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anonymous
11-21-2008, 04:12 PM
Most of my life has been miserable but its been much better after marriage.
Everything has been going wrong for us all the time. It just seems like things will never change. A couple of months ago I started praying and I really enjoyed it. Now I pray 5 daily prayers. It makes me feel closer to Allah. I thought this would be a turning point for us and thing might start getting better. If anything things are worse. My husband has been out of work for over 2 years and he applied for 2 jobs recently and I prayed for him to get the job everyday but he got none of them. We are in so much debt I dont know what is going to happen to us. We keep getting extra expense with repairing the car and what with the current financial climate hes not likely to get a job anytime soon. We have 2 children and anything they ask for i have to refuse. I am working all the hours. I cant do anymore. We're almost living on the poverty line. I feel really tired all the time. I've been keeping things calm and under control for a long time now but I dont know how much longer I can. I broke down in tears on the prayer mat after fajar today. I dont even know what I was crying about. Its just one thing after another.
Is this Allah testing me?
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Argamemnon
11-21-2008, 06:55 PM
Of course it's a test. I'm being tested by other things, such as severe depression and anxiety, which prevents me from marrying even though I'm 32. I'm afraid we have no choice but to trust Allah. I wish you and your husband all the best. I wish I could help.
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Zahida
11-21-2008, 07:04 PM
:sl: To you both. May Allah ease your difficulties and replace them with happiness. Life is a test and i do believe that you are doing the right thing. Namaaz will give you sakoon and keep you strong Ameen.

After every hardship comes ease and InshaAllah it will come to you both soon.Anything you have to ask ,ask from Allah.

Anonymous it is a difficult situation you are in and InshaAllah it won't be for long. During this very hard period everyone is affected by the economic situation as it stands. You mustn't worry, just pray to Allah to do the best for you. Ameen.:w:
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kwolney01
11-21-2008, 07:05 PM
I agree with the brother, Allah gives us all tests we just have to stay strong and show faith in Allah. Keep praying and asking Allah for strength, Allah knows everything and he does not burden us with things we can not handle. Allah wants to know we have faith in him even through the hard times.

Stay strong and remember we all go through tests and these tests only make us stronger in our deen!!

I wish you the best!!

Jazak Allah Khair!!
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be sensible
11-21-2008, 08:18 PM
Assalamualikum sister really sorry to hear about your trouble. May Allah ease your pain but please sister stay strong Alhamdulillah you are praying five times a day. I know it may seem difficult to be positive at the moment but please remember allah swt will inshallah reward your for your patience. With time you will see things improving there is always balance of good and bad in this life. I will just share with you some quotes I have come across by which has helped me in difficult times.

As for your husband finding a job it can be hard I don’t know where you’re from but in uk the job market has been pretty quite therefore competition has increased. I am in search for a new job my self and it has been quite difficult. What I could advice is to help your husband prepare well in advance such as looking through his cv and revaluate it if needed. Before the interview date help him to prepare in advance there are lot of websites available which can help with interviewing if needed. And of course prey and make dua to Allah. Inshallah when the time is right and with te will of Allah you will see everything fall into place inshallah.

Take care sister.

Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning [al-Zumar 39:10]

"Allah knows and you know not...” Allah is saying that you may love something which is not good for you but you do not know and He knows.. Yes, there is wisdom behind it but ONLY Allah knows the EXACT reason and there is not point trying to figure it out.this is a belief you must have in Allah, just as you believe in his attributes, that He is one, and that Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam is His messenger.. And that is He has infinite knowledge, He knows what is best for His slaves, He tests people that way He wants.. And most importantly, Allah does NOT need to tell any of us why He decrees something..

'Al-Ghazali said,"If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, know that you hold a great status with Him. Know that He is dealing with you as He does with His Awliya' and chosen elite, and is watching over you, have you not heard His saying, "So wait steadfastly for the judgment of your Lord - you are certainly before Our eyes.
{At-Tur 52:48}""

And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine [al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

And march forth in the way (which leads to) forgiveness from your Lord… [Aal ‘Imraan 3:133]

There is nothing like Him, and He is the All Hearer, the All Seer”
[al-Shoora 42:11]

No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart [al-Taghaabun 64:11]

Whatever you’re going through, He knows and just knowing that should bring about so much relief, cos if Allah knows of the pain or difficulty you’re going through then He has the power to bring the ease to you too as Verily with hardship comes ease; verily with hardship comes ease.” [al-Sharh: 5-6]

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all of it is good, and that applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad befalls him he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).

“Allaah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He distinguishes the wicked from the good” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:179]

“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope”
[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; Ibn Maajah, 4031

As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths [al-‘Ankaboot 29:69] stay strong inshaAllah and make sure that whatever you do, u don’t lose hope! But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah's Way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves [3:146]
__________________

Absolutely, GOD's allies have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
They are those who believe and lead a righteous life.
For them, joy and happiness in this world, as well as in the Hereafter. This is GOD's unchangeable law. Such is the greatest triumph.Do not be saddened by their utterances. All power belongs to GOD. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient. [10:62-65]

.. He's the one in control of EVERYTHING... everything u go through, He's the One in control of it all...All He needs to do to carry out any command is to say to it, "Be," and it is. [36:82] so its Him you need to turn to and ask for what u want, cos it's only Him that can help u...

You will certainly be tested, through your money and your lives, and you will hear from those who received the scripture, and from the idol worshipers, a lot of insult. If you steadfastly persevere and lead a righteous life, this will prove the strength of your faith.[3:186]

Surah Talaq Verse 3:

And He provides for him from where he does not reckon. And whoever puts trust in Allah, so Allah is sufficient for him. Surely Allah will accomplish His purpose. And Allah has set a measure for all things

Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.

(Quran 2:143)
"And Allah would never let your faith become fruitless. Truley, Allah is Most Kind with his people, and All-Compassionate"

Quran 29:2
'Do people think they will be left alone because they say 'we believe' and not be tested'

(Quran 13:28)
“Truly, in remembering God do hearts find rest.”

(Quran 4:77)
“Say: Short is the enjoyment of this world. The Hereafter is (far) better for him who fears God.”

Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator. He will create another way for you. Do not flee from your trials; patience in adversity is the foundation of all virtue, of compassion and sainthood.
- Shaykh Abdul Qadir Jilani

Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.
Shaikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani

Allahumma Salli Ala Sayyidina Muhammadin Wa-Ala Ali Muhammadin Wa-Swahbihi Wa-Sallim

The dua can change our life, our outlook, and our fate. It is the most potent weapon of a believer.
Duaa is the weapon of a believer. It will protect you from the evils of enemies.
Dua is the shield of a believer. It will increase your sustenance.
Dua is more forceful than a sword. Dua replaces what has been destined and also creates that what has not been destined.
Dua is a form of ibaadat. Dua removes both the present suffering and that which will comedown later.
Dua and sufferings challenge each other until the Day of Judgment, and Dua comes out victorious.
Dua is so powerful that Dua has the power to create and alter fate!! Ask Allah for what you need so that He will give it to you. If you keep on knocking the door of Divine Mercy,sooner or later it will be opened for you.

Never get tired of Dua, Allah has attached much value to it.
Allah says
"Let My servants know that I have the power to grant My servants' wishes."

A believer who makes Dua receives one of three things:
1. Either he will quickly have his Dua answered,
2. or he will get in the Hereafter,
3. or something bad will be prevented from him equal to the value of his Dua.

Everything has a proper discipline to it, and so does Dua. Duas may not be answered when requirements of Dua have not been fulfilled. Praise Allah Almighty. Remember Him and thank Him for His blessings. Send greetings to the Holy Prophet (saw). Pray your Salaat regularly. Recite Qur'an regularly. Seek Tauba. Attain Taqwa. That is the right way for Dua.

It may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you love a thing while it is evil for you. At such times, refer to He who knows the best, and that is Allah. Allah knows, while we do not know. So we must make Dua to Allah, then be patient, have faith in His unquestionable decision and trust His absolute wisdom.
Sometimes Allah delays answering the Dua to give a greater reward and a further blessing. Allah's delay is not Allah's denial. Allah's timing is perfect. What we need is Patience and trust

It is impossible to sum up everything about Dua in this brief note. To summarize the whole concept of Dua into one single statement :
Dua is a form of Ibaadat,such a powerful Ibaadat that it can create and alter Qismat, and that Allah is generous and if His servant raises his hands towards Him, He feels reluctant not to accept it.

Once Prophet Muhammad (saw) passed by a people who were suffering from some affliction. "Why don't they make dua (pray ) to Allah for protection," he said. With all the suffering and disasters Muslims are facing in various parts of the world, the question can be directed to all of us today.

It is not that we have forgotten dua completely; we refer to it regularly. But, our ideas and practice regarding dua have become distorted. Often it is reduced to the level of a ritual. Generally it is considered when all our efforts have failed --- an act of last resort. It is belittled through actions and sometimes even with words. Is it any wonder that today mostly a mention of dua is meant to indicate the hopelessness of a situation.
What a tragedy, for dua is the most potent weapon of a believer. It can change fate, while no action of ours ever can. It is the essence of ibadah or worship. With it we can never fail; without it we can never succeed. In the proper scheme of things, dua should be the first and the last resort of the believer, with all his plans and actions coming in between.

Dua is conversation with Allah, out Creator, our Lord and Master, the All Knowing, the All Powerful. This act in itself is of extraordinary significance. It is the most uplifting, liberating, empowering, and transforming conversation a person can ever have. We turn to Him because we know that He alone can lift our sufferings and solve our problems. We feel relieved after describing our difficulties to our Creator. We feel empowered after having communicated with the All Mighty. We sense His mercy all around us after talking to the Most Merciful. We get a new commitment to follow His path for that is the only path for success. We feel blessed with each such commitment

In every difficulty our first action is dua, as is our last. We ask Allah to show us the way to handle that difficulty; we seek His help in following the path He shows to us; we seek His aid in making our efforts successful. When we fall sick, we know that we cannot find the right doctor without His Will; that the best doctor may not be able to diagnose our condition without His Command; that the best treatment plan will not succeed without His Permission. We make dua for all of these. We make dua before we seek medical help, while we are receiving it and after it has been delivered. The same is true of all other difficulties we may encounter.

Dua is the essence of ibadah. A person engaged in dua affirms his belief in Allah (swt) and shuns belief in all false gods. With each dua his belief in Allah grows. He beseeches Him, affirming his own powerlessness. A person seriously and sincerely engaged in dua understands exactly the relationship between himself and the Creator and affirms it through his actions. That is the essence of worship! Additionally, such a person can never become arrogant or proud, a logical result of true worship.

Dua is conversation with Allah ... It is the most uplifting, liberating, empowering, and transforming conversation a person can ever have.
Dua is our most potent weapon in all struggles of life as well as in jihad in the battlefield. During the battle of Badr, the Prophet stood up all night in prayer seeking Allah's help in the battle between unequal armies that would follow the next day. In the decisive battles against the crusaders, Sultan Salatuddin Ayyubi was busy day and night. His days were devoted to Jihad. His nights were spent making dua, crying, seeking Allah's help. This has been the practice of all true mujahideen. We should make it a point to make dua for all things big and small. It is the beginning of wisdom to realize that big and small are arbitrary labels that are totally irrelevant in this context.

Nothing is too big for Whom we are asking from; nothing is to small for the one who is asking. That is why we have been taught to ask Allah when we need something as small as shoelaces. We should ask as a beggar, as a destitute person, for that is what we in reality are in relationship to Allah. At the same time we should ask with great hope and conviction that we shall be granted our prayers. We should remember the Hadith: "There is nothing more dear to Allah than a servant making dua to Him." On the other hand, a
prayer lacking concentration and conviction is no prayer at all.

We should make dua at all times, not only during times of distress. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said:
"Whosoever desires that Allah answers his duas in unfavorable and difficult conditions, he should make plentiful dua in days of ease and comfort." Also he said: "The person who does not ask from Allah, Allah becomes angry with him."

We should ask for all of our needs: those related to this world as well as those related to the Hereafter. Those who only concentrate on the former are, in effect, announcing that they don't care for their life in the permanent abode. They should blame no body but themselves for the total ruin in that world that Qur'an assures us awaits them. Those who only concentrate on the later are also showing lack of balance, for we need Allah's help to lead a good life here as well.

We should make dua not only for ourselves but also for our parents, brothers and sisters, spouses and children, relatives and friends, teachers and other benefactors, and destitute and struggling Muslims everywhere. We should pray for them for the good in this world as well as in the Hereafter. The Prophet (saw) said:
"The dua of a Muslim for his brother (in Islam) in his absence is readily accepted. An angel is appointed to his side. Whenever he makes a beneficial dua for his brother the appointed angel says, 'Aameen. And may you also be blessed with the same.'" [Sahih Muslim]

Dua can change our life, our outlook, and our fate. It is the mostpotent weapon. But it works only for those who try sincerely and seriously to use it.

I'll leave you with the words of the most merciful..
فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلۡعُسۡرِ يُسۡرًا (٥) إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلۡعُسۡرِ يُسۡرً۬ا (٦)
Verily with every hardship comes ease.
Verily with every hardship comes ease.

P.s sorry if the reply was really long....

Jazakallah kair
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YusufNoor
11-23-2008, 01:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Most of my life has been miserable but its been much better after marriage.
Everything has been going wrong for us all the time.

please read the story of Musa in Surah Al Kahf

It just seems like things will never change. A couple of months ago I started praying and I really enjoyed it.

that's a change...

Now I pray 5 daily prayers. It makes me feel closer to Allah.

it's supposed too! what are your husbands praying habits?

I thought this would be a turning point for us and thing might start getting better.

sometimes what we like is NOT good for us, and what we don't like IS good for us!

If anything things are worse. My husband has been out of work for over 2 years and he applied for 2 jobs recently and I prayed for him to get the job everyday but he got none of them.

read up on Istikara prayer. [maybe those jobs would have been bad for you]

We are in so much debt I dont know what is going to happen to us. We keep getting extra expense with repairing the car and what with the current financial climate hes not likely to get a job anytime soon.

others have responded to that...

We have 2 children and anything they ask for i have to refuse.

at least your children won't be spoiled, teach them as much Islam as you know!

I am working all the hours. I cant do anymore. We're almost living on the poverty line. I feel really tired all the time. I've been keeping things calm and under control for a long time now but I dont know how much longer I can. I broke down in tears on the prayer mat after fajar today. I dont even know what I was crying about. Its just one thing after another.
Is this Allah testing me?
Peace sister,

of course Allah[swt] is testing you, BUT you've gone from not praying to praying 5 times a day. that's one graduation!

also now you break down in tears when you cry! that's your 2nd graduation!

Allah[swt] is with those who are patient, therefore patience is an act of worship! listen to this lecture Examinations of Sabr...Pass or Fail:

http://www.nazirakoob.com/menk/Vol1.html#Part4

Allah[swt]is turning you into a Muminah! Alhumdulillah! you are praying and bearing Sabr under dire circumstances! Allah[swt] is not only testing you, you are passing with flying colors!

May Alla[swt] increase you in strength and may He guide you and yours to the straight path and may He grant to all Jannah!

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
11-23-2008, 06:42 PM
Thank you so much for your support brothers and sisters. Since posting this I have felt much better. Maybe I just needed to share with someone what I was feeling. I didnt want to talk to my husband about it cos it would just worry him more and put even more pressure on him.

I've just checked back here today and found all these posts of encouragement which have lifted my spirits even more-especially brother Yusufnoor.
Thank you everyone.
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anonymous
11-23-2008, 06:43 PM
I dont know how but I've posted under a different anonymous name ^^

Thank you so much for your support brothers and sisters. Since posting this I have felt much better. Maybe I just needed to share with someone what I was feeling. I didnt want to talk to my husband about it cos it would just worry him more and put even more pressure on him.

I've just checked back here today and found all these posts of encouragement which have lifted my spirits even more-especially brother Yusufnoor.
Thank you everyone.
Reply

SixTen
11-23-2008, 08:12 PM
Short answer yes, long answer, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.
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