Pls help me I'm going mad!!

[AnonymousPoster]

I can't tell you what exactly this is about, but I'm going through so much heartache and deep depression. I think the shaytan has taken over me. :enough!:

Please give me some affective Dua’s which will help me move on from someone, to get over someone. To not have them in my thoughts every second of everyday, to not think about them in someone else’s arms, to not want them and need them desperately, to not have them haunting my thoughts while I’m praying. :exhausted :enough!: :exhausted :enough!:


Please someone help me move on before I do something really stupid!!!! :enough!: :cry: :enough!: :cry: :exhausted

[noorahmad]

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahlan wa Anta taj'alul hazna idha shi'ta sahlan.(Oh Allah there is no ease other than what You make easy, If You please you make even despondency easy.)
Ibn hibban no 2427, An Nawawi, kitab-ul-Adhkar-pg 106.

Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minal hammi wal hazani, wal 'ajzi, wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa dala'id daini wa ghalabatir rijaal.
Oh Allah i seek refuge in you from despondency and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from perversion of faith and from the domination of others.( bukhari 7/158)

Allahumma Rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ainin, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaha illa Anta.
Oh Allah, i hope for your mercy. Do not tire me of me even for a moment. place all my affair in order. there is no God but you.(Abu dawud 4/324)

[Zahida]

:sl: Feel bad for your situation. May Allah have Mercy on you and ease your pains and difficulties. Ameen......... I find that continuous recitation of 'Ya-hey-yo,ya- ka-you-moh-, beh- ra-maa-tika-,as-ta gheeso' helps (my spelling is not good but i hope you understand the dua that i mean):w::w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

lol its just a geezah, you'll get over it ;D

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[yasin ibn Ahmad]

:sl:
You should read this
http://www.nur.gen.tr/en.html#leftme...Ad=The+Flashes

It will be helpful inshaallah.

[yasin ibn Ahmad]

http://www.nur.gen.tr/en.html#leftme...Ad=The+Flashes

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
your not going mad, you just think you are

I can't tell you what exactly this is about, but I'm going through so much heartache and deep depression. I think the shaytan has taken over me. :enough!:

Only if you want him too

Please give me some affective Dua’s which will help me move on from someone, to get over someone. To not have them in my thoughts every second of everyday, to not think about them in someone else’s arms, to not want them and need them desperately, to not have them haunting my thoughts while I’m praying. :exhausted :enough!: :exhausted :enough!:

Im not sure if there are any specific duas to help, but just complain to Allah to remove your sorrow. And try to keep yourself preoccupied with other things.

Please someone help me move on before I do something really stupid!!!! :enough!: :cry: :enough!: :cry: :exhausted

No, you will NOT do anything stupid. What you do and how you choose to deal with this, is totally upto you. but doNOT do anything stupid.

im probably not helping, but anyways :hiding:

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
You should read this
http://www.nur.gen.tr/en.html#leftme...Ad=The+Flashes

It will be helpful inshaallah.

I can't open this. Pls post it again.

[Tanya Khan]

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahlan wa Anta taj'alul hazna idha shi'ta sahlan.(Oh Allah there is no ease other than what You make easy, If You please you make even despondency easy.)
Ibn hibban no 2427, An Nawawi, kitab-ul-Adhkar-pg 106.

Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minal hammi wal hazani, wal 'ajzi, wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa dala'id daini wa ghalabatir rijaal.
Oh Allah i seek refuge in you from despondency and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from perversion of faith and from the domination of others.( bukhari 7/158)

Allahumma Rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ainin, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaha illa Anta.
Oh Allah, i hope for your mercy. Do not tire me of me even for a moment. place all my affair in order. there is no God but you.(Abu dawud 4/324)

:sl:

These will be good for me too. I need them. Thank you.

[AnonymousPoster]

lol its just a geezah, you'll get over it ;D

How can you say it like that? Have you ever been heartbroken? Have you ever felt the pain of being cheated on, feeling used and abused? The pain of someone leaving you for another?

If you have, then you wouldn't be saying it like it's just a slap on the rist I'm going through. :cry:

['Abdul Rahmaan]

I can understand how much you're depressed. Spend much of your time with some intimate friends of your. It helps a lot in getting rid of depression. I dunno what else I can say.

[maryam87]

I can't tell you what exactly this is about, but I'm going through so much heartache and deep depression. I think the shaytan has taken over me. :enough!:

Please give me some affective Dua’s which will help me move on from someone, to get over someone. To not have them in my thoughts every second of everyday, to not think about them in someone else’s arms, to not want them and need them desperately, to not have them haunting my thoughts while I’m praying. :exhausted :enough!: :exhausted :enough!:


Please someone help me move on before I do something really stupid!!!! :enough!: :cry: :enough!: :cry: :exhausted

Reading this makes me depressed :enough!:
I guess if your relationship with this guy was is a halal way as in ur married then i understand ur frustation
However if it wasnt then honestly what were u expecting from him?????? :-\

[buddy1]

Keep Busy, Im lucky in the sense that i havent een through what you are going through but my top tips are

1- keep busy
2 - keep smiling
3 - Keep your chin up and be brave!
4 - smash your rear view coz there is no need to look back!!

smile smile smile, there is someone always alot worse off than you, you just dont think there is right now! but you'll see.

big love! xxx

[Cabdullahi]

brother.... be patient and keep asking allah for guidance read the quran after fajr and before you sleep and just do dhikr and inshallah this will ease the problem....

If you are interested in someone then why dont you go ahead and try ur luck!

[maryam87]

brother.... be patient and keep asking allah for guidance read the quran after fajr and before you sleep and just do dhikr and inshallah this will ease the problem....

If you are interested in someone then why dont you go ahead and try ur luck!

???? funny i would have pictured the OP to be a female. Would never have thought men could ever get that emotional :-[

[Cabdullahi]

^We are not robots we have feelings too! but inshallah i hope the postee recovers ameen

[maryam87]

^We are not robots we have feelings too! but inshallah i hope the postee recovers ameen

LOL, sorry :-[

[IbnAbdulHakim]

How can you say it like that? Have you ever been heartbroken? Have you ever felt the pain of being cheated on, feeling used and abused? The pain of someone leaving you for another?

If you have, then you wouldn't be saying it like it's just a slap on the rist I'm going through. :cry:

well if you thought like me you wouldnt be feeling the pain your feeling right now.


you'd be all happy and smiley :D !


so try your best to think his just another geezah, stop giving him all this light he doesnt deserve


look i do sypmathise but honestly brother/sister, this person doesnt deserve it, his just another person, your husband/wife might deserve it but NOT this person! if i was you i know for a fact i would just think "his/her loss" ... honestly hold yourself in higher value! he lost out NOT YOU so why YOU cryin?

[be sensible]

i sympathise you with the situation dont know how your relationship was with this person but if you were planning to get married to each other than it must be hard.

Take each step at a time concentrate on your self and ways in which you can help your self get better. Time is a great reliever with time you will get through this. At the moment it may seem hard but try not to think about it try to keep positive.

When we look back it only makes us fall its only when we look forward that gives us hope. Just remmember everything that happenes their is always a reason behind it a wisdom which we cannot see only Allah has the power to know whats right for us and whats bad for us. If this person hasnt treated you well maybe they dont deserve someone like you. Perserve patience and subr allah knows whats in our hearts our thoughts and are aware of our actions. Allah will reward you for your efforts always remember your duas are your ultimate weapon to recovery. Pour your hearts out to Allah and ask allah to give you courage and strength and believe me with time you will and i mean you will see the difference thats a guarantee from me to you.

Take every anger every frustration as a challenge takle it as an opportunity to turn your life around. Dont ever let the challenges of the world bring you or your confidence down.

We may not always get what we want in life but believe there is always a reason for that im sure you heard of the saying sometimes what seems good for may actually be bad for you and what seems bad for you may actually be good for you. Life does not always go the same way life has balance of good and bad so remember after every hardship there always comes ease. So try to be strong and patient and inshallah good things will come to you.

Look after your self and be strong

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

I can't tell you what exactly this is about, but I'm going through so much heartache and deep depression. I think the shaytan has taken over me. :enough!:

Please give me some affective Dua’s which will help me move on from someone, to get over someone. To not have them in my thoughts every second of everyday, to not think about them in someone else’s arms, to not want them and need them desperately, to not have them haunting my thoughts while I’m praying. :exhausted :enough!: :exhausted :enough!:


Please someone help me move on before I do something really stupid!!!! :enough!: :cry: :enough!: :cry: :exhausted

:sl:

If you're positive that you two cannot be together in the halal way, then the only solution is forgetting. Believe me, I know it's very hard, it's one of the hardest things to do..but if you really want to move on..you have no other way. Some really good dua's were mentioned above..so make use of them.

[suffiyan007]

say ayatul kursi...and make du'a read some ayat yasin...zikr.

[AnonymousPoster]

This is not getting easier for me, I'm going mental I really I am :enough!: I seriously think there is something wrong with me. :-\ :enough!:

Is it gunnah if I went to see someone for help? As in an Alim or someone practising who might be able to tell me what the problem is and why i keep going through this torture over guys and not having any self-control. I know we are not supposed to, and we are only supposed to trust, depend and seek help from Allah (swt) but I don;t know what to do, I can't even get these wild tortureous thoughts out of my head during namaz.

Pls someone advise me.

[Cabdullahi]

Sister every1 goes thru this...the devil has one aim and it that aim is to make you have a tendency to do bad things and to protect yourself against this attack is simple because islam is the antidote.....if you read the qura'an everyday even if its ten minutes ,also watching lectures and praying salat all this will help you recover....

[AnonymousPoster]

Please give me some affective Dua’s which will help me move on from someone, to get over someone. To not have them in my thoughts every second of everyday, to not think about them in someone else’s arms, to not want them and need them desperately, to not have them haunting my thoughts while I’m praying. :exhausted :enough!: :exhausted :enough!:

ouch!
Ta'awudh as much you can especially when praying.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender; I am so sorry to hear about your heartache,

Coping with life is probably ten percent about the events that happen in your life that you have no control over. Leaving ninety percent as to how you react and cope with these problems afterwards.

Your ex, has not made you a victim, you have given him permission to make yourself a victim, it is in your hands to take control over your own heart and life.

Being a victim stops you getting out of bed in the morning and doing the day to day stuff of life, you loose the will and purpose to continue. No one should have that power over you.

Bereavement is coping with a loss, and however much time you spent with your ex on a daily basis; you have to fill that time with something else worthwhile. Pray, do voluntary work, help someone else with a need, take your mind of your own problems by taking on the problems of another individual.

Only time heals and you need to cope with life always one day at a time, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery. Lord grant me the peace and serenity to get through today.

Do not hold anger in your heart towards yourself or your ex, learn to forgive and you will find peace.

In the spirit of praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

[Tanya Khan]

Just pray InshahAllah evrything will be fine.

[AnonymousPoster]

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahlan wa Anta taj'alul hazna idha shi'ta sahlan.(Oh Allah there is no ease other than what You make easy, If You please you make even despondency easy.)
Ibn hibban no 2427, An Nawawi, kitab-ul-Adhkar-pg 106.

Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minal hammi wal hazani, wal 'ajzi, wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa dala'id daini wa ghalabatir rijaal.
Oh Allah i seek refuge in you from despondency and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from perversion of faith and from the domination of others.( bukhari 7/158)

Allahumma Rahmataka arju fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata 'ainin, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaha illa Anta.
Oh Allah, i hope for your mercy. Do not tire me of me even for a moment. place all my affair in order. there is no God but you.(Abu dawud 4/324)

:sl:

Thank you.

Can I read this off paper or do I need to memorise them? Will it be the same effect? I can't memorise nothing right now because my mind is so occupied with mentaly disturbing thoughts. So I an only read them off paper. :cry:

[AnonymousPoster]

Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender; I am so sorry to hear about your heartache,

Coping with life is probably ten percent about the events that happen in your life that you have no control over. Leaving ninety percent as to how you react and cope with these problems afterwards.

Your ex, has not made you a victim, you have given him permission to make yourself a victim, it is in your hands to take control over your own heart and life.

Being a victim stops you getting out of bed in the morning and doing the day to day stuff of life, you loose the will and purpose to continue. No one should have that power over you.
Bereavement is coping with a loss, and however much time you spent with your ex on a daily basis; you have to fill that time with something else worthwhile. Pray, do voluntary work, help someone else with a need, take your mind of your own problems by taking on the problems of another individual.

Only time heals and you need to cope with life always one day at a time, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery. Lord grant me the peace and serenity to get through today.

Do not hold anger in your heart towards yourself or your ex, learn to forgive and you will find peace.

In the spirit of praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

:sl: Thank you for replying.

I don't understand how I've given him the permission to make myself a victim? Did I know this was going to happen? imsad

I am so deeply depressed that i can't cope even at work, I can't even take time off because I'm scared of being on my own at home, I'll go even crazier. I can't stop these thoughts, I'm going mad. I feel like I am going to collapse. :exhausted

['Abdul Rahmaan]

It happens with everyone. I mean, we can't fight with thoughts, can we? The best we can do is try to ignore them at all. You'll feel it difficult to ignore such thoughts in the beginning but with some practice you'll be able to get control over them God willing. :)

[AnonymousPoster]

Sister every1 goes thru this...the devil has one aim and it that aim is to make you have a tendency to do bad things and to protect yourself against this attack is simple because islam is the antidote.....if you read the qura'an everyday even if its ten minutes ,also watching lectures and praying salat all this will help you recover....

:sl:

Thank you for replying.

I know what your saying that readin Qur'an will make me feel better, but need these thoughts of him to go away, far far away from me. :enough!:

I'm not patient at all, how can I be when I am burning inside, it is eating me up that he has left me for someone else. :cry:

This is gunnah that i was with him and not even married to him, but you can't help things in this day and age. I want to ask for forgiveness for what I have done, but when I pray it doesn't come from my heart when I say dua, I feel so weak that this man that I am crazy about never had any feelings for me and lead me up his path of betrayal. How does someone ever move on from that? How? :cry:

[AnonymousPoster]

It happens with everyone. I mean, we can't fight with thoughts, can we? The best we can do is try to ignore them at all. You'll feel it difficult to ignore such thoughts in the beginning but with some practice you'll be able to get control over them God willing. :)

But I am so impatient, how do I wait for help? This is so so bad that not one of you on this forum will understand the pain, grief and sadness that I'm going through. My chaest feels heavy, My body looks like a stick because I can't eat anything, i've tried believe me, but I feel sick, whatever I eat, it feels like I'm eating rocks!!! I need patience, but I haven't got it.

['Abdul Rahmaan]

But I am so impatient

Being impatient isn't a solution, is it?

how do I wait for help?

You don't have another option, have you?

This is so so bad that not one of you on this forum will understand the pain, grief and sadness that I'm going through.

We can't feel the same pain, grief and sadness but we can understand to some extant that how much paint, grief and sadness you're going through as you've explained it quite clearly.

My chaest feels heavy, My body looks like a stick because I can't eat anything, i've tried believe me, but I feel sick, whatever I eat, it feels like I'm eating rocks!!!

Nothing's wrong with you. Problem is that you are thinking negatively. There's always a solution of every problem. All we have to do is to get committed to ourselves to find it.

I need patience, but I haven't got it.

Look sister, just be strong OK!. I mean, don't talk like this continuously. Every time you talk like this, your though gets stronger that you can't deal with the situation. You can.

YOU DO HAVE PATIENCE. JUST LEARN TO BE PATIENT. :thumbs_up

Don't be dis-heart OK! Once I got such depressed and I discussed it with someone. I was told that:

ALLAH TAA'ALA DOES NOT PUT A BURDEN ON SOMEONE BEYOND THEIR CAPACITY TO BEAR IT.

SO YOU CAN BEAR THE PAIN, GRIEF AND SADNESS COZ ALLAH TAA'ALA DOES NOT TELL A LIE. :)

[AnonymousPoster]

But I am so impatient, how do I wait for help? This is so so bad that not one of you on this forum will understand the pain, grief and sadness that I'm going through. My chaest feels heavy, My body looks like a stick because I can't eat anything, i've tried believe me, but I feel sick, whatever I eat, it feels like I'm eating rocks!!! I need patience, but I haven't got it.

Believe it or not there are others going through the same, though everyone handles things differently the heavy chest and loss of apetite thing will go away, though personally that made me happy because i lost loads without dieting! Though maybe too much but Alhumdulillah
And you do have patience even if you dont know it. Its whats getting you up in the morning even though you probably feel even thats not worth it. the pain itself may take a long time to go away, though you'll be half your normal self again soon Insha Allah

May Allah make your affairs easy for you. And never underestimate the power of Dua.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

But I am so impatient, how do I wait for help?

You won’t learn about patience today, or tomorrow, or next month, but in two or three years time you may start to learn a little about patience.

This is so so bad that not one of you on this forum will understand the pain, grief and sadness that I'm going through.

Sadly you are the only one who will experience grief from this broken relationship. Although I experienced something very much the same as you about thirty five years ago, it took a long time for me to learn patience.

You can get over this and become a kinder and stronger person, the solution is always about finding the strength to get through today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric

[F0z14]

AsalaamAlakyum brother/sister. hope u are in good wealth and eeman. im so sorry to hear about your pain, and understand that i do know how u feel. i pray that Allah swt relieves u from all the heartache u are feeling.

u are letting this affect u, by not taking control of urself. from past experiences i have learnt that people can offer u kind words, which help but only for a little while. the only one that can relieve u from this pain and heartache is Allah swt alone. believe me when i say this. i remember myself a few months ago seeking help from any1 who would listen, dont get me wrong we are all here 4 u, but only Allah can grant u ease. u know what, thank Allah swt for saving u from so much haraam. Alhamdulilah. i knw heartache hurts so much, but if you jus accept this pain as a blessing in disguise u will really benefit from it. trust me. ive been there. and u know what, now i am fully practicising and i have the opportunity to repent to Allah for all my previous sins. alhamdulilah. lifes too short and precious to worry about things, things that are haraam and not in our control.
no1 in this world is worth ur Hereafter, so dont let any1 affect you. if u ever need to talk everybody here is here 4 u, but the most practical advice i can give u is ti trully let go. i know how hard it can be, but jus pray to Allah to make it easy for you, and inshAllah He will help you.

please take care of urself, your worth more than this. plz dont let any1 make u feel this low, no1 is worth the pain

a beautiful sis once told me, Allah swt takes away from you, what takes u away from Him...

[F0z14]

sorry sis i jus read ur previous posts. u can PM me anytime. sis hes not worth it, Allah swt saved u from further pain!

[Argamemnon]

This is so so bad that not one of you on this forum will understand the pain, grief and sadness that I'm going through.

If it makes you feel any better; I've been feeling severely depressed since 2001. I suffer so much, that despite being a strong believer, I have been contemplating suicide since 2006. It is very wrong for a Muslim to think like this, but every night I go to sleep I hope I never wake up..

The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the fear of punishment in the Hereafter. Because of my chronic depression and anxiety, I will probably never experience love and marriage in my life. Moreover, I don't have friends or people I can talk to either (except my parents). I fear living in social isolation for the rest of my life, and dying as a very sad and lonely man.

Please don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that you are suffering, but as you can see there are people who are much worse off.. I hope that you will overcome this terrible sadness or depression. Unfortunately, I know very well how awful mental suffering is...

[maryam87]

Ok maybe i dont understand anything cause ive never have fallen in love before and got my heart crashed but i dont seem to understand why people go depressed ova things that were haram to begin with!!!!!
I mean whats more depressing leaving u or going to hell cause of ur sins that u committed to gain couple of days of pleasure??????????
I cant seem to comprehend this plz dont get offended but there is much more important things u should be thinking about then a guy who doesnt deserve u.
Ur only cure is to listen to lectures about what happens when u die, the rememberence of death should refreshen ur heart and make u realise u need to spend more time asking Allah (swt) to forgive u rather than still thinking bout a worthless guy!!!!!!!!

[Argamemnon]

I totally agree with Maryam. Most of our problems arise from our weak imaan! Even I myself, despite suffering mentally, remember feeling jealous of some of my relatives who have beautiful wives (for example).

I had to deal with harmful thoughts like; "Allah, what have I ever done to you that I live this pathetic life, while other men have wives and enjoy life at its fullest". Thoughts like these are a result of having a weak imaan, no doubt.

[maryam87]

If it makes you feel any better; I've been feeling severely depressed since 2001. I suffer so much, that despite being a strong believer, I have been contemplating suicide since 2006. It is very wrong for a Muslim to think like this, but every night I go to sleep I hope I never wake up..

The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the fear of punishment in the Hereafter. Because of my chronic depression and anxiety, I will probably never experience love and marriage in my life. Moreover, I don't have friends or people I can talk to either (except my parents). I fear living in social isolation for the rest of my life, and dying as a very sad and lonely man.

Please don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that you are suffering, but as you can see there are people who are much worse off.. I hope that you will overcome this terrible sadness or depression. Unfortunately, I know very well how awful mental suffering is...

U dont have to answer this if u dont want to, but what are u diagnosed with? u seems to have extremely low self esteem brother why??

[Argamemnon]

U dont have to answer this if u dont want to, but what are u diagnosed with? u seems to have extremely low self esteem brother why??

Clinical depression, but I know I have social anxiety too, and even generalized anxiety. Low self-esteem is a consequence in my opinion. Mental illness runs in my family.. my younger brother committed suicide in 2002 (he had schizophrenia). And in Turkey two sons of my mother's uncle had also committed suicide (and another one is mentally ill as well).

[maryam87]

Clinical depression, but I know I have social anxiety too, and even generalized anxiety. Low self-esteem is a consequence in my opinion. Mental illness runs in my family.. my younger brother committed suicide in 2002 (he had schizophrenia). And in Turkey two sons of my mother's uncle had also committed suicide (and another one is mentally ill as well).

:cry::exhaustedimsad
sorry to hear :cry::cry:

[S_87]

Ok maybe i dont understand anything cause ive never have fallen in love before and got my heart crashed but i dont seem to understand why people go depressed ova things that were haram to begin with!!!!!
I mean whats more depressing leaving u or going to hell cause of ur sins that u committed to gain couple of days of pleasure??????????
I cant seem to comprehend this plz dont get offended but there is much more important things u should be thinking about then a guy who doesnt deserve u.
Ur only cure is to listen to lectures about what happens when u die, the rememberence of death should refreshen ur heart and make u realise u need to spend more time asking Allah (swt) to forgive u rather than still thinking bout a worthless guy!!!!!!!!

what you say is true sis but check this thread out :hiding:

http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...ml#post1046973

[AnonymousPoster]

Clinical depression, but I know I have social anxiety too, and even generalized anxiety. Low self-esteem is a consequence in my opinion. Mental illness runs in my family.. my younger brother committed suicide in 2002 (he had schizophrenia). And in Turkey two sons of my mother's uncle had also committed suicide (and another one is mentally ill as well).

I'm so sorry to hear that. :cry:

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

If it makes you feel any better; I've been feeling severely depressed since 2001. I suffer so much, that despite being a strong believer, I have been contemplating suicide since 2006. It is very wrong for a Muslim to think like this, but every night I go to sleep I hope I never wake up..

The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the fear of punishment in the Hereafter. Because of my chronic depression and anxiety, I will probably never experience love and marriage in my life. Moreover, I don't have friends or people I can talk to either (except my parents). I fear living in social isolation for the rest of my life, and dying as a very sad and lonely man.

Please don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that you are suffering, but as you can see there are people who are much worse off.. I hope that you will overcome this terrible sadness or depression. Unfortunately, I know very well how awful mental suffering is...

:sl:

Sorry to here the state your in, and know it doesn't make me feel better. :(

What is it that makes you depressed?

[AnonymousPoster]

Thank you all for replying. I know you will think I'm going round in circles here, but it's so hard to take the advice when all my common sense is gone out of the window, my brain is not working and I am have no self control.

I'm trying to get up and go to work in the mornings but I have no strength and courage to even get up and face life, when I get to work I am like a living dead girl. I am empty and my whole body is knumb with, anger, emotion, treacherous pain, anxiety and depression.

All i can think if is getting him back for cheating on me. Yes, I know revenge is forbidden in Islam and I should forgive him, but I cannot do that I just can't!

Yesterday i thought I would never find out who the other girl was, but you know what, Alhumdulillah, I have got her phone number (to make a long story short) I knew someone in the same area as him and the girl he's seeing lives there too, she's 19/20 very young where as I am in my late twenties and he is early twenties.

I can't live like this, I can't live with the fact that he has destroyed me and walked away unscathed. Now that I have got that girls details, I will meet her and tell her that he's been seeing the both of us for the same amount of time and he has been lying to us.

I know for a fact he loves her and your probably thinking why am I bothering doing this to them, but I am not putting up with him ruining my life and I'm so hurt by all this. I can't forget this until she knows, yes she might even take him back, but at least she won't trust him.

I'm going mental and burning inside every day and night thinking they are together and I am suffering so much. I have no one, but he had her to fall back on, I am destroyed while they are living happily in love. :enough!:

[AnonymousPoster]

By the way, a random question - what does it mean exactly when people say "and be in Sajdah (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah." while making Dua.

Does this mean during the namaz? Or after when u have finished can u go into sujood and do your dua? or does it have to be in the middle of the namaz as ud normally go down into sujood, because I thought u have to only concentrate on your namaz while praying and do dua at the end?

[Snowflake]

My thoughts are with you dear whoever you maybe..
There are probably 101 things a person can do to recover from what you're going through, but the best and quickest of all i find is reciting/listening to al-Quran, getting on your hands and knees (sujood) and crying your heart out to Allah to help you get over it.

It's simply a matter of making that effort to do it. InshaAllah it won't fail.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

I'm going mental and burning inside every day and night thinking they are together and I am suffering so much.

You have described anger very much like this Buddhist saying.

Anger is like picking up a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at the person you are angry with.

The person who gets burned the most is the one picking up the coal, the longer you hold onto your anger the hotter the coal becomes in your hand.

You stay awake at night plotting and getting more angry inside at the injustice, and it eats away at you, it makes you more bitter and twisted. All the time you hold this anger in your mind, the other person controls you, they control what is going on in your head, and you can’t do a thing about it.

The worst thing about anger is that the person you are angry with is probably oblivious of the harm they are causing you.

Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the other person, firstly it is to take away all the feelings of injustice and anger that burn away in your mind. It is a way of letting go, you do not have to pick up this coal to burn yourself.

You do not have to be angry, it is your choice

If you really must tell his current girlfriend that he has been going out with both of you at the same time, then do not do it when you are feeling angry. Like the prophet pbuh said if you are angry standing then sit down, if you are angry sitting then lay down. Do not go round to this woman for a showdown be as kind to her as you can, do not shout and accuse.

If you click on the following link there are many stories of people forgiving, murder, torture, rape, war crimes etc. The more stories you read the more you come to understand the power behind forgiveness. Spend an hour reading, it will be the best way you can spend an hour in your present state of mind.

http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/stories/eric-lomax

in the spirit of praying for the power to forgive.

Eric

[Argamemnon]

:sl:

:sl:

Sorry to here the state your in, and know it doesn't make me feel better. :(

What is it that makes you depressed?

:sl:

If only I knew, but I know exactly how you feel when you say that you are a "living dead girl". I've been feeling like that for years, I feel your pain. It is impossible to explain to people who haven't felt like that before.

[Ansariyah]

If it makes you feel any better; I've been feeling severely depressed since 2001. I suffer so much, that despite being a strong believer, I have been contemplating suicide since 2006. It is very wrong for a Muslim to think like this, but every night I go to sleep I hope I never wake up..

The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is the fear of punishment in the Hereafter. Because of my chronic depression and anxiety, I will probably never experience love and marriage in my life. Moreover, I don't have friends or people I can talk to either (except my parents). I fear living in social isolation for the rest of my life, and dying as a very sad and lonely man.

Please don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that you are suffering, but as you can see there are people who are much worse off.. I hope that you will overcome this terrible sadness or depression. Unfortunately, I know very well how awful mental suffering is...

:cry: Brother pls don't kill yourself. May Allah grant you happiness ameen. Don't give up hoping for a better tomorrow. Allah can change your fate, pls read the story of Prophet ayub (as), how everything was taken away from him but soon after Allah restored it.

[Saimah Ali]

Thank you all for replying. I know you will think I'm going round in circles here, but it's so hard to take the advice when all my common sense is gone out of the window, my brain is not working and I am have no self control.

I'm trying to get up and go to work in the mornings but I have no strength and courage to even get up and face life, when I get to work I am like a living dead girl. I am empty and my whole body is knumb with, anger, emotion, treacherous pain, anxiety and depression.

All i can think if is getting him back for cheating on me. Yes, I know revenge is forbidden in Islam and I should forgive him, but I cannot do that I just can't!

Yesterday i thought I would never find out who the other girl was, but you know what, Alhumdulillah, I have got her phone number (to make a long story short) I knew someone in the same area as him and the girl he's seeing lives there too, she's 19/20 very young where as I am in my late twenties and he is early twenties.

I can't live like this, I can't live with the fact that he has destroyed me and walked away unscathed. Now that I have got that girls details, I will meet her and tell her that he's been seeing the both of us for the same amount of time and he has been lying to us.

I know for a fact he loves her and your probably thinking why am I bothering doing this to them, but I am not putting up with him ruining my life and I'm so hurt by all this. I can't forget this until she knows, yes she might even take him back, but at least she won't trust him.

I'm going mental and burning inside every day and night thinking they are together and I am suffering so much. I have no one, but he had her to fall back on, I am destroyed while they are living happily in love. :enough!:

Sis, only you can help yourself... Heartbreak does not finish that easily...

[Zahida]

:sl: I have just taken sometime to read this thread and its replies. This situation makes me soo sad, that one human being is relying on another human being so much to the point of self destruction........imsad very sad.

I would like to ask the thread poster a question. Please forgive my brashness, but what would you do if tomorrow he died? (may Allah forgive me)........:w:

[Tanya Khan]

How you feeling now> Any different?

[AnonymousPoster]

Well, I would have to forcefully move on, but that's not the point, he is here in this world and I'm still dealing with the pain of his betrayal. imsad

[zaahid]

Dear Brothers! It is of the law of Allah to test his servants with different kinds of tribulations. The Almighty says:

“And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones. Who when afflicted with calamity say: Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. blessings, e.t.c.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.” (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157).