Marrying at a later age

[Argamemnon]

Dear brothers and sisters,

Marrying at a later age has many disadvantages. I think if I decided to marry when I'm 35, I would have a problem finding someone who is available. Peope around my age (30 plus) are usually married.

And marrying a woman who has children.. I don't know, but I would not want it. I fear I might treat them differently than my own children, so I would not take that risk...

What is your opinion on this. I seriously think I couldn't find anyone once I'm 35 !! :eek:

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
i wouldn't despair...my cousin recently got married the same age as you...and i dont think she (his wife) was previously married either

[mohsen1985]

I think Islam recommends us to get married when we're young. It totally makes sense, the husband and wife can ejoy each other more when they're young, at 35 you've lived around half of your life, you don't have the energy you had when you're 25, you're starting to become mid-aged and want the more peaceful side of life, not the exciting parts anymore.
Don't wait up, get married now if you can :thumbs_up

[Argamemnon]

I think Islam recommends us to get married when we're young. It totally makes sense, the husband and wife can ejoy each other more when they're young, at 35 you've lived around half of your life, you don't have the energy you had when you're 25, you're starting to become mid-aged and want the more peaceful side of life, not the exciting parts anymore.
Don't wait up, get married now if you can :thumbs_up

I totally agree. I can't marry now bro, I'm unemployed. I have to follow a course and learn a skill first, and then find a job. :exhausted

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[Argamemnon]

:sl:
i wouldn't despair...my cousin recently got married the same age as you...and i dont think she (his wife) was previously married either

:sl: how old was the sister?

[Thinker]

I think Islam recommends us to get married when we're young. It totally makes sense, the husband and wife can ejoy each other more when they're young, at 35 you've lived around half of your life, you don't have the energy you had when you're 25, you're starting to become mid-aged and want the more peaceful side of life, not the exciting parts anymore.
Don't wait up, get married now if you can :thumbs_up

As someone who is well passed both 25 and 35 I can tell you that 35 year olds have as much energy and are much stronger that 25 year olds in manby ways. It is also a fact that today the trend is for people to are marry later than once was.

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Different people have different opinions. The ideal age to get married nowadays, is in between 23 to 27 IMO. :)

[mohsen1985]

I totally agree. I can't marry now bro, I'm unemployed. I have to follow a course and learn a skill first, and then find a job. :exhausted

Same problem here, waiting to find a good job first

As someone who is well passed both 25 and 35 I can tell you that 35 year olds have as much energy and are much stronger that 25 year olds in manby ways. It is also a fact that today the trend is for people to are marry later than once was.

Well, there are lots of advantages in 35 that aren't in 25, I agree, but in terms of physical strength I'd vote for the 25 year old. Most professional soccer players say goodbye to soccer around the age 33...

My father got married when he was my age. But I look at myself and see that I can in no way support a family of my own. Why? At his day and age, education wasn't a big issue, he didn't go to college, he easily got a good job without a college education, so he could support a family of his own. But nowadays, can't even get a job without having at least a bachelors degree, so that's at least 4 years gone by, the economy keeps getting worse and worse. No job's going to pay that much that I'll be able to pay for a wedding and a family of my own, so I'll have to wait at least 3, or 4 years, to save up money, buy a house, and get some work experience so I'll have a better paycheck, etc...

It's not like people don't want to get married at a young age, it's just that today's society forces them to wait until they're 27, 28 +...

[Yasahra]

My uncle married at 35 to a 25 year old never married gorgeous Muslimah. That just about kicks all the stereotypes outta the window.: ) They now have a lil son, who's the most adorable baby.

So don't give up InshaAllah.

[Ansariyah]

My uncle married at 35 to a 25 year old never married gorgeous Muslimah. That just about kicks all the stereotypes outta the window.: ) They now have a lil son, who's the most adorable baby.

So don't give up InshaAllah.

as my sis said..don't give up inshaAllah...:sunny:

[Al-Zaara]

In Finland, people start thinking of marriage at the age of 30+! :D

You're not a hopeless case, far from it.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

As someone who is well passed both 25 and 35 I can tell you that 35 year olds have as much energy and are much stronger that 25 year olds in manby ways. It is also a fact that today the trend is for people to are marry later than once was.

Agreed, i dont think i'd have a problem even if i was 45 lol !




its ok argememnon, you'll be fiiine :D

[Woodrow]

:sl:

We never know what is in store for us. I married my first wife when I was 23 at the time I was recovering from severe injuries and expected to be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life. But shortly after marrying I rcovered sufficiently to be restored to full active military duty.

I lost my first wife when I was in my 50s and remarried soon after. I was in excellent health and vitality, much more fit then when I was 23.

I lost my second wife and my health fell apart. Not long ago, I was seriously ill and making plans for my final days. Yet, Allaah(swt) would not let that be. I found a wonderful woman when I was 67 (almost 68) and married her. My health rebounded. I am now driving over 2000 miles a week, raising horses, moved to a rural area very active in Da'wah etc.

Age is meaningless. Allaah(swt) alone knows what is best, and if he gives you what is best for you, he will give you the health and strength to value and enjoy it.

[جوري]

all and I mean ALL the people I have come across have only gotten married in their thirties or older (except my brother) .. very few people are fortunate enough to be financially secure to make marriage at a young age without having to leech off their families..

One of the obligations of marriage is that you are able to afford it amongst other things.. I think you worry so much.. if/when the time comes.. I guarantee there will be a lady out there for you insha'Allah-- who will make you very happy and you like wise her..

:w:

[islamirama]

Islam says marry at a young age. If you don't have sustenance, don't worry because Allah provides. (but of course you must work it as well).

As for the age, i' of the belief that as you get older, it gets harder to find a good person, especially one that is younger. The older you get, the older she'll be. For example, someone 25 can find even a 17yr old and someone 25 will find 27+. Anyways, many girls out there are getting too "independent" in their thinking because of their "education" and also very picky. Not only do they miss out a good mate end up picking on that is a lot like them who ends up sharing the pants in the family.

[Argamemnon]

all and I mean ALL the people I have come across have only gotten married in their thirties or older (except my brother) .. very few people are fortunate enough to be financially secure to make marriage at a young age without having to leech off their families..

One of the obligations of marriage is that you are able to afford it amongst other things.. I think you worry so much.. if/when the time comes.. I guarantee there will be a lady out there for you insha'Allah-- who will make you very happy and you like wise her..

:w:

Almost ALL people I know married at a much younger age! Except a few.

I guarantee there will be a lady out there for you insha'Allah-- who will make you very happy and you like wise her..

:w:

You guarantee?? Will you find someone for me? :)

[جوري]

Almost ALL people I know married at a much younger age! Except a few.You guarantee?? Will you find someone for me? :)

I said I guarantee followed by insha'Allah :D -- sure I know a few people right now looking to get married all in their thirties some in their forties..

one of them is another Turkish guy though :haha: not you. and hopefully not for you .. he is wonderful but he has a son-- just think how much more difficult things are for him on the account no one wants to take care of someone else's kid --insha'Allah, Allah swt will guide him too, to the right party.
He himself very hard working.. the boy's mother has no interest in her kid and he doesn't have any green card or citizenship--- I think when you think of other people's problems it might put yours in perspective a bit?

akhi, if truly you are serious about marriage I think all you have to do is make it your sincere intent and Allah swt will find you someone that is a good match for you..
I actually truly believe in that ---
as a last resort and option, there are many matchmakers out there-- believe me for centuries people have been perfectly content to be brought together by a third party -- and it isn't a middle eastern notion, in fact when you think about it, and I don't know if you are currently in the U.S? but all those commercials they have of match.com, eharmony, and amongst many others are nothing but a third party trying to bring together folks who don't want to bother with the whole 'dating shbeal' bar hop for a mate 'yikes' or other socially and morally unacceptable functions.. you can truly marry at any age...

I can't remember one person I have come across that married so young, except one Armenian girl in high school -- she didn't bother go to college afterward and in fact sadly got a divorce by age 23...I have lost touch with her but that is what I learned from friends.. and that is sad, because she doesn't even have a strong education to fall back on to take care of her kids..

It is a funny thing-- our idea of perfection.. I think patience and acceptance are great virtues..
you just need to think a little different from your circumstances-- an entire attitude change

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[Argamemnon]

I said I guarantee followed by insha'Allah :D -- sure I know a few people right now looking to get married all in their thirties some in their forties..

one of them is another Turkish guy though :haha: not you. and hopefully not for you .. he is wonderful but he has a son-- just think how much more difficult things are for him on the account no one wants to take care of someone else's kid --insha'Allah, Allah swt will guide him too, to the right party.
He himself very hard working.. the boy's mother has no interest in her kid and he doesn't have any green card or citizenship--- I think when you think of other people's problems it might put yours in perspective a bit?

akhi, if truly you are serious about marriage I think all you have to do is make it your sincere intent and Allah swt will find you someone that is a good match for you..
I actually truly believe in that ---
as a last resort and option, there are many matchmakers out there-- believe me for centuries people have been perfectly content to be brought together by a third party -- and it isn't a middle eastern notion, in fact when you think about it, and I don't know if you are currently in the U.S? but all those commercials they have of match.com, eharmony, and amongst many others are nothing but a third party trying to bring together folks who don't want to bother with the whole 'dating shbeal' bar hop for a mate 'yikes' or other socially and morally unacceptable functions.. you can truly marry at any age...

I can't remember one person I have come across that married so young, except one Armenian girl in high school -- she didn't bother go to college afterward and in fact sadly got a divorce by age 23...I have lost touch with her but that is what I learned from friends.. and that is sad, because she doesn't even have a strong education to fall back on to take care of her kids..

It is a funny thing-- our idea of perfection.. I think patience and acceptance are great virtues..
you just need to think a little different from your circumstances-- an entire attitude change

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

:sl:

I still think I'm wasting my time. Waiting another 3 years or so, is too much for me to handle psychologically. I already regret waiting so long. Most Turks I know here in the Netherlands marry at age 23-28. I don't have a bachelor's degree either. I went to college in 2005 but left within a few weeks due to social anxiety/depression. My main problem is deciding what type of work I want to do, I'm prepared to follow courses.. but what.

Anyway .. maybe that guy is a good match for me, who knows? It's not appearance that matters, but the person's heart! :p

[جوري]

:haha:

you can do online courses if you are not quite ready to go to back and face ppl?..

How about you become a teacher? It is a noble profession and I think it might just make you smile



:w:

[Cabdullahi]

whats up with these homoerotic jokes?? ..this thread and another one by sister skye??
whats happening eh?

don't know who Arif and kiran are :D pls tell me one of them is a female name? :D:D



:w:

Anyway .. maybe that guy is a good match for me, who knows?

one of them is another Turkish guy though not you. and hopefully not for you

[جوري]

lol J.U.N.I.O.R.. my humble apologies..

what happened to your other avy by the way? I liked it

[Cabdullahi]

im suspecting that you two are mossad agents trying to corrupt our minds through the use of subliminal posts that will cause reverse physcology............hahahaha just kidding

my other avy was outta date so i had to change it....uve had the same avy for years? ...but its distinctive as sooon as we a open a thread and we come into contact with any sight of blue.....bam!....we always know its skye

[جوري]

I was just telling some of the ladies on this forum of my childhood crush on kermy..

of course I am not sure how you'd classify that :haha:

bro ZAk ( May Allah swt reward him) helped me with my avy.. I am not computer savvy oh God not savvy at all :X.. I wouldn't dream of changing it...

:w:

[Cabdullahi]

I was just telling some of the ladies on this forum of my childhood crush on kermy..

of course I am not sure how you'd classify that :haha:

bro ZAk ( May Allah swt reward him) helped me with my avy.. I am not computer savvy oh God not savvy at all :X.. I wouldn't dream of changing it...

:w:

I wouldve appreciated it if you kept that kinda stuff to urself...''whether its a sister inside joke or not'' i dont care....aight

[جوري]

aight...

:w:

[Banu_Hashim]

^^ lol.

What the-

[جوري]

My childhood enamor for Kermit the frog upset J.U.N.I.O.R.. so I won't mention it again :X

:lol:

:w:

[lanang]

I think Islam recommends us to get married when we're young.

sorry bro.. i think islam recomended married not based on age but based on
the responsibility or kaffah:D

It totally makes sense, the husband and wife can ejoy each other more when they're young, at 35 you've lived around half of your life, you don't have the energy you had when you're 25, you're starting to become mid-aged and want the more peaceful side of life, not the exciting parts anymore.
Don't wait up, get married now if you can :thumbs_up

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

:sl: how old was the sister?

27..and mind you, that is considered way old in my culture...even for my 35 year old cousin...i mean generally men in my culture get married late, but 35 is still considered "late" for a guy

[betaworld]

salam alakum
the broblem is to find the right match
marriage is not the end rather the beginning of a huge responsiblity better then choose with whom to share it lest u find urself alone midway
after all it's all Mektoob

[Woodrow]

As Islam spreads even more, it seems that for some generations there will be no option to marry young.

Because as
we grow, it means there will be more areas with small pioneer enclaves of Muslims. Young women that revert may have to wait a long time to even meet any eligible men and the same goes for the young men who revert in predominantly non-Muslim countries.