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HussamZ
10-03-2008, 03:09 PM
Al Salamu Alaikum,

My name is Hussam and I am 16 year old Muslim. I consider myself to be quite religious and lately I feel myself being drawn much closer to god. The reason that I am posting this topic is because I need your help.

I have been committing a sin for a very long time. I am feeling VERY regretful.
That sin is Masturbation and looking at Pornography. About 1-2 years ago, I did not know that it was completely Haram because I barely read the Quran. At the start of this year, I realised that it is completely forbidden and VERY hated in our Religion and for this reason during the month of Ramadan I asked god for forgiveness and to never return to such acts. I did not commit this act during Ramadan.

At the end of Ramadan however, about 2 days ago, I had the sudden urge to do it. I fulfilled my desire but betrayed Allah. I have done this before Ramadan as well. Doing it and asking for forgiveness, Again and again, feeling guilty after every session. The shaytan always got the best of me with this. I feel that I have taken advantage of the situation for TOO LONG. Always doing it and asking for forgiveness, thinking that god will forgive me.

Astaghfir Allah al Azeem wa koli Zanbin Azeem. I am still a young man and I am continuously learning, I want to learn more. This, I cannot do when I know that God hates me for what I have done.

I feel that I don't deserve to have Allah even look at me for what I have done. I hate this quality in me. I am so sad about this that I feel like crying. I am at my wit's end, is there ANY WAY that god will EVER forgive me? I need his help and I am crying out for him to forgive me.
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noorseeker
10-03-2008, 08:18 PM
assalamalikum brother, first of all brother if you try the search option, you will find this subject covered so many many many times , there you will find a lot of good advice,

Allahamduliilah at 16 you have noticed the error of your ways,, the next few years are going to be extremely difficult, but you can make yourself strong.



As i said this subject has been done, thats why i noticed a lack of replies,
not saying its only a guy problem, but a lot of sisters on here might take it in bad taste
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HussamZ
10-03-2008, 08:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nightstar
but a lot of sisters on here might take it in bad taste
Al Salamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmat Ullah.
Believe me, I was well aware of this when I posted this thread. That's the main reason I was hesitant to do such a thing.
My questions however are not concerned with "Is Masturbation wrong" for I am well aware of this fact. What I am asking you and the other forum members, is how can I repent in such a way that god can forgive me for such sins?

I have repeated this sin so many times that I don't think I can forgive myself, let alone god forgive me. This is what I have come on this forum to ask you.

I am very sorry if I have offended anyone by this topic or if I have crossed a sensitive subject, as I do not wish to do so.
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HussamZ
10-03-2008, 08:29 PM
Apologies nightstar, I did not thank you in my previous post for replying to my topic.
:) Thanks for your help.
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noorseeker
10-03-2008, 08:33 PM
no problem brother you ask for forgiveness the normal way,, do tauba,

thats the mercy of Allah swt, no matter how many times we fall, Allah gives us a chance. but that dont mean you purposely sin,

The main thing you can do is fast brother,

Bro im 26 and unmarried, its not easy holding your desire in a world where there is fitna every where.

i cant tell you the magic cure because there is not one, realistically speaking do i think you will never commit this sin again , answer is no,


As`all addictions it takes time, but Only Allah swt knows, i wish it came to my head when i was 16
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noorseeker
10-03-2008, 08:35 PM
no prob try typing masturbation in the search function, you will good advice
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Ali.
10-04-2008, 09:38 AM
:sl:

Hey, bro' don't worry! We are humans and you making errors is just what makes you human! Allah [swt] mentions in the Qur'an that he is ever forgiving, merciful.

Say: 'O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving (Ghaffur), Most Merciful (Rahim).'" (Qur'an 39:53)

"And whoever does evil, or wrongs his own soul, but afterwards seeks Allah's forgiveness, will find Allah is Forgiving (Ghaffur), Compassionate. (Rahim)" (Qur'an 4:110)

"And [always] seek God's forgiveness: behold, God is much-forgiving (Ghaffur), a dispenser of grace (Raheem)." (Qur'an, 73:20)

"God promises you His forgiveness and bounty; and God is infinite, all-knowing," (Quran 2:268)

And on the authority of Anas, who said: "I heard the messenger of Allah say,":

Allah the Almighty has said: "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it."
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HussamZ
10-04-2008, 08:00 PM
Thank you both of your for your replies.
I appreciate it. I will continue to try and stop this disgusting habit, I hope Allah can be patient with me and provide me with the strength to rid it of my system.
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Ali.
10-04-2008, 08:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HussamZ
Thank you both of your for your replies.
I appreciate it. I will continue to try and stop this disgusting habit, I hope Allah can be patient with me and provide me with the strength to rid it of my system.
I would also like to suggest the following:

  • That if you ever get the urge, go and meet somebody whether it be family or friend
  • If there is nobody to meet go and occupy yourself with something; whether it be exercise or studies
  • Think about it and think "what's the point?"


:)

Those three advices go with any sin commiting. I've found them really helpful for sins I have had a chance of commiting in my life.
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HussamZ
10-04-2008, 08:31 PM
Ali, your advice makes perfect sense, I will definitely implant it into my memory.
I just have one thing to add, if it does happen again, what do I do?
I'll feel shattered, knowing I have given Allah false hope that I got rid of the habit.
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Ali.
10-04-2008, 08:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HussamZ
Ali, your advice makes perfect sense, I will definitely implant it into my memory.
I just have one thing to add, if it does happen again, what do I do?
I'll feel shattered, knowing I have given Allah false hope that I got rid of the habit.
Repent again and fear not as Allah [swt] has said in Al Qur'an al kareem that he is most merciful. The evidence for this is the story of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) with the man who visited him and asked:


If I performed a sin – O Prophet of Allah – would it be recorded?

The Prophet answered: Yes.

The man said: what if I repented?

The Prophet said: It will be erased.

The man added: What if I returned to the sin once again?

The Prophet answered: It will be recorded once again.

The man said: What if I repented?

The Prophet said: It will be erased.

The man said: What if I returned again?

The Prophet said: It will be recorded.

The man asked: What if I repented?

The Prophet said: It will be erased.

The man said: What if I returned again?

The Prophet said: It will be recorded.

The man asked: What if I repented?

The Prophet said: It will be erased.

The man asked: Until when will it be erased?

The Prophet (SAWS) answered, “Allah does not stop bestowing His forgiveness until you get bored of asking for it.”

Taken from this (click) thread.

:)
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HussamZ
10-04-2008, 08:47 PM
Wow, I feel so thankful right now.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you all for your help. Inshallah I can have the strength to get rid of this. I will keep visiting this forum to keep the Shaytan out of my head, and to help myself to learn more about my wonderful religion.
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Ali.
10-04-2008, 09:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HussamZ
Wow, I feel so thankful right now.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you all for your help.
It's my pleasure, bro', to help someone in need of advice. :)

Inshallah I can have the strength to get rid of this.
Insha'Allah you'll rid the habit.

I will keep visiting this forum to keep the Shaytan out of my head, and to help myself to learn more about my wonderful religion.
:)
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Ushae
10-07-2008, 03:52 PM
Get married ? ^o^

Seriosuly though, it's a phase all men/women go through and will continue until you're at least 18. Don't feel too bad about I'm sure practically EVERYone has been through this. Plus it's part of growing up, you just have to learn restraint.

AS for controlling yourself, I'd recommend using the search function to get more information.
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MO783
10-16-2008, 11:14 AM
:sl:

Assalmualykum,

What can be said is I wish I new aswell, its very difficult, especially if you are living on your own and unmarried.

The it is very difficult.

We just have to make dua

Salam
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Ahmed1
04-01-2009, 10:53 AM
As Salamu Alaykum,
I need your help please.. I have masturbated .. but I've done it once, and thanks allah i dont feel that I want to do it again .. i was asking how can I repent of masturbation.. Thanks in advance!
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MO783
04-01-2009, 11:50 AM
Walikumsalam,

make dua to Allah and ask for forgiveness.
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pvg8260
04-02-2009, 11:43 PM
fasting helped me stop the need of it.


-Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust
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Yanal
04-03-2009, 12:02 AM
My parents are really smart,they took my computer and banned inappropiate sites(usually the ones that are banned in school) so I don't watch it,just kiding but try doing that by giving it to a computer technician and if he asks you why? Then say for my little brother whose 12 or make some excuse that isn't literally a lie.
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pvg8260
04-03-2009, 01:06 AM
now you said it, i have been wondering is it Haram to download illegally? i know the question answers it self but we and the non Muslims don't have the same laws. And i don't want just a YES it is at list not this time, give me what you base your answer on.

when i say illegal download i mean like Software which would have costed me money i get it free as well as movies etc.

sorry brother for walking over your reply.
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عبد الله
04-03-2009, 10:03 AM
Ruling on masturbation and how to cure the problem

I have a question which I am shy to ask but another sister who has come to Islam recently wants an answer to and I do not have an answer (with dilals from the Qur'an and Sunnah). I hope you can help and I hope Allah will for give me if it is inappropriate but as Muslims we should never be shy in seeking knowledge. Her question was "Is it permissible in Islam to masturbate?".
May Allah increase us all in knowledge.

_________________________

Praise be to Allaah.

Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:

First from the Qur’aan:

Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.

"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.

Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.

There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct.

As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:

1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.

2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.

3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31

Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.

6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.

10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:
"Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.

13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.

Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.


Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/329
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