format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
im kind of lost at the moment.
im finding things really difficult. I wake up at Fajr.real sleepy and cold.wishing everybody else in my family would wake up with me and that we could pray together. They say that the family that prays together, stays together. And I know how true, or untrue that is in my case. It's depressing :cry:
I hate being the only one who attempts to practise. I try to pray on time.I try to stop the gheebah, sometimes I avoid going out with family because I know I'll miss salah. As a result I get called arrogant for not spending much time with family. But thats only because I take time in Ibaadah, in trying to increase my 'Ilm. And spending time with family consists of sitting infront of the TV and watching a movie :'( why would I wanna do that? I get called ignorant because I wont talk about others. Called extreme for trying to learn more.
I feel like such a failure. My Islamic education stopped at 15.after that I went mainstream, but I dint attemp to continue learning the deen. I was made to feel, and did feel content with what I already knew. But 'Ilm is lifelong.I just realised that, and because of me stopping.I have a big gap in my Islamic Learning. I feel useless. I'm trying to learn but dont know how. I'm so confused and the one place I should be able to turn - my family or parents. I cant.
I hate being mocked or looked down upon just for trying to be a better person. I hate it. I wish it wasnt like this. I feel so lonely at times even though I have a great family with the cutest siblings. Alhamdulillah. But I cant relate to them.
I only have one real link to Islam. Just one person who means the world to me. And now I'm afraid I might lose him. I cant lose him, I just cant :cry: if I lose him then I lose the chance to be happy to increase my 'Ilm .I'm sick of feeling like a stranger, i want to feel as though I belong. and with him it'll be ok, i know it will. I once doubted wetha or not he was the one for me, he seemed so sure but i wasnt. i am now though. but i think i myt lose him coz my family wont understand.
I want to pray with others praying with me. I dont wanna wake up at fajr to the sound of silence anymore. I hate it :cry:
Please make du3a for my family
I get called extreme just for trying to learn things, my brothers take the p*** if they hear me saying insha Allah or subhan Allah or at the way I say assalamu alaikum when I answer the fone.
I hate it. My sister calls me a T******** for using islamic websites and if my mum or sis knew I was using islamic forums I dont know what they'd think/say.
I wanna be close to my family. I really do. But the way things are.Just makes me go further into my lil world of books and The only thing that keeps me going is salah. Really.
I've had enough of the tension and I just keep quiet and dont speak nowadays but I know sooner or later I'll get called arrogant again and I just feel so different and apart from my family :cry:
What does she call Yu?
Sister, come here, c'mon, closer to the screen, *squishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy HUG*
Now, Yu and I both know very well that the reason Yu are being called these names is not because Yu are doing anything wrong but because Yr family have realised Yr doing things (good things) that they are not doing, I am sure inside they are ashamed and are going through much guilt and the only way they can get back at Yu is through these names, don't let it get to Yu, carry on being Yrself and soon they will realise Yu are doing nothing wrong, if they mock Yu don't say anything back, just hold it in and try not to say anything, even if it gets really hard, Yu don't want to start arguing with Yr family especially Yr rents that's the last thing Yu want to do,
Even I get told off for being away from my family, Yr not alone, take it as a good thing, it means they’re missing Yu and enjoy Yr company, Yu can read books while Yr family watch TV and talk to them during a break, in the same way Yu can go out with Yr family, even to the market place if Yu have to, there are ways in which Yu can do good wherever Yu are,
لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له، له الملك وله الحمد يحيي ويميت وهو حي لا يموت بيده الخير وهو على كل شيء قدير
Laa 'ilaaha 'illallaahu wahdahu laa shareeka lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, yuhyee wa yumeetu, wa Huwa hayyun laa yamootu, biyadihil-khayru, wa Huwa 'alaa kulli shay'in Qadeer.
None has the right to be worshipped but Allah alone, Who has no partner. His is the dominion and His is the praise. He brings life and He causes death, and He is living and does not die. In His Hand is all good, and He is Able to do all things.
It is stated in the hadith that if a person reads the above du’aa in the market place,
Allaah writes ten lakh rewards for him and forgives ten lakh sins and raises his status by ten lakh, and a house is prepared for him in Jannah.
N.B. one lakh = 100,000 (Tirmidhi)
Note: Whoever recites this du’aa [in the market place], Allaah will reward him with a million virtues (hasanah), forgive a million of his sins and elevate his rank by a million Reference: At-Tirmithi 5/291, and Al-Hakim 1/538. Al-Albani graded it good in Sahih Ibn Majah 2/21 and Sahih At-Tirmithi 3/152
Reference: At-Tirmithi 5/291, and Al-Hakim 1/538. Al-Albani graded it
good in Sahih Ibn Majah 2/21 and Sahih At-Tirmithi 3/152.
(Yu can find it on LI Abdul Baari’s thread/Abu Sayyads)
Don’t give up on gaining ‘Ilm, get Yr family hooked too, May Allaah reward Yu and guide Yr family, Aameen,
About this ‘One person’ that’s ridiculous sister, there are plenty more fish in the sea and from what I see from Yr thread, Yr a very special sister, sisters like Yu are hard to find, how many sisters have Yu met that continues to learn deen and practice Islaam while their family do not? It’s very rare, May Allaah grant Yu a pious brother, who loves the deen just like Yu, who is steadfast in prayer and has a thirst for ‘Ilm, Aameen,
Being alone during fajr isn’t a bad thing, turn it into a positive, weep before Yr Lord and ask for His help, Verily Allaah answers the prayers of every supplicant, so pray Yr heart out sister! And if Yu want Yu can have a sisters get together at fajr, Yu can go to Yr friends house or they can come round and Yu can pray together,
Peace & Love to Yu,
PK.