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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-12-2008, 05:11 AM
:sl:

On the authority of al-Asma‘ī, that he said, “I was once walking in the village when I came across a stone. Someone had written on it:

أيا معشر العشاق بالله خبروا **** إذا حل عشق بالفتى كيف يصنع
O lovers! By Allah, tell me!
If a young man is overcome by love, what should he do?

So I wrote underneath it:

يداوي هواه ثم يكتم سره **** ويخشع في كل الأمور ويخضع
Let him treat his desire, then conceal his secret
And humble himself in every matter and submit (before his Lord)

I returned the next day and I found written underneath it:

فكيف يداوي والهوى قاتل الفتى **** وفي كل يوم قلبه يتقطع
But how can it be treated when that desire fights the man
And every day his heart is torn to pieces?!

So I wrote underneath it:

إذا لم يجد صبراً لكتمان سره **** فليس له شيء سوى الموت أنفع
If he is unable to be patient with concealing his secret
Then there is nothing for him except death that will benefit!

I then returned on the third day to find a young man lying dead at the stone. I said, ‘Lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā billāhil-‘Alī’l-‘Adhīm!’ and found that he had written before his death:

سمعنا , أطعنا , ثم متنا فبلغوا **** سلامي إلى من كان للوصل يمنع
We have heard and we have obeyed; now we have died so tell everyone
My salām to the one who prevented me from attaining her.

(Narrated by al-Abshīhī in al-Mustatrif, 1/410)


So dear brothers and sisters, next time we give advice to such people, just remember you’re dealing with hearts full of love not vessels full of stone.

Now a little about al-Imam, al-Hafidh: Al-Asma‘ī.

Al-Asma‘ī was one of the early Imams and leading scholars of Arabic, Grammar and Poetry. He narrated from some of the greatest scholars in Islam such as Imām Mālik, Imām al-Shāfi‘ī, Ibn ‘Awn, Ibn Abi’l-Zinād, ‘Atā b. Abi Rabāh, Hammād b. Salamah, Shu‘bah and many others.

He was praised by the major Imams of the Salaf, including Imām Ahmed, Imām al-Shāfi‘ī and Ibn Ma‘īn who said about him, “Asma‘ī is the most knowledgeable of all in his field.”

Read completely here.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-12-2008, 01:43 PM
whoah...im sure the imaam never saw that coming :uuh:



subhanAllaah what a test love is....
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yasin ibn Ahmad
11-12-2008, 05:47 PM
did he kill himself or died of his misery?
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-12-2008, 10:54 PM
:sl:

^ I believe it's the latter.
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Na7lah
11-12-2008, 11:01 PM
:muddlehea subhanallah *shows us to be more cautious when giving advice
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syilla
11-13-2008, 02:07 AM
Jazakallah khayr...

i should remind myself...next time if i meet any teenagers or youth who is falling in love... i should be easy on them :)
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MO783
11-13-2008, 07:33 PM
:sl:

Jazakallah for this,

yes love can be a good and a bad thing unfortunately. Just shows when we give advice, we should know what we are giving advice up on. Better to keep silent though.
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yasin ibn Ahmad
11-13-2008, 07:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
Jazakallah khayr...

i should remind myself...next time if i meet any teenagers or youth who is falling in love... i should be easy on them :)
I think "love" in the story is love of Allah not ones loving a human being
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-13-2008, 08:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by yasin ibn Ahmad
I think "love" in the story is love of Allah not ones loving a human being
:sl:

It's definitely about a young man who really loved a girl. The last line says:
My salām to the one who prevented me from attaining her.
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Al-Zaara
11-15-2008, 01:04 PM
We have heard and we have obeyed; now we have died so tell everyone
Who are the 'we'? Did he commit suicide or die of grief?
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yasin ibn Ahmad
11-15-2008, 01:46 PM
"we" is like we in the surah Bakara's last two ayahs.(We heard and we obeyed...)
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Nájlá
11-15-2008, 02:23 PM
True...be easy with the lover.

When teenagers say there in love ppl make fun of them and think that there just playing around.
Seriously think before u hurt them or even better just leave the alone.
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Al-Zaara
11-15-2008, 02:24 PM
yasin ibn Ahmad - OK, jazakAllah kheyr.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-15-2008, 06:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Did he commit suicide or die of grief?
Personally, I think he died of grief because of the second to last line, but I don't think it would have mattered either way...
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Sahabiyaat
11-15-2008, 06:49 PM
when it says be easy with them....surely it doesnt mean leave them alone, because unless they are married or to be married, shaytaan is taking advantage of their weak state, so you should admonish them, but nicely i guess.

but how shhould parents go about calmly admonishing their love struck teens? , its usually a forced marriage or an honour killing if its a girl.

life is not as simple as the title of this thread :)
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Periwinkle18
11-15-2008, 06:50 PM
wow

JazakAllah for sharing
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-15-2008, 07:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
when it says be easy with them....surely it doesnt mean leave them alone, because unless they are married or to be married, shaytaan is taking advantage of their weak state, so you should admonish them, but nicely i guess.
Yeah..it's just being able to understand them and their feelings and give advise accordingly. When a person is in love, their mental state is very different, I can't even explain it in words. A person shouldn't turn around all shocked and be condescending, unfeeling or extremely rational.

but how shhould parents go about calmly admonishing their love struck teens? , its usually a forced marriage or an honour killing if its a girl.

life is not as simple as the title of this thread :)
That's the reason most teenagers don't tell their parents about how they feel..and would rather tell their friends. If they have good friends then the situation will move towards the better...but, as is the case a lot of the time, if they have bad friends then there's a lot of harm that can come about.

You're right, it isn't easy to get teens to talk to their parents..especially when the kids are raised here and their parents were raised back home and there is great discrepancy between both of them in terms of understanding, perspectives, and outlook. It's rare that the parents raise their kids in a way where the kid can talk to their parents about anything even being in love..it's a long process to be able to build a relationship with your kids like that and the foundation for it needs to be put right from when the kids are still very young. Unfortunately, most parents that were raised back home will try to raise their kids the way they were raised without taking into account the environment or the times and this obviously backfires when the child ends up flying in the wrong direction..
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Sahabiyaat
11-15-2008, 07:04 PM
very true akhee,good summary of my thoughts.

so i guess life is a bunch of lemony snickets, a series of unfortunate events :) lol. and Allah is testing us, so you just have to put up with what you dont have, for example, parents who are your good friends.
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yasin ibn Ahmad
11-15-2008, 10:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
Personally, I think he died of grief because of the second to last line, but I don't think it would have mattered either way...
I think it would matter a lot...:bump1:
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DAWUD_adnan
11-15-2008, 11:24 PM
Well, couldn't he just have said " Make it Halal and thank Allah for this" ?

I mean, he made it look like it was something very,very wrong :s No wonder the guy killed himself.
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Sahabiyaat
11-16-2008, 10:59 AM
i think because he was such a religious/learned person,and so much respect was given to them, the guy took advice really seriously.
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Saimah Ali
11-16-2008, 11:06 AM
إذا لم يجد صبراً لكتمان سره **** فليس له شيء سوى الموت أنفع
If he is unable to be patient with concealing his secret
Then there is nothing for him except death that will benefit!
Subhanallah...indeed true love is deep...
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Al-Zaara
11-16-2008, 06:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
Personally, I think he died of grief because of the second to last line, but I don't think it would have mattered either way...
You really think it wouldn't have mattered? Allah knows best. The whole story is very touching, subhanAllah... JazakAllah kheyr for sharing!
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-16-2008, 07:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
You really think it wouldn't have mattered? Allah knows best. The whole story is very touching, subhanAllah... JazakAllah kheyr for sharing!
Barakallah Feekum. I don't know..I think it's inconsequential how he died..the point being that he died out of love. I mean we know that suicide is forbidden...so I think either way the point is 'incorrect advise to a person deeply in love --> really bad things can happen'. Allaah knows best..
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highway_trekker
11-16-2008, 08:08 PM
True in many ways but sometimes love can destroy and a parent who oversees that will only seek to destroy it before it destroys their child... An understandable act of love and defence. But yes sometimes love can be good for us and whether we like it or not, some types of love just aren't ever meant to benefit us.
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Musaafirah
11-16-2008, 08:19 PM
Thanks for the story.
It's really worrying though, as previously mentioned that parents don't communicate with their kids appropriately and just give orders and expect complete obedience (Not all parents)
And definitely, when giving advice one should always take into account the situation and give advice accordingly as opposed to making life seem black and white...
I feel sad now.
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Sahabiyaat
11-17-2008, 10:04 AM
dont feel sad, im sure Allah forgave him, and then made the girl die too so they are can live in Jannah happily ever after. :D

or maybe Allah gave him a few hoors and he forgot all about her. :D
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-01-2008, 08:48 AM
:sl:
jazakallahu khair...

but what really buffels me about some people who are in love is when one of them dosnt have an interest in the other, but he/she still want to be with them, even though the other person doesnt want to be with them. i dont get that...i would have thought that if its unrequited, it would have been easier for the person to move on...
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sevgi
12-01-2008, 09:49 AM
if the moral of the story is that we should be cautious when giving advice, then i believe the guy killed himself.

also, 'keeping the secret' and 'attaining her' are so not the same thing....what?
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kwolney01
12-03-2008, 02:28 AM
Wow, that's a great lesson to learn and use in our own life's. I know there may be times we say something to someone that we could have said in a better way.

Thanks for sharing with us..

Jazak Allah Khair
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alcurad
12-03-2008, 03:25 AM
the story sounds doubtful, a few lines of poetry and the guy dies on a rock or whatever
oh well..
love is an undefinable concept for the most part, rather companionship and respect are more important for a relationship to survive.
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Re.TiReD
12-07-2008, 09:46 PM
the story sounds doubtful, a few lines of poetry and the guy dies on a rock or whatever
AssalamuAlaykum

He was 'heartbroken', in a great deal of emotional pain...Wallahu A'lam.

love is an undefinable concept for the most part, rather companionship and respect are more important for a relationship to survive
True.

WassalamuAlaykum
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