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Cabdullahi
12-21-2008, 07:30 PM



In our teens...up to nothing
we talked and dreamt about the glitzy lifestyle...professing that it is truly something-
to die for...we had gotten very friendly with the art of procrastinating
sitting on apartment kerbs like fungus-
or like useless herbs... shrugging our shoulders from ironically no dust
uberous to the nerve our minds breathed in and took in-
the actions and behaviors’ of others around these hellish surroundings
thug emulating
waiting to be physically matured to then be dubbed
and welcomed to the club
it was me and a good friend
we had lurked around a close proximity to the drug fiends
witnessed hapless fellows being poked with daggers vigorously in the spleen
years passed us by…. but by then we were in too deep
kilo’s of brown bags, brutal drive by's ,dead bodies dragged, mothers wept .reality we couldn’t fathom, deluded as we were. we were simply too asleep
as close brothers i frowned when he told me he had to move uptown
a part of me went missing and as a result i became more ruthless i simply wouldn’t listen
hoping and deeply wishing for my life to end
a loss of a great friend i couldn’t apprehend
sometimes the very thought would send-
me into tears and to get my mind clear
i would imbibe lots of beer
it was midnight i had received a call to help out at an ambush
hopped in the car and drove in a rush
came out and proceeded with guns drawn
a whole neighborhood with ricochet’s of bullets was torn
eardrum bursting sounds... we closed on the dudes
slowly minimized them to three from an entire crew
live rounds flew my way, i took cover and shot back like a war veteran eventually two of them i slew
and the remaining fellow had no bullets left.. he was trembling and in panic
i rose with a mellow sensation..IM THE MAN NOW!..despite in the short space of time it was refreshingly chronic
from point blank range i shot three times at his cranium
and heard a familiar cry, it couldn’t be?? please no!..no! ..i removed his mask...gobsmacked i ..was in delirium
JUANITO!.....NOOOOOOOOOO
i screamed for help but everyone was gone, tonight i was lonely in mexico
and the devil was the only one there to find amusement in hearing my distraught echo
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Cabdullahi
12-21-2008, 07:32 PM
i just started writing this and i just kept on going and going,,, i never really proofread it
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Güven
12-21-2008, 07:46 PM
:salamext:

Brilliant as always...
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Ansariyah
12-21-2008, 08:17 PM
I felt like I was in the story...? is it made up or real?
MashaAllah great poem.
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Cabdullahi
12-21-2008, 08:20 PM
i got inspired by watching the news.,...about the drug trade epidemic in mexico and so therefore i compiled my thoughts together to produce a story
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Cabdullahi
12-22-2008, 12:47 AM
bumpy
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youngsister
12-22-2008, 01:41 PM
mashalla, dat was nice!!
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Na7lah
12-23-2008, 12:10 AM
woah that was simply amazing :ooh: sent a shiver down my spine
May Allah guide us all Ameeen
barakallah fik brother :thumbs_up
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Tony
12-23-2008, 12:21 AM
junior, google Anne Brontes poem that starts I hoped that with the brave and strong. Would post it but am useless. If you get a chance look at it and give me your opinion. Peace bro
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Tony
12-23-2008, 12:23 AM
Junior, sorry forgot half of what I was gonna say, I put first verse of this in a card for my gran when she died in mid eighties, would like to see a junior version of the poem
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Cabdullahi
12-23-2008, 12:26 AM
^ what??
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Na7lah
12-23-2008, 12:27 AM
Last Lines
by Anne Brontë


I hoped, that with the brave and strong,
My portioned task might lie;
To toil amid the busy throng,
With purpose pure and high.


But God has fixed another part,
And He has fixed it well;
I said so with my bleeding heart,
When first the anguish fell.


A dreadful darkness closes in
On my bewildered mind;
Oh, let me suffer and not sin,
Be tortured, yet resigned.


Shall I with joy thy blessings share
And not endure their loss?
Or hope the martyr's crown to wear
And cast away the cross?


Thou, God, hast taken our delight,
Our treasured hope away;
Thou bidst us now weep through the night
And sorrow through the day.


These weary hours will not be lost,
These days of misery,
These nights of darkness, anguish-tost,
Can I but turn to Thee.


Weak and weary though I lie,
Crushed with sorrow, worn with pain,
I may lift to Heaven mine eye,
And strive to labour not in vain;


That inward strife against the sins
That ever wait on suffering
To strike whatever first begins:
Each ill that would corruption bring;


That secret labour to sustain
With humble patience every blow;
To gather fortitude from pain,
And hope and holiness from woe.


Thus let me serve Thee from my heart,
Whate'er may be my written fate:
Whether thus early to depart,
Or yet a while to wait.


If thou shouldst bring me back to life,
More humbled I should be;
More wise, more strengthened for the strife,
More apt to lean on Thee.


Should death be standing at the gate,
Thus should I keep my vow;
But, Lord! whatever be my fate,
Oh, let me serve Thee now!
there are some nice parts in it
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Tony
12-23-2008, 12:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
^ what??
read it and see if it inspires you, I have been writer all my life, you have great talent, take it as a challenge and have a go
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Cabdullahi
12-23-2008, 12:33 AM
you want me to write a poem with the similar technique..inshallah i will have ago..perhaps u could help me with giving me a subject?


and who tha heck is muneerah?? i dont know nobody called muneerah!!..where are these new ppl emerging frm
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Na7lah
12-23-2008, 12:36 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
and who tha heck is muneerah?? i dont know nobody called muneerah!!..where are these new ppl emerging frm
M421 ^o) lol
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Tony
12-23-2008, 12:37 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
you want me to write a poem with the similar technique..inshallah i will have ago..perhaps u could help me with giving me a subject?


and who tha heck is muneerah?? i dont know nobody called muneerah!!..where are these new ppl emerging frm
No not miambic pentameter, but the topic of the poem, even though life is hard and dark and nearly breaking her, her dreams and aspirations are battered, she longs to serve God and remain true in her heart. Not asking you to plageurise, just read it and spill whatever it makes you feel
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Ansariyah
12-23-2008, 12:37 AM
^I feel like u are me..our names seem very similar...:raging:

:p:
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Cabdullahi
12-23-2008, 12:52 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by TKTony
No not miambic pentameter, but the topic of the poem, even though life is hard and dark and nearly breaking her, her dreams and aspirations are battered, she longs to serve God and remain true in her heart. Not asking you to plageurise, just read it and spill whatever it makes you feel
okay i already have something in mind the subject will be about a teenager striving in the western world and i will use my own technique of compiling the sentences inshallah
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Tony
12-23-2008, 12:54 AM
I look forward to it brother. Peace
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Cabdullahi
12-23-2008, 11:29 PM
To this odd place i came
to a luxury i dreamt of coming to but it was incoherent with my thoughts,shame it was not the same


A new way of living meant things were far from easy
what is up?? everyone seems glumly and hurriedly busy and the behaviour's are sleazy


As a young innocent child there were things i shouldn't have been exposed to but nonetheless it has left its stain
dark like a moonless night on my brain


Peer pressure alongside the harmless tv box was more than enough to magnify
ugly and inactive thoughts in my mind....demonic propelled urges would then as a result multiply


''when i grow up i will rid myself from the clinging spores of society''
but the common saying above equates to i'll drop in the ocean and further persist that i would stay dry,i guess i lacked piety

because the earth is the ocean of fitna
it engulfs you in,whether black,white or yellow all are eligible ..it stretches out vile hands like the cartoon character edna

its a phenomena absolutely incredible
and through religion is the only way to stay impermeable

in this mental battlefield
the winner is he who sacrifice's that extra bit,and what a great recompense does it yield


but unfortunately we proceed to be arrogant and proceed to treacherously lie
despite knowing very well that our tongues,hands and feet will testify







i tried to keep it as short as i could
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Güven
12-23-2008, 11:31 PM
Woaah MashaAllah reaaaaaaly goood bro ! :ooh:
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Na7lah
12-23-2008, 11:55 PM
your writing is improving so much mashallah :)
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Cabdullahi
12-24-2008, 12:04 AM
thanks sister muno and thanks guvay!!!
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Tony
12-24-2008, 12:08 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
To this odd place i came
to a luxury i dreamt of coming to but it was incoherent with my thoughts,shame it was not the same


A new way of living meant things were far from easy
what is up?? everyone seems glumly and hurriedly busy and the behaviour's are sleazy


As a young innocent child there were things i shouldn't have been exposed to but nonetheless it has left its stain
dark like a moonless night on my brain


Peer pressure alongside the harmless tv box was more than enough to magnify
ugly and inactive thoughts in my mind....demonic propelled urges would then as a result multiply


''when i grow up i will rid myself from the clinging spores of society''
but the common saying above equates to i'll drop in the ocean and further persist that i would stay dry,i guess i lacked piety

because the earth is the ocean of fitna
it engulfs you in,whether black,white or yellow all are eligible ..it stretches out vile hands like the cartoon character edna

its a phenomena absolutely incredible
and through religion is the only way to stay impermeable

in this mental battlefield
the winner is he who sacrifice's that extra bit,and what a great recompense does it yield


but unfortunately we proceed to be arrogant and proceed to treacherously lie
despite knowing very well that our tongues,hands and feet will testify







i tried to keep it as short as i could
That is fantastic, I think that your writting has just evolved, well done Junior and may Allah bless you and His peace be upon you
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Cabdullahi
12-24-2008, 12:13 AM
thanks i feel as if though this way of writing is more 'poem like' and i personally like my poems to be hiphop orientated and comparing it with the poem posted above i feel its chalk and cheese,maybe the hiphop flavoured poems hold an unorthodox style which is unusual to the many on this forum
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Tony
12-24-2008, 12:18 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
thanks i feel as if though this way of writing is more 'poem like' and i personally like my poems to be hiphop orientated and comparing it with the poem posted above i feel its chalk and cheese,maybe the hiphop flavoured poems hold an unorthodox style which is unusual to the many on this forum
Yeah bro thats good ou know what you like, your hiphop style is banging. But yor poetry is something truly special. i hope you find the correct channel to enable others to hear what you have to say. There are many writers around, some good some ok, but I am serious when saying you stand out from them all. Do you read other works or artists
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Cabdullahi
12-24-2008, 11:38 PM
its all about the ''appearance''
fashion extravagance
we've all been fed the 'celeb' potion
so lets roll camera,action!
the need to be by any means flawless
accompanied by the feel of complete freeness
mixing the two leads to a replete of blindness
so whats the insight?
simple! it is to ignite
dependencies and a tendency
on worldly things,then you suffer 'soul deficiency'
and self-sufficiency
girls with sculpting jeans
constantly spilling the beans
brainless, so no brain cells to figure
36....24...36 body figures
walking mannequins
worth nothing
silly sex objects
horizoning promiscuity the situation has become perplex
but well done to those with visual acuity
mental visual sharpness of 20/20
hurdles are plenty
despite that they've stuck to the boundary
life time is short so just wait few minutes more for your eternal bounty

this is a poem i did sometime back and this is the sort of style i like the most,i love to keep sentences short with powerful meanings behind each line that pack a punch
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Tony
12-25-2008, 06:06 AM
excellent bro
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Cabdullahi
03-12-2009, 01:47 PM
bump
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