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Myrrh
11-08-2008, 07:47 AM
Hello! :)

How do you Muslims and Muslimahs feel about being friends with immodest people or being close to them? I think we should treat all people as we would want to be treated, but do you feel it's wrong to mostly stay away from immodest or immoral people?
I am a Christian, and I sometimes feel that I am somehow betraying God when I choose to stay away from such people. Any advice or opinions? :)
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Malaikah
11-08-2008, 08:24 AM
Hi,

That's a good question.

This is my approach. I'm not claiming it is correct, but it is what I do nonetheless.

People who I personally think are just way too overboard, I associate with them as much as I need to depending on my relationship with them. For example, if it is a person in my class I'll talk to them when I need to about course work related things.

I don't go out of my way to be friends with them or start conversation with them or associate with them in any other way, but if they approach me I am still friendly with them, not rude or anything. I still treat them as I am meant to, give them their due rights etc. I just don't seek to be best mates with them, and I totally think I am entitled to that.

At the end of the day, I don't like the things they do or the way they act and I don't want to associate with people like that especially if it will rub off on me or affect me. I don't see why I need to spend my time listening to people talking about how drunk they got at some party last weekend or how many 'chicks' they picked up and what not.

Thankfully this hasn't been a big problem for me so far though!
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Liberty
11-08-2008, 09:05 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Malaikah
I don't want to associate with people like that especially if it will rub off on me or affect me.
Good point.
I agree with mostly all the other things too.
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Danah
11-08-2008, 10:31 AM
I am trying to be very careful in choosing this kind of friends.
its right that we must not be with immodest friend, but who will help them and guide them if we dont ?
I think being careful to affect on the other positively but not be affected in return is the best and the most important thing to do
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Myrrh
11-08-2008, 10:26 PM
Thanks for all your help. I understand your words, and since I'm going back to college in the spring, I'll need to be more careful than I used to be. I think I'm too easy with making friends with immodest people, mostly because I feel bad for them and wish to guide them in being more modest. Like, I had this one "friend" who, even though she knew I was religious, would constantly say the "G-D" word, but I thought if I stuck it out with her, she would change. I'm still finding the balance between staying away from sin, and being an example for my Brothers and Sisters, however waywward they are....
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Ayesha Rana
11-08-2008, 10:31 PM
A man follows the way of life of his close friend so one should be careful about whom he chooses as a close friend.
Abu Daud i think




it's safer in my opinion not to get too close to them but if u want to befriend them to influence them to do good then make sure you don't get lured into immorality urself.
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Leyla73
11-08-2008, 10:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ayesha Rana
A man follows the way of life of his close friend so one should be careful about whom he chooses as a close friend.
Abu Daud i think




it's safer in my opinion not to get too close to them but if u want to befriend them to influence them to do good then make sure you don't get lured into immorality urself.
Yes, it's true. But why is it that YOU follow his way, and not HIM following his?
(Hope you understand what i mean=P)
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Leyla73
11-08-2008, 10:46 PM
Sorry,i meant, HIM following yours
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