embarasin q !

[anonymous]

i need sum thoughts from other males who'v had gfs in tha past and regreted it?

explanations n regrets n thoughts plz to put me off the idea!!!

thnks!!!!!!!

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaam wr wb brother i hope your well inshallah! My brother your here today searching and wanting peace and happiness back in your soul because going towards Islam is the ONLY way to gain true happiness in this life! NOTHING else in this world will EVER give us true happiness and contentment but with Allah! Allah confirms this himself in the Qur'an!

We have ONLY been created to worship Allah my brother and in the Qur'an the almighty tells us how to gain success in this world and the next! We will ONLY gain success in this world and the next by being FULLY obedient to Allah and his commandments and ONLY then will we be truly happy and content in this life! If we do this then Allah will also give us a fulfilling life in this world brother that is a guarantee!

My brother we should NEVER swap the next world in place of this world! This world is just so temporary and NOTHING compared to the REAL pleasures of Jannah! We can work our WHOLE lives 24/7 and build a wonderful life for ourselves here and then the next day we die before we can even enjoy the fruits of our hard labour!What was the point of all that investment just in this world when it can end at ANYTIME!

Lets not invest too much into this world lets invest as much as we can to the next world which is our final and ultimate destination! The prophet(saw) says to that we should treat this life as if it were just on a journey! This life is not a very long stop until our final abode which is the hereafter!

When investors are looking to invest in a business venture do they look for short term gains or long term? Obviously long term brother and thats what we should be looking for because the cleverist person is the one who makes arrangements for the hereafter and not only in this world! Thats not to say that we should'nt have our share in this world of course we should but we should invest most of our time in the next life which is for ETERNITY! If we don't then we will regret it forever because on the day of judgement when were standing infornt of Allah we will ask him to give us another chance and put us back on earth so that we may do things better and never transgress but Allah will say i gave u MANY chances and you did not come towards me now you can go towards Hell! We would NOT be able to handle a single second in the hell fire brother we cannot even imagine how terrifying this will be so we should do our best in this life to seek protection from it and make our good deeds balance as heavy as possible!

Brother we get SO many chances everyday! Allah waits for his servants to change and he gives us SO many chances but at ANY moment our chances could run out and we would be certainly doomed! We don't want this my brother we have the chance to change now!

Allah has blessed u so much by wanting to guide you because you coming into this forum and wanting to change for the better is Allah wanting to give you guidance and bring you closer to him! How will he give you guidance if you don't grab it? So grab the guidance brother with both hands! If you walk towards Allah he will RUN towards you! Don't you feel happy that Allah wants to guide you? But it is all upto you now to grab the guidance and grab this opportunity! Its now or never! If u fail now and don't change then Allah will remind you of this day and say to you do you not remember how many chances i gave you on this time or that time etc! Then you will have NOTHING to say!

Brother once you come towards deen you will feel better than you have EVER felt! These girlfriends are a distraction from shaythan who wants your doom! You will NEVER be happy with having girlfriends just more pain,anguish and anger from Allah! Relationships NEVER work out and even if they reach marrige MANY of them end up in divorce and i have seen MANY examples of these and all they cause is pain brother and enevitably when relationships don't work out then scarring can be left on the 2 people for a long time which wastes SO much time! Shaythan wants us to come closer to him so he can distract us away from the deen and away from Allah!Lets not let him win!

Once you come towards deen and when your ready for marrige then do things the halal way and inshallah Allah will give u a perfect pious partner who will truly love you and you can both practice the deen together and have a fulfilling happy and contented life and both together can worship Allah and practice Islam together! Don't even consider getting into a relationship and hurting and torturing yourself and gaining the ANGER of Allah!Don't you want blessings in your life? Don't you want to live a life of fulfilment and true happiness and contentment? The DON'T EVEN THINK OF GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP FOR YOUR OWN BENIFIT!

None of these celebrities,rich people or playas are truly happy! Shaythan may sometimes decieve us into thinking they are but i promise you brother they are DEFINATLEY NOT! They will NEVER be satisfied with what they have but a true muslim may have SO little in this world but he could be the happiest and most contented person on this earth!

Allah gives true happiness to his servants but Allah does test us! He tests us in MANY ways to see if we will be patient and how will we react! Once we passed brothr then Allah tells his angels of our glad tidinds of paradise because Allah says in the Qur'an that he is with the one who is patient!
Lets go towards Islam brother and grab this most AMAZING chance by Allah to get guidance from him! Lets not wastse these precious seconds brother because time is SO precious that we cannot imagine how much! Once our time is up then we can never get it back and death can NEVER be pushed back or forwarded it will come in its appointed time!

So brother this is your chance to aim HIGH and gain the HIGH positions in paradise! Allah wants you to come closer to hi so grab this opportunity and lets go away from shaythan who wants our destruction by distracting us with worthless time wasting that will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!Brother come towards Allah and You will NEVER regret it and thank you will thank him for it for the rest of your life and live a life of TRUE happiness instead of fake happiness with shaythan!

I thought i would attach a file for you about the 10 ways to increase ones imaan and i feel you will find very benificial inshallah! Please brother if you have ANY qustions or problems or quesries or need help with anything then please don't heistate to ask but for youre own iman save yourself from the evil of having a relationship!You will NEVER be happy in one and shaythan wants you to go into on so that you can come closer to him! Take care! Allah hafiz

[aminahjaan]

Salam, I know, I know I'm not a dude but I DO know about something exxxactly like this. Well I know someone who has had a girlfriend and he regretted it a lot. Well actually he had multiple gfs, he was a "playa" or a "stunna" or whatever it is haha. It was funny actually he had this sudden epiphany where he decided to stop and put his jersey down. If I remember correctly it was because of one of those workshops or whatever you know those Islamic things? Where Sheikhs or scholars come over and share their knowledge. He's not a bad guy he was just confused. There were soo many rumors about him and what he did with girls it was gross. So anyways, he felt horrible and I don't know exactly if he stopped cold turkey or if it was a process. He changed his number, he deleted his myspace where he had all the non-muslim and girl friends. And the process of becoming more religious began to start.
But think how much time you would waste having girls around? Do they matter that much? haha and trust me personally, in a girls point of view, it's seemingly biased but I don't think I would think much of a guy who has a known reputation of having girlfriends. Noo I would not. Something to think about.

[Donia]

JazakAllah Hamza. Brother, that was really a great post.

Relationships outside of marriage are really not what they're cracked up to be. Not worth it at all. Allah has explained the right path to us and we should do our best to follow it and keep our duty to Him. Only then will we be successful. Be patient, and inshallah you will be rewarded with a good wife.
May Allah guide us all - Allahumma Ameen.

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[IbnAbdulHakim]

get a gf if you want a cheap dunyafied meaningless empty relationship


get a wife if you want something real

[anonymous]

Asalaam wr wb brother i hope your well inshallah! My brother your here today searching and wanting peace and happiness back in your soul because going towards Islam is the ONLY way to gain true happiness in this life! NOTHING else in this world will EVER give us true happiness and contentment but with Allah! Allah confirms this himself in the Qur'an!

We have ONLY been created to worship Allah my brother and in the Qur'an the almighty tells us how to gain success in this world and the next! We will ONLY gain success in this world and the next by being FULLY obedient to Allah and his commandments and ONLY then will we be truly happy and content in this life! If we do this then Allah will also give us a fulfilling life in this world brother that is a guarantee!

My brother we should NEVER swap the next world in place of this world! This world is just so temporary and NOTHING compared to the REAL pleasures of Jannah! We can work our WHOLE lives 24/7 and build a wonderful life for ourselves here and then the next day we die before we can even enjoy the fruits of our hard labour!What was the point of all that investment just in this world when it can end at ANYTIME!

Lets not invest too much into this world lets invest as much as we can to the next world which is our final and ultimate destination! The prophet(saw) says to that we should treat this life as if it were just on a journey! This life is not a very long stop until our final abode which is the hereafter!

When investors are looking to invest in a business venture do they look for short term gains or long term? Obviously long term brother and thats what we should be looking for because the cleverist person is the one who makes arrangements for the hereafter and not only in this world! Thats not to say that we should'nt have our share in this world of course we should but we should invest most of our time in the next life which is for ETERNITY! If we don't then we will regret it forever because on the day of judgement when were standing infornt of Allah we will ask him to give us another chance and put us back on earth so that we may do things better and never transgress but Allah will say i gave u MANY chances and you did not come towards me now you can go towards Hell! We would NOT be able to handle a single second in the hell fire brother we cannot even imagine how terrifying this will be so we should do our best in this life to seek protection from it and make our good deeds balance as heavy as possible!

Brother we get SO many chances everyday! Allah waits for his servants to change and he gives us SO many chances but at ANY moment our chances could run out and we would be certainly doomed! We don't want this my brother we have the chance to change now!

Allah has blessed u so much by wanting to guide you because you coming into this forum and wanting to change for the better is Allah wanting to give you guidance and bring you closer to him! How will he give you guidance if you don't grab it? So grab the guidance brother with both hands! If you walk towards Allah he will RUN towards you! Don't you feel happy that Allah wants to guide you? But it is all upto you now to grab the guidance and grab this opportunity! Its now or never! If u fail now and don't change then Allah will remind you of this day and say to you do you not remember how many chances i gave you on this time or that time etc! Then you will have NOTHING to say!

Brother once you come towards deen you will feel better than you have EVER felt! These girlfriends are a distraction from shaythan who wants your doom! You will NEVER be happy with having girlfriends just more pain,anguish and anger from Allah! Relationships NEVER work out and even if they reach marrige MANY of them end up in divorce and i have seen MANY examples of these and all they cause is pain brother and enevitably when relationships don't work out then scarring can be left on the 2 people for a long time which wastes SO much time! Shaythan wants us to come closer to him so he can distract us away from the deen and away from Allah!Lets not let him win!

Once you come towards deen and when your ready for marrige then do things the halal way and inshallah Allah will give u a perfect pious partner who will truly love you and you can both practice the deen together and have a fulfilling happy and contented life and both together can worship Allah and practice Islam together! Don't even consider getting into a relationship and hurting and torturing yourself and gaining the ANGER of Allah!Don't you want blessings in your life? Don't you want to live a life of fulfilment and true happiness and contentment? The DON'T EVEN THINK OF GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP FOR YOUR OWN BENIFIT!

None of these celebrities,rich people or playas are truly happy! Shaythan may sometimes decieve us into thinking they are but i promise you brother they are DEFINATLEY NOT! They will NEVER be satisfied with what they have but a true muslim may have SO little in this world but he could be the happiest and most contented person on this earth!

Allah gives true happiness to his servants but Allah does test us! He tests us in MANY ways to see if we will be patient and how will we react! Once we passed brothr then Allah tells his angels of our glad tidinds of paradise because Allah says in the Qur'an that he is with the one who is patient!
Lets go towards Islam brother and grab this most AMAZING chance by Allah to get guidance from him! Lets not wastse these precious seconds brother because time is SO precious that we cannot imagine how much! Once our time is up then we can never get it back and death can NEVER be pushed back or forwarded it will come in its appointed time!

So brother this is your chance to aim HIGH and gain the HIGH positions in paradise! Allah wants you to come closer to hi so grab this opportunity and lets go away from shaythan who wants our destruction by distracting us with worthless time wasting that will NEVER benefit us but cause our doom!Brother come towards Allah and You will NEVER regret it and thank you will thank him for it for the rest of your life and live a life of TRUE happiness instead of fake happiness with shaythan!

I thought i would attach a file for you about the 10 ways to increase ones imaan and i feel you will find very benificial inshallah! Please brother if you have ANY qustions or problems or quesries or need help with anything then please don't heistate to ask but for youre own iman save yourself from the evil of having a relationship!You will NEVER be happy in one and shaythan wants you to go into on so that you can come closer to him! Take care! Allah hafiz

thnk you so muc for tha.....u must hav taken while writin that up.. jazaak Allah khayr..

Salam, I know, I know I'm not a dude but I DO know about something exxxactly like this. Well I know someone who has had a girlfriend and he regretted it a lot. Well actually he had multiple gfs, he was a "playa" or a "stunna" or whatever it is haha. It was funny actually he had this sudden epiphany where he decided to stop and put his jersey down. If I remember correctly it was because of one of those workshops or whatever you know those Islamic things? Where Sheikhs or scholars come over and share their knowledge. He's not a bad guy he was just confused. There were soo many rumors about him and what he did with girls it was gross. So anyways, he felt horrible and I don't know exactly if he stopped cold turkey or if it was a process. He changed his number, he deleted his myspace where he had all the non-muslim and girl friends. And the process of becoming more religious began to start.
But think how much time you would waste having girls around? Do they matter that much? haha and trust me personally, in a girls point of view, it's seemingly biased but I don't think I would think much of a guy who has a known reputation of having girlfriends. Noo I would not. Something to think about.

intresting.. thanks ...yep summin to tink bout

JazakAllah Hamza. Brother, that was really a great post.

Relationships outside of marriage are really not what they're cracked up to be. Not worth it at all. Allah has explained the right path to us and we should do our best to follow it and keep our duty to Him. Only then will we be successful. Be patient, and inshallah you will be rewarded with a good wife.
May Allah guide us all - Allahumma Ameen.

yep


but

theres this girl n shes just.. so swwet n she seems so .. kind n modest.. but deep inside i know thts not tru,n i kno no relationship is ever posible between me n her.. i try n stay away from her .. but sumtimes shes just near me without my choice

then the gf desire comes up.. astaghfirullah

i kno its rong.. i know reasons why gfs r forbidden in islam and alhamdulillah, the reasons r clear.. i just want sum words from a muslim who himself regrets it..i think it mite help me....

[anonymous]

plz sum1 i neeeed this....

or if ane1 knows sum1 who can giv their thoughts via them?

plzzzzzz

[anonymous]

also can sum mod chang title to embarasin q ! plz help me

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

theres this girl n shes just.. so swwet n she seems so .. kind n modest.. but deep inside i know thts not tru,n i kno no relationship is ever posible between me n her.. i try n stay away from her .. but sumtimes shes just near me without my choice

i have no idea what to say expect STAY AWAY as much as possible. think of the fitnah that comes with her... dont seek to go near her. if shes around you against your will, just think of something else...i dont know, imagine a hoori instead or something...


where the heck are the brothers. im a sis...i wouldnt have a clue about this...

[anonymous]

get a gf if you want a cheap dunyafied meaningless empty relationship


get a wife if you want something real

And yet people find this hard to understand.

Anon.

[AnonymousPoster]

One potential reason: Keeping pure for your wife. Imagine if she spent her whole life keeping away from guys, staying chaste for your sake, and you weren't able to give her the same. How would she feel?

[anonymous]

:sl:

i have no idea what to say expect STAY AWAY as much as possible. think of the fitnah that comes with her... dont seek to go near her. if shes around you against your will, just think of something else...i dont know, imagine a hoori instead or something...


where the heck are the brothers. im a sis...i wouldnt have a clue about this...

thanks fo advice

And yet people find this hard to understand.

Anon.

and yet ppl find it hrd to understand tht humans r not perfect,n strangely enough for u,some wil try to solv their problems step by step whether thts throo internet or w/e

hv sum respect. ur post did nothing.

One potential reason: Keeping pure for your wife. Imagine if she spent her whole life keeping away from guys, staying chaste for your sake, and you weren't able to give her the same. How would she feel?

hm.. thanks a lot fo advice


any first hand experienceers out ther?

[HelpAbdulHameed]

As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

You should not ask the brothers to expose their sins. But if you feel sexually tempted than just get married & if you can not, than remember when the Prophet said it is Prescribed on you Fasting. Trust me fasting helps.

Also, think of Allah when any trial comes near you, if you fear Allah, than this is what will help you the most.

If you ever fall into error than seek repentance as quick as possible.

As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

[Faseeha]

i need sum thoughts from other males who'v had gfs in tha past and regreted it?

explanations n regrets n thoughts plz to put me off the idea!!!

thnks!!!!!!!

The fact that you're asking for reaffirmation from others is because you already know how wrong this is. If you thought you were doing the right thing you wouldn't be asking for advice. I'm not a male so i can't respond from a male's point of view, but i do know that if we do actions that we don't feel right about, regret always comes after.

theres this girl n shes just.. so sweet n she seems so .. kind n modest.. but deep inside i know thts not tru,n i kno no relationship is ever posible between me n her.. i try n stay away from her .. but sumtimes shes just near me without my choice

then the gf desire comes up.. astaghfirullah

Sometimes temptation is really strong but we can be stronger. If you believe she has those qualities mentioned above, then as other posters have said, marry her. If that isn't possible at this point and time, then let it go. It's not easy to do so, but rather a short amount of pain now then years of regret later right??

[alcurad]

get married, end of story. I mean really, it's only natural for men to desire women, so do the right thing, and get married. it begins with asking for her hand. if you are engaged, you can talk and so on, well you can talk even before, but you get what I mean. and that might give you a better idea about her, maybe she's not so cool after all, that, or you'll be able to have a halal relationship, no more gf, bf.
and do remember, there are millions of girls who are also sweet and whatever you fancy, it's not like she's the only female on earth.

[anonymous]

As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

You should not ask the brothers to expose their sins. But if you feel sexually tempted than just get married & if you can not, than remember when the Prophet said it is Prescribed on you Fasting. Trust me fasting helps.

Also, think of Allah when any trial comes near you, if you fear Allah, than this is what will help you the most.

If you ever fall into error than seek repentance as quick as possible.

As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

hmm.. i wudnt say the biggest thing here rite now in the prob im describin is temptation,its more wanting to know her more,wich will eventually lead to gf bf maybe and even worse things. get me?

thank you tho

The fact that you're asking for reaffirmation from others is because you already know how wrong this is.

gd thing,rite?

If you thought you were doing the right thing you wouldn't be asking for advice. I'm not a male so i can't respond from a male's point of view, but i do know that if we do actions that we don't feel right about, regret always comes after.



Sometimes temptation is really strong but we can be stronger. If you believe she has those qualities mentioned above, then as other posters have said, marry her. If that isn't possible at this point and time, then let it go. It's not easy to do so, but rather a short amount of pain now then years of regret later right??

tht is also tru.. thanks

get married, end of story. I mean really, it's only natural for men to desire women, so do the right thing, and get married.

not possible

and do remember, there are millions of girls who are also sweet and whatever you fancy, it's not like she's the only female on earth.

tru..v tru.. thanks..


im stil hoping for a first hand experiencer....it'd just be tht litle extra bit tht i need

[AnonymousPoster]

Well bro, nobody has this "1st hand experience" here, and i dont think it makes a difference

Bro simply stay away from her, hand with you brothers

Get married to her if you like her, by asking your parents

If you are not willing to get married forget about her, stop wasting your time, do something better for your deen.

Ive been in your situation, where you think you love someone etc, well you you love her so much, then get married to her, if not then let go.

Bro, you know what to do.....SO THE RIGHT THING!

Right thing....

1) Get married
or
2)Stay away

Which one is it going to be?

ANON X

[anonymous]

Well bro, nobody has this "1st hand experience" here, and i dont think it makes a difference

ther mite be,n to me i think it will.

Which one is it going to be?

prob stay away,bt as i said sumtimes shes just there without my will,n i stil want that 1st hand experienceer

[AnonymousPoster]

no it wont, this thread should be closed now, you have been given choices by various of peoples now

It up to you now, JUST DO THE TIGHT THING!

[AnonymousPoster]

DELERE PREVIOUS POST PLEASE!

no it wont, this thread should be closed now, you have been given choices by various of peoples now

It up to you now bro , JUST DO THE RIGHT THING!

Knowing first hand experience makes no difference.

We are all pious brothers here, and people dont want to tell their sins.

LOWER YOUR GAZE

ANON X

[Yanal]

Asalam Alaykum Warakmatulah Wabarkatuh
All I have for you is a Hadith. The prophet (PBUH) said "Whenever a man and women are alone the devil makes the third. just remember this Hadith and may you be protected from all kinds of fitnah.

[anonymous]

and yet ppl find it hrd to understand tht humans r not perfect,n strangely enough for u,some wil try to solv their problems step by step whether thts throo internet or w/e

hv sum respect. ur post did nothing.

My post was a reflection of my own past.

Some may try to give you the world's advice in these situations, when they remain sinning in the very thing you ask of.

The truth is, you will always be tempted no matter what, you won't be deterred after listening to a few dating horrors. The strength comes from Allah, when He places the fear in our heart.

Anon.

[Donia]

I highly doubt that you are going to get exactly what it is you are looking for. I don't think anybody is going to admit that they have had girlfriends and now they regret it. You have gotten some good advice. It seems like you are leaning towards just staying away and I think that would be a good idea of course. If you are around her in situations you can't control, then lower your gaze. Don't look at her and if you can leave, leave. Ignore shaytan. He is probably putting these thoughts in your head. I know you're curious about her and that's natural but it's best to just leave it alone since you have said it's not possible to get married. Sometimes it's easy to do the things that are bad for us and harder to do what's right. If you are still in doubt, then pray about it.

[anonymous]

DELERE PREVIOUS POST PLEASE!

no it wont, this thread should be closed now, you have been given choices by various of peoples now

It up to you now bro , JUST DO THE RIGHT THING!

look,insha'Allah i will do the rite thing.... if u ctually read my posts i said i just want that lil extra first hand experience from sum1..if i dont get it then fine,but the thread shall NOT be closed cuz the point/want of the thread hasnt been received!!!!!

We are all pious brothers here, and people dont want to tell their sins.

iv definetly read first hand experience of this in the past,but i cant seem to find it on search engine so ther we go.plz,ur not in my position,try n understand.

Asalam Alaykum Warakmatulah Wabarkatuh
All I have for you is a Hadith. The prophet (PBUH) said "Whenever a man and women are alone the devil makes the third. just remember this Hadith and may you be protected from all kinds of fitnah.

yes iv seen that b4. thanks.

My post was a reflection of my own past.

Some may try to give you the world's advice in these situations, when they remain sinning in the very thing you ask of.

The truth is, you will always be tempted no matter what, you won't be deterred after listening to a few dating horrors. The strength comes from Allah, when He places the fear in our heart.

Anon.

hm,thanks.

I highly doubt that you are going to get exactly what it is you are looking for. I don't think anybody is going to admit that they have had girlfriends and now they regret it. You have gotten some good advice. It seems like you are leaning towards just staying away and I think that would be a good idea of course. If you are around her in situations you can't control, then lower your gaze. Don't look at her and if you can leave, leave. Ignore shaytan. He is probably putting these thoughts in your head. I know you're curious about her and that's natural but it's best to just leave it alone since you have said it's not possible to get married. Sometimes it's easy to do the things that are bad for us and harder to do what's right. If you are still in doubt, then pray about it.

thanks v much. yes,i think i'l pray about this insha'Allah..gd idea....