Marriage issues

[HilalQueen411]

Asalamu Alaikum,

I want to become a Psychologist, dealing with family and marriage counseling. However, I cannot always fix things in my marriage, and sometimes do not see a way out from the sadness or disappointment. So I wonder how can I become a psychologist to help people, when I cant even help myself?

My husband and I have recently hit another rough spot and I dont know what to do. I want to cry, but I dont because I do not have the strength to cry. I want him to take more responsibility with his son, when I ask him can he do something I'd like for him to do it without complaining. I know I should pray to Allah, I know that. I just really need someone to understand where I m coming from...and he doesnt. Someone to listen to me...imsad I feel so taken for granted.

I dont want to fall into a depression, because Im prone to it. I know I will if we keep circling these problems.

Allahu Alim
Oh Allah keep me

[AnonymousPoster]

Hey sis,

honestly i know exactly what you mean. EXACTLY what you mean. i feel so taken forgranted too.. he always complains and nags at everything, he's made me into his little slave but if i ask him for ONE favour..ONE.. he flips out as if its the end of the world. he cheated on me for 6 month with some girl a lot younger than him and i forgave him and took him back *im stupid i know* and instead of trying to make all my paranoia go away he constantly makes me resent him more and more and more. but trust me sis, i know what you mean. all you can do is talk to him..which is a lot easier said then done (no point for me cuz he doesnt listen anyways) and just pray to Allah, ask him because he listens. he would never put u in a situation you cant get through. but honestly be strong, dont let any person break you down.

feel free to pm me sis if you need someone to talk to

God bless

[Yanal]

Asalam Alaykum Warakmatulah Wabarkatuh
I don't understand what you are asking of can you clarify?

[HilalQueen411]

I just need some advice, words of wisdom. But I guess my main question is do I stay or go?imsad

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[syilla]

I just need some advice, words of wisdom. But I guess my main question is do I stay or go?imsad

ukhtee...sometimes you have to remember you can't change people. You can only hope the person can change.

And sometimes we have to look into ourselves...whether our expectation is too high?

As a woman...we have to be wise and clever to get what we want. I know sometimes men love to complaint. But if you bring him a tea or give him a massage, would you think he will complaint after that. Try asking a bit favor nicely after doing a nice thing for him. But don't ask too much...before they hate us for being bossy.

Guys have stressed (from their work especially) too...and sometimes a wife tend to forget. AND Womennnnnnnn always get stressed...lol. So try to enjoy yourself and have 'me' time occassionally. You have to remember children doesn't need a supermom but they need a caring and loving mother. You have to take care, relax and learn to solve problem wisely before starting to blame others. Try to learn to ask favors from other family members and friends. Learn from them how they solve problems and manage their family. This is what marriage all about, decision making and having responsibility. You can't quit just because your hubby loves to complaint. :thankyou:

p/s:- Don't expect too much what others can give...but lets try to learn to solve thing wisely. And remember duas and salah help alot. :thankyou: Being grateful for what you have now does help too.

[HilalQueen411]

JazakAllah to you all. I really needed someone to hear me out. May Allah bless you all. Also my husband and I are working things out.