can you help

[AnonymousPoster]

Is it permissible for a woman to divorce on the basis of the way the marriage took place or the way she gets along with him such as emotional and understanding issues and conflicts I heard it’s a big sin and Allah will not be happy with you and your life may even turn out bad

[Mikayeel]

AsalaamAlykum

Thread approved.

Bare in mind there arent any qualified scholars i know of in this forum.

Can u explain what you mean by ''The way the marrage took place''

thanks :)

[MO783]

Salam

best to ask a Scholar

[AnonymousPoster]

where can i find a good scholer most of them i have come across dont speak english and find difficult to communicate

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[AnonymousPoster]

AsalaamAlykum

Thread approved.

Bare in mind there arent any qualified scholars i know of in this forum.

Can u explain what you mean by ''The way the marrage took place''

thanks :)

marriage where it only took place due to pressure and now the experience has put person in almost in depression

[Ushae]

Marriages that take place through emotional blackmail aren't really considered valid.

The prophet (pbuh) was once approached by a young woman who was concerned about her recent marriage. She told him that her father married her to a man to increase his social standing. She told him that she was forced into the marriage and asked if this was correct. The prophet replied that the marriage was invalid (as her consent wasn't given) and she eligable for annulment.

However I'm not sure what grounds you are asking this question on. Were you forced, and if so how were you ? There are certain circumstances where you have little choice and others where you simply made the wrong choice.

How long have you been married ? Perhaps you haven't invested enough time into your husband to come to such a conclusion ?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

umm have you properly tried your utmost best to make it work?



divorce is a LAST RESORT so that you dont get stuck in a hellish marriage...



from what i understand if you were forced into a marriage then it can be annulled, same for if you got DECEIVED into a marriage.

[Faseeha]

Assalamu-Alaikum sister

I unfortunately cannot advise you on this matter as i do not have the sufficient islamic knowledge to do so. Try the following website: www.alislam.co.za

May Allah guide you and grant you sabr (patience) in your times of difficulty

[Zahida]

:sl: Depending on where you live there should be Islamic Sharia Law around...........

If not try Regents Park in London they are good there and have sisters who can help/advise and talk to you........... phone no;020 7247 6052.

I hope this is of use and pray that Allah eases your pain and difficulties. Ameen:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

Thank you for all your response i know i may need to talk to an counsellor regarding this issue which I have but I cant go there regularly due to work commitment. I dont really know how to approach scholers I just feel like they going to judge me.

Early this year I went on holiday in pakistan I refused to go at first but i had reassurance from my parents nothing of the sort will happen they knew how against i was in the idea. but some how i ended up getting married at the time it all made sense it made everyone happy it made my parents happy plus their family not so well so they were happy. but i just didnt realise what i was getting my self into. It changed everything changed me as a person the perspective of life and the way I look at life. I always used to hear about this sort of things but never understood the impacts. I never thought even for a second something like this could ever happen to me I thought I was educated to wise and too strong to let anything like this happen to me. I was bit naive but confident person now I just dont even know who in am. I always thought if you get married better for worse your married that’s that.

But I just can’t help the way I feel in this relationship. I couldn’t understand what I have just got my self into. I kept thinking in my head and trying to make sense of it all. But I still couldn’t make my self understand and give my self peace of mind. Ever since I have been depressed quite a lot I find it really hard to focus on my work and getting on with day to day things. Every day seems such a struggle. Its now been quite long since I have come back and I still cant find happiness in the marriage I want to be happy I want this feeling to go away but every time I even think of him I have this feeling in my heart that I cant even explain I feel so low and so weak when I think of it tears from my will just automatically drop and that’s all I can do to relief the pain.

I really wish i wouldnt feel like this believe me but i dont know how to get on with things when i know i have to live with this for the rest of my life. some times i just doubt my self thinking why did i give in why was i so weak its not like they were beating me it was only words. I feel like im to blame gave my consent and i accepted it when i was there and tried to just get on with it. But when i came back to my own environment away from all those people it just hit like life just slapt me in the face.


Some days I find it hard to get up in the morning knowing that i have to fight this feeling once again. And when I think of him coming here it makes the situation worse I just feel all wrestles I cant believe this is my life for the rest of my life. I don’t really want him to be near me again. I have more hope life when I don’t think of him than I do when I do think of him.I don’t know why I feel so strongly against the marriage but that’s just the way I feel.

I wanted to build relationship with him but every time I tried even when I speak to him I feel worse I cant find comfort in him. I try to put off calling him because of the way he makes me feel after I speak to him. The distance between us has probably made me draw away from him more. I can’t even concentrate a work every thing feels worthless I cant find purpose to anything in life. Some time I listen to my self and I think I sound so pathetic.

I know what ever happens good or bad its Allah swt will and in every situation there is a lesson to learn. But im just scared of making the wrong decision I can take the whole world being against me but I don’t think I can take Allah being against me after all allah is who decides or destiny and I don’t want to do any thing to make Allah swt angry with me. My prayers are the only thing keeping me going through all this but im just scared and being feeling quite negative for the past few days just keep thinking what if Allah is not happy with me and what if he abandons me or doesn’t want to help me.

I'm just feeling very low and depressed for the last few days when i pray to Allah i feel ashamed to ask for help i just feel like im in the wrong I read upon marriages where it says marriage is a gift and Allah brings two people together.

I just feel like what if im being punished for my sins I used to pray but i know i havent always been the best of muslims and i have many faults I just feel so negative towards asking for help I just feel like i got my self into this mess and no matter what happens things will never be ok. Either way which ever way things turns out i just see no light. I know people say Allah will make paths easy for you but I just get a feeling that i keep making everything worse for my self what if im in the wrong and i get punished for the rest of my life and Allah never forgives me.

sorry i know this is quite long and i dont know bit silly and some of the things dont make sense and some people may think im weird but i just had to let it all out....