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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 07:24 PM
I feel so angry and sad and tired of getting the blame of everything in my house and my sister is soo anoying and i want to say that i h8 her but i cnt coz its haram in islam and its coz of sumthin that happend at home and she went to tell my mother and my dad and now i feel like i am soo untrusted and i dnt know what to do and my brothers and my other sisters hate me anyway and i feel like i am not wanted in that family coz everytime i want to make them happy it turns out me being in trouble coz of my little brother he comes and starts to anoy me and then i start screaming at him and then my mum tells him to stop but he carrys on so i go and hit him and then he gose n tells my dad and my dad hits me and my starts to shout at me like it was my fault this is what i dont get why dose it have to be me and they neva upset my sister coz they think shes so emotional and she gets upset quickley but me i get hitted shouted at and everything is my fault why why dose it have to be ME! am i just hated or what?:cry:imsad:laugh:
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IbnAbdulHakim
12-14-2008, 08:05 PM
everyone feels liek that sometimes


now list all the good things they do :D
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 08:29 PM
yes ur write but to me its not sumtimes its evrytime evryday
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Faith.
12-14-2008, 08:35 PM
Sorry dumb question but...
Are you getting the blame because its partly your fault?
Or do you just get blamed for everything...Im sure there must be a reason behind it...

And a lot of people feel the way your feeling.
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transition?
12-14-2008, 08:36 PM
Ergh, I know what you mean.
But it's not impossible to be kind to siblings and parents who only ignite your temper. My older sister has managed to be so patient nowadays. We often complain about the same thing, but she never complains anymore that much and simply keeps quiet when she's being yelled at or told to do something or my parents are being unbearable.
Her secret is patience. She's now more concerned about solving the relationship problem than she is getting worked up on it. Chances are, you're gonna get worked over it again and again. So why bother getting mad anymore. What are some actions you can take instead of getting annoyed that will help you relieve the tensions?
The first is probably calm down. Don't be annoyed so easily.
Manipulate the situation so it doesn't result in a fight, by being the person who doesn't argue.
This changes their attitude about you quickly lol I would know. I'm the Problem child now =P.
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 08:45 PM
Sorry dumb question but...
Are you getting the blame because its partly your fault?
Or do you just get blamed for everything...Im sure there must be a reason behind it...

And a lot of people feel the way your feeling.
well to say the truth its hardly fault and i dnt start the fights or arguments its rather my sister or brothers and then i get roared about it realy az if it was my fault
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Ansariyah
12-14-2008, 08:57 PM
There's always that one sibling that gets on ur nerves:raging: lol
I have manyyyy sisters/brothers:p:..

Sis they don't hate u. u just have to find a way to show everyone that it's not always u who's at fault. Don't re-react when they start fitnah...and eventually one of ur parent will hear it n the person will get told off. Sometimes that's the trick. Parents love the one who says the least...that will get u a lot of credit. Trust me!:-[
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:02 PM
Sis they don't hate u. u just have to find a way to show everyone that it's not always u who's at fault. Don't re-react when they start fitnah...and eventually one of ur parent will hear it n the person will get told off. Sometimes that's the trick. Parents love the one who says the least...that will get u a lot of credit. Trust me!
your right sis but every time i try to ignore them theres no point they will all turn to me and say horrible stuff to me and then every one is against me :-(
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Woodrow
12-14-2008, 09:06 PM
Thinking back to a long time ago when my children were still young and living at home. I am quite certain each of them felt that way. Yes, there were times when one would get picked on and bear the blame for all things. It does happen.

Now, it is not intentional, but some times one child gets caught in the lime light and it seems that is the one who is guilty of everything. But, in most families this is transitional and believe me, each child at one time or another becomes the center-most scape goat. For the child going through it it seems to last for an eternity.

The cure is to control your anger, avoid harsh words and re-earn your parent's trust. The resources you have to do this are Salat and serious Qur'an Study.
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Ansariyah
12-14-2008, 09:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
your right sis but every time i try to ignore them theres no point they will all turn to me and say horrible stuff to me and then every one is against me :-(
Sis, it's wrong for them all to gang up on u like that. I'm sorry.
Isn't there even one person who u can talk to? Wat about ur parents?
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Nájlá
12-14-2008, 09:09 PM
no they dont hate u at all. think about it why do get shouted at the most.
maybe its you that trys to annoy them first and all they do is go and tell there parent. they try and annoy back. Think about it. they dont hate u there your family.

remember parents always care for us, it could be your temper that make them do something you dont want. so watch your temper.


peace
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:13 PM
no they dont hate u at all. think about it why do get shouted at the most.
maybe its you that trys to annoy them first and all they do is go and tell there parent. they try and annoy back. Think about it. they dont hate u there your family.

remember parents always care for us, it could be your temper that make them do something you dont want. so watch your temper.
i am not sayin that my pearnts hate me i no they dnt but what makes it worse is my sister and brothers i am the secound youngest and they all say it to my face `I HATE U` and sumtyms they say go away ur not wanted in this house and trust me u wouldnt wanna know how i feel wen they say it to me.......
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Nájlá
12-14-2008, 09:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
i am not sayin that my pearnts hate me i no they dnt but what makes it worse is my sister and brothers i am the secound youngest and they all say it to my face `I HATE U` and sumtyms they say go away ur not wanted in this house and trust me u wouldnt wanna know how i feel wen they say it to me.......
dont u say it too?

lets be honest here dont always blame on ur sisters and brothers. first check your temper and actions. always think before you say something. you said that they make u go mad why dont you tell your parents instead of saying things back which are not nice.

i dont wanna just take it from your side but if u think before saying things back which are not nice life would be soo much easer.

and you said that they dont hate u well when they say it ofcourse they dont mean it. and am sure that sometimes we cant control our temper so u tend to say thing back maybe exactly what they say. soo please just control your temper life would be so much easer.
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Ansariyah
12-14-2008, 09:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
i am not sayin that my pearnts hate me i no they dnt but what makes it worse is my sister and brothers i am the secound youngest and they all say it to my face `I HATE U` and sumtyms they say go away ur not wanted in this house and trust me u wouldnt wanna know how i feel wen they say it to me.......
aw sis...they don't mean that. Wat people say when in anger isn't always true. That's why we've been told to not make decisions when we're angry. Because everything a person does when in rage like that is never true. Sis pls don't take it to heart.

They have no right to tell u, ur not wanted in the house. It's not their house!! It's ur parents n then it belongs to the entire family.:sunny:..so tell them ur not going anywhere. Don't get cornered like that sis! Be strong, keep ur good adab, Allah will reward u InshaAllah.
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:32 PM
dont u say it too?

lets be honest here dont always blame on ur sisters and brothers. first check your temper and actions. always think before you say something.
to say the truth i do answer them bck yeh but realy will u just leave them there to say what ever they want and i stay silent maybe i shud do that but sometimes u cnt control urselef and thats hard.....
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Nájlá
12-14-2008, 09:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
to say the truth i do answer them bck yeh but realy will u just leave them there to say what ever they want and i stay silent maybe i shud do that but sometimes u cnt control urselef and thats hard.....
u gotta learn to control ur temper.

yes i would not say something back but i wont sit there i'll go and tell my parents.

remember sisters and brothers always have arguments soo its normal.
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:36 PM
yeh it is normal to have arguments but not everyday and wen i go n tell my parents the dont say anythin only sumtimes and my brothers and sisters are all older than me accept 1 there 15 yers and above that wat makes it hard coz der all older than me
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Nájlá
12-14-2008, 09:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
yeh it is normal to have arguments but not everyday and wen i go n tell my parents the dont say anythin only sumtimes and my brothers and sisters are all older than me accept 1 there 15 yers and above that wat makes it hard coz der all older than me
am sure there not that horrible its just normal what goes on between brothers and sisters they always have arguments. trust me if u dont have arguments u will try and make something to annoy them so u could have one :p

am sure its not that serious just watch ur temper and try and get ur parents trust again. there must be something at why they dont trust. theres always a reason so speak with them.
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:45 PM
TRUE my sister and thnx for all the advice you gave me wallah i feel like they will help me alot thnx again sister u made me soo happy now ;D :D :) THANK YOU AND JAZAAK ALLAH HU KHAIR MY SISTER
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Nájlá
12-14-2008, 09:47 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ashjan95
TRUE my sister and thnx for all the advice you gave me wallah i feel like they will help me alot thnx again sister u made me soo happy now ;D :D :) THANK YOU AND JAZAAK ALLAH HU KHAIR MY SISTER
waiyyaki glad that ive helped

so am sure u know what u need to do now =)
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Ansariyah
12-14-2008, 09:47 PM
:sunny: good to see u smiling n happy. Just imagine someone messing wit u out of the home, ur family will be the first to finish anybody who messes up with u. *SMiles* sorry no smily does my smile any justice:p:
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Ashjan95
12-14-2008, 09:51 PM
good to see u smiling n happy. Just imagine someone messing wit u out of the home, ur family will be the first to finish anybody who messes up with u. *SMiles* sorry no smily does my smile any justice:
yehh true i noo how my family will care about me if anything happend to me but now and then there will be arguments and i will control my temper :) but if any1 messes with me there up for a good ARGUMENT lol .......x
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