Need support

[Ridwan127]

Hi all. Im a muslim and I need some advice about a relationship i am in at the moment. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2 months and already we feel so strongly about each other. We touch and flirt most of the time when we are together. I know what we are doing is not halaal. Sometimes i wish i never met her, my life would be so much easier. I dont know how to explain it, i feel guilt and sometimes sick when im with her, because i know what we are doing isn't right. I fear Allah.
My girlfriend feels quite the opposite, she thinks that all of this feels right (im different from the other guys she has dated) because the past relationships she has been in weren't exactly long term. She is my first ever girlfriend, and knowing that she has been with other guys.. well i just feel uncomfortable with that. Even if i wanted to let go of her, I would regret it and it wouldn't be so easy. I know that she is serious about me because she sometimes randomly cries on my shoulder when im with her, we dont get so see each other often, sometimes we would see each other once in 3 or 4 weeks. Should i still be in this relationship? I just don't know anymore imsad

[Dawud_uk]

Hi all. Im a muslim and I need some advice about a relationship i am in at the moment. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2 months and already we feel so strongly about each other. We touch and flirt most of the time when we are together. I know what we are doing is not halaal. Sometimes i wish i never met her, my life would be so much easier. I dont know how to explain it, i feel guilt and sometimes sick when im with her, because i know what we are doing isn't right. I fear Allah.
My girlfriend feels quite the opposite, she thinks that all of this feels right (im different from the other guys she has dated) because the past relationships she has been in weren't exactly long term. She is my first ever girlfriend, and knowing that she has been with other guys.. well i just feel uncomfortable with that. Even if i wanted to let go of her, I would regret it and it wouldn't be so easy. I know that she is serious about me because she sometimes randomly cries on my shoulder when im with her, we dont get so see each other often, sometimes we would see each other once in 3 or 4 weeks. Should i still be in this relationship? I just don't know anymore imsad

:sl: ridwan,

i think you know already that relationships before marriage are haram dont you?

so either you should marry her or leave her, there is no other option.

as for feeling jealous about previous relationships, it hardly seems right you are judging her for what you yourself are doing now.

:sl:

[peaceandlove]

:sl:

Well , you already know that you are doing ,what is not allowed , so just do tobah , may Allah forgive you , and if you both are serious about each other just marry .

[Ridwan127]

Hi Dawud. The answer to your question is yes. I have to tell her sooner rather than later otherwise it'll be even more difficult for me to leave her.

Thank You for your reply

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[Ridwan127]

:sl:

Well , you already know that you are doing ,what is not allowed , so just do tobah , may Allah forgive you , and if you both are serious about each other just marry .

Marriage isn't an option for me, not at this age. If i leave her she will be heart broken and so will I. I dont want to feel this guilt anymore.

[Dawud_uk]

Marriage isn't an option for me, not at this age. If i leave her she will be heart broken and so will I. I dont want to feel this guilt anymore.

brother if you are old enough to be having such a relationship you are old enough to marry, it is the culture around you that says no not islam.

[Ridwan127]

Is it not possible to still be in a relationship and knowing that one day we will get married in the future?

[alcurad]

by getting engaged.

[Dawud_uk]

by getting engaged.

no, only through going through a nikkah is it possible to have a relationship with this girl, if you choose to then not live together whilst you finish school then this is up to you.

Ridwan,

i know brothers who married their wives when in their teens and at school, some lived seperately until older or some moved into one of the parents houses, one couple used to live at one set of parents in the week and one set at weekends.

sheikh khalid spoke at this at a talk he did in leicester recently, that we should allow the young to marry as already surrounded by the fitnah so allow them to marry and walk to school each morning hand in hand with their wife, doing things halal not haram.

[halloula]

salam
brother i agree with all the posts what you doing is haram you have to marry her a leave her hurting her and husrting yourself is better that commiting a big sin

salam

[Abu AbdulRahman]

brother..

it not your choice.. it is Allah's

he created us and he know us better than we, so let Him control us

That girl is belong to Him.. she is His slave as you are, and He ordered you not to meet her A

[Abu AbdulRahman]

brother..

it not your choice.. it is Allah's

he created us and he know us better than we, so let Him control us

That girl is belong to Him.. she is His slave as you are, and He ordered you not to meet her, rather not to touch her.. so you have to obey His will, haven't you?

even you marry her, or you be engaged with her.. do you have another choice?

is it make her harmed? so you have to know that it will be more harmed at the hell if you and she continue this relationship

think by your mind brother not your heart

and you have to love Allah more than that girl

[Zahida]

:sl: The answer is in Brother Dawuds reply. Act on it. Marry her or leave her for you know that you are commiting a sin...............:w::blind:

:sl: ridwan,

i think you know already that relationships before marriage are haram dont you?

so either you should marry her or leave her, there is no other option.

as for feeling jealous about previous relationships, it hardly seems right you are judging her for what you yourself are doing now.

:sl:

[muslimah_4ever]

salaam,
you say that she feels the opposite of you. Then there is no hope for the both of you being together. The first step is to realise you made a mistake. Now you must seek forgiveness from Allah (swt) the most forgiving, and that includes repenting, avoiding the sinful (your girlfriend), and lots and lots of sincere salaat. Imagine you were to die tomorrow, do you want to have this situation as your last deed on earth.
You must feel conflicted, but it will be ok, inshallah, as long as you follow Allah (swt).
May Allah (swt) help you in this matter.

[Ridwan127]

Thank You Brothers and Sisters

[Baji-Ji]

While on this topic, this situations probably not simular to ridwan's but if parents agree to get you married to someone of your choice but later i.e (in a few months or next year etc) is it permissable to have a nikkah without the knowledge of your parents provided you have asked them for a nikkah severral times?

[index123]

If shes muslim, pray to allah for his blessings and ask him to let it work out if its good for and ask repentance for doing that illegally and marry her. My Allah guide you.

[MO783]

:sl:

Well , you already know that you are doing ,what is not allowed , so just do tobah , may Allah forgive you , and if you both are serious about each other just marry .

:sl:

totally agree, just ask her is she serious and get elders involved. Otherwise you will have to let go but advise her what it wright and wrong.

[Ridwan127]

Dear brothers and sisters,

I have tried to leave her, but she keeps fighting back. My heart is telling me to hold on and my mind is telling me different. We cannot get married so soon, I Love her and I care about her alot; marriage isnt an option for me at this moment of time. Not being able to be with her everyday is hard, we get to see each other once every 3 or 4 weeks. The lies and betrayal she has to go through with her parents just to see me, I feel responsible for all this. We are so compatible together, i honestly cannot see myself with anyone else. If i have to, i would wait for her when the time comes, but i do not know how she will take all this. Ive hurt her several times already and i can't force myself to do it again.