When no legal method exists for the lover to attain his love object

[anonymous]

got this from ibn ul-Qayyims book of the medicine of the prophet :)



When no legal method exists for the lover to attain his love object

If there is no legal method that the lover can attain his loved object or because of his inability to do so, or both, then passion will become a difficult disease in this case and the afflicted person needs to feel that he cannot satisfy it. It is a fact that when the heart feels hopelessness in something, it will no longer seek to acquire it.
If the disease, passion, still exists even under these hopeless condition, then the nature of the person would have deviated and the person needs to try another solution, that is, attending to his state of mind. The person afflicted with what it cannot attain constitutes madness, and that the case is similar to whoever loves the sun, the only way to acquire it is to ascend to it! Everyone understands this is madness.
If one cannot attain his loved object because of a legal barrier that the religion erected, he should convince himself that acquiring his passion is not feasible because Allah did not allow it to happen. He should know that for his safety he should abandon such a matter and be certain that it is virtually impossible that he will ever attain it.
If one’s whose heart orders him to do evil does not comply with these cures, let the slave abandon the matter for fear of losing whoever is more beloved to him, more beneficial and who offers a longer period of contentment and joy. In this case, the afflicted person will come to realize the difference between the two objects. Therefore, one should not prefer the joy of an hour that would soon turn to pain compared to eternal joy that is incomparable. The reality of the short-lived joy is that it is a daydream or a mirage that will soon end and fade away, but the responsibility would remain.
Also, one should realize that this might lead to a hateful loss that is worse for him that losing the coveted object, and thus his loss would multiply, losing the coveted object and acquiring a hateful outcome. When one realizes these facts, then losing the coveted object because less in his heart and being patient becomes more worthwhile. The mid, religion, honor, and human nature then require the afflicted person to be patient I the face of losing a lesser loved object, for in this case, patience would soon earn him joy, contentment and happiness. On the other hand, ones ignorance, transience, injustice, and immaturity order him to prefer the lesser coveted object whatever the cost. Those whom Allah gives immunity will be saved from this end.
When ones heart does not accept this solution and dislikes using the remedy that we mentioned, let him think about what evil repercussions satisfying his lusts would bring about and what gains it would cause him to lose. He should realize that satisfying his lust is the major cause of an evil outcome in this life, as it prevents the slave from using his mind that is the controller of his actions and which should be used to lead him to benefit instead.
If ones heart still does not accept the remedy we mentioned, let him remember the shortcomings and unlikable characteristics of the coveted object, so that he might dislike the object, as well. When one thinks about this subject, he will realize that such shortcomings supersede the good qualities that made him like that object. Let him also ask the neighbors of his loved one about what he does not know of their attributes and behavior. It is a fact that as much as the good qualities river loved ones closer, the shortcomings drive them apart. Then, one should weigh the two sides and choose the best and most beloved path to take. He should not be among those who are deceived by the colour of an otherwise leprous skin, Let one think beyond the beautiful exterior of the true reality of things. Let one look beyond the beautiful shape to the inner evil of the heart.
If all those these remedies do not work, there will be no resort except seeking Allah who answers the calls of those in distress when they invoke him. Let him through himself before His Door seeking His help with humbleness, humility and meekness.
Those who are led to this type of success should act honorable and keep their affair a secret, so as not to expose the love one to the people and cause them harm, or else he will be committing a transgression and an injustice.