a little, and understand that things are changing around me all the time. (I talk in the 1st person btw, I'm not necesarily talking about myself)
I agree with you sister when things change around us it always leaves a lesson for us to learn and grow. We always learn something new from the events that unfold our lives. Change leaves us experience and knowledge of the events without change we wouldnt have known.


when drastic change takes place at first it may blow us off or may seem to hard to bare but with time we realise what ever happened it happened for the best it makes us stronger and better as a person it makes us who are today.

All ways remember Allah test the one most who has the strongest in faith as Allah is aware of your strength. with time and with patience all the pieces will come together inshallah

Always ask Allah SWt to give you strength to cope with the change around you and help with your journey in life.
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chacha_jalebi
10-03-2008, 02:12 PM
a serious discussion yayyy :D

depends like sister al zaara said, change for what, if your a baddy and you become a goody, then that is obvious change for the good!

also, i dont think you should change yourself to accomodate someone needs as it says in that poem thin, like if someone dont like you, then thats their loss, thats how you should view it!

and one thin is important to realise, you cant impress everyone, not everyone is ogna be happy with you and like you, so thinkin you can be loved and liked by everyone is wrong, because your unique and everyone has their own choices, so it dont mean people will like you, so you shouldnt change for people!

and changin yourself to be a better person is good, but you need to understand you need to content with what your doin, because in one day you cant be like the nex sheikh ibn baz lol, so be happy with what your changin and change for the better, only change to please yourself and not because others will like you, because like i said you cant please anyone, and neither can you be completely perfect!
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Al-Zaara
10-03-2008, 02:22 PM
also, i dont think you should change yourself to accomodate someone needs as it says in that poem thin, like if someone dont like you, then thats their loss, thats how you should view it!
But that depends aswell! You yourself might not think your total honestness and bluntness hurts someone and if it does, whatever, but this ain't a good attitude, for example. Someone may need a bit more sensitive care from you or another way or another side to show from you, you can't show only one side all the time of you for everyone. You can't be that cool rhymer infront of your boss, you have to be the collected hard worker instead. Get me?
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chacha_jalebi
10-03-2008, 02:26 PM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
But that depends aswell! You yourself might not think your total honestness and bluntness hurts someone and if it does, whatever, but this ain't a good attitude, for example. Someone may need a bit more sensitive care from you or another way or another side to show from you, you can't show only one side all the time of you for everyone. You can't be that cool rhymer infront of your boss, you have to be the collected hard worker instead. Get me?
yeah of course lol, i didnt mean it that your harsh and evil to people, i meant it in the sense that if someone dont like you as a person, then you cant change your whole personality for them, but agreed that you have to deal with different people individual, but i wouldnt see that as a change i would see that as part of your personality, for example, if someone is bein negative with you, you ask them whats wrong, then be nice to them, then if they carry on then you dont change to accomodate them, you show them the door :p

its like that hadiths, be gentle with women and dont change them because they are made from the rib, and if you try to change the rib, you will break it! like you cant change yourselfs for others, you need to have a balance, like change a bit or stuff, but not completely change yourself, then you will be bein fake
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Al-Zaara
10-03-2008, 02:27 PM
^ Aha, ok, that way seen I agree aswell.
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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 02:29 PM
What I meant was that you cant be selfish and expect people to remain the same just because it suits you. IF somebody changes you accept that they're changed in a way that they like...?
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chacha_jalebi
10-03-2008, 02:34 PM
Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
What I meant was that you cant be selfish and expect people to remain the same just because it suits you. IF somebody changes you accept that they're changed in a way that they like...?
yes, because we dont rule people, if somebody changes and we dont like it, you can talk to them about it, but i dont think you can ultimately change them, if its a bad change then you can influence them to good, but if its a change where they have like stopped talkin to you or somethin, then it could be hard to change em
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Güven
10-03-2008, 02:47 PM
I changed myself from little good to a better good , and some people who see this change in me are respectful but some doesnt want to accept this change cuz they know how i was in the past and they dont wanna see the change and....arghhhh its just too hard to explain!

i think yo need to change yourself before you can see the changes of others.

:w:
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truemuslim
10-03-2008, 02:58 PM
I've changed...u all kno that...

and im happy.
nobody really .."knows" tho so it doesnt really matter :)
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Lamees
10-03-2008, 03:02 PM
Change is good if somebody becomes a better muslim/person.

Change is bad if somebody becomes a worse muslim/person.
:thumbs_up:thumbs_up:thumbs_up
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Nájlá
10-03-2008, 03:04 PM
i've changed myself but to the better some ppl did not accept it but some did.
Alhamdullah i am happy the way i am now.

if ppl change to be a better muslim then thats good. other than that i dont care if the change or not.
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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 08:23 PM
Lol agreed at overly philosophical...but sometimes you just get thinking...

I remember one time I kinda changed and I was greeted with hostility...they thought I wasnt one of them anymore. But blahh...I guess its true that the only thing that matters is how u see yourself
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noorseeker
10-03-2008, 08:38 PM
This reminds me when you start practising, people are not as keen as you are, they might not like to see changes.

A wife might not like her hubby when he starts following deen, all bollywood crap out the door
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Zahida
10-03-2008, 09:03 PM
People change all the time for good and bad..................... No-one is perfect.
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Re.TiReD
10-03-2008, 09:05 PM
True, I guess changing is a life-long process...
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IbnAbdulHakim
10-03-2008, 10:10 PM
never change - never become better - never become worse - but what if you already sucked?
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------
10-04-2008, 11:39 AM
:salamext:

Change sucks. Straight up. No ifs no buts.
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Danah
10-04-2008, 12:20 PM
when I changed to better some people accepted it, while other is not.....but the worse is that some other people accepted it when they facing me, but backbiting me when they are talking to the others......those are the hypocrite kind
I was mad at first, but now, its just up to them, ......I dont care whatever they wanna say if they want say it loudly I dont really care.....
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Re.TiReD
10-04-2008, 04:22 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
- but what if you already sucked?
Then you gotta change no matter what anybody says.
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Sanobar
10-04-2008, 05:24 PM
:sl:
agreed change depends on what ur changin into...if ur turnin into a good person then well n good... but then if ur chngin into a bad one then... ermm...i have seen ppl change.. ppl who werre shy turn into this total new confident ppl.. and now they are sooo confident that they wanna try new things... clubbin drinkin.. etc... so for these sort o pl chnage aint good.. coz they're vulnerable and wanna try wha other ppl do...soo.. chnage is good for ppl who knw they're limits :p and dun get carried away lol

:w:
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Re.TiReD
10-04-2008, 05:28 PM
Argh...

This thread seems lame to me now.

People change. We're all going to change whether we like it or not.

Our life experiences mould and change us into something different, whether for bad or for worse, is dependant upon how strong we are.

End of.
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Re.TiReD
10-04-2008, 05:50 PM
;D

I so needed that laugh, had I felt this change to be +ve I would have repped you but my brain cells seem to be lacking and to rep you would require too much strength.

Sorry.

But I'll humour you, and tell you that I have changed and I think I've changed for the better....well I hope so anyway. I hope I will come out of this stronger.

Make Du'aa for this fish Insha'Allah :D
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.: Jannati :.
10-04-2008, 06:03 PM
:sl:

I've changed the way I view things as the years go by, can't really say how I've changed personally...doesn't matter how many things I learn, become and accomplish..I'm still pathetic old me lol too sentimental about everything and anything...:-[ and I mention it so much coz its something I wish to change about myself..but can't do it so well *sigh*


fishes are always in this sister's Adiyaats Insha'Allah :thumbs_up :)

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Ansariyah
10-04-2008, 06:04 PM
I like change if it's good. But sometimes u wont know it right away it might take time.
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