Question regarding relationship

[AnonymousPoster]

Dear all Asslam o ALikum

my question is if a married couple , does not perform sexual intercourse , because the wife does not feel comfortable or does not feel any sexual desire etc .

" is there is a time frame in which, if the couple do not perform sexual intercourse ,the NIKHA becomes invalid "

Thanks

WalikumSlam

[Brother_Mujahid]

just say... your looking into getting a second wife.....

Should sort out any problems :)

another thing would be just to talk about it.

[S_87]

the marriage doesnt become invalid, but if i recall correctly the virgin has 7 days and non virgin 3 days for this at the beginning of the marriage.
this is deeper than just a case of 'this and that needs to be done.' both husband and wife need to talk about it and the main reason for the wifes problem.

[Brother_Mujahid]

the marriage doesnt become invalid, but if i recall correctly the virgin has 7 days and non virgin 3 days for this at the beginning of the marriage.

But what if the wife is on her period... 3 days? the average duration is 4.5 days.

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[AnonymousPoster]

But what if the wife is on her period... 3 days? the average duration is 4.5 days.

No the average is 7

I don't get what you said sister, Im not the original Poster btw.

[Brother_Mujahid]

No the average is 7

maybe i read here it was 4.5

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/reprint/322/7...urcetype=HWCIT

it states

Participants 178 women were screened and 170 were
evaluated (active 86; placebo 84). Mean age was 36
years, mean cycle length was 28 days, mean duration
of menses was 4.5 days.

okay so maybe it is 7 and the mean of 4.5 was only for the 178 women included in the trial...

[AnonymousPoster]

maybe i read here it was 4.5

http://www.bmj.com/cgi/reprint/322/7...urcetype=HWCIT

it states



okay so maybe it is 7 and the mean of 4.5 was only for the 178 women included in the trial...

It's definitely not 4.5 brother. I think it's 7, I'm a woman, :-[ I must be right,

But the sister mentioned the virgin and non Virgin thing, did you understand that?

Please explain Amani.

[S_87]

But what if the wife is on her period... 3 days? the average duration is 4.5 days.

thats different and is then haraam but generally when all is ok, 3 days-7 days

[AnonymousPoster]

thats different and is then haraam but generally when all is ok, 3 days-7 days

Huh *Passes out* Even if he's alright with it.

Anon2

[S_87]

Huh *Passes out* Even if he's alright with it.

Anon2

you mean intercourse doing a womans period? totally Haraam even if husband and wife find it alright

[AnonymousPoster]

you mean intercourse doing a womans period? totally Haraam even if husband and wife find it alright

No, no, that's that part I understood, what were you talking about here:

but if i recall correctly the virgin has 7 days and non virgin 3 days for this at the beginning of the marriage.

[S_87]

oh thats for when they first get married. If the husband doesnt mind waiting longer, thats a different issue...

[AnonymousPoster]

oh thats for when they first get married. If the husband doesnt mind waiting longer, thats a different issue...

Phew! :exhausted Girl you give me a heart attack, thanks for clarification, don't kill me next time =P

[islamirama]

Firstly, nikkah is not invalid. I have not read anything or heard of anything of that sort.

2ndly,if there is an intimacy problem in the marriage then it should be looked at and resolved lest it leads to haraam actions on somebody's part.

3rdly, it doesn't matter what is the average time of menstruation for the women, one is to abstain from intercourse during that time frame.

4thly, This 7 day and 3 day rule must be somebody's suggestion or advice or what not. I don't recall anything in Sunnah regarding this. What I do recall reading is that a new wife gets 7 days with the husband in a polygamy.

As for consummation of marriage, I don't think there is set of numbers on when it must be done. I do recall reading scholars saying that it is dependent upon each individual couple. Everyone should move at their own comfort level.

There is false information rampant in some Muslim countries saying ignorant things like your nikkah breaks if you don't consumate the wedding night, or if you do it before the walima, or some other nonesense leaving the newly weds ina pickle. Therefore, it's wise for everyone to study Islam before getting married so they have better idea of what they are getting into and how to go about it inshallah.

[Zahida]

:sl: A very delicate situation, which you should discuss with your wife. You need to ask her why she is like this,and then rectify the problem. Marraige should not be based on sex. There are other more important issues for marraige other than sex. The way i see it it is personal, should not be discussed and is between husband and wife. If they have issues they should talk about it and then come to a mutual resolve about the problem.

About the consumation bit......... That is also just oldwives tales there is no truth in it. Read the Quran and it guides you about the rights/wrongs.

May Allah guide you Ameen:bump1:.:w: