HATE towards a "best frnd"

[anonymous]

im starting to hate every1 who is not on my level i dont know why im acting like dis but for sum reason every1 is jst p*ssing me off whether its the way they talk, walk, present themselves, personality and so on. well not only is dat the problem but my mate she considers herself my "BEST FRND" but i dnt see it liek dat at all shes annoying, irritating and CHILDISH everyfing she does is an act and i see her as FAKE because no1 can be soo :enough!::enough!::enough!:ANNOYING, CHILDISHHHH, UN-MATURE! FOR DA AGE OF 16!
but yh not only da but im like 1 step away from telling her hw annoying and irritating she is........shes with me like half the day and i cant get rid of her because she considers me her bestfrnd but styl she runs around college shes been release from a cage and she dont care hw she presents herself to others because she talks LOUD and wen i mean LOUD i mean it! she talks as if im 200miles away wen infact im 2 feet away from her! not only does she embaress me but she embaresses herself too but she dont realise it, do you lot think im jst over-reacting or should i tell her face to face hw much she annoys me and how emabressing she can be! i dnt wanna start hating on her but i feel like i will sooner or later if she dnt change!

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

*Thread Approved*

How old are you? :?

Don't hate on people cuz they're not on your level, cuz others may feel you're not on their level and that doesn't entitle them to hate on you does it? Friendship is a give and take relationship. Both individuals should be helping each other improve themselves. And as her best friend, you kinda should be supportive and nudge her towards being a lil more formal in public just for her own self-respect. 16 year olds sometimes tend to be extraverted and bubbly, so it's not abnormal.

[noorseeker]

just tell her kindly , hey man chill out , you dont have to be loud ,,

She,s only 16, just do it in a way as not to hurt her, words hurt remember that

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you anonymous;

You cannot change her loud voice, you can only change your own, try talking almost in a whisper, reply quieter and slower. You will find that if you do this she will start to respond in the same way.

She might be slightly deaf and people whose hearing is impaired tend to talk louder.

In the spirit of praying for tolerance and understanding.

Eric

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[Ali.]

:sl:

Well, first I think you've got to talk to her about this directly; tell her that she's starting to bug you and she should stop with her loud voice.

And also, look at this:

...Indeed they think too highly of themselves, and are scornful with great pride.
{25:21}

So try not to think yourself as 'higher' than her, you're both humans with inequalities which can be focused on.

[noorseeker]

With age im sure she will change, but she has to change for her and not you

[Sahabiyaat]

original poster..i have a very very similar problem :hmm:, but im dealing with it by staying away, not accepting favours and generally making it clear that i want to be left alone:hmm: and have the peace of mind knowing that i can put my solitude to good use to imporve my emaan.

wallahi, these days i just want to be left alone...im also feeling that being with large groups of ppl,constantly, is annoying me..

[highway_trekker]

Inshaa'Allaah seems like you need a bit of space maybe? Just some time to yourself?

Time allows us to see the blessings we have, appreciate the good in people and accept each other Inshaa'Allaah. If its a deeper problem than that...maybe consider your friendship with her/him and get a friend more suited to you??

But I think also... look to yourself and perhaps there is something in you that needs changing...everyone can't be bad and in fact everyone has something 'bad' about them but that doesnt make them unworthy of being respected or loved or being a friend.

Just have some time out to yourself... you need some space...go do things you really like doing... then maybe talk things through with your friend when you feel like it but without limiting her/his rights over you...?

[M..x]

Raah. What's tha need for tha hate though? I'm not tryna be raw or nothing buh you gotta be decent enough to tell her where she's gone wrong. & Safe you might not be her 'best' mate, buh surley you can have enough courage to tell her like how you feel, even on a 'mate' level. If she's not on your level, why can't you tell her nicely? Thas wha I think.

[Ansariyah]

Maybe she jst got lots to say? I have friends like that, when they're wth me I get headaches, when they leave I miss them. lol

[layla is here]

I would not use those words but I would try to mention nicely that she is talking loud or doing something inappropriate. It is better she get a warning from a friend then a stranger.