Many Blessings to you all!
Ok so since I've been lurking and posting for the past couple of days I thought it was time to make an official introduction post.
In another thread a member posted a revert story for me to read and I thought I would carry an excerpt from it over here to help explain myself. I hope this is acceptable.
Christian Minister Converts to Islam - Why?
For 43 years, my religious identity had been neatly labeled as "Christian", however many qualifications I might have added to that term over the years. Giving up that label of personal identity was no easy task. It was part and parcel of how I defined my very being. Given the benefit of hindsight, it is clear that my hesitation served the purpose of insuring that I could keep my familiar religious identity of being a Christian, although a Christian who believed like a Muslim believed.
This rings so true to me. Allow me to explain...
Sometimes it's hard for me to consider Islam because for my entire life I've been told that any other way but the way that I was raised (Baptist) would result in hellfire. So I am afraid to consider other beliefs because I fear the consequences. My psychological self is in constant turmoil and I bet myself up all the time for even considering something different than I was "taught."
My mother always used to joke with me and said I should be a "Jew" since my belief in Jesus was that he was a wonderful man and prophet and that when he said he was the "Son" of God, he meant that we are all "sons and daughters" of God. I never felt right about having to pray through Jesus to reach God and I certainly never understood the "The Father, The Son and the Holy Ghost." (What is that exactly? I still don't get it.) Who is the Holy Ghost?
But I felt torn because I did believe in Jesus and I felt like I was in the wrong for not praying and believing how I was taught to pray and believe.
20 years later, I'm still conflicted inside and confused. I will not lie. I believe in one God and I believe that Jesus was one of his prophets and his message was beautiful and loving. I guess my next leap of faith would be to accept my feelings, learn to believe Gods loves me and understands my trials and my questions and allow myself to study Islam and Muhammad.
See I'm afraid to study about Muhammad. I'm afraid that it's "against" the rules. Jesus is supposed to be the only "one" and it's against what I was taught to seek outside him. (I hope that makes sense.)
And that folks is just my inner problems. I still have to consider my family, my husband, my community, my job...
Ahh God bless...wouldn't it be so much easier to just not believe in anything? :haha: