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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 11:52 AM
i dont know what has overcome me these last few days! i cant stop thinking about an ex. he keeps coming into my dreams, sometimes i wish i could talk to him but i knw theres no point he hates me, pple please advise me... how do i stop hurting, knowing hes having fun, living in the same city, chilling out with other girls, he couldnt care less if i was dead or alive. it hurts so much, when i think of him i jus cry automatically. i thought i was gettin over him and now this happens. and my dreams they seem so real but when i wake up i realise it was all jus a dream
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Ansariyah
11-15-2008, 01:41 PM
he couldnt care less if i was dead or alive. it hurts so much,
Why wud u cry for someone who doesn't even care?
He isn't worth it sis. Forget him. There's more to Life! Believe me...:sunny:

Seek refuge from ur dreams, cause all good dreams are from Allah, all the bad are from shaitan.

In the future don't let no one so easily into ur heart, let them first earn it.
Allah made you waaay to precious to be in this type of a situation.

Besides u call him "an ex" let him stay where he belongs..THE PAST! move on!
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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 02:29 PM
i feel like gettin in touch with him...but i knw he dont care. but i cant help the way i feel..maybe i should write a letter?
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 02:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
i feel like gettin in touch with him...but i knw he dont care. but i cant help the way i feel..maybe i should write a letter?
do you watch bollywood movies?

listen to music?


maybe hang out with girls who talk about boys a lot?



anything of this nature?



if so, STOP IMMEDIATELY - after stopping give it some time - and you'll be just fine inshAllah
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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 02:41 PM
no i dont do anythin like that. in fact i read namaz 5 times a day, i try my best 2 stay away from all that. he is just my weakness.
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 02:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
no i dont do anythin like that. in fact i read namaz 5 times a day, i try my best 2 stay away from all that. he is just my weakness.
ok do you see him regularly/hear about him a lot?


if so keep gaze down - leave room whenever his around or mentioned inshAllah.



these might be empty advice but nonetheless if you keep praying and asking Allah to keep you secure im sure you'll be ok.



Allah has ordained for us whats best, the better we understand that, the better our hearts will be..
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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 03:05 PM
i am understanding that.. as we have a few of the same friends his name is mentioned sometimes, and i get pangs of jealousy, i hate it!
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 03:06 PM
^ you need to either tell those friends to stop or stop hanging around those friends


sis having a good crowd is extremely important...
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AnonymousPoster
11-15-2008, 03:19 PM
i do have a good crowd bro, but i dnt knw how 2 stop hurting over him, how nt 2 get jealous knowing hes chilling out with other girls, some of them that were/are my friends. i knw hes the 1 doing haraam but knowing abt it jus brings me 2 tears
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anonymous
11-15-2008, 03:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mz
^ you need to either tell those friends to stop or stop hanging around those friends


sis having a good crowd is extremely important...

Finding one is also extremely difficult :exhausted
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 03:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Finding one is also extremely difficult :exhausted
lol true


in which case being alone with books and Quran is better :)
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anonymous
11-15-2008, 03:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mz
lol true


in which case being alone with books and Quran is better :)
Or just keep searching...

The Quran is very goood to refresh your emaan SubhanAllah

but Being alone your whole life with books is a little depressing innit
Im sorry Ive got school books infront of me so im a little tired of books :exhausted

lol MZ wassup! :p
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 03:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Or just keep searching...

The Quran is very goood to refresh your emaan SubhanAllah

but Being alone your whole life with books is a little depressing innit
Im sorry Ive got school books infront of me so im a little tired of books :exhausted

lol MZ wassup! :p
no ones really alone though lol, seriously


some just might think they are :).





nothins up :| whos that hiding behind anonymous lol
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anonymous
11-15-2008, 03:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mz
no ones really alone though lol, seriously


some just might think they are :).





nothins up :| whos that hiding behind anonymous lol
Yeah you are right ... I also think There is no such thing as being ALL alone :)



who do you think , its gooovy lol :p
Anyway gtg :D
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IbnAbdulHakim
11-15-2008, 03:46 PM
^ coooomeee baaaaak :'(
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S_87
11-15-2008, 03:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
i feel like gettin in touch with him...but i knw he dont care. but i cant help the way i feel..maybe i should write a letter?
DONT get in touch with him. You said yourself he couldnt care less about you. Dont make him know he has a hold over you..itll take time but youll get over him inshaAllah and from the sound of it hes soooo not worth it.
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Zahida
11-15-2008, 03:53 PM
:sl: Sorry to hear of your pain. Little one please stop punishing yourself, you say yourself that he is having 'fun' and wouldn't care less if you lived or died yet you still feel like getting in touch? Why? What will that change....... simply nothing only giving him more satisfaction in knowing that you still care for him are thinking about him and making him gloat.

You are reading your namaaz as you say five times a day. You should pray to Allah for sabur and little one you should move on. This guy is not worth your tears and you need to start afresh and let him know that you have moved on instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. Sorry for the harsh words.

:w:
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Umm Hurairah
11-15-2008, 07:26 PM
Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

He's not worth it. Alhamdulillah, you are a practicing Muslim, and you believe in Allah. Allah is the only one that can cure your pain. Time heals all wounds. You won't forget about him easily, so don't try it. Try occupying yourself by things like work, studies, and esp. the Quran and salaah. When you get frustrated, pray 2 nafl and call out to Allah. He hears all of us. He loves us more than 70 mothers. He will never ever abandon you.

All of your "friends" should know he's your ex and if they truly cared bout you, they would stop mentioning him. Choose good friends, the kind that understand what you are going through, or at least have consideration. If you don't find friends like that, then the next best friends are books. Books teach you so much Alhamdulillah. If you haven't already, read the Quran's translation with tafseer. Learn the history of Islam and the Sahabah. You aren't the first to have gotten hurt so badly, and this ex isn't the first to have hurt someone with such a beautiful heart. Read Hayat-us-Sahabah. They are one of the best book series out there and Masha Allah contain a lot of wisdom.

May Allah (SWT) cure all your pain and may He (SWT) grant you Janat-ul-Firdos. Ameen Thuma Ameen.
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AnonymousPoster
11-16-2008, 12:24 PM
im so disappointed in myself, bcuz i knw he isnt worth it, i knw he doesnt care, yet im still thinkin abt him, missing him, wanting 2 talk 2 him. i knw it was all haraam and i AM glad yet i still feel like this! honestly i jus want 2 forget him, but its not as simple doing it, i waking up thinking of him, remembering things when we were together, and then i remember how he hurt me, and it kills. thank you everybody 4 ur replies
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UnknownOne
11-16-2008, 12:41 PM
Hmmm...
Get out
Go spend time with all your girlfriends
Cinema, restaurant
Just enjoy what you can
If he invades into your thoughts just shake your head vigorously as if you want to rip it off, just don't rip it off...

And inshallah, doing so may just help =]
Reply

Ansariyah
11-16-2008, 12:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
im so disappointed in myself, bcuz i knw he isnt worth it, i knw he doesnt care, yet im still thinkin abt him, missing him, wanting 2 talk 2 him. i knw it was all haraam and i AM glad yet i still feel like this! honestly i jus want 2 forget him, but its not as simple doing it, i waking up thinking of him, remembering things when we were together, and then i remember how he hurt me, and it kills. thank you everybody 4 ur replies
Sis go ahead n chill, have fun wit ur girls!
Get a fashial, go shopping..
Do a hennah party, blast ur fav nasheeds,who needs even a groom. lol
You got lots to celebrate, stop grieving over this loser!

One day U will marry someone who deserves u! InshaAllah he'll treat u like a real princess. ameen.:sunny:

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Saimah Ali
11-16-2008, 03:40 PM
Firstly, can everyone please stop saying 'He's not worth it.' If you have been in love, you would know how it painful it is to try and let go. Don't make a harsh comment when the sister is in need of helpful advice.

Secondly, to the sister;

i dont know what has overcome me these last few days! i cant stop thinking about an ex. he keeps coming into my dreams, sometimes i wish i could talk to him but i knw theres no point he hates me, pple please advise me... how do i stop hurting, knowing hes having fun, living in the same city, chilling out with other girls, he couldnt care less if i was dead or alive. it hurts so much, when i think of him i jus cry automatically. i thought i was gettin over him and now this happens. and my dreams they seem so real but when i wake up i realise it was all jus a dream
When you are in love and dream of the person, you don't want that dream to end, I understand where you are coming from sis. These feelings can't just dissapear. Even over time. They decrease but very unlikely for them to dissapear. You can take a few steps to make these feelings decrease;

1) Try to pray your 5 times a day prayers
2) Try to wear Hijaab
3) Whenever he is mentioned by your friends, try to change the topic
4) KEEP YOUR GAZE LOWERED << this point helps alot, believe me (Because the more you look at him, the more your feelings will increase for him)
5) Try to change friends if you can >> make practicing friends, which will help your Imaan.

Inshallah these points will help decrease feelings for him, even if they don't completely take the feelings away.
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AnonymousPoster
11-18-2008, 02:05 PM
Im so upset! some1 just told me that he was hit in a club, n it really hurts me! i cant stop seeing him in my dreams i cant stop crying, i want to see him
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'Abdul Rahmaan
11-18-2008, 02:49 PM
Hey sister, I can feel your pain. You missed some one (b/f) whom you loved and I lost someone whom I loved (my mom). You can't even imagine how much I used to love her but she didn't care about me in a least bit and left me. I have been with her in my dreams (day and night) for the last three years. I tired to do my best to forget her but I couldn't succeed. Yet I never tell people that I miss her so much.

What I want to tell you is that many times things in our life don't happen in a way we want them to happen. So we have to have patience to bear the pain and courage to face the hardships of life. You know he is missed. Now what you can do is that you FORGET him. If you fail to forget him as I failed to forget her, then have patience to bear the pain and courage to live with your pain. Be brave. :)
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AnonymousPoster
11-19-2008, 12:06 PM
How do u stop heart break? i realy cant think at the moment, wat do u do when u hear about ur ex clubbin all the time, hugging other girls?? it hurts so much! he used to cuss girls who went out, he never let me go when we was together. it really hurts me so much. im sorry everyone. thank you 4 ur time
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julie sarri
11-19-2008, 12:33 PM
sis you have to tell your self that he is getting on with his life and you must start to get on with yours for one unless he changes his ways and is guided by Allah then he wouldn't be a good match for you anyway as you need a practicing brother who Love's his deen not some one out there clubbing and hugging girls so tell yourself you are better off away from him you just got to put all your trust in Allah and have true belief that what he has written for you is better
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Saimah Ali
11-22-2008, 02:56 PM
Have you bothered to read any of the replies people have given you? Only ask for advice if you are ready to take it.
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drkashif
11-22-2008, 07:01 PM
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
Sister you said you pray salat 5 times daily still you are having this feelings this means your salah is defficient.
allah taala says
'INNAS SALATA TANHA ANIL FAHSHA WAL MUNKAR.'
"indeed SALAT keeps you away from fahsha and munkar(bad deeds)

Just have a check on your salat and try to pray it with khushu inshaallah belive me you will forget all those .
Next best thing is read quran with understanding and ponder over each verse.

I hope you will love to loose him for the cost of your iman.

lets see what allah says in holy quran.

003.139
So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith.

ALLAH says that a believer will never grief or fall into despair.Just have this words in mind when ever you think of him.

One more thing you can do is just get for tahajjud and pray infront of allah with crying that take him out of your mind.

one more thing you can do voluntary fasting as it increases taqwa.

just have a look at this
http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/1114/boyfriend

.wassalam.
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Tanya Khan
12-09-2008, 02:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
i dont know what has overcome me these last few days! i cant stop thinking about an ex. he keeps coming into my dreams, sometimes i wish i could talk to him but i knw theres no point he hates me, pple please advise me... how do i stop hurting, knowing hes having fun, living in the same city, chilling out with other girls, he couldnt care less if i was dead or alive. it hurts so much, when i think of him i jus cry automatically. i thought i was gettin over him and now this happens. and my dreams they seem so real but when i wake up i realise it was all jus a dream
Sorry to hear your going through so much stress. May Allah be with you and find a way out for you. Ameen.

I am going through the same thing, and I have fallen into a state of severe depression. imsad:cry:

I get so jealous that he is happily getting on with his life with another girl (he cheated on me with her) he chose her over me. I am so bitter and jealous that my life has turned upside down, when he was the one who cheated, but I am getting punished. :cry:
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Cabdullahi
12-09-2008, 02:43 PM
just like the sisters said.. go out get a facial!
be focused but chill with you girly friends and be casual
for one guy! you are mentally and physically disabling urself
as you scream for help
god won’t help you until u help urself
we are all weaklings our hearts crumble
when we see our long lost love with others ..we fumble
we always go for the bad when the good is an easier option
sometimes i think and say forget marriage....a house, my mom and a blessed adoption-
is the easier option
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