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truemuslim
10-14-2008, 02:43 PM
hmm, who am i really?
i dunno, so u tell me

ima tell ya wat i kno
and we can give it a go

ima 15 year useless slave
i work for allah for the faith he gave
nd no i dont live in a cave (:?)

but yeh, 4 bedrooms, workin jus fine yo
me nd my homies, i always got the time fo

then i found a word n started the rhymes
later on i had 10 lines
my bro saw it nd said "dis lyk mines"

i got so happy coz he the best
he like nas, tupac nd all the rest

his rhymes reach the sky coz they so high
yeh im bein honest here, ther aint no lie
non u can beat him vs in the rhymes
compared to his urs aint worth dimes (...sorry..bein honest:p )

i was interested in poetry coz the music
but now i quit music nd gota quit the new sick (poetry)

i really just hate it
i think i mean it
ima be thru it
dont need ur help to do it
i think u need to loose it
'nuff said bout the po-et
'nuff said bout the tal-et (talennt!)
coz ima get right thru it
and that u knew it

i think poetry is long gon
poetry aint strong
u can say that im wrong
but ima keep goin on

but thats jus one opinion
theres still above the million
each on a golden stallion
so lets se wat all up n' in :D


____________________________-

hmm...

not meant fo offence when i said ur rhymes aint worth dimes compared to his, i were jus bein honest he like the big dude who if u get a compliment from him u should feel honooorrred! its like tupac complimenting soulja boys rap :rollseyes

he did se one of ibnabdulhakims rhymes once tho, nd said "dam thes are not bad"
which means u shud feel......honored
ur so lucky :p
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Güven
10-14-2008, 02:46 PM
Wow Bro ibnabdulhakim !! yo have to feel honoured now lol :p

naah not bad :D
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 02:47 PM
^ are they decent poems sis lol? your bros ones i mean

post some on LI if they halaal :p
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 02:52 PM
lol noway, half the words gonna be censored :( nd the other half will be bout him nd if the hood was a battlefield , he'd earn all the stripes , him bein a pharoah :rolleyes: etc...nothin useful
its jus sickkkk rhymes...

her e i some clean ones tho. ppl died over this one, nd this one isnt even the best :p

An old wizard in dirty clothes and a tall beard,
Says the first prince in 300 years is near.
He will reclaim the crown so make sure its clear.
Its time for me to go but hold my words dear,
Inside your hearts, the war is about to start.
He goes outside the door before he disappears.
The people in the room cant believe their ears,
The bartender almost spills the beer.
A grown man tells his son now,
Take this horse and ride to town,
Make sure the word is heard for miles around.
Prince _last name_ is back to reclaim the crown……


people literally died over this one........


A destroyed man, layin in the sand.
Traveled a long way, his destination was The Land.
But got caught in the crowds of screamin fans,
The world the better of him.
Meanwhile the king of the land, chillin with his mans,
And them. Mistreated many, so many people mad at them.
Made up for it, whenever they could, they treated em good.
A very mystical man, it was understood.
This nigga was the ruler of his hood.
The worlds quiet, you can hear the message when its silent,
In the middle of the night, when the earth and planets align.
Line it up with a distant planet.
An evil man created a bomb just to plant it.
A tank so advanced, nobody able to man it.
We given many warnings, listen close you'll understand it.
Men scarred from fallin too many times in the granite.
Human nature, we take everything for granted.
Where do we go when we pass?
Judgement for the sins, every stash, every thought of ass.
Every memory, future or past.
You can't change the future, the future changes you.
Your life is ahead of you, do with it what you do

yet still not the best ones!

he has a blog with them
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Na7lah
10-14-2008, 02:52 PM
pretty good :p
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 02:53 PM
^ lol now compare ours.
Reply

Na7lah
10-14-2008, 02:54 PM
yours are funnier lol
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 03:06 PM
the first one was good i found it hard to make out what the second one is saying to b honest


but still.. the first ones just shouting out..

MIND OUT!! IM THE DON AN IM COMIN




his styles really good though :D
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:06 PM
:rolleyes: right right
my brother deserves a whole forum for his rhymes
i jus found a million of them on his myspace nd he does got clean ones :p other than the ones up ther.

he calls him self "pharoah zack" nd when he becomes a rapper he is known as "pharoah zack" lol
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
the first one was good i found it hard to make out what the second one is saying to b honest


but still.. the first ones just shouting out..

MIND OUT!! IM THE DON AN IM COMIN




his styles really good though :D
LOL how do u not understand what he said in the second??
i should sho him ur post, nd he'll sort u out (not really) unfortunoutly he's half way around the world..........

ohhh he's online right now :Evil:
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 03:10 PM
^ dont u find dat scary tho,
that he wants to call himself pharoah :|



i dnno i use to be all into those typsa "im a big bad man don chek me im gnna b shootin niggahs" lyrics when i was 15 but it kinda gets immature innit?
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:11 PM
lol he's not 15, i am, he's 18, nd his rhymes aint all bout pharoah, thats jus his "name" :p its so gangsta, u wanna hear real rhymes of his?
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 03:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
lol he's not 15, i am, he's 18, nd his rhymes aint all bout pharoah, thats jus his "name" :p its so gangsta, u wanna hear real rhymes of his?
lol ok

lets see
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:23 PM
here i am, back again,
bout to kill da track again,
still got the Mack 10,
still got the black Benz,
with the fat rims, and the tints.
I buried my foes in Lake Erie,
no conspiracy theory,
but they destroyed those near me.
An older man's suffering,
i never really wanted it.
Without remorse, im gunnin em.
U think cuz i smile and joke now u know?
The hatred fills me,
i wish it would kill me.
Im twitchin like i got a seizure,
im livin hell on earth thats why i need you.
I see things like the sixth sense,
and try to make sense,
but it seems i'll never win,
Im facing ignorance,
and thats dominant to the end.
But look at me now,
now that im grown,
look what i own,
an upstate home,
and an iphone.
Streets littered with bones,


this isnt all of it, the rest is a bit..."**" ish so i rather not post it here :p


moore...

In school we used to fake fights,
I stayed awake nights.
I saw lights, flashin in the distance.
What do I see in my future for instance.
Trapped in our own thoughts,
A battle is won even before its fought.
Drama that they wanted so it was drama that I brought.
When we was kids, writing on sidewalks with chalk,
Till we was big, buy a new car and never leavin it stock.
[deleted bad parts]
My niggaz carry biscuits like Ritz,
We catch the snitch like Quidditch
And make him beg for death before we finish.
We didn't say it unless we meant it, get it.
Take my money from me nigga forget it.
Now we was young and we was dumb,
But we still had fun.
I remember my first gun.
I was only ten.
I came across many jealous men.
And many enemies.
Many wanna bury me, and many girls mad at me.
Many people doubted me,
Surrendered foes shoutin please,
While getting knockin out on their knees,
And getting killed in their sleep.
When u chillin with me, getting the work cheap,
Ridin like 50 deep, when its rainy.
You know me, I put you to sleep like rabies.
[deleted bad parts]


hmm...since he's online i should ask him if he could make something islamic in 5 minutes, lol he did once, its gone now :( somewher...lost.
Reply

Güven
10-14-2008, 03:26 PM
the first one was not soo bad but the second one , no comment...:X

yeah ask him , im interested what he would write :)
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 03:28 PM
his got talent... i can see that

but so far im not respecting a single poem :p i KNOW he can write one a million times better then me, but its gotta come from da heart wiv a good message...

i bet you hate me now :|
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:35 PM
lol no i dont hate u now
i agree

he writes some deep stuf bout life nd death, nd like respect to muslims nd bout terrorists nd how we aint them, nd all, but i think he took em off his blog coz i cant find em!! i think theyr buried inside the haram :(

lol guven no i can ask him for real i was messin, he would ask me how i kno his myspace :X i dont even got an account on it.
Reply

------
10-14-2008, 03:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
here i am, back again,
bout to kill da track again,
still got the mack 10,
still got the black benz,
with the fat rims, and the tints.
I buried my foes in lake erie,
no conspiracy theory,
but they destroyed those near me.
An older man's suffering,
i never really wanted it.
Without remorse, im gunnin em.
U think cuz i smile and joke now u know?
The hatred fills me,
i wish it would kill me.
Im twitchin like i got a seizure,
im livin hell on earth thats why i need you.
I see things like the sixth sense,
and try to make sense,
but it seems i'll never win,
im facing ignorance,
and thats dominant to the end.
But look at me now,
now that im grown,
look what i own,
an upstate home,
and an iphone.
Streets littered with bones,


this isnt all of it, the rest is a bit..."**" ish so i rather not post it here :p


moore...

in school we used to fake fights,
i stayed awake nights.
I saw lights, flashin in the distance.
What do i see in my future for instance.
Trapped in our own thoughts,
a battle is won even before its fought.
Drama that they wanted so it was drama that i brought.
When we was kids, writing on sidewalks with chalk,
till we was big, buy a new car and never leavin it stock.
[deleted bad parts]
my niggaz carry biscuits like ritz,
we catch the snitch like quidditch
and make him beg for death before we finish.
We didn't say it unless we meant it, get it.
Take my money from me nigga forget it.
Now we was young and we was dumb,
but we still had fun.
I remember my first gun.
I was only ten.
I came across many jealous men.
And many enemies.
Many wanna bury me, and many girls mad at me.
Many people doubted me,
surrendered foes shoutin please,
while getting knockin out on their knees,
and getting killed in their sleep.
When u chillin with me, getting the work cheap,
ridin like 50 deep, when its rainy.
You know me, i put you to sleep like rabies.
[deleted bad parts]


hmm...since he's online i should ask him if he could make something islamic in 5 minutes, lol he did once, its gone now :( somewher...lost.
omdaysthese r sik!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-14-2008, 03:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
lol no i dont hate u now
i agree

he writes some deep stuf bout life nd death, nd like respect to muslims nd bout terrorists nd how we aint them, nd all, but i think he took em off his blog coz i cant find em!! i think theyr buried inside the haram :(
mashaAllaah thats good, ask him innit to write something deep wiv a good islamic message n show us
lol guven no i can ask him for real i was messin, he would ask me how i kno his myspace :X i dont even got an account on it.
mashaAllaah it'd b best for you to keep it that way


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 03:43 PM
lol ahlaam, i kno! :p

format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
mashaAllaah thats good, ask him innit to write something deep wiv a good islamic message n show us

mashaAllaah it'd b best for you to keep it that way


Assalamu Alaikum
i never can contact him tho, when he calls he goes straight to talk to my other brother nd they start rhymin, :p till the phone card finishes nd he remembers his wife.

yeh i kno, myspace aint good for notin but stealin my brohters rhymes :p
Reply

wth1257
10-14-2008, 04:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
hmm, who am i really?
i dunno, so u tell me

ima tell ya wat i kno
and we can give it a go

ima 15 year useless slave
i work for allah for the faith he gave
nd no i dont live in a cave (:?)

but yeh, 4 bedrooms, workin jus fine yo
me nd my homies, i always got the time fo

then i found a word n started the rhymes
later on i had 10 lines
my bro saw it nd said "dis lyk mines"

i got so happy coz he the best
he like nas, tupac nd all the rest

his rhymes reach the sky coz they so high
yeh im bein honest here, ther aint no lie
non u can beat him vs in the rhymes
compared to his urs aint worth dimes (...sorry..bein honest:p )

i was interested in poetry coz the music
but now i quit music nd gota quit the new sick (poetry)

i really just hate it
i think i mean it
ima be thru it
dont need ur help to do it
i think u need to loose it
'nuff said bout the po-et
'nuff said bout the tal-et (talennt!)
coz ima get right thru it
and that u knew it

i think poetry is long gon
poetry aint strong
u can say that im wrong
but ima keep goin on

but thats jus one opinion
theres still above the million
each on a golden stallion
so lets se wat all up n' in :D


____________________________-

hmm...

not meant fo offence when i said ur rhymes aint worth dimes compared to his, i were jus bein honest he like the big dude who if u get a compliment from him u should feel honooorrred! its like tupac complimenting soulja boys rap :rollseyes

he did se one of ibnabdulhakims rhymes once tho, nd said "dam thes are not bad"
which means u shud feel......honored
ur so lucky :p
If you really like poetry you should study various poetic types in English.

Like read Beawulf, Shakespear, Poe, Dickenson, Milton etc.

you write good poetry but you seem to be fixed in a genre of kind of American hip hop sort of feel. Which is fine, like I said your poetry is good, however if you really want to be really go you might want to study these different routs so you can integrate more variety in your poetry.

I remember you have said you are from Yemen, is English your first language?

If not Beawulf and Shakespear would be very good for you to read, they are kind of the literary foundations of English so far as I know and they show how English works best in poetry. A friend of mine once said that English is "shallow" and that is true, compared to many language English is shallow and one must sail across it and the older English literary art can help you get a feel of the internal rythm of English which could help you with your poetry.

Nice Poem: )
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 04:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by wth1257
If you really like poetry you should study various poetic types in English.

Like read Beawulf, Shakespear, Poe, Dickenson, Milton etc.

you write good poetry but you seem to be fixed in a genre of kind of American hip hop sort of feel. Which is fine, like I said your poetry is good, however if you really want to be really go you might want to study these different routs so you can integrate more variety in your poetry.

I remember you have said you are from Yemen, is English your first language?

If not Beawulf and Shakespear would be very good for you to read, they are kind of the literary foundations of English so far as I know and they show how English works best in poetry. A friend of mine once said that English is "shallow" and that is true, compared to many language English is shallow and one must sail across it and the older English literary art can help you get a feel of the internal rythm of English which could help you with your poetry.

Nice Poem: )
Lol noway, shakespear, i hate him, everyone else, never even heard of em, never want to :D
i jus write freestyle, every single poem i've written i write it freestyle, nothings organized,

i dont really like poetry.
nd yeh arabic is my first language but my english is better :exhausted
poetry aint notin real,
but thanks :)
Reply

SixTen
10-14-2008, 06:42 PM
Yo, people need to detach themselves from "gangster" influences imo. Trust me sister, nothing good about gangs, or anything associated with them. They are not cool, they are about drugs, rape, murder and a lot of other horrible things.

I was worried with that poem anyway, about burying foes and gunnin and all that - you know, its whats wrong with the world. Too many people glorifying the gangster life - so you argue you don't mean anything wrong, but you are still on the wrong side of the battle.

Gangster"ism" = not where its at. Sadly, people get too influenced by R&B/rap, you know the haram music and stuff. I used to listen to such stuff when I was a teen and - growing up - I realise just how bad it is.

Don't feel offended sis, you are young, and it is my job, to lecture the youth!

So to sum up.

Ye I used to listen to that stuff when I was fifteen
But I have been cleansed Im living it clean
It had defined what I thought was cool and in
But as of now, I see it just contradicted the deen

The influences it spreads are of the devil
On the path to jannah, it has you falling behind a level
Like a disease it starts to affect your peers
Seriously, do you want this filth to be going into your siblings ears?

So, swallow your pride, and disengage yourself from the gangsta association
It does you no favours, really, theirs no negotiation
I won't lie Im amateur at the poem operation
But hopefully, I have made the message to your satisfaction :).
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 06:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by SixTen
Yo, people need to detach themselves from "gangster" influences imo. Trust me sister, nothing good about gangs, or anything associated with them. They are not cool, they are about drugs, rape, murder and a lot of other horrible things.

I was worried with that poem anyway, about burying foes and gunnin and all that - you know, its whats wrong with the world. Too many people glorifying the gangster life - so you argue you don't mean anything wrong, but you are still on the wrong side of the battle.

Gangster"ism" = not where its at.
you sayin "yo" was jus a bit... :muddlehea
Yeh i kno bro , i aint like that tho, im not "gangsta" , my brother was gettin reallly close to that, he'd go nd take paper roll it, nd burn the tip nd take a pic, looked like a cigar, or take dry qat nd mash it up nd say its weed, nothin real YET, then he got marrried, he's 18, nd he's livin happily ever after...........no money tho. :(
nd me, im jus not a "geek" or "ohioan" , my way of talkin, is ...detroitish, my way of typing, is txtish , my way of poeting, is gone-ish. :D

that buryin foes nd all is the ONE of the best poems i ever read , the way he rhymes is awesome, i jus hate wat he rhymes about. nd unfortunatly i cant talk to him to do better..........or else :skeleton:

nd btw its "gangstitity" not "gangsterism" :p


Jazakallah khair bro :-[
Reply

SixTen
10-14-2008, 06:55 PM
Ah, I was too late with the little poem attempt :(
Reply

truemuslim
10-14-2008, 06:59 PM
wooow lol that poem is awesome...!

i didnt kno old ppl could rhyme :p
Reply

SixTen
10-14-2008, 07:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim
wooow lol that poem is awesome...!

i didnt kno old ppl could rhyme :p
Im far from old :P (I hope!).
Reply

Güven
10-14-2008, 07:00 PM
That was amazing :ooh:
Reply

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