Not a bad guy

[anonymous]

Please do NOT comment or give suggestions on the words in Italic in this post.

I am fully aware of the word "fish" that is often used in some forums.

A girl was thinking of me a fish in a forum. She did not directly tell me that what she expects from me but she was quite successful in giving me some hints. Moreover, her friends started to investigate about me thinking that I was unaware of what they were doing. I have a strange sixth sense which alerts on every such occasion. Sometimes I tell people that what they are up to before that they tell me about their plans. You may say I am to some degree a telepath.

I have some problems in my life and I am not sure when exactly the problems overcome me and I commit suicide.

In such a situation, I did not want to fool that girl by falsely telling her that I was the one she was looking for. I wanted her to forget about me. I did not encourage the girl in a least bit because I did not want her to start dreaming of someone who may commit suicide any minute. I tried my best to make her realize that I do not see her more or less than a sister. I in my every post called her with the word sister. I in may every post tried to make her realize that I shall never marry her. I was scared that she might not go so far in her delusion that tomorrow she gets depressed. I know how bad this thing is. So today I intentionally hurt her very badly to make her think that I was a bad guy and not worthy enough that she should think of me. I was successful, she will not think of me like this again.

If she had come to me directly, I'd have simply told her all about me and made things clear without causing her embarrassment but she was beating about the bush. I did not have courage to directly tell her that I was not born for her, reason being, she did not directly tell me anything, I was only going by my strange sixth sense and was not hundred percent sure that what she was up to.

The problem with me is that I get very depressed when someone thinks of me negatively. I am at the peak of building depression at this moment. I do not know how to explain it to her that I am not a bad guy but whatever I did, it was for her benefit. Whatever I did, it was to stop her from dreaming of me because she could never get me.

I do not know what should I do to get rid of my depression that I have at this moment of time because of being sure that 1. I hurt her very badly 2. she is thinking of me very badly.

Please do NOT comment or give suggestions on the words in Italic in this post.

[Re.TiReD]

I opened this and thought I was being told off for saying the word fish. But now I'm lost :-\

[Cabdullahi]

at first i thought this was directed at sister jolie but the thread is abit confusing

[Cabdullahi]

Please do NOT comment or give suggestions on the words in Italic in this post.

I am fully aware of the word "fish" that is often used in some forums.

A girl was thinking of me a fish in a forum. She did not directly tell me that what she expects from me but she was quite successful in giving me some hints. Moreover, her friends started to investigate about me thinking that I was unaware of what they were doing. I have a strange sixth sense which alerts on every such occasion. Sometimes I tell people that what they are up to before that they tell me about their plans. You may say I am to some degree a telepath.

I have some problems in my life and I am not sure when exactly the problems overcome me and I commit suicide.

In such a situation, I did not want to fool that girl by falsely telling her that I was the one she was looking for. I wanted her to forget about me. I did not encourage the girl in a least bit because I did not want her to start dreaming of someone who may commit suicide any minute. I tried my best to make her realize that I do not see her more or less than a sister. I in my every post called her with the word sister. I in may every post tried to make her realize that I shall never marry her. I was scared that she might not go so far in her delusion that tomorrow she gets depressed. I know how bad this thing is. So today I intentionally hurt her very badly to make her think that I was a bad guy and not worthy enough that she should think of me. I was successful, she will not think of me like this again.

If she had come to me directly, I'd have simply told her all about me and made things clear without causing her embarrassment but she was beating about the bush. I did not have courage to directly tell her that I was not born for her, reason being, she did not directly tell me anything, I was only going by my strange sixth sense and was not hundred percent sure that what she was up to.

The problem with me is that I get very depressed when someone thinks of me negatively. I am at the peak of building depression at this moment. I do not know how to explain it to her that I am not a bad guy but whatever I did, it was for her benefit. Whatever I did, it was to stop her from dreaming of me because she could never get me.

I do not know what should I do to get rid of my depression that I have at this moment of time because of being sure that 1. I hurt her very badly 2. she is thinking of me very badly.

Please do NOT comment or give suggestions on the words in Italic in this post.

Brother first of all you dont have some supernatural ability...case closed....secondly just tell the girl to stop it and focus on your religion

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[AnonymousPoster]

Tell her to stop and that you dont like it, simple. Im also not a big fan of the whole fish this fish that business.

[anonymous]

Just forget about the word fish. Post is crystal clear to let you understand the whole situation without understanding this term.

I may not have sixth sense but yet I being a human have five senses and I can get things quite easily.

I've already mentioned it in my post that she is gone never to come back again, I'm sure about that. I don't want you to tell me what I should tell her to forget me. She has forgotten.

Eagerly waiting for a suggestion how I can get rid of my depression?

[Re.TiReD]

This thread is freaking me out. Seriously.

Erm. LOL! As of today I will never say the word fish. For some reason.

[Re.TiReD]

Just forget about the word fish. Post is crystal clear to let you understand the whole situation without understanding this term.

I may not have sixth sense but yet I being a human have five senses and I can get things quite easily.

Eagerly waiting for a suggestion how I can get rid of my depression?

Well if it's on a forum as you say then just leave it and get yourself banned.

Is ur depression because of her or something else?

[MO783]

:sl:

I am abit confused, just tell the girl in a nice way if it will happen then it will, tell her your feelings and leave the rest to Allah

[anonymous]

Well if it's on a forum as you say then just leave it and get yourself banned.

Is ur depression because of her or something else?

I don't care for her because of her being a girl. I don't like it that anyone anywhere think bad about me. Thats all the problem.

I shall leave the forum. Good suggesion.

Just come out with it and tell her the truth of the matter. There was no need for you to have been 'bad' in the first place.

I shall think how I can approach her.

As for behaving with her badly, she was being on the front foot even after I had tried to make her realize that I was not at all born for her.

I am abit confused, just tell the girl in a nice way if it will happen then it will, tell her your feelings and leave the rest to Allah

It will never happen. She has realized very well. Point is what I can do to get rid of my depression.

A few good suggestions I've got. Waiting for some others.

[Re.TiReD]

ok...I have several questions.

Why are you depressed? Shouldnt she be depressed coz u rejected her?

And if she's fogotten then whats the prob? If you're not in contact then how would you know what she thinks of you

[anonymous]

Why are you depressed?

Should I not be depressed after realizing that I have hurt someone even though I did it as a last resort? You may ask, why not you think about it before hurting her? Well! have you ever asked a person who repents to God after committing a sin that why he did he not think before sinning?

Shouldnt she be depressed coz u rejected her?

She can answer this question better than me.

May be she is depressed. And that is increasing my depression with each passing moment. Unless she forgives me, God won't forgive me. But as I said in my first post, I didn't have an option but to say "NO!".

I should have said it politely but how? She was beating about the bush.

And if she's fogotten then whats the prob?

Conscious. Do you know what it is? At least I do feel that I have to answer some questions that are knocking at my mind.

If you're not in contact then how would you know what she thinks of you

Even if I am in contact with her, I can't know what's in someone's heart. Your question went straight over my head.

[Re.TiReD]

This thread is giving me depression :(

No joke, I'm going to lose sleep over why you used the word fish now.

In case anybody is wondering, this thing isnt me :-\

And bro, the most I think you can do is ask Allah (swt) to forgive you and forget the rest insha'Allah. If you can then ask her but I wouldnt recommend it.

You did what you had to do so thats it....Isnt it?

And what I meant is, why bother what people think of you? If you're content in the fact that you did the right thing, then good for you. If you're happy knowing you did the right thing then rest easy bro.

We all hurt people, whether intentionaly or unintentionally...what matters is what we do after that.....and not cause more pain

[Cabdullahi]

This thread is giving me depression :(

No joke, I'm going to lose sleep over why you used the word fish now.

In case anybody is wondering, this thing isnt me :-\

And bro, the most I think you can do is ask Allah (swt) to forgive you and forget the rest insha'Allah. If you can then ask her but I wouldnt recommend it.

You did what you had to do so thats it....Isnt it?

And what I meant is, why bother what people think of you? If you're content in the fact that you did the right thing, then good for you. If you're happy knowing you did the right thing then rest easy bro.

We all hurt people, whether intentionaly or unintentionally...what matters is what we do after that.....and not cause more pain

Sister jolie there's no need to get dipressed you are already suffering stress from uni and stuff..everybody uses the word fish and to get dipressed over it because sum1 from another forum had problems with another person who uses the word

[Ali.]

You need to elaborate more; who is this girl, and do you mean fish as in the animal or the racial slur?

[anonymous]

And what I meant is, why bother what people think of you? If you're content in the fact that you did the right thing, then good for you. If you're happy knowing you did the right thing then rest easy bro.

Why not bother? I did right thing as per my circumstances but yet I hurt a human. Not only because I rejected, but because I did it IN PUBLIC. How am I gonna know how much she was hurt? I've to ask her to forgive me otherwise I feel that I'll not get rid of my depression.

We all hurt people, whether intentionaly or unintentionally...what matters is what we do after that.....and not cause more pain

We all hurt people but a human isn't a human who doesn't ask the victim to forgive him for hurting so badly. You can't even imagine how badly I hurt her IN PUBLIC.

You need to elaborate more; who is this girl, and do you mean fish as in the animal or the racial slur?

What will you do after knowing the name or id of the girl? How will it help me in getting rid of my depression?

Do you really didn't get what kind of fish I mean? I don't think so. Even if you didn't get, leave the fish aside. Other things, I've made them clear in my first post.

[Re.TiReD]

Well it seems you know what you want to do. You want to ask her forgiveness. Do it then.

[Ali.]

What will you do after knowing the name or id of the girl? How will it help me in getting rid of my depression?

That's not what I meant. Is she your ex-girlfriend/random girl/family friends daughter or what?

Do you really didn't get what kind of fish I mean? I don't think so.

You could've just told me.

Even if you didn't get, leave the fish aside. Other things, I've made them clear in my first post.

Um, OK if you are really going to limit the amount of advice that can be given, I second what Jolie said ^. What you have apparently made clear is in my opinion very brief.

[Cabdullahi]

Do you really didn't get what kind of fish I mean? I don't think so. Even if you didn't get, leave the fish aside. Other things, I've made them clear in my first post.

This fish word is getting to me now!
brother ask allah for forgiveness ,do istikhara and sit in the corner on your own for a bit and contemplate and come up with an action that you will do thats islamic

[anonymous]

Well it seems you know what you want to do. You want to ask her forgiveness. Do it then.

I didn't know what to do when I started this discussion. After that I was writing previous post, a thought just flashed in my mind that I HAVE to do it ....... I HAVE TO ASK HER TO FORGIVE ME.

But I'm somewhat afraid. And that is that it's in her hand that she forgives me or not. As she couldn't compel me to do what she expected from me, so am I helpless in compelling her to do what I want her to do.

Anyway, I'll pray to God to make her hart soft for me. Thank YOU dear friends. Now I know what's important for me to do. I'll go and ask her to forgive me. Simple as that.

Take Care.

[anonymous]

The way you said this, it appears that you think when people use the word 'fish', it means that they like you? That's what comes across from your post.

Well, if that's the case, then know that you couldn't be more wrong. Fish is used more like a 'polite' insult.

Liking or disliking is different thing from FISH AND FISHING. May be the words "fish" and "fishing" are some sort of secret words that you don't like to be exposed. No problem, I'll be careful next time I post here.

[Pk_#2]

Huh!?

This is well weird, poKe!!!,

Now quit fishing about,

Is this thread about Jolie? Am totally cofooosed..

[Sahabiyaat]

i wish not to make an assumptions about the original poster, but akhee, you have provided very limited info, then when we ask queestions, you say dont ask them, and then you say give me an anwser....how?

limited info means limited anwser, you want us to help u , u help us.

but anyway,

Ive deduced that you want to commit suicude cuz uve done something wrong in your life or something wrong has happend to you and wish not to discuss this, you dont want people to become attached to you because of this nor have a bad image of you.

This girl (internet/real life) is beating around the bush because, leaving out the confusing term fish, either she likes you and has asked a friend to investigate you or that friend has investiagted and may have found out something of what you want to hide or is about to find out, so for either reasons you wanted her to stay away from you and so shunned her publically.

Now you feel guilty, and although you know shes got the message but you still want to apologise.So just do it. Worst can happen is shell tell you to stuff it but in the eyes of Allah you have tried your best and you can move on.


I pray whatever you wrote in italics, Allah eases your hardships, and if you ever change your mind and want to discuss it, just start a new thread as annonymous and do so.

[anonymous]

Let's assume it's not "fish" but "hsif".

Secondly, she never used the word fish in any of her post ever nor did I say that she used.

It's the third time that I'm requesting you to leave the leave the "fish" aside. The word "fish" is commonly understandable in "another" forum. And now I'm not in that forum. My bad! I used the word here.

Hope it makes it clear for you.

Is this thread about Jolie? Am totally cofooosed..

She isn't of this forum so please refrain from making things "fishy".

i wish not to make an assumptions about the original poster, but akhee, you have provided very limited info, then when we ask queestions, you say dont ask them, and then you say give me an anwser....how?

limited info means limited anwser, you want us to help u , u help us.

Ask away anything other the name of the forum or the nick of the girl. She has a right that her identity should be kept secret. I've already made a mistake, not interested in making another mistake.

Ive deduced that you want to commit suicude cuz uve done something wrong in your life or something wrong has happend to you and wish not to discuss this, you dont want people to become attached to you because of this nor have a bad image of you.

I never said that I WANT to commit suicide. Not now, may be tomorrow, may be an year after tomorrow. I'm not sure when I'm compelled to commit suicide. Don't forget the word COMPELLED. It's not in my hand. All depends upon others.

Whatever! it's OFF-TOPIC.

This girl (internet/real life) is beating around the bush because, leaving out the confusing term fish, either she likes you and has asked a friend to investigate you or that friend has investiagted and may have found out something of what you want to hide or is about to find out, so for either reasons you wanted her to stay away from you and so shunned her publically.

She is not beating about the bush anymore. She WAS beating about the bush. She won't even like to spit on me now, I'm sure about that. And this was what I wanted but later something in me started teasing me that I did a lot lot more than I should have done to make her realize that I wasn't the one for her.

Now you feel guilty, and although you know shes got the message but you still want to apologise.So just do it. Worst can happen is shell tell you to stuff it but in the eyes of Allah you have tried your best and you can move on.

I have PMed her. Asked her to make it clear what she wants. If she wants me to apologize publicly as I insulted her publicly. I'll do it. Why should I be timed? I did wrong,I'll have to put it right.

I pray whatever you wrote in italics, Allah eases your hardships, and if you ever change your mind and want to discuss it, just start a new thread as annonymous and do so.

Did I insult her being anonymous? Simply No!

Of what benefit were the words in italic? I wrote them in italic to make it clear that anything about them would be OFF-TOPIC.

[Zahida]

:sl: I am totally confused by you little one and sounds to me that you are confused toooo:w::-\

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum,
sorry to hear that your depressed about this situation with the girl.
First off, you should feel bad for hurting her, as this most likely could have been handled another way without hurting her. Communication and honesty off your true feelings of not being interested (said in a nice way) would have been a better approach. Women usually are more sensitive and maybe she got the wrong impression from you.
Anyway I know what's done is done but an apology to the girl might be in order to help ease any depression you might be having for behaving this way. Since your depression is caused by the situation.
Making peace with her, even if she doesn't respond and telling her your sorry and that you were jerk for behaving this way. This would be a start, then you would feel better and ease your conscious. Then just move on and concentrate on learning something positive, put your attention on your deen and make yourself a stronger and better person.
We all make mistakes, don't beat yourself up!! Smile and move on, don't dig yourself into a self pity hole!!!:)

[Sahabiyaat]

Of what benefit were the words in italic? I wrote them in italic to make it clear that anything about them would be OFF-TOPIC.

exaactly, of what benifit have they been?

u didnt want the italics commented on then u shudnt have written them

simple.