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HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-15-2008, 07:03 PM
peace be upon u all
how r u ?
Iam haya , Iam a participent in an english competetion for writing essays ,so I wrote (benifits of reading)
hope it admires u ....but ,if u please , can u check it for me , because Iam Arabic girl ,and u do better in english ......thank u for caring ...

Benefits of reading

Whenever i see it, or even give it a peek , I feel that it admonishes me ,it wants to get out of its prison between shelves "please get me out of here",as it has been there for a long time. It feels lonely in this world, or rather, the Arab world. Did you guess it? It's a book! After that, it reloads me of the responsibility of sending his message to those whom I know, and that’s why I wrote this essay.

"A home without books is like a room without windows". Have you ever wondered the benefits of reading? or why and what should we read? There are a lot of endless benefits of it, lets see some of them:
at first ,it develops the average of attention span and the ability to concentrate at length. It's also well known that reading expands our interests and horizons of knowledge, improves our creativity and ability to analyze what happens around us well. But the most important aim of reading we can reap is the practical side or the culture .one of culture meanings is the sum of informations ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.so, we can conclude the answer of why to read,by saying we should read the positive books that give us a positive push and behaviors in every aspect of life .If u inspect this meaning well ,you will know how islam cares about this side.

Our prophet (pbuh) was a quran walking on the land" that's how his companions described him. Just getting this saying is a cogent proof of the importance of reading _the good books in Islam. Take a look at our past, when the caliph was giving that wrote or translated a book, a quantity of gold as the weight of the book. But these manners were surrounded by a country ruled by Islamic law ,in other words, they have never ever forgot their holy book, their first book issue. Because if we forget our holy book, we will simply forget the other books at all, and then, we will lead ourselves to the abyss, and that what happens at this time. "


Whenever u ask anybody here whether he reads or not ,he replied of being busy ,or because he does not love reading because it’s a boring stuff! Is it a right excuse !Or because he does not a ware of the importance of reading!Ok.there are many other reasons of lacking of reading ,for example , poverty _that leads to an intellectual poverty_,the book itself, the media ,especially the Internet and TV that give us information quickly and easily,the recklessness of youths that forms 60% of our society and the most important reason as I wrote above is forgetting quran which should be read everyday. Thats why our poor book feels lonely here.but does he feel lonely in there? I think that he is so excited!


We have many festivals here, right? But what is it mostly about? Dancing and singing are the most important! Ok, have we ever thought about year of reading! Yes , that happens at UK, to encourage children to read and their parents how to choose good books for them. Imagine that lots of people there ,send their 2years old children to the libraries to strengthen the bond between them and books and to develop the sense of affinity in them , in order to be good readers in the future! At the time that we publish 1 book per 350thousand people ,they publish 1 book per 15 thousand!They use amazing ways to spread reading everywhere, for example ,at UK there is a bookshop in every school to buy , the income to these book shops reached one million pounds in a year! In fact, after reading about how they deal with books ,I notice that they focus on teaching children the reading and try to create an exciting environment to make them good readers, because children now are the builders of tomorrow.

Finally ,that’s what I could write about reading, I hope that we regain our values and use it in our life and take care of our holy book to become the best nation in the world. Remember, that when voltair was asked about future leaders ,he replied "those who read",so, you can choose whether to be one of these 2%leaders or one of the 98%followers!anyway, its your choice!

my regards..
Haya Al Amleh
Reply

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HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-17-2008, 01:06 PM
pleaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeee ,check it for me pleaaaaaaaasssssssse:(
Reply

Re.TiReD
10-17-2008, 01:08 PM
Woops I gotta dash now, but I'll read it when I get home insha'Allah. That is, if you havnt had more responses by then :)
Reply

MO783
10-17-2008, 01:21 PM
Im not a good reader, never have been but from what I have seen its nice. Hope you win Inshallah

p.s. I wish I was Arabic
Reply

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Trumble
10-17-2008, 11:41 PM
Whenever i see it, or even give it a peek , I feel that it admonishes me ,it wants to get out of its prison between shelves "please get me out of here",as it has been there for a long time. It feels lonely in this world, or rather, the Arab world. Did you guess it? It's a book! After that, it reloads me of the responsibility of sending his message to those whom I know, and that’s why I wrote this essay.
You need to link in the phrase in quotes with a verb, such as shouting "please get me....".

'Reloads' is wrong; its not a word that would be used in that context. 'Reminds me' is a lot better.

"A home without books is like a room without windows". Have you ever wondered the benefits of reading? or why and what should we read? There are a lot of endless benefits of it, lets see some of them:
at first ,it develops the average of attention span and the ability to concentrate at length. It's also well known that reading expands our interests and horizons of knowledge, improves our creativity and ability to analyze what happens around us well. But the most important aim of reading we can reap is the practical side or the culture .one of culture meanings is the sum of informations ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.so, we can conclude the answer of why to read,by saying we should read the positive books that give us a positive push and behaviors in every aspect of life .If u inspect this meaning well ,you will know how islam cares about this side.
Just 'There are endless benefits ' is better. Dropping that sentence and just starting with 'Let's see some of them' is better still. Not ': at first', just (new sentence) 'Firstly...'. 'You', not 'u'!

You need to watch punctuation throughout; the first letter of a new sentence is always a capital and (being very picky) the space is after each full stop (period) not before it, so of life. If you inspect rather than of life .If u.... You can just about get away with starting a sentence with 'But', but it isn't good English.

Our prophet (pbuh) was a quran walking on the land" that's how his companions described him. Just getting this saying is a cogent proof of the importance of reading _the good books in Islam. Take a look at our past, when the caliph was giving that wrote or translated a book, a quantity of gold as the weight of the book. But these manners were surrounded by a country ruled by Islamic law ,in other words, they have never ever forgot their holy book, their first book issue. Because if we forget our holy book, we will simply forget the other books at all, and then, we will lead ourselves to the abyss, and that what happens at this time. "
Again, watch punctuation. Both 'Prophet' (in this context) and Qur'an (always) need capitals, as does 'Caliph'.

Whenever u ask anybody here whether he reads or not ,he replied of being busy ,or because he does not love reading because it’s a boring stuff! Is it a right excuse !
That sentence needs a total rewrite. I hope its not 'cheating', but it should read something like;

"Whenever you ask somebody whether they read or not, they might reply that they are busy, or think it is boring. Are they good excuses?"

Sorry, I need to go now, but I hope both that that might be a little help, and that somebody else can take up where I'm leaving off. Good luck with the essay!
Reply

wth1257
10-18-2008, 02:04 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HaYa-MiD gIrL
peace be upon u all
how r u ?
Iam haya , Iam a participent in an english competetion for writing essays ,so I wrote (benifits of reading)
hope it admires u ....but ,if u please , can u check it for me , because Iam Arabic girl ,and u do better in english ......thank u for caring ...

Benefits of reading

Whenever i see it, or even give it a peek , I feel that it admonishes me ,it wants to get out of its prison between shelves "please get me out of here",as it has been there for a long time. It feels lonely in this world, or rather, the Arab world. Did you guess it? It's a book! After that, it reloads me of the responsibility of sending his message to those whom I know, and that’s why I wrote this essay.

"A home without books is like a room without windows". Have you ever wondered the benefits of reading? or why and what should we read? There are a lot of endless benefits of it, lets see some of them:
at first ,it develops the average of attention span and the ability to concentrate at length. It's also well known that reading expands our interests and horizons of knowledge, improves our creativity and ability to analyze what happens around us well. But the most important aim of reading we can reap is the practical side or the culture .one of culture meanings is the sum of informations ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.so, we can conclude the answer of why to read,by saying we should read the positive books that give us a positive push and behaviors in every aspect of life .If u inspect this meaning well ,you will know how islam cares about this side.

Our prophet (pbuh) was a quran walking on the land" that's how his companions described him. Just getting this saying is a cogent proof of the importance of reading _the good books in Islam. Take a look at our past, when the caliph was giving that wrote or translated a book, a quantity of gold as the weight of the book. But these manners were surrounded by a country ruled by Islamic law ,in other words, they have never ever forgot their holy book, their first book issue. Because if we forget our holy book, we will simply forget the other books at all, and then, we will lead ourselves to the abyss, and that what happens at this time. "


Whenever u ask anybody here whether he reads or not ,he replied of being busy ,or because he does not love reading because it’s a boring stuff! Is it a right excuse !Or because he does not a ware of the importance of reading!Ok.there are many other reasons of lacking of reading ,for example , poverty _that leads to an intellectual poverty_,the book itself, the media ,especially the Internet and TV that give us information quickly and easily,the recklessness of youths that forms 60% of our society and the most important reason as I wrote above is forgetting quran which should be read everyday. Thats why our poor book feels lonely here.but does he feel lonely in there? I think that he is so excited!


We have many festivals here, right? But what is it mostly about? Dancing and singing are the most important! Ok, have we ever thought about year of reading! Yes , that happens at UK, to encourage children to read and their parents how to choose good books for them. Imagine that lots of people there ,send their 2years old children to the libraries to strengthen the bond between them and books and to develop the sense of affinity in them , in order to be good readers in the future! At the time that we publish 1 book per 350thousand people ,they publish 1 book per 15 thousand!They use amazing ways to spread reading everywhere, for example ,at UK there is a bookshop in every school to buy , the income to these book shops reached one million pounds in a year! In fact, after reading about how they deal with books ,I notice that they focus on teaching children the reading and try to create an exciting environment to make them good readers, because children now are the builders of tomorrow.

Finally ,that’s what I could write about reading, I hope that we regain our values and use it in our life and take care of our holy book to become the best nation in the world. Remember, that when voltair was asked about future leaders ,he replied "those who read",so, you can choose whether to be one of these 2%leaders or one of the 98%followers!anyway, its your choice!

my regards..
Haya Al Amleh

Do you still need this checked?
Reply

HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-18-2008, 04:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Trumble
You need to link in the phrase in quotes with a verb, such as shouting "please get me....".

'Reloads' is wrong; its not a word that would be used in that context. 'Reminds me' is a lot better.



Just 'There are endless benefits ' is better. Dropping that sentence and just starting with 'Let's see some of them' is better still. Not ': at first', just (new sentence) 'Firstly...'. 'You', not 'u'!

You need to watch punctuation throughout; the first letter of a new sentence is always a capital and (being very picky) the space is after each full stop (period) not before it, so of life. If you inspect rather than of life .If u.... You can just about get away with starting a sentence with 'But', but it isn't good English.



Again, watch punctuation. Both 'Prophet' (in this context) and Qur'an (always) need capitals, as does 'Caliph'.



That sentence needs a total rewrite. I hope its not 'cheating', but it should read something like;

"Whenever you ask somebody whether they read or not, they might reply that they are busy, or think it is boring. Are they good excuses?"

Sorry, I need to go now, but I hope both that that might be a little help, and that somebody else can take up where I'm leaving off. Good luck with the essay!

Thank u soooooo much Trumble ,, I really appreciate your concerns ..u gave me rich informations for my essay ...thank u :)
but i wanna just to ask u whether this bellow is right , :


"A home without books is like a room without windows"1. Have you ever wondered about the benefits of reading? Or why and what should we read? There are endless benefits of it. Firstly, it develops the average of attention span and the ability to concentrate at length. It's also well known that reading expands our interests and horizons of knowledge and improves our creativity and ability to analyze what happen around us well. Indeed, the most important aim of reading we can reap is the practical side ,or the culture .one of culture meanings is the sum of information ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.

and I rewrote the conclusion ..

Finally, that’s what I could write about reading, I hope that we take care of our holy book and spread around thrilling ways to motivate people to read ,especially by the private organizations ,in order to become the best nation in the world. Remember, that when voltair was asked about future leaders ,he replied "those who read", so, you can choose whether to be one of these 2%leaders or one of the 98%followers!Anyway, its your choice!

thank u so much
my regards
Reply

alcurad
10-18-2008, 05:41 AM
beautiful, you have good style, keep it up.

format_quote Originally Posted by HaYa-MiD gIrL
There are endless benefits of it...analyze what happen around us ...the most important aim of reading one of culture meanings is the sum of information ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.


...Remember, that when voltair was asked about future leaders ,he replied "those who read"
endless benefits for it...analyze what happens around us...i don't really get the last part, could you rearrange or rewrite it?

also the voltair quote is good, but not very clear.
good essay otherwise:)
Reply

Trumble
10-18-2008, 11:41 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HaYa-MiD gIrL


"A home without books is like a room without windows"1. Have you ever wondered about the benefits of reading? Or why and what should we read? There are endless benefits of it. Firstly, it develops the average of attention span and the ability to concentrate at length. It's also well known that reading expands our interests and horizons of knowledge and improves our creativity and ability to analyze what happen around us well. Indeed, the most important aim of reading we can reap is the practical side ,or the culture .one of culture meanings is the sum of information ,values ,conceptions and clues that control our behaviors in life.
That's great! You don't need the "1." and being picky it should be "benefits to it", not "benefits of it" or indeed "for it" (it is the reader that benefits, not the reading).

Finally, that’s what I could write about reading, I hope that we take care of our holy book and spread around thrilling ways to motivate people to read ,especially by the private organizations ,in order to become the best nation in the world. Remember, that when voltair was asked about future leaders ,he replied "those who read", so, you can choose whether to be one of these 2%leaders or one of the 98%followers!Anyway, its your choice!
The first two clauses are wrong; it should be something like "Those are my thoughts on reading". You don't need the 'finally' here. 'Holy Book' and 'Voltaire' need capitals. And lastly it should be "one of the 2% who are leaders". You would use use 'these' if you were referring to a specific group of leaders that you had specified earlier, not in general terms as here.
Reply

HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-18-2008, 01:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by alcurad
beautiful, you have good style, keep it up.



endless benefits for it...analyze what happens around us...i don't really get the last part, could you rearrange or rewrite it?

also the voltair quote is good, but not very clear.
good essay otherwise:)
thank u for replying my brother ,,,
what I mean that , for example , when you read intellectual books deeply , you will change ur mind about things around you ,or ,ur approach will be changed ,and start to analyze things according to ur thoughts that u got and formed while reading ...

hope u got it :)

my regards:thankyou:
Reply

HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-18-2008, 01:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Trumble
That's great! You don't need the "1." and being picky it should be "benefits to it", not "benefits of it" or indeed "for it" (it is the reader that benefits, not the reading).



The first two clauses are wrong; it should be something like "Those are my thoughts on reading". You don't need the 'finally' here. 'Holy Book' and 'Voltaire' need capitals. And lastly it should be "one of the 2% who are leaders". You would use use 'these' if you were referring to a specific group of leaders that you had specified earlier, not in general terms as here.
I am really grateful to u .....I dont know how can I thank u...:-[ or what to say ...but this is all I can do ....thank u so much ..
my regards
haya
Reply

*~~AdAn~~*
10-18-2008, 01:57 PM
:sl:i am so sorry sis i am very bad in english :-[, i am urdu speaking
Reply

HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-18-2008, 02:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by MO783
Im not a good reader, never have been but from what I have seen its nice. Hope you win Inshallah

p.s. I wish I was Arabic
thank u my borther ......
my regards
Reply

HaYa-MiD gIrL
10-18-2008, 02:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by *~~AdAn~~*
:sl:i am so sorry sis i am very bad in english :-[, i am urdu speaking
no problem my brother ,, thank u for ur kind relpying here ..:)
my regards
Reply

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