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Najm
10-13-2008, 01:01 PM
Auzubillahi-Minash shaitwaanir rajeem. Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Marrying Mr. Right!

Your relationship with Mr. Right (or Mrs. Right) should be based on:

  • Forgiveness. No one is perfect, so there will be disagreements from time to time. Both partners will inevitably do or say something that upsets the other. You cannot go crying back to your parents every time something goes wrong.
  • If you really thought carefully before marrying and ensured he or she had all the qualities you need, and you prayed Istikharah (Arabic for: supplication for guidance in making a decision) before making the decision, then you have married the right person. So that's not a question anymore
  • When trouble happens, it is time to make this marriage work and draw on all those positive qualities that you know you both have.
  • Love. This is the quality that most people focus on. Love is something that grows as the relationship develops and deepens. It grows out of honesty, respect, harmony, forgiveness, and excellent communication from both sides.
  • The sparks of love should exist before the couple marry. When they do, be sure that if the behavior from both parties is good, it will grow into tenderness and love. It is this feeling that makes the couple want to be together.
  • Honesty. To bond the relationship between you and your to-be spouse, your dealings with him or her should be based on truthfulness.
  • There should be so much openness between both parties that you can share anything and say anything and be sure you will be respected and understood.
  • Telling lies and twisting the truth puts a wedge between you, and this spells doom to the relationship.
  • Compassion. If a couple are really close, each feels what the other is feeling. One of them would never laugh when the other cries, or go out to have fun when the other is ill.


FiAmaaniAllah


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Sahabiyaat
10-13-2008, 01:12 PM
i think im going to have a problem with the last one ^o)

i always end up laughing when someone is trying to be serious, :X:D
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------
10-13-2008, 01:13 PM
:salamext:

Nice one bro.
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Güven
10-13-2008, 01:16 PM
:sl:

this sounds soo easy :hmm:

Thanks for sharing bro :thumbs_up

:w:
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Re.TiReD
10-13-2008, 01:18 PM
:wasalamex

JazakAllah khayr akhee
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TrueStranger
10-13-2008, 02:43 PM
Mr. Who???





I Kid I Kid

Nice one.
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truemuslim
10-13-2008, 02:47 PM
jazakallah khair

unfortunoutly ...
Warning: This is a negative by truemuslim...again...
this is really hard....unexisting...impossible...to last forever, or even a minute



hmm....:-[ :D
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FatimaAsSideqah
10-13-2008, 02:49 PM
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Nice article, Jazaak'Allah Khair akhi.
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Periwinkle18
10-13-2008, 02:53 PM
JazakAllah for sharing akhi.
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S_87
10-13-2008, 09:58 PM
jazakAllah khair
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Cabdullahi
10-13-2008, 10:04 PM
peace of cake
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kwolney01
10-13-2008, 10:06 PM
Everyone should follow these when they are with someone. This is the foundation of a good relationship without this there is nothing.

A lot of people should think of this before they get married or divorced.
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Najm
02-04-2009, 03:26 PM
Originally Posted by Güven
:sl:

this sounds soo easy :hmm:

Thanks for sharing bro :thumbs_up

:w:
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Easier said then done ahki!!!

FiAmaaniAllah
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alcurad
02-04-2009, 03:41 PM
hmm, the marriage threads era..
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Yanal
02-04-2009, 03:41 PM
JazakAllah but isn't this thread too old to post in it?
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*Yasmin*
02-04-2009, 03:54 PM
Originally Posted by Najm
You cannot go crying back to your parents every time something goes wrong.
i know someone, who once went back to her parents crying just to see how much her husband loves her. :smile:

May Allah grant all the muslims the "jewel"<< "mr./mrs. right.
ameen

btw. thanks for the thread , jazaka Allahu 5yran
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aysegul
02-04-2009, 04:12 PM
What if ı m Miss Wrong for Mr.Right:D?

I dont believe love is not the only thing in this kind of relationships.There must be greenback as well:)

Thanks 4 sharing :P
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crayon
02-04-2009, 04:17 PM
Mr. Right is a myth.
So is Mrs. Right.

I prefer reality, where both people have flaws, and yet they still care for each other and manage to live happily.

But yeah, those are good guidelines for dealing with anyone really, not necessarily your spouse..
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AhlaamBella
02-04-2009, 04:18 PM
^^ I agree.

Having flaws = the opportunity to compromise. Isn't that what marriage is all about?
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IbnAbdulHakim
02-04-2009, 05:23 PM
Originally Posted by *Yasmin*
i know someone, who once went back to her parents crying just to see how much her husband loves her. :smile:
....WAT? :|


WAAAT? :|



i hope we're saved from wives who would test us like this

AMEEN YA RAB
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Intisar
02-04-2009, 05:32 PM
:w: I think it's really stupid how some people spend their whole lives looking for ''Mr.Right'' when ''Mr.Right Now'' is right there in front of them and they had an opportunity to just fulfill a sunnah practise. :rolleyes:
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crayon
02-04-2009, 05:37 PM
I'm not even going to bother looking for "Mr. Right", I'm going to look for "Mr. Right For Me"..:statisfie
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*Yasmin*
02-04-2009, 07:21 PM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
....WAT? :|


WAAAT? :|



i hope we're saved from wives who would test us like this

AMEEN YA RAB

lol, you didn't see anything, not yet :smile: this is the cutest thing u can handle with
women r clever creatures don't u think!:peace:
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IbnAbdulHakim
02-04-2009, 08:04 PM
Originally Posted by Ameena*
:w: I think it's really stupid how some people spend their whole lives looking for ''Mr.Right'' when ''Mr.Right Now'' is right there in front of them and they had an opportunity to just fulfill a sunnah practise. :rolleyes:
nah forget mr right or "mr right" now, just find that "mr sunnah" n get the job done


also people need to learn the dunya aint got perfect people, u gotta live with the flaws


remember the hadith, if you find something you dislike, then find something you like to cover it !
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Muezzin
02-04-2009, 09:52 PM
Originally Posted by *Yasmin*
i know someone, who once went back to her parents crying just to see how much her husband loves her. :smile:
Is that smiley ironic?

I bloody well hope I don't end up with someone like that.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
02-04-2009, 10:00 PM
Originally Posted by crayon
I'm not even going to bother looking for "Mr. Right", I'm going to look for "Mr. Right For Me"..:statisfie
Exactly!! I wish more people would think like this. There isn't a Mr. or Mrs. Perfect out there, nor is there an ideally 'best' person. The person who's right for you is the best person for you.
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AhlaamBella
02-04-2009, 10:10 PM
The words "don't straighten the bent rib" come to mind. . .

I suppose the same goes for the flaws of the man
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 10:47 AM
Originally Posted by Muezzin
Is that smiley ironic?

I bloody well hope I don't end up with someone like that.
no, not ironic, because i'm finding the situation funny
i don't know why are you bloody though

by the way, the woman i'm talking about got married based in love, and she & her husband have beautiful life , Mashaa' Allah, but it's a cool test from my view of point.

what the wrong in that?
i'm not saying i'll test my husband, but don't you think it's not a big deal if that happend?!
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AhlaamBella
02-05-2009, 11:49 AM
Sis, a stunt like that may cause disruption in the marriage. It is stressful and upsetting for the husband, the parents, children if there are any. It seems to me the only one laughing is the wife.
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 11:58 AM
^^ the test was in there first months of marriage
you are right ,but i don't see that there is any thing wrong if it was in the right place and time

sidenote: she wasn't testing the "trust issue"..
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AhlaamBella
02-05-2009, 12:03 PM
I have to disagree. If it was the right place and time, was the husband then aware of his wife's intentions? If he was then it completely defeats the object anyway.

Also, first months of marriage are a very delicate time. The seed of the love and care between them is just beginning to grow. Therefore could have had drastic consequences should that delicacy have been jeopardised

Finally, I didn't question the issue at hand, be it trust or anything else. It still isn't right
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 03:16 PM
^^ u convinced me

ma coming..husband(In shaa' Allah) will make for u du'aa although i didn't think in testing him anyway, thank u for twisting ma thinking in da whole issue:rollseyes
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AhlaamBella
02-05-2009, 03:22 PM
Hmm. . . do I detect sarcasm or am I just being sceptical? :)
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Najm
02-05-2009, 03:25 PM
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I hope sisters dont test like that, it will always lead to bigger problems. Theres so many other ways of showing ones love!!

Regarding the article, its clear that not no-one is perfect yet with all the flaws within a person, makes them more real, more MR/S Right.

MR/S Right, is the person you want. People have different personalities, so MR/S Right, is the one that is right for you, the one that is close-to-perfectly compatible with you! :statisfie

Theses are some of the bases that people should have give or take, no-one is perfect hence we must learn to forgive. Some people prefer to be more compassion than be complete honesty:rollseyes

All in all, see your own personality and make it compatible to you, and thats MR/S Right!!!

Lets not all go looking for an Angel, they are all in heaven....

FiAmaaniAllah
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AhlaamBella
02-05-2009, 03:27 PM
Good point ^^^
:thumbs_up
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 03:30 PM
where is da sarcasm sis ?!

all wht i said, is that u convinced me in the issue , indeeeeed
and about ma comin husband ,i was just kiddin wid u , that he'll make duaa' for u cause u twist ma thinking so i'll never think in testin him!

soo?

anyway, am sorry if it sounds something else
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AhlaamBella
02-05-2009, 03:34 PM
I was only being playful sis :) I am not used to people changing their opinion so drastically :)

No harm intended :)
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 03:40 PM
^^ i'm young :) ,i can change ma thoughts easily :)
excluding changing ma religion In Shaa' Allah .. May Allah guide us always for the right path Ameen
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Najm
02-05-2009, 03:45 PM
Originally Posted by *Yasmin*
^^ i'm young :) ,i can change ma thoughts easily :)
excluding changing ma religion In Shaa' Allah .. May Allah guide us always for the right path Ameen
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Ameen.!

Alhamdulillah, change for the better...:statisfie

FiAmaaniAllah
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Muezzin
02-05-2009, 04:05 PM
Originally Posted by *Yasmin*
no, not ironic, because i'm finding the situation funny
i don't know why are you bloody though

by the way, the woman i'm talking about got married based in love, and she & her husband have beautiful life , Mashaa' Allah, but it's a cool test from my view of point.
From my point of view, it's sadistic passive aggression.

But, different strokes for different folks.

what the wrong in that?
It can cause the man emotional harm, for no particular reason, other than his wife, his dearly beloved partner and bestest friend in the whole wide world, wanted to 'test' his love by tricking him into thinking he's in trouble with the in-laws.

However, I don't know the full details of your friend's marriage, so I can't comment on that. I can comment on the way this 'test' business appeared to me from your message.

i'm not saying i'll test my husband, but don't you think it's not a big deal if that happend?!
I'm saying if that happened to me, we wouldn't be husband and wife for very long.
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*Yasmin*
02-05-2009, 04:28 PM
From my point of view, it's sadistic passive aggression.

oh my God , pls don't call the police << (just kiddin)

i got ur point Brother
and i've already changed my thinking .. if u notice my posts in the thread

However, I don't know the full details of your friend's marriage, so I can't comment on that. I can comment on the way this 'test' business appeared to me from your message.
got ur point

noteside: aunt of ma friend , not ma friend
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youngsister
02-05-2009, 04:40 PM
:sl:

Masha Allah good topic.

I cant stand people who moan and cry to their parents about their marriage problems,
all you doing is causing conflict between your family and your spouse.

No marriage is perfect there are always some problems, Allah swt does indeed test us so the best thing is to resolve them and behave like an adult.

Plus...I wouldnt personally want to reveal to my family my husband bad points, I wouldnt want him to do it to me.
:w:
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Muezzin
02-05-2009, 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by *Yasmin*
oh my God , pls don't call the police << (just kiddin)

i got ur point Brother
and i've already changed my thinking .. if u notice my posts in the thread
That's a-ok. :thumbs_up

got ur point

noteside: aunt of ma friend , not ma friend
Okay. I can get pretty judgmental, so I apologise if I offended you or insulted your friend's aunt with my ranting.
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Najm
02-08-2009, 04:22 PM
Originally Posted by Yanal
JazakAllah but isn't this thread too old to post in it?
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Old is gold buddy *Following my threads*

I love Abu Sayad's comment "The person who's right for you is the best person for you." MarshaAllah!!

:bump1:

FiAmaaniAllah
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
02-08-2009, 05:35 PM
Originally Posted by Najm


AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I love Abu Sayad's comment "The person who's right for you is the best person for you." MarshaAllah!!

:w:

The origin of that statement is from Sh. Yaser Birjas. :)
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sevgi
02-08-2009, 05:54 PM
Originally Posted by Najm


I love Abu Sayad's comment "The person who's right for you is the best person for you." MarshaAllah!!


...I thought that was common sense? Hmm...

Marriage is marriage. The more you think about it, the less special it becomes.

Tawakkul and patience. There's a recipe for finding the right person.

Instead of focusing on finding or allocating our Mr. and Mrs. Rights, why don't we focus on becoming Mr. and Mrs. Right...?

If you are preoccupied with yourself and focused on becoming the best you that you can be in every possible field, it is highly unlikely that bad people will be drawn to you. You will attract those who are like minded...you will be surrounded by positive people who, by chance of six degrees of separation, just might know or be your Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Yes. Indeed.

ws.
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Ummu Sufyaan
02-09-2009, 07:22 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by sevgi

Instead of focusing on finding or allocating our Mr. and Mrs. Rights, why don't we focus on becoming Mr. and Mrs. Right...?

If you are preoccupied with yourself and focused on becoming the best you that you can be in every possible field, it is highly unlikely that bad people will be drawn to you. You will attract those who are like minded...you will be surrounded by positive people who, by chance of six degrees of separation, just might know or be your Mr. or Mrs. Right.
good point! :thumbs_up:thumbs_up:thumbs_up
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uzaman901
02-10-2009, 11:27 AM
nice advice. Jazzakhala.


www.campusalam.org.
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MO783
02-10-2009, 11:49 AM
:sl:

Yes nice, now that hard bit finding the person

:(
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uzaman901
02-10-2009, 12:03 PM
If you are at university and want to bring the problem of finding a partner to the attention of the community, then maybe you and few friends together can arrange an event on your campus.

I work with www.campusalam.org, we are looking to help Muslim students who have great ideas for events to put them on at their university.

ws.
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Najm
02-10-2009, 08:33 PM
Originally Posted by MO783
:sl:

Yes nice, now that hard bit finding the person

:(
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Tie the camel, AND place your faith in Allah Subhaana WaTaala.

FiAmaaniAllah
Reply

AhlaamBella
02-10-2009, 09:17 PM
Originally Posted by Najm


Tie the camel, AND place your faith in Allah Subhaana WaTaala.

Brilliant words :thumbs_up
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Cabdullahi
02-10-2009, 11:09 PM
there is no mr right!
Reply

Najm
02-11-2009, 08:00 AM
Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
there is no mr right!
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Of course there is!!!! There always is. Its ones perspective.

Im going to look for Miss Right, until then, im going to try my best to make myself Mr. Right. :-[

If you want the best, you got be the best!! :rollseyes

FiAmaaniAllah
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sevgi
02-11-2009, 08:04 AM
Originally Posted by Najm
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Of course there is!!!! There always is. Its ones perspective.

Im going to look for Miss Right, until then, im going to try my best to make myself Mr. Right. :-[

If you want the best, you got be the best!! :rollseyes

FiAmaaniAllah
Is your name pronounced 'Naym'? Like bosnian style?
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Ummu Sufyaan
02-11-2009, 08:12 AM
Originally Posted by Najm
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Of course there is!!!! There always is. Its ones perspective.

Im going to look for Miss Right, until then, im going to try my best to make myself Mr. Right. :-[

If you want the best, you got be the best!! :rollseyes

FiAmaaniAllah
be warned akhee, she doesn't exsist...
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Pomak
02-11-2009, 08:26 AM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
be warned akhee, she doesn't exsist...
Don't be such a pessimist.
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crayon
02-11-2009, 08:34 AM
Originally Posted by Pomak
Don't be such a pessimist.
It's not pessimism, it's realism!
No one is absolutely perfect, the sooner both men and women accept that, the better.
As for having someone "perfect for you", then that's a completely different issue..
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Ummu Sufyaan
02-11-2009, 08:43 AM
:sl:
^yeah jazakillahu khair, thats what i meant!
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Najm
02-11-2009, 08:48 AM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
be warned akhee, she doesn't exsist...
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Mr/Miss Right is ones perception uhkti. Everyone looks for different characters in a person. Some want strongman, or a practicing muslim, so look for people with high status. Some like certain habits then others.

Perfection is what one believes to be perfect.

Have a read what i wrote at Post #34 uhkti.

FiAmaaniAllah
Reply

Pomak
02-11-2009, 09:09 AM
Originally Posted by crayon
It's not pessimism, it's realism!
No one is absolutely perfect, the sooner both men and women accept that, the better.
As for having someone "perfect for you", then that's a completely different issue..
Mr or Ms Right=/= Mr or Ms Perfect.

Btw "realist" is the pessimist's way of justifying him (or her) pessimism. :P
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crayon
02-11-2009, 09:11 AM
Originally Posted by Pomak
Mr or Ms Right=/= Mr or Ms Perfect.

Btw "realist" is the pessimist's way of justifying him (or her) pessimism. :P
Well okay, if you distinguish between them.. A lot of the time people just use Mr/s Right and Mr/s Perfect interchangeably..

Lol, I'm not a pessimist!
In real life I'm actually ridiculously optimistic. To the point of foolishness.:X
But sometimes reality sets in..
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sevgi
02-11-2009, 11:22 AM
Originally Posted by Pomak

Btw "realist" is the pessimist's way of justifying him (or her) pessimism. :P
No it's not.
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Pomak
02-11-2009, 11:40 AM
Originally Posted by sevgi
No it's not.
My bad, its actually "pessimist in denial".
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Najm
02-11-2009, 11:43 AM
Originally Posted by crayon
Well okay, if you distinguish between them.. A lot of the time people just use Mr/s Right and Mr/s Perfect interchangeably..

Lol, I'm not a pessimist!
In real life I'm actually ridiculously optimistic. To the point of foolishness.:X
But sometimes reality sets in..
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Theres nothing wrong in setting your standards high, we should all strive to do the uppser most in anything.

And we should always try our best to search for Mr/Miss Right. And nothing really stops ourselves from being MR/Miss Right than our own selves

FiAmaaniAllah
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