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AnonymousPoster
10-16-2008, 07:54 PM
Essalamu Alaikum all,

I need your kind advice.I am a working mom who has two wonderful daughters.My life is really hectic between my job and the matters of my house.I try to be as efficient inside and outside my house.However it is really too difficult.I'm feeling like all this stress is consuming me from the inside.
Yesterday,my husband told me of his desire to have a third child.I was really shocked for both of my pregnancies were really difficult and what followed was worse.My second daughter was a premature and what followed her birth really was too tough on me.She's very late on everything.I find sometimes my husband very unrealistic and selfish for he never helps me at all.My question is:Religion-wise, do I have the right to decline his desire and refuse another pregnancy?
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Zahida
10-16-2008, 08:27 PM
:sl: Sister i do feel for you, but i do not know if i am right tosay this, but any "ruh" that is meant to be will come onto this planet/world..........

What would you do if you found out that you had fallen pregnant without planning??

This is a decision that only you and your husband can make you relly need to sit down and talk to him, InshAllah he will be understanding and you can come to some conclusion.......... Ameen.:bump1::w:
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Essalamu Alaikum all,

I need your kind advice.I am a working mom who has two wonderful daughters.My life is really hectic between my job and the matters of my house.I try to be as efficient inside and outside my house.However it is really too difficult.I'm feeling like all this stress is consuming me from the inside.
Yesterday,my husband told me of his desire to have a third child.I was really shocked for both of my pregnancies were really difficult and what followed was worse.My second daughter was a premature and what followed her birth really was too tough on me.She's very late on everything.I find sometimes my husband very unrealistic and selfish for he never helps me at all.My question is:Religion-wise, do I have the right to decline his desire and refuse another pregnancy?
Reply

Re.TiReD
10-16-2008, 08:30 PM
:wasalamex

My question is:Religion-wise, do I have the right to decline his desire and refuse another pregnancy?
Sis, I'd advise you to talk to him first about how you feel. Presuming you havnt already. Most often than not, misunderstandings lie in a lack of communication. He may just understand and be a little sensitive...
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chacha_jalebi
10-16-2008, 08:34 PM
say to him your a workin mum, you wont have the time to give a new baby the time it deserves, unless he is willin to stay home and look after it! be firm and serious, dont bring a child into the world if you now, you wont have the correct time and care for it :D

dont despair, talk to him inshallah
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Zahida
10-16-2008, 08:43 PM
:sl: we know whose gonna be wearin the trousers in your relationship lol!!!!!:giggling:
format_quote Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
say to him your a workin mum, you wont have the time to give a new baby the time it deserves, unless he is willin to stay home and look after it! be firm and serious, dont bring a child into the world if you now, you wont have the correct time and care for it :D

dont despair, talk to him inshallah
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Snowflake
10-16-2008, 08:45 PM
I believe you can refuse sis. Islam doesn't regard a woman as a baby-making machine. You are a wife before you became a mother. If he isn't helping you, he isn't fulfilling your rights as a wife. When he starts fulfilling those then he can expect you to mother any more kids of his. Until then, don't put yourself into anymore difficulty.

I did the same thing. And I thank Allah I didnt have four fatherless kids like my neighbour has. I pray Allah guides your husband and makes things easy for you ~ Ameen
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