i cant deal with my fatness anymore

[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUC CALEKUM I am new to this forum my dear friend adviced me to post here for help. i am in need of dua. i am 18 and sick and tired of life everyday is the same routine eat, be sick eat again starve the next day. my family is always on my case when i loose weight as arabs all they do is shout they dont understand what i am going through. I had an eating disorder for a year now and i truly dont see a way out. i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.
i am practising and i cant pray i cant think i all think about is food ..food..calories..food again i hate this cycle is ruining my life. i believe i am a lost cause. but if u have time you know and your nothing much then just plzz make dua a miracle might happen.WACALEKUMSALAM

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

*Thread Approved*

Well, for starters, alhamdulillah you realize that you do have a problem and you're willing to seek a solution. You need to go to a doctor, because eating and then starving yourself like that for a year has had to have had a negative impact on your body. A doctor would not look at you and laugh, and if he/she did, they would be in the wrong. I don't know what your definition of fat is, but somehow I don't think you are fat...cuz anorexics do call themselves fat when they are at a normal weight or even underweight.

[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUC CALEKUM I am new to this forum my dear friend adviced me to post here for help. i am in need of dua. i am 18 and sick and tired of life everyday is the same routine eat, be sick eat again starve the next day. my family is always on my case when i loose weight as arabs all they do is shout they dont understand what i am going through. I had an eating disorder for a year now and i truly dont see a way out. i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.
i am practising and i cant pray i cant think i all think about is food ..food..calories..food again i hate this cycle is ruining my life. i believe i am a lost cause. but if u have time you know and your nothing much then just plzz make dua a miracle might happen.WACALEKUMSALAM

Small people go thru just as much fuss in getting bigger as big people do in getting smaller,

Seriously to break it down,

WE AS HUMANS ARE NEVER SATISFIED,

If we have nice eye colour we complain about our hair colour,

If we are a nice build we complain about our height,

We are never happy,


There is nothing wrong with you, you are not lost at all,

Why doesn't your doctor introduce you to a personal dietician, I have one because I lose alot of weight thru throwing up (Im not anorexic but just ill) so he gives me info on how to gain weight, if you had one they can help you, without giving up on food they can tell you what to keep eating out of what you like the most,


Don't feel down because of being different, feel special.

[Intisar]

:sl: May Allaah make matters easy on you inshaaAllaah. :)

Eating a lot of food and then starving yourself for a whole day actually causes you to gain weight, because your body assumes that you're in starvation mode and then subsequently stores all of the fat in your body. :)

InshaaAllaah see a dietitian or a nutritionist, they can help you with losing the weight in a healthy way. They can also help you keep it off and by following a very healthy routine, you can also become a more healthier person.

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[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUCALEKUM jawrah i am not underweight i wish i was thin i used to be thin and then i tried eating healthy and putted on weight. anon i dont want to gain loosing weight healthy means i have to be stuck with my body for a long time. as it takes time. i hate that. but thanx. ameena i know i hate it is a vicious cycle. i havent prayed for a long time because this is all i can think about twentyfour 7. i have nobody to talk to. WALEKUMSALAM

[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUCALEKUM jawrah i am not underweight i wish i was thin i used to be thin and then i tried eating healthy and putted on weight. anon i dont want to gain loosing weight healthy means i have to be stuck with my body for a long time. as it takes time. i hate that. but thanx. ameena i know i hate it is a vicious cycle. i havent prayed for a long time because this is all i can think about twentyfour 7. i have nobody to talk to. WALEKUMSALAM

Are you a sister? yu can talk 2 me

[chacha_jalebi]

well go to a dr or answer some questions for us

1 - how old are you, and 2 what is your weight and height...

most people who think they are fat, are not fat, and its just summin in their head, thats why im askin about your weight and stuff!

also, you have realised there is a problem which is the 1st step towards fixin somethin, like dont starve one day and then eat another, you put on more weight like that, believe it or not!

[AnonymousPoster]

i know how to restrict isha`allah i shouldnt put on weight in the past i was weak and gave in because my family was worried but i am different now.
i am 5ft3 and i am 8.6 stones+o( for my height i should be 7.5 max.
anon thank you is just complicated. i suck .

[Ayesha Rana]

yeah exactly. and if ur gonna mess up ur diet for a year and mess up ur health with it then u may as well do it properly and don't go givin up on praying cos that'll make the problem worse by makin u feel bad. Allah doesn't care about outward appearance. why not try fasting? that helps loads and gives u an excuse not to eat

[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUCALEKUM if i fast i know it be for weightloss not religion reasons, sis i dont think you get this..no offense, i know i shoudlnt stop praying this is something i need to go back to. i know allahswt doesnt care about my looks but my eating problem hasnt got a lot to do with food ahh forget it not many people wil get this.

[Woodrow]

Weight dysfunction is either the result of over/under eating. That is choice and may even be a sin if it leads to poor health.

However, most weight problems are not by choice but are either a metabolic disorder or an eating disorder. both are a medical and not A morality issue.

See a doctor, there is hope and both are treatable.

My Du3as are for you dear Ukhti, may Allah(swt) grant you the strength and ability to seek the help you need.

[AnonymousPoster]

thank you

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

i know how to restrict isha`allah i shouldnt put on weight in the past i was weak and gave in because my family was worried but i am different now.
i am 5ft3 and i am 8.6 stones+o( for my height i should be 7.5 max.
anon thank you is just complicated. i suck .

Your Body Mass Index (BMI) is in the normal range. For someone 5feet 3 inches, 120 pounds (=8.6 stones), your BMI is 21.3. Normal weight = 18.5-24.9 BMI. You're overweight if your BMI is over 25.0 and obese if over 30.0. You're no where near those numbers.

See here: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

I think your stressing too much. Let it go, eat normally, exercise regularly, and you should be fine :)

[Ayesha Rana]

hey i understand u want to be beautiful. There's nothing wrong with that. But you could fast instead of just starving cos it's healthier and don't let the 'it's not for Allah' put u off cos it's good training and it's doing a good deed that you chose fasting the islamic way to lose weight than by just not eating. Besides it is for Allah cos u'll have to fulfill ur other obligations too like praying and that will please Him Insha'Allah


Huuuuuuuuuu whaaa...!?!?!?!?

sorry im slow i just read those two posts...
is that ur weight?
who are you kidding? lol!

ur not fat at all!!!!

gosh! If u feel fat you just need excercise to tone up-dont go losing weight u'll become skin and bone!!!!
right u just need a good smack lol! i'm kiddin. ur fine the way u r. and YOU ARE NOT FAT! Gettit?

[AnonymousPoster]

^your right sis i will do so IshA`allah.

[AnonymousPoster]

the bmi thing is weird i wish you could see me then you will understand. i appreciate your replies and advice i will not see a doctor i am going to start fasting tomorrow. thank you 4 your help.

[kwolney01]

We all have issues we have to deal with but we must understand that Allah is the only one that will help us.

We all want to be healthy and look a certain way, but sometimes it doesn't happen. It's not so important if your not at the weight "you should be or think you need to be" its more important that you are healthy. Being healthy is the most important thing, everyone is shaped different and every ones body reacts to food in different ways. Some people gain weight quickly while others don't. You should find a equal balance between food and exercise. You just might be genetically a lil bigger then some people.

We all have issues we need to deal with and having it be your weight is really hard. I think a lot of women have issues with their weight, due to family, or the media or just poor self image. You shouldn't have to feel bad about yourself if you don't look a certain way sister. Please don't stop pray, praying to Allah for support and guidance is key.

Allah is the only one that can guide us, without him there is nothing.

I think the best thing to do would be to talk to a professional about it or just a close friend who can help you sort out your issues with your weight. We are not perfect we all have issues, sometimes we just let them overcome us.

Sister I hope you find the help you need, and I hope you stay healthy. Keep praying and stay strong sister!!

I wish you the best!!

Salaams :D

[BNDGR]

ASALAMUCALEKUM if i fast i know it be for weightloss not religion reasons, sis i dont think you get this..no offense, i know i shoudlnt stop praying this is something i need to go back to. i know allahswt doesnt care about my looks but my eating problem hasnt got a lot to do with food ahh forget it not many people wil get this.

Wa alaikum salam,
InshaAllah I hope things will get easier for you soon. I can say I kindof understand, I am really concerned about what I eat too, not so much now as before, I used to be really obsessed about not eating in order to not gain weight. Even though I know and you know that self esteem shouldn't be wrapped up in our outward appearance, it is hard not to let it be that way.
Please open up to someone you can trust since it is really not a healthy way to life your life. For me it was a control issue, everything else in my life was out of my control so I chose to make food my control issue. It sounds wierd but that's just how it was. This might not be it for you but whatever it is it most likely is not the food that is the issue?? right?
I really hope that Allah makes things easier for you and gives you the strenght to open up to someone who could help you to feel better.

[coddles76]

Asalam Alykum,

My advice will be simple but quite clear enough to hopefully enhance a change in thought. Firstly your body is only a garment to your everlasting soul which will last forever. So your main goal is purifying your inner everlasting body and which you must protect from Evil. Secondly your body has been given to you to look after health wise so continue to strive in its health and practice the things that will keep it healthy. If that means seeing doctor then do it, if it means Eating healthy food regularly with a healthy fitness program them do it and don't delay. Be firm against your desires and fight back till your happy with your health both internally and externally.

[Ali.]

i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.

WaAlaykumAssalam,

I'm surprised at your negative thinking, that is very negative thinking indeed, (s)he's not there to laugh at you but cure you and help you. Let's look on the dark side, even if (s)he does laugh at you, what will happen? Sure, you'll be embarrassed but for a few sessions. But what if you're cured after that? You could be happier for the rest of your life...

But that's not the case. It is extremely unlikely that the doctor will laugh at you... I highly recommend you see one, as they seeing you personally would probably enable them to give better advice to you than us by reading your post. :)

[Ushae]

This sounds like a imbalance in your hormone levels. To bog it down for you thre is a 'hunger hormone' in our bodies that is produced at regular intervals. Some people are unfortunatel enough to be born with either too much or too little of this. Hence we get anorexia/obesity. BUT its something that can be corrected with a fair amount of effort.

I've have read many case studies where anoriexic people regained balance in theior diet and vice versa with obese people.

You need to exercise control on your eating habits. It's not something that will happen over a week or even a month. My best advice is to combine dieting with 'intense' exercise. I myself very recently did a training regimen involving sparse dieting (note I didn't starve myself) and prolongued exercise. I lost my gut and formed most of my six pack as a result =)

It was very difficult, the most important thing to note it that you need to be consistent with this regimen. If you lose it you will never get slim. IF you have teh will (and I believe everyone does) you can do it.

Doctors will never laugh at you. They are there to help you no matter what your ailment is. There is a presubscribed drug taht can inhibit the 'hunger' hormone and help with your eating habits.

I hope this advice helps somehow.

[Ushae]

P.S. Are you a boy or a girl ? (Don't answer if you feel uncomfortable)

[The Khan]

:sl:

I used to be 125 KG in the past, and I'm currently 84. I am 6 feet tall. I went on a variety of diets, such as Atkins, but ended up putting the weight back on immediately. Here's how I lost my weight:

Cut my food intake by 50%. Muhammed (SAW) recommended that one should keep the stomach 1/3rd filled with food, 1/3rd with water, and 1/3rd empty. Also, this is my personal recommendation: Make your food 1/3rd carbohydrates, 1/3rd vegetables, 1/3rd meat. Eat 3 small meals everyday. Avoid sugar. Eat fruits low in sugar yet high in vitamins such as papaya only, in mediocre amounts (around 1/4th of an average sized papaya).

Exercise for one hour a day (weights), and 10 minutes cardio (cycle). Jog for 15 minutes if you can, I recommend a natural jogging track instead of a treadmill. That's all you need, and inshallah, you shall lose an average of 3-5 kilos a month depending on your metabolism.

:w:

[Ayesha Rana]

a girl of course why wud a guy care about his weight-it'd be about muscles...i think. well i dunno actually. erm an i hope that doesn't offend u... *confused*


good advice and the atkins diet is dumb and totally wrecks ur liver-i know a few people hu have been on it. it made their face look like bone with skin stretched over it-not pretty.

[The Khan]

Guys do care about their weight, a LOT. It depends on the person. Some want to get into relationships. Others want to be healthy. Others don't really care about being obese.

[aadil77]

i know how to restrict isha`allah i shouldnt put on weight in the past i was weak and gave in because my family was worried but i am different now.
i am 5ft3 and i am 8.6 stones+o( for my height i should be 7.5 max.
anon thank you is just complicated. i suck .

my 8 year old brother is about 4ft8 and he weighs about 6.5 stones and he's not fat, so do you actually look fat or thick boned or kind of built? because you don't sound overweight at all

salam

[yasin ibn Ahmad]

Inshallah Allah swt will help to overcome this problem.We make dua for you

[AnonymousPoster]

ASALAMUCALEKUM i am a girl. btw. ushae i can get medication that will supress my hunger? i dont think i be entitled to it because i have a **healthy** bmi apparently. i dont do diets like atkins restrictings works ok. seriously i feel better already. i hope allahswt answer all ur dua.

[dilkadr]

ASALAMUC CALEKUM I am new to this forum my dear friend adviced me to post here for help. i am in need of dua. i am 18 and sick and tired of life everyday is the same routine eat, be sick eat again starve the next day. my family is always on my case when i loose weight as arabs all they do is shout they dont understand what i am going through. I had an eating disorder for a year now and i truly dont see a way out. i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.
i am practising and i cant pray i cant think i all think about is food ..food..calories..food again i hate this cycle is ruining my life. i believe i am a lost cause. but if u have time you know and your nothing much then just plzz make dua a miracle might happen.WACALEKUMSALAM

:sl:

Kindly try to find the psychological reasons of this disorder as eating disorder are more psychological then physical...

Once you get the clue then you will easily over come it...

Mostly it is due to some sort of failure in personal life; like failure in love or romance...

Just investigate your heart what is hurting you most and try to understand that failure is not because of you but it is destined to happen in your life.

Try to live by the will of Allah

:w:

And Allah Knows Best

[The Khan]

I actually had a kind of eating disorder when I quit smoking, for 6 months. Would feel hungry every 3 hours. Fasting is the best solution, IMHO.

[S_87]

ur not fat at all. Its not nice being a bag of bones, some meat is good. :)

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum and welcome to the forum

ASALAMUC CALEKUM I am new to this forum my dear friend adviced me to post here for help. i am in need of dua. i am 18 and sick and tired of life everyday is the same routine eat, be sick eat again starve the next day. i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.

Actually this is very common, it's called "bulimia nervosa". And you're not alone. Any good doctor should know about this.

my family is always on my case when i loose weight as arabs all they do is shout they dont understand what i am going through. I had an eating disorder for a year now and i truly dont see a way out.

Eating disorders are often the result of some trauma or unattended psychological problem, all the more reason for you to seek professional help.

i am practising and i cant pray i cant think i all think about is food ..food..calories..food again i hate this cycle is ruining my life. i believe i am a lost cause. but if u have time you know and your nothing much then just plzz make dua a miracle might happen.WACALEKUMSALAM

Don't wait on a miracle, be the miracle!

Some other advice:
1) Eat according to the sunnah:

Wash your hands before taking your meals. It is keeping with the rules of cleanliness and neatness that your mind should be satisfied about the cleanliness of your hands before starting the meal.
Before you start your meal, Say (Bismilla hirrahhama nirrahim)
Should you forget this, then say (Bismillahi avaluhu va aa khiru hu)
As soon as you realize the oversight during the meal. Remember, the meal which is not consecrated by the Name of Allah is made lawful by the devil for himself.
Do not lean against anything when sitting down for a meal. Sit in a humble position with your knees raised or legs crossed or with one knee prostrate and the other one raised. The Holy Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to sit for meals. in this posture.
Always eat with your right hand. However, the left hand may be used simultaneously with the right hand, if needed.
Use three fingers while eating. If required, use four fingers except the little finger. Do not put your fingers in the food up to their roots.
Do not take a big morsel, nor a small one. Put the second morsel into your mouth only after swallowing the first one.
Do not wipe your fingers with bread. This is a filthy habit.
Avoid brushing off the loaves and refrain from knocking them about also.
Eat out of the plate from the edge which is nearest to you. Do not put your hand in the middle of the plate nor extend your hand to eat from that edge of the plate which is nearer to other diners.
If the morsel drops from your hands pick it up and eat it after cleaning or washing it.
Eat in company. Dining in company promotes cordiality and love and is a source of blessing.
Do not find fault with the food. Leave it if you don't like it.
Do not eat while the food is piping hot or simmering.
Avoid breaking into guffaws or indulging in too much conversation during dinner.
Do not sniff the food needlessly, It is bad habit. Do not often open your mouth so wide during dinner that the other people may see the food you are munching between your teeth, nor should you pick your teeth repeatedly in the course of eating. The other diners will find this habit disgusting.
Sit Down to eat and sit down also while taking a drink of water.
If some soup is left over in the plate, drink it ; otherwise clear the sediments from the plate with a finger and lick the finger.
Do not blow on the articles of food. The breath that we exhale is polluted and poisonous.
Take three breathing pauses while drinking water and recite Bismillah before hand each time. By this method you can drink according to your need and get full satisfaction. Beware, drinking all the water three is in the container in one breath may be harmful.
While eating in company pay due regard to the needs of the slow diners as well as those who eat at a rapid pace and rise only when all others have stopped eating.
When you have finished eating, lick your fingers and then wash your hands.
Do not pick up two pieces or slices at once time while eating fruit.
Do not drink water from the spout of a water pot or a goblet etc. Drink from such a container that you may clearly see the water that you are pouring into your mouth on order that no filth harmful substance goes into your stomach.
Say this prayer at the end of the meal :
dua to read when eating (Alhamdu lillahil-ladhi at'amana wa saqana wa ja'alana min-al-Muslimin)

Don't underestimate these. They will help. A simple thing like the position you sit in will change the volume of your stomach and over time will decrease the size your stomach itself! All of these rules of the sunnah should help.

2) Also don't be to strict in dieting. If you overdo it, then you will only relapse worse. The only way to do it right is with a lot of patience and little by little.
3) The only way to make diets work on long term and make them last is by combining them with physical exercise.

May Allah subhana wa ta'ala help you.

Edit: at first I didn't know what to make of "5ft3 and i am 8.6 stones" since I use the metric system. But after converting it, I have to say, sister you're not overweighted at all!
If you calculate your BMI (body mass index) you score a ratio of 21.3 where:
# Underweight = <18.5
# Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
# Overweight = 25-29.9

So you're smack in the middle of normal weight, meaning you have the perfect weight for your height!

(You can calculate it for yourself here if you don't believe me.)

[Ushae]

ASALAMUCALEKUM i am a girl. btw. ushae i can get medication that will supress my hunger? i dont think i be entitled to it because i have a **healthy** bmi apparently. i dont do diets like atkins restrictings works ok. seriously i feel better already. i hope allahswt answer all ur dua.

Ahhh, if the doctor says you have a healthy BMI then I highly doubt he will give you suppresants to control your eating habits. It sounds like the problem is much more a state of mind, than a physiological hormone (bodily) problem. There is nothing serious to owrry about, almost everyone goes through a weight issue at some point in their life, you are not alone ^^

It isn't simply a dieting or 'atkins' plan. When I started I didn't use those 'oh so good' regimens, I literally created it myslef and changed it to fit me. If it was too tough I'd go easy on myself, if it was too easy I'd make things more difficult. If dieting doesn't suit try rigorous exercise. Start off gentle at first and increase the length/difficulty of the exercise you choose. You will get there eventually and be proud of yourself when you have achieved gains/loss (as I was!). Where there is a will there most certainly a way...

Set yourself a goal and go for it! It's much like namaz, you have to have the desire and willpower to do it. You can never really force it onto someone. I have faith you will be able to it.

[AnonymousPoster]

Thank you ushea, dikadr yes it has little to do with looks people sometime think i am very vain but is not about achieving body beautiful i just failed everything i wanted to do in life, i feel controlled all the time i love pleasing other people advicing them helping them when i concentrate on my weight it takes my mind away from the failure that i am. food is what i control or more like my lack of control.

[Ushae]

If it's an issue of looks, then your solution is simple. Change your expectations of the people that you meet. We live in a very cruel society that makes first judgement of us based on how attractive we are. I've never had this problem too badly but I have seen others go through it, and it disgusts me. If people are judging you solely based on your appearance/race/religion then they simply aren't worth your attention.

Don't ever tell yourself you are unattractive, becuase everyone has a different version of 'pretty'. One man's beautiful could be anothers ugly...

Ask yourself do you want a husband in your life who loves you for looks, or your personality, maybe both ? Patience is a virtue =) Be happy with yourself, set yourself goals and achieve them. Become the woman you want to be, don't let your insitincts rule you.

Inshallah you will be fine,
Usman

[AnonymousPoster]

Thank you thats true, people are very very judgemental but i dont care that much about them i have to work on myself unless someone has been through any kind of eating disorder then i am not sure they will understand it properly trust me it like i said it has little to do with looks thank you again.

[Yanal]

:sl:
How much do you way?
Don't be angry my Uncle in Pakistian was 150pounds and due to lack of food has a stomach diesease that made him 50 pounds.

[جوري]

ASALAMUC CALEKUM I am new to this forum my dear friend adviced me to post here for help. i am in need of dua. i am 18 and sick and tired of life everyday is the same routine eat, be sick eat again starve the next day. my family is always on my case when i loose weight as arabs all they do is shout they dont understand what i am going through. I had an eating disorder for a year now and i truly dont see a way out. i am very embaressed to go to a doctor because he will look at me and laugh because i am fat. fat people dont get anorexia.
i am practising and i cant pray i cant think i all think about is food ..food..calories..food again i hate this cycle is ruining my life. i believe i am a lost cause. but if u have time you know and your nothing much then just plzz make dua a miracle might happen.WACALEKUMSALAM

:sl:

I don't understand your logic at all as to why a doctor will laugh at you for being fat and having an anorexic problem at the same time? that is very odd.. considering many obese people are indeed mal-nourished.. a person might be 300pds end up with a small cell ca. lose 40pds and to most people be still considered obese but to a doctor cachectic for many a reasons beyond the purpose of this thread!

I think in fact you need to see a doctor preferably an endocrinologist and a dietitian-- most endocrinologists have dietitians and podiatrist in their office anyhow on the account that many diabetics have problems in both those dept.

If the problem is beyond what any member on the forum can advise, I do indeed suggest you see a professional..

May Allah swt make your affairs easy on you!

:w:

[Liberty]

awww.
Please don't despair, self-loathing doesn't help, ever.
We're all imperfect and sadly most of us seek to improve the outside appearance moreso than the inner.

I suggest you talk to a doctor about this.
If you're starving yourself and you can't stop then you need to confide in a doctor or at least a friend first :)