Greetings and peace be with you Argamemnon;
I need all my energy to control my thoughts and appear slightly normal
Here is a simple yet powerful prayer, it is about striving to accept things that cannot be changed, and striving to change yourself.
Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change
Give me the courage to change the things I can.
And grant me the wisdom to know the difference.
The first line of the prayer is really important to live in peace with yourself and to live in serenity with all the things that you cannot change. Somehow you need to find ways to accept you cannot change your looks or stop your twitching. All the time you want to change the stuff that cannot be changed you become more anxious and it makes things worse. You cannot change other shallow people who might mock your afflictions, and somehow you need to find ways to accept this might be the reaction of a minority.
The second line of the prayer, the courage to change the things that can be changed, the only thing that is within your power to change is what goes on in your own mind. Somehow you need to find ways to ignore your perceived ugliness and twitching and strive to have the conversation as if everything about yourself is fine. You are created by a wonderful God and you just need that confidence. Every one here is really kind to you and accepts you as a wonderful person, you just need to believe that most other people are also like that.
The third line of the prayer is profound, it can take years of striving, but it gives you hope.
To understand how the prayer works here is how one lady used it whilst living in London during the second world war. Most days London was being bombed, she had no control over were the bombs would land. She would hear about; and see the death and destruction; she might be killed, her family might be killed, her home or work or shops might be bombed. Yet every day she had to get up, feed herself and her family, and do some work.
The first line of the prayer, grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.
She had to live with all the injustice, fear, anger, hate, death and destruction surrounding her, she has no control where the bombs will land. She could not change what happened yesterday, she cannot change other people. If you continually want to change; or try to change the things that cannot be changed you will make yourself ill.
Give me the courage to change the things I can.
The only thing she could change was herself and what was going on in her own heart and mind. Somehow she would have to keep striving and coping or crack up, she did not know how long this destruction would last. Despite all the problems she directed her prayer to finding peace in her heart.
Give me the wisdom to know the difference.
The last line of the prayer is something you have to work out for yourself , you need to search for the real things that you can change; and strive to live with loving kindness with all the things you cannot change.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery; Lord help me to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.
Eric