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javeriya
10-18-2008, 07:52 PM
salaam evryone!!!

my husband is not givein up on porn, its comming to 5years now e aint given up. im sick n tired of telling him off. please help.
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amna_mirza
10-18-2008, 09:34 PM
:sl:

You should get him to seek professional help from a psychologist. Having read an article about this topic I can tell you that there are thousands of such people out there and they require help from professionals if they want to give this up.

If your husband has been doing this since 5 years, then you really need to get him to seek professional help.

Hope it works out for you people
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The Khan
10-18-2008, 10:46 PM
Yes, pornography addiction is no different from sex addiction. He definitely needs counseling.
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IbnAbdulHakim
10-18-2008, 10:50 PM
hmm well


i am not suggesting you do this ! but i can tell you wat i would do!

i wud always make dua for him (especially on the third part of the night because thats when duas are most accepted) and then i would tell him if he doesnt try his best to quit and ultimately leave it then i would leave him. HOWEVER for as long as i can see him regretful/remorseful/ashamed and sincerely trying to quit, i would stay with him and support him.


that is what i would do
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Zahida
10-18-2008, 11:04 PM
:sl:You must get him help!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is like a sickness of the mind.......
Be firm if he doesn't respectyou and stop then sister threaten to walk.:w:
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Sahabiyaat
10-19-2008, 10:06 AM
In all maturity (and no laughing here), refuse to have any sexual relations with him.When he asks, tell him to go to his magazines. Simple, and also follow all of the above advice.

Go on the net, find islamic articles dealing specifically with this issue, and make him read them.If this doesnt change him, seek professional help,if this doesnt change him, you know what to do...
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amna_mirza
10-19-2008, 12:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
In all maturity (and no laughing here), refuse to have any sexual relations with him.When he asks, tell him to go to his magazines. Simple, and also follow all of the above advice.

Go on the net, find islamic articles dealing specifically with this issue, and make him read them.If this doesnt change him, seek professional help,if this doesnt change him, you know what to do...
From what I have read on this topic. People who are addicted to internet pornography do not desire to have sex with real people. Their world is limited to the internet. Refusing to have sexual relations with him would not help at all. In fact in may worsen the problem. And be patient with him. He's been addicted to it since 5 years. It would be hard for him to give it instantly. Its sort of like giving up smoking. Its does not happen over night.
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kitten
10-19-2008, 01:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
In all maturity (and no laughing here), refuse to have any sexual relations with him.
^It's haram for a woman to refuse her husband when he comes to her for intimacy.

When he asks, tell him to go to his magazines. Simple, and also follow all of the above advice.
he wont care, he most prolyl will go to his mags/vids if she gives him the green light in sarcasm or not...

as for taking to him a psychologist....... porn in the eyes of psychologists is seen as 'normal' behaviours these days. :s

without me being graphic....just dont give him the opportunity to view this material..when he tries to, just be there so he can enjoy a real relationship rather than that..
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_Rida_
10-19-2008, 01:35 PM
javeriya if my husband did that i would ask for a divorce or tell him to sort himself out!! this is not acceptable in islam!! :offended:
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Sahabiyaat
10-19-2008, 02:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by kitten



he wont care, he most prolyl will go to his mags/vids if she gives him the green light in sarcasm or not...

.
do you really believe that :muddlehea, seriously..... he will care. trust me.If i was in this situation, i would feel sick just looking at this person, but thats me.I dont know about this sister or her husband.
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Sahabiyaat
10-19-2008, 02:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by amna_mirza
From what I have read on this topic. People who are addicted to internet pornography do not desire to have sex with real people. Their world is limited to the internet. Refusing to have sexual relations with him would not help at all. In fact in may worsen the problem. And be patient with him. He's been addicted to it since 5 years. It would be hard for him to give it instantly. Its sort of like giving up smoking. Its does not happen over night.
:hmm: lord...i didnt know some people could be like that...
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truemuslim
10-20-2008, 03:58 PM
try 19 years :(

try nd help him, find islamic things about it on the internet nd all, or even get him sum counselling. :) khair inshallah
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The Khan
10-20-2008, 06:42 PM
You must know, pornography addiction and sex addiction are mental addictions. Mental addictions are the worst.

For example, when I was addicted to tobacco, I had no problem quitting. Yet, around 90% of smokers are unable to quit. Because for them, it's a mental addiction. You can be mentally addicted to anything, even chocolates or bananas. I personally, am a food addict. My body can't tolerate foods containing gluten and casein, yet, I always end up eating these types of food, with the end result, i suffer from mild fatigue and dark circles.

Although this might sound hillarious, around 1/5th-1/3rd of Rehab patients are sex or porn addicts. I know a guy who went to rehab for opiate & ludes addiction.
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