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View Full Version : Gving dawah to neighbours. How do you do it?



Daffodil
01-14-2009, 12:02 AM
Asalamualaykum wr wb

I live in a terraced house so I have ALOT of neighbours. I know that its our obligation to make sure our neighbours are well and not in need of anything and to treat them extremely well and to give them dawah.

My question is, how in todays society CAN we give them dawah. I hear alot of people saying we should talk to them about Islam etc but my next door lady isnt the social type. She clearly doesnt want to speak to any one or even open her front door to the postman because she has a note on the front door saying, please leave all parcels in the back.

Am I meant to knock on her door and say hi, would you like to come to my house for tea? In this day and age people just want to be left alone. They dont like their neighbours to bother them or talk to them. They like to be left alone. British people are incredibly reserved. Not all but alot are.

When we moved into this street me and my husband knocked on peoples front doors and introduced ourself and said if you need anything just give us a knock etc but people just looked at us funny as though we were aliens. I felt a bit stupid because theyre obviously not used to people knocking on their doors being friendly for no reason other then to be friendly!

So how can we take care of our neighbours like Islam expects us to when our neighbours dont really want to know?

Also what about the sisters on here? I barely go out unless theres something specific for me to do like visit family or need something from the shop which my husband cant get for me or to the doctors. I am literally at home most of the time ALHUMDULILLAH. So I rarely meet non Muslims long enough to give them dawah. How do I fulfill my obligation as a woman in Islam?

Its an obligation upon women as well as men to spread the deenullah so how can we do it?

My husband does a regular dawah stall in town and helps out in other projects etc and I fully support him doing that whilst I have the kids but what can I do my self?

I have two kids so bear this in mind. I dont want to work because theres no need for me too so working just to give dawah isnt an option for me.
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Daffodil
01-15-2009, 09:32 PM
From the no responses at all Im assuming no one knows/gives dawah to their neighbours?
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Pk_#2
01-15-2009, 10:03 PM
Selam aleykum

One of the major problems that I see within the community around me where I live; is that people who give dawah don't take the time to get to know who they're talking to. It is almost as if, they just try and say as much things as they know as possible to as many people as possible, thinking that this is the best way to gather hassanat.

Imagine going to a doctor, and telling him you are sick. Imagine that the doctor starts writing you prescriptions for various medicine, and everytime you come back he gives you a different medicine until you are cured. Now most people will tell you that is a stupid methodology. A smart doctor would first examine you, try to figure out what is wrong with you and then try to fix you up. In fact giving the wrong medicine for a disease can make things worse then they already were. The same applies to dawah. If you don't listen carefully to the point somebody is making, and just answer with anything that you think might be relevant or even slightly related. The risk is that the person thinks Islam has no answer to his question, or has the wrong answers and he probably won't ask it to someone else in the future anymore.

I open up my msn and suddenly a window pops up with a conversation.
All the person says is: www.thisandthissitecontainingdawah.com
I reply: aselam aleykum, what is most important, giving salams or giving URL's?
The guy replies: wa aleykum selam, you're right, I should say salam. See the thing is, I have more then 50 people on my list and I want to give the link to all of them, because if one of them reads it, I get hasanat for it. Even if they don't read it, I still get the hasanat for the intention. But I don't have time to greet all 50 people.
Incedently, the one time that I contacted this specific brother with a serious question that I had on my mind, he told me that maybe it would be best if I bought a book (from his bookstore) about it and looked it up myself.

Another example; You see a guy among muslims saying he is an atheist, and immediately 20 guys start throwing questions at him well what do you think created the universe, where do you think you're going to when you die? It's like a blind guy who's throwing stones at a mosquito in the middle of the night because it's keeping him out of his sleep. My first question to somebody who says he's an atheist would be: "Why are you an atheist?" "When did you become one?" "What triggered it?"

If you ask me, dawah should not be about getting as much hasanat as possible. It should be about trying to help people for Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) his sake. It should be out of empathy and a desire to share what is good. Yes it's true that we only have the responsibility to pass on information, nothing more. But isn't a Muslim supposed to desire for others what he desires for himself? So if passing on information doesn't work, shouldn't we at least take the time to check why? Shouldn't we at least put some effort in the dawah, and get to know the person who after all is taking the time to listen to you. What makes this person tick? What experiences has this person had? What are his views? What does he base those views on? How can you ever reach this person if you don't know this? And Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows best and I don't know.

Originally posted by Abdul Fattah on Idawah.com

Actually it's changed to Islamic-Life.com



يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا
!أَنصَارَ اللَّهِ

"O you who believe! Be you helpers (in the Cause) of Allah.."

(Surat As-Saff)


All the best sis in your da'wah.
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Daffodil
01-15-2009, 10:26 PM
Jizakallah kheir for your reply however in my post I was more asking, how can we give dawah to our neighbours as they are so reserved and dont want anything to do with 'nerighbourly friendliness'
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Pk_#2
01-15-2009, 10:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Daffodil
Jizakallah kheir for your reply however in my post I was more asking, how can we give dawah to our neighbours as they are so reserved and dont want anything to do with 'nerighbourly friendliness'
Thing is sis, the neighbours closest to me are Muslims and those far away are very 'to themselves' :X

What mom does is when its Eid or Ramadhan, she takes food to some of our neighbours and they do ask you know, like:

'What, is it hanukah already?' ;D

Then obviously you get to talk about Eid or Ramadhan or whatever occasion it was,

It's something small but opens the space for da'wah.
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Pk_#2
01-15-2009, 10:49 PM
Sorry about the question marks, I posted this on ID when it was messed up, =(

Da?wah Tips


.. simple little things also serve as da?wah, they can effect the way people walk away from us and think ?wow, maybe Muslims aren?t all crazed killers? she seemed pretty nice?.

For example, in the comments, one sister mentioned paying attention to who was in line first. (mall or sumin)

So here are my tips:

1) Yeah, the line thing. Please, respect the queue. Don?t shove, don?t push between people to get closer to the front.

2) If you?re in the check out lane and the person behind you has just a few things, let them go first. After a hard day, when you just want to grab a soda and snack, wouldn?t you appreciate not having to stand behind someone with a full cart?

3) Give good eye contact to people of your own gender. While we should lower our gaze with the opposite gender, there is no reason that we have to avoid like the plague other women (I say women, because it seems this is something where we are more likely to do this than men). Smile when you are passing another woman, say good morning or hello. Why not? I actually had a woman walk up to me in the grocery store after we had passed each other in two aisles and ask ?Are you Muslim? Is it okay for me to say good morning to you?? When I said yes and returned her greeting, she laughed and said ?Okay, I didn?t want to offend you, I don?t know if you are allowed to talk in public, but we?re obviously gonna be shopping pretty close together this morning.? I took the chance to ask her opinion about a product I couldn?t care less about, just to be able to smile and chat a moment because I thought it does make a difference.

4) When little kids say hi, say hi back. Would it kill you to smile and return a greeting from a cute little kid? Even when they ask me why I cover my face, I just smile and say it?s what I believe in, but I don?t act like I can?t hear them trying to get my attention.

4b) When a little kid loudly asks their parent why I have my face covered, I wait to see how the parent will answer, and if they seem okay, I smile and say hello to them or tell them what an observant/cute/mature child they have. Everyone likes to have their kid complimented, and it makes them feel less tense about if their kid just offended you. It also lets them see that you really are pretty ?normal?.

5) Really, this should go without saying, but yes, hold doors for people! Pick things up and return them when someone drops it, move out of the way when you see someone struggling to get by you, give the appropriate right of way.

6) Again, I think this is just obvious good manners, but those are woefully lacking here in America anyway, and Muslims should be the best examples. So, when you see an elderly person, always give them the right of way, always let them get past you, never be huffy when you are stuck behind them, offer to assist them when you see them having a difficult time with something, and always hold doors for them.

7) Be nice to people who serve you (i.e. cashiers, waitresses, etc.). Their job is to tell you to have a nice day, but take a moment to wish them a nice day also. If you see that they are harried, joke that you hope the rest of their day isn?t so hectic or something along those lines. Just express a normal level of human compassion and appreciation for their assistance.

If you can?t afford the standard tip, you shouldn?t have gone out at all. And you will be remembered. Especially us covered sisters, really, think about it you will be recognized the next time you come in and treated according to the way you treated the service staff last time you were in. And yeah, alot of people think all hijabis and niqabis look the same, so you may just be treated according to the way the last sister behaved. Don?t be the sister who makes it hard for others. Oh, and along the same lines, if your kids made a big mess (as kids sometimes do), leave a bit bigger tip.

9) Get to know your neighbors. At least greet them when you see them out. Mention the weather or whatever other cheesy thing you can think of LOL. Compliment their yard or garden. Tell them their puppy is cute when they?re out walking him (you don?t have to touch the dog to admire him). Take a plate of food to the single elderly lady across the way.

Source: http://writeoussisterspeaks.wordpress.com/
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