Rizq, Despair and Jannah

[yass]

Rizq, Purpose and Jannah


:sl:

Feel guilty writing this because i dont want it to adversely affect other people with regards to their imaan.

However i just wonder if there is anyone out there who has been through similar stuff.

I think it would be a understatement if i said i was living in a state of despair. On the surface i look fine but underneath my heart is in turmoil

a. Firstly (and probably the root cause of most of my negative state of mind) is i feel as though Allah has destroyed my Rizq. I have not been able to find a job for nearly a year now since leaving university. I know that there is no other power in the universe except Allah, and that all good and bad, all rizq and loss comes from Allah, so the fact that i have not been able to earn a living and have been reduced to living in a state of dependence on others (my family) i feel and carry deep guilt, especially since they had such high hopes of me before and supported me through my studies.

Every spoon of food i eat from home i feel guilty that i have to live off my parents despite being a young, healthy man who should be playing the role of provider.

I really had high ambitions and dreams, but have had them shattered in the last year or so.

b. This has affected me really badly in every area of my life, especially spiritual and relationship with my Creator. I feel i have no purpose in the creation of Allah. To the extent that there is a war being waged within me, for my soul right now, in which thoughts occur to me like "what is the point in existing like this? better that Allah had never created me, its not as if i asked for this life", at the same time i recognise this is a type of supreme ungratefulness but its becoming harder and harder to fight.

c. The News on TV just makes it even worse, i see the state of the Muslim countries, and the Ummah, i wish i was living in a different time period where a job/decent income were less important, at times i wish i was just a unknown soldier in the army of Salahuddin or some Caliph, there i would have a cause, a purpose and be striving for somethnig worthwhile, i would have a Amir and not die in a state of jahiliyah

d. finally, perhaps the most serious of all, i no longer desire Jannah. imsad

This is a terrible state of mind for anyone who has gone from being from a state of high imaan to this state. My only motivation for not committing major sins and other things is 1. the firm and unshakable belief in Allah as the only true God worthy of worship and 2. the fact that there is a Hellfire, but still thats 50% of my reason to be a good Muslim that has been heavily damaged.

With regards to Jannah i dont see the point in exchanging my earthly misery for a physical pleasure adobe, i no longer desire 70 hooors if i havent got money to support even 1 wife in world, i dont want gardens and palaces in the afterlife i cant even have a small place to call home and live in a dependent state on my parents. I dont want my own "Baraq" type creature if i am embarrassed everytime i get in my old car.

Anyway brothers and sisters i didnt post this to get your sympathy, there are others much more deserving than me, and i understand within this are some signs of extreme ungratefulness (perhaps the reason i am being punished? but even then c'mon...for a whole year???) i dont talk to many people about my issues (and since i dont blog) i just wanted to pin my inner feelings somewhere.

May Allah forgive me, May Allah forgive me if you become adversely affected by reading my sob story. Again, may Allah forgive us and save us from Hell.

[Snowflake]

assalamu alaykum

Brother I really don't know where to begin. Perhaps the first thing I should say is that it has only been 1 year of being unable to find a job. It is not a terribly long time. Could it be that with your qualification you'll only settle for a specific type of job? I don't mean to insult you but I have seen uneducated people come for the first time from pakistan and they are working full-time in take-aways, restaurants etc. I am wondering if you might be being too picky?


But please don't feel guilty for depending on your parents for now. Imagine how hurt they'd feel that their child feels like a burden to them. I'm a mother and I'd be deeply hurt if my son felt that way one day. I'd cut my own flesh to feed him if we were starving and he didn't have a job. That's the strength of mother's feeling for her child - God forbid it should happen.

You can still give so much to your parents by being obedient and doing chores for them, spending quality time with them and making your company a pleasure to be in for them. A paypacket is one of life's necessities. The biggest wealth is pious offspring.


InshaAllah, make dua for Allah subhana wa ta'ala to increase your rizak by doing the following;

1) Recite Sural al-Waqiyah for;

Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported that the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, ‘Whoever recites surah al Waqiah at night would never encounter poverty’
[Ibn as-Sunni 620, Bayhaqi]





2) Whenever anyone accepted Islam, the Prophet (SAW) used to teach him how to pray then he would instruct him to invoke Allah with the following words:

Allaahummaghfir lee, warhamnee, wahdinee, wa 'aafinee warzuqnee.

O Allah forgive me, and have mercy on me and guide me and give me good health and provide for me.

Reference: Muslim 4/2073, and in one of Muslim's reports there is the addition: 'For these words combine [the goodness of] this world and the next.'






3) Qadarullaahi wa maa shaa'afa'ala.
It is the Decree of Allah and He does whatever He wills.

Reference:

"The strong believer is better and more dear to Allah than the weak believer, and in each of them there is good. Be vigilant for what is to your benefit and seek the help of Allah and do not falter. But when you are striken by some setback, do not say: 'If only I had done such and such,' rather say: 'It is the Decree of Allah and He does whatever He wills.' For verily the saying 'if (i.e. if only I had) begins the work of the Devil." Muslim 4/2052.


Also brother, make lots of repentence and ask for Allah ta'alas forgiveness. Be steadfast in salah and do not miss Jumm'a. On Friday send peace and blessings on the Prophet in abundance.

InshaAllah we will pray for you. May Allah remove your difficulties and provide you with halal rizak. Ameen.


wa alaykum assalam.


http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/

[gladTidings]

Ws brother,

Firstly, just want to say excellent post sis!! I agree with sis SoJ. You may be a university graduate but that doesnt mean you will be offered a high end job on a plate and start earning loads as soon as.Unemployment is at an all time high at the moment, and jobs are being cut everyday. You will have to start somewhere, even if it is the local supermarket.

Allah swt says that He will not change the condition of a person unless they change themselves... so inshAllah take the first step, keep an open mind and start your job search. Pray to Allah swt that if it is the best for your dunya and your akhira then give it to you, otherwise keep it away from you. Also, your family will know that you are doing everything to find a job and wont blame you for being unemployed and like the sis said dont feel you are a burden on them, as they wont want to feel that they are a burden on you if there is a time that you have to support them.

You can have an active role in the household, help with the odd DIY jobs, cook and clean for your parents once in a while. InshAllah...it will help you from feeling useless and less guilty. Secondly, I think you need to stop feeling like you are being punished, rather see it as a test and persevere. Open the Qur'an and read the beautiful translations ad finally wake for tahajjud in the last third of the night and ask for whatever you wish.

Hope Allah swt answers your call..Ameen.
Ws.

[Snowflake]

Thank you sis. Yours too mashaAllah! Ameen to the duaa.

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[yass]

:sl:

I cant tell you how much your words mean to me right now, so Jazakallahu Khair, May Allah reward you immensely for taking the time to read and write to help others.

Again, May Allah reward you for your replies which have given me just the boost i need, and May Allah help me to help others.

:w: