I need your honest opinion please any comments

[AnonymousPoster]

I really need some advice im going mad in the state I am in I keep going round in circle I cant decide on the person that I actually am I don’t even know if I am a good person.

Well my friends who know everything about me and the people who know me or meet grow towards me really quickly im very easy to get on with I try my best not to back chat about people or be judgemental. Im really friendly person people at work (I wrk mostly with ladies) think that im always a happy and joyful person that makes their day.

However I avent always been like that I hae never tried to e cruel or deliberately hurt anyone but I may have gossiped in the past plus in my teenage years I was a really shy person to start with didn’t really have much friends or I didn’t have any family to rely on. My family were more culture orientated than religious the invironement I live is more cuture dominated. I used to pray but didn’t have strong knowledge about islam. I started to stay with the wrong crowed I just wanted to be accepted and longed for belonging. I am easily influenced i never had my own mind to think on as i my self were not aware of whats right and wrong. However that’s no excuse now that I know we are alone responsible for our action. I am ashamed to admit that I have commited some bad sins which I hate my self for but I cant change whats happened I have been involved in haram relationships in the past did the things kuffurs do kiss hug and other stupid stuff.

There are some people know about this from my school and made some others stuff about me which is not even true. I used to get people come up to me and tell me and say before i knew you i didnt really like you i heard this and that about you. This makes me more scared people just automatically judge me without knowing me

I dindnt see the things that were wrong with my lifestyle to me it was like everyone was involve with girl or a guy so it was like no big deal I used to be so much focused on music and movies. Its only recently dramatic change in my life took place and I started practising almost a year now I started reading up on islam I realised I have commited so much mistake and the life I was living can only bring distruction. I realised that I must have made allah so angry with me now im just scared that a bigger punishment waits for me. I have been through a lot lately but I just feel like that is not enough I feel like even a bigger punishemtn is waiting for me round the corner. I ask allah for forgiveness and I a trying to live a righteous life I hardly ever try to listen to music and try my best to perform five daily prayers. I do still have some weaknesses like sometimes I over sleep in fajr or get bit lazy but I am trying to improve. but im just so paranoid about what I have done I always feel negative towards my self I hate looking at my self every time I try to do good I remember my sins and it really brings me down I look at the people around me and think im not worth their love or anyone else’s.

I just feel like if im married I should be married to a bad person because I have done so much bad stuff at the past. I feel that I should get what I deserve I feel like I have no right over anything or anyone in this life as in the quran it says marry the idolters and wrongdoers to to some one like them. So I feel I have no right to complain if I feel sad or alone because this is what I deserve. I ask Allah for tranquity and give me ease but I just feel like im not loved by Allah I mean I have been so disobedient to Allah to my parents so I deserve all punishmet. How can I ask for anything good in my life.

How can I ask Allah to e granted a good spouse how can I expect to be burden on some one else. Honestly what would you really think of a person like me please be honest I really don’t mind I need to see my self throught he way others see me. Please give your honest opinion I don’t want you to say anything just to to make me feel better I get that already from my frieds but I think they just not telling me their honest opinion because their my friends.

Any comment small big appreciated.

Thank you

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:


On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (PBUH), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said:

A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: O Allah, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.



It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari).






On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said:

Allah the Almighty said:

I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.



(1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.



It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).



A Muslim has 3 feelings towards Allah; love, hope, and fear. The servant of Allah's fear should be used to avoid doing evil, his hope should be for Allah's Mercy so he doesn't despair, his love should be continuous which keeps the servant going forward.

Regret is one of the keys to an acceptable repentance, so ask Allah to forgive you, and to hide you your sins, and insha Allah He will be Merciful to you and hide your sins.

The believer fears his sins like a mountain on his head, but the hypocrite sees them as something little. So the believer repents to Allah, while the hypocrite, or if the person is weak in emaan thinks to himself that he will repent later on.



also read;

happiness in islam;
http://www.islamicboard.com/new-musl...ess-islam.html


it explains that Allah gives the believer a good life, the disbeliever has a narrow and constricted life. Understand it correctly, and apply it in your life.

...Never give up hope of Allah's Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith." [Qur'an 12:87]

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
first and foremost, congratulations on giving up the haram, and turning back to Allah...you've definatley achieved something great, walhamdulilah.

Secondly, it isnt our place to judge you...subhanallah, so you did bad stuff in the past, so what...? were all make mistakes...and that's why there is Taubah (repentance) to wipe those mistakes away..

I started to stay with the wrong crowed I just wanted to be accepted and longed for belonging. I am easily influenced i never had my own mind to think on as i my self were not aware of whats right and wrong. However that’s no excuse now that I know we are alone responsible for our action. I am ashamed to admit that I have commited some bad sins which I hate my self for but I cant change whats happened I have been involved in haram relationships in the past did the things kuffurs do kiss hug and other stupid stuff.

ukhtee, first: you have to be strong. if you don't stand for anything you'll fall for everything ..be a leader not a follower...don't go with the flow, cause you may just sink real low.

second:
get new friends, dissociate with those that influence and corrupt you. go to the masjid, etc and meet good muslimahs, inshallah.

There are some people know about this from my school and made some others stuff about me which is not even true. I used to get people come up to me and tell me and say before i knew you i didnt really like you i heard this and that about you. This makes me more scared people just automatically judge me without knowing me

who cares what people have to say...trust me, no matter what you do, youll never be safe form the tongues of peoples. just ignore them, when they see you dont care what they haev to say about you, then they'll get bored and stop, inshallah...

I realised that I must have made allah so angry with me now im just scared that a bigger punishment waits for me. I have been through a lot lately but I just feel like that is not enough I feel like even a bigger punishemtn is waiting for me round the corner.

stop worrying about what could be, worry about what is...for all you know you could be worrying about somethign that may not happen. take each day as it comes...otherwise, you'll just cause grief for yourself.

I ask allah for forgiveness and I a trying to live a righteous life I hardly ever try to listen to music and try my best to perform five daily prayers. I do still have some weaknesses like sometimes I over sleep in fajr or get bit lazy but I am trying to improve. but im just so paranoid about what I have done I always feel negative towards my self I hate looking at my self every time I try to do good I remember my sins and it really brings me down I look at the people around me and think im not worth their love or anyone else’s.

no sis! every time you remember your sins, dont let them bring you down! change that negative into a positive by asking for forgiveness! every time you feel guilt, etc don't let it get to you, don't feel hopeless and despair, change it and turn it into repentance!

I ask Allah for tranquity and give me ease but I just feel like im not loved by Allah I mean I have been so disobedient to Allah to my parents so I deserve all punishmet. How can I ask for anything good in my life.

because you want good, and allah grants to those who ask...hey Satan got what he wanted after he disobeyed Allah..and even worse theres no turning back for him :ooh: BUT there is turning back for you...dont be so hopeless :ooh: ask allah:thumbs_up

Please give your honest opinion I don’t want you to say anything just to to make me feel better I get that already from my frieds but I think they just not telling me their honest opinion because their my friends.

i think if you have a lowly image of yourself, then others will too...including your future husband...everyines imperfect, no is perfect...he'll have just as worse things about him, as you do yourself...were all human and we all make mistakes.
bottom line: if you respect yourself, others will respect you too, inshallah!