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anonymous
12-22-2008, 02:44 AM
Asalaamalykum

I know a brother who has asked me to make this thread for him.

I love this girl and she loves me. We have both decided we want to marry each other. But the problem is how do i get around doing this the halal way? What must i do first? How exactly must i apporach her parents? I am scared that her father might not approve of me. Is the fathers consent necessary to have a nikkah?
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Yanal
12-22-2008, 03:23 AM
If you want it in a halal way yes the fathers consent is required.Tell your father and then he'll do what he wants.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
12-22-2008, 03:26 AM
:sl:

I like the title of this thread, reminds me of myself lol. Anyway, may Allaah make it easy for you two and join you two together in marriage! :)

I love this girl and she loves me. We have both decided we want to marry each other. But the problem is how do i get around doing this the halal way? What must i do first? How exactly must i apporach her parents? I am scared that her father might not approve of me. Is the fathers consent necessary to have a nikkah?
It's gladdening to know that you two are wanting to do things the proper way, the best thing for two that love each other is marriage. She cannot get married without her wali's [which is her father] permission. So get her dad's number from her and either contact him yourself or get your family to contact, preferably the latter. If I were you, I would ask the sister what exactly her dad's expecting from a suitor. Then simply meet and talk with her father. Not too hard :)
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BlissfullyJaded
12-22-2008, 03:36 AM
:sl:

Your friend needs to talk to his own parents first. And inshaAllah they will do the talking which would be most appropriate. The father is the wali, and nikaah without a wali is null and void. If the father doesn't approve of your friend to be the husband of his daughter, surely he loves her more than your friend happens to and knows what is best for her given that he actually has raised her and provided her for all her needs. If he doesn't consent, then there is no reason to try to do it without his consent, but rather communicate with him. If not directly, then if the girl has brothers who like your friend perhaps they can do the convincing for him, or the girls uncles could help.

And in the end...remember that Allah is the best of Planners.

May Allah grant you both what is best for you'll. Ameen.
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noorahmad
12-22-2008, 06:10 PM
tell the girl to talk to her mum, and talk to your parents, ask your dad, how he managed to get your mother's hand!!! :)
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Sahabiyaat
12-23-2008, 11:36 AM
that is useless, fathers dont care how they got around to asking for their mrs hand, they dont want nobody coming near their little girl and thats final!...kind of stupid really.

this is a serious matter, one wrong move, and everything could go all bloody and messy. So take ur time. Think!
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IbnAbdulHakim
12-23-2008, 03:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
that is useless, fathers dont care how they got around to asking for their mrs hand, they dont want nobody coming near their little girl and thats final!...kind of stupid really. !
what on earth are you talking about...
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AnonymousPoster
12-23-2008, 03:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
that is useless, fathers dont care how they got around to asking for their mrs hand, they dont want nobody coming near their little girl and thats final!...kind of stupid really.
that's not true, it's more stoopid if Yr dad gave Yu away to a complete nut case who he has most probably known for 10 mins or a day or so,

I know poppa wud say 'no' if a random dude approached him and I'm grateful for that,

Ders a reason behind everything,

Re: I want to marry a girl

Nice title...Me 2 :-[ Infact i wna marry 4..

Anon#2
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Re.TiReD
12-23-2008, 03:37 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

TJ....to this persons father the dude would be 'random'.

Anyway, bro Abu Sayyad's advice is kool masha'Allah.

And dont be afraid they wont like you, its normal to feel that way but insha'Allah things will go well for you.

WassalamuAlaykum
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AnonymousPoster
12-23-2008, 03:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amatul Wadud
AssalamuAlaykum

TJ....to this persons father the dude would be 'random'.

Anyway, bro Abu Sayyad's advice is kool masha'Allah.

And dont be afraid they wont like you, its normal to feel that way but insha'Allah things will go well for you.

WassalamuAlaykum
I know people in this situation and it's going to be hard, if it doesn't happen :( then it was never meant to happen (God forbid),

If you really love each other though, stick to the halal and don't give up,

It is possible you know, but it's hard to accept easily from Yr poppas point of view, he probably doesn't know as much about the girl Yu know,

I think Yu need a loooooooooooong family chat & don't forget the box of tissues *sniff* can get emotional...

P.s Ama Yu sent the PM to me, i wasn't in the story comp muppet brain lol. hmm this isnt 'thingys' thread is it? :skeleton:
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Re.TiReD
12-23-2008, 03:47 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

Nah I'm not sure whose thread this is and I sent it you so that you can tell Teaj. Lol

But I think that yeh...you have to prepare yourself for things to be difficult from the parents I guess.

WassalamuAlaykum
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AnonymousPoster
12-23-2008, 03:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Amatul Wadud
AssalamuAlaykum

Nah I'm not sure whose thread this is and I sent it you so that you can tell Teaj. Lol

But I think that yeh...you have to prepare yourself for things to be difficult from the parents I guess.

WassalamuAlaykum
:mmokay: We're not friends any more! lol


Yeah you can spend Yr whole life preparing and it might not end up the way thread starter hoped it to end, so just don't get your hopes up, I hope it works out for you though, inshaAllaah,

Man my replies probably depress him, but...had to be said. Sorry
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Ummu Sufyaan
12-24-2008, 08:57 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam...
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
Asalaamalykum
I am scared that her father might not approve of me.
why wouldn't he approve of him..has he got some kinda crimnal record :p nah...but if theres nothing major to worry about, then i think its just nerves and the guy should just relax...


format_quote Originally Posted by Amatul Wadud
AssalamuAlaykum

TJ....to this persons father the dude would be 'random'.
why would he be random:? and if he is random, then cant the guy get to know him somehow...for eg, do they go to the same masjid or something?...

but seriously, if i were in those shoes, i would just take it slowly slowly...take time to get to know the dad/the family...i dont mean necessarily face to face, but just get some background info FIRST from someone about the dad and how he may take it...just yh, slowly slowly



If he doesn't consent, then there is no reason to try to do it without his consent,
agreed :thumbs_up
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