Reasonable and Practical Mahr?

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

So married people, can you tell us what you think reasonable and practical mahr is? Sisters? Brothers?

In general, because I'm sure it's not right to ask for specifics..

And non married sisters, what would you ask for?

Brothers, what are you planning on giving?

[Yanal]

What is mahr?

[Caller الداعي]

mahr is dowry

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

^ The reason people like myself aren't married. :P

Seriously though, it's a mandatory gift that the groom has to give the bride. Usually its an amount of money. She is allowed to ask for how much she wants.

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[Woodrow]

All I will say is I promised Aabidah the ring of her choice. I am in big trouble. It will take me another 10 years to save enough to pay for it.

However, she did sign the Nikkah with the promise she will get it.

Her choices of what she desired is a Qur'an and a husband with strong de'en.

[Güven]

A Diamond ring :shade:

[Yanal]

Then I'll give her two rings. The first one will be a crappy one then when she frowns I'll give her a diamond set (inshAllah if I have enough money).

[Al-Hanbali]

This should be interesting....

[alcurad]

a kiss & a happy life, atm, I'm broke :) working on it though.
but usually people where I come from ask for something like $20k-$25k. atleast..well not atleast, but it's not uncommon. it really depends whether the two families are marrying or only the bride and groom, get my drift..
bro Abu Sayyad, don't worry, it's all worth it:), when's the happy news?

[Intisar]

:sl: Hmmmm hard question, I doubt most practicing sisters are materialistic so I don't know. I'd probably just ask for some jewelery lol (not too expensive though, like maybe a gold bracelet and necklace; it doesn't have to be real gold either).

[Güven]

Can the brother not ask the bride what she wants or must the brothers find out himself ? or is that too embarrassing to ask :exhausted

[Pk_#2]

A cat! ;D

[Danah]

it depends on the....
country the bride from
culture or background society of her
the level of her family......many girls from rich family dont ask for a little amount of many, but there are always exceptions

here, usually they the groom give the bride a specific amount of money and she can buy whatever she want.....some grooms give golds in addition of money....people are crazy about golds here

so the same goes for me, I will expect a specific amount of money but it has to come from a "real Da'ee"

dont care about how much, men deal with such things "fathers and brothers" so I dont bother myself that much

[Re.TiReD]

A cat! ;D

If I was forced to ask for something, I'd ask for the sunnah amount....is it like £200 or something? Other than that, whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours dude, and thats all there is to it for me.

Some people say that you should ask for a considerable amount, as a fall-back incase something goes wrong, but subhanAllah you need to get married b4 thinking of things going wrong, and u cant get married if you ask for a 6 figure amount can ya.

Hmm there was a thread like this on ummah, lemme find my posts insha'Allah

WassalamuAlaykum

[Al-Hanbali]

If I was forced to ask for something, I'd ask for the sunnah amount....is it like £200 or something? Other than that, whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours dude, and thats all there is to it for me.

MashaAllaah, if the majority of sisters hold the same outlook, then maybe the brothers dont have to spend the first couple of years just paying off the Mahr!!

[Re.TiReD]

Ah here are my ummah posts, kinda dumb when taken out of context but there ya go:

Erm.....lol ok

Personally....I wouldnt wanna take 10k from him. And this isnt being naive or anything but....I dunno dude, why add that financial stress on him? Just want to be happy with him innit and thats it insha'Allah :blind:

WassalamuAlaykum

Sis just because you're leaving your home dont mean you gotta drain him of cash. Not as though he's tryna fill the void of u having to move outta ur house and leaving fam. Yeh its ur fallback and thats a good point....but its his duty also to provide for you. So some may not bother as much about a ginourmous mahr.

I dont get why people gotta be so materialistic though, I really dont know.

[Güven]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

[Pk_#2]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

Loadsa fings, make a mansion,

And if he's a weirdo then pay someone with it to kill him, i duno :hmm:

[Güven]

^:skeleton:

her money is my money innit so my money is her money, so basically if she buys a mansion with it that means its also my mansion.
so she putting me and herself into trouble with asking for that amount money.

...unless she buys a dress for 10k :hiding:

[Re.TiReD]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

Lol exactly.

She needs to realise marriage is all about give and take (and not just money)...Just as its difficult for her leaving her home and all that she knows, it'll be equally difficult for him having to take on the responsibility of another person and maybe a family bi'ithnillah

[youngsister]

:sl:

Isha Allah whatever he is able to give me, I wouldnt ask for anything he couldnt afford.

Anyways i realise that I dont even want to ask for anything I rather be suprised lol :D

[Pk_#2]

^:skeleton:

her money is my money innit so my money is her money, so basically if she buys a mansion with it that means its also my mansion.
so she putting me and herself into trouble with asking for that amount money.

...unless she buys a dress for 10k :hiding:

Yeah if she's buying a dress then 10K isn't enough, a girl needs matching handbags, shoes and jewellery with that, and if you want her to look extra cute, you'll need to include hair accessories =D

...And maybe a cute lil puppy to carry around (but since that not allowed a siK car will do)

..We shall still..never be happy,

Mahr....extra mahr...no mahr...makes no difference, we be's grumpy ppls...PREPARE YOURSELVES..

;D

Dun wana scare you akhi. :giggling: So I'll stop here..

[Danah]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

and what if I told u that there are girls ask for more than 50,000$...would u believe it? this is including the wedding party costs and everything else

well, I am not scaring anyone here, but unfortunately there are some extreme materialistic people in this world. and sometimes its not the girl who specified the money, but her family....and some families asked for a lot
Subhan allah as if this life is lasting forever


May allah grant everyone here with good wife/husband

[alcurad]

...And maybe a cute lil puppy to carry around (but since that not allowed a siK car will do)

hmm, what's so special about sick cats:?

[Danah]

lol @ PK......lets stop it now :D

[Güven]

........I pretend like I didnt read that :skeleton:

[Pk_#2]

lol @ PK......lets stop it now :D

sHtinkehh Yr sho cooote ;D

hmm, what's so special about sick cats:?

siK car* <_<

........I pretend like I didnt read that :skeleton:

Chik-chik-chikennnnnnnn ;D

Just for you:

A little bit I missed in my last post,

deep down inside we are really nice NICE very nice people.:sunny:

[Re.TiReD]

hmm, what's so special about sick cats:?

Sick cars...lol nothing special about em. Considering that being married is a great chance to have somebody drive you around =P

[Danah]

........I pretend like I didnt read that :skeleton:

calm down brother, those are not the majority.....many girls are looking for more important things than stupid money, but we just wanted to give u the whole picture of whats going on.

[Güven]

LOL Im am calm, VERY CALM ;D

and what do the men get ? beside losing all your money :hmm:

[Danah]

a family....so simple :)

[Güven]

a family....so simple :)

hmm.. thats reasonable.

[Pk_#2]

Sick cars...lol nothing special about em. Considering that being married is a great chance to have somebody drive you around =P

I wana drive him around but I want him to do the dishes...

LOL Im am calm, VERY CALM ;D

and what do the men get ? beside losing all your money :hmm:

You don't know? :o

[Ar-RaYYan]

:sl:

So married people, can you tell us what you think reasonable and practical mahr is? Sisters? Brothers?

In general, because I'm sure it's not right to ask for specifics..

And non married sisters, what would you ask for?

Brothers, what are you planning on giving?

To be honest, i dont want my mahr to be money or jewellery - never been interested in either of them. Inshallah if my future husband agrees I want him and I to go to umrah right after we get married so no fancy wedding just the nikkah. Inshallah that way our marriage will be blessed even more and who knows it might be the only time we can go pilgrimage as a couple.
So instead of paying the mahr, wedding and honeymoon we could use that money for umrah

[Intisar]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

:sl: It's sad I've seen people spending almost 100k on a wedding night and the next day they can't even afford to pay their bills. What's the point? I really don't understand.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

hmm bro im expecting to be charged £3000 at least :p

[Re.TiReD]

hmm bro im expecting to be charged £3000 at least :p

Charged?

LOL dont you bro's give it out of love? Or grudgingly?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Charged?

LOL dont you bro's give it out of love? Or grudgingly?

Mahr is what they ask for aint it? dowry is what we give lovingly lol

[Yanal]

Asalam Alaykum
You know this isn't helping brother sayyad it's just scaring gullable brothers like Güven.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Asalam Alaykum
You know this isn't helping brother sayyad it's just scaring gullable brothers like Güven.

lol it is?

how so :p

realistically a mahr should be as much as you can afford.

it would be sad if in say, america or london a brother cant scrounge up at least 3-5 thousand pounds for his wifes protection and benefit.

[Re.TiReD]

it would be sad if in say, america or london a brother cant scrounge up at least 3-5 thousand pounds for his wifes protection and benefit.

But I dont want him to give me money for my protection. He's supposed to be my protector....he's supposed to be the one who will take care of me and provide for me insha'Allah, what am I gonna do with the K's? he'll need it more than me....plus he can buy stuff for me with it instead :p

[Pk_#2]

Asalam Alaykum
You know this isn't helping brother sayyad it's just scaring gullable brothers like Güven.

Oppsie,

Sowi Goovi :giggling:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

But I dont want him to give me money for my protection. He's supposed to be my protector....he's supposed to be the one who will take care of me and provide for me insha'Allah, what am I gonna do with the K's? he'll need it more than me....plus he can buy stuff for me with it instead :p

hey be happy, its just paper we're talking about here. my mum got a huge huge amount of land lol


no wifes ever gnna get anything like that ;D

[alcurad]

and what do the men get ? beside losing all your money :hmm:

epic lulz for Gowen:D, meh you can always ask..

joking joking:).

cheers

[Ummu Sufyaan]

In general, because I'm sure it's not right to ask for specifics..
And non married sisters, what would you ask for?
Brothers, what are you planning on giving?

i would image it would depend on what he had. seriously, if i lived in a society where the mahr was payed in animals (it can be payed in animals, right?), i would ask for a Hud Hud (a hoope). i would ask for abit more than that though...

but if he was way loaded, i would ask to spend Ramadan in mecca (if my mum doesn't kill me that is)

i think it'll be best for the sisters to take into consideration what he's able to pay...

and also for the bothers not to be stingy. i mean that in the sense where some brothers-even though they are able to pay it- act as if they have no money, etc and don't pay it as it were originally stipulated... :rolleyes:

[noorseeker]

I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700

Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.

[Silver Pearl]

:wasalamex

realistically a mahr should be as much as you can afford.

it would be sad if in say, america or london a brother cant scrounge up at least 3-5 thousand pounds for his wifes protection and benefit.

Well said!



Most of the brothers want their wife not to work, where is she going to get the money to use for herself?


Moral of the story: Sisters get a halaal job, brothers are either broke, stingy or just plain iffy, that will sort everything out:p.

[crayon]

Hmm, I actually have no idea, never thought about it much before.

I think some new camera equipment would be nice...:D
And perhaps an amazing honeymoon full of lots of traveling.
Gold? Meh, I'm not a fan of gold.. Some sort of ring though, platinum or silver maybe, so that something (besides the actual husband, lol) remains after the honeymoon is over and the camera stuff gets old.

I once heard of a woman, who the only thing she asked from her future husband as a dowry, was his memorization of the Quran. I thought that was so beautiful subhanallah, inshallah I will ask any future husband of mine for that. Imagine all the hasanat! It's like a dowry that's saved for you until the day of judgement, when you most need it.:thumbs_up

[Danah]

:sl: It's sad I've seen people spending almost 100k on a wedding night and the next day they can't even afford to pay their bills. What's the point? I really don't understand.

I heard of a man got married and made his wedding a legendary one, very very expensive part, and after that going in a honeymoon....according to the wife request, but what was the result?

all the money he got was from bank and he got his first child after 1 and a half year of his marriage while he still pay back for his debt to bank. The child needed money as well for his care a well as the wife. problems start raised between the couples because of the money and the husband blamed the wife for her hard requests before the marriage........finally they ended up getting divorced

I think some new camera equipment would be nice...:D

lol, I think for me a professional computer with its accessories and full peripherals is better than gold :hmm:...gold is an old fashioned lol

[Ummu Sufyaan]

I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700

i thought dowy is the trans. of mahr. no?

[Re.TiReD]

I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700

Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.

Is it....lol

[Faseeha]

:sl:

I never really thought of it. Alot of people here give jewellery or a Kruger coin (not sure exactly how much that's worth)

I would request according to his wealth.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

Interesting replies. Please keep them coming. I'm taking notes.

a kiss & a happy life, atm, I'm broke :) working on it though.
but usually people where I come from ask for something like $20k-$25k. atleast..well not atleast, but it's not uncommon. it really depends whether the two families are marrying or only the bride and groom, get my drift..
bro Abu Sayyad, don't worry, it's all worth it:), when's the happy news?

Not yet....:hmm: Make Dua' for me though :happy:

[S_87]

the equivalent in money to what the mahr of Fatima radhiallahu anha was.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

id ask for the equivalent in money to what the mahr of Fatima radhiallahu anha was.

which was?

i do know that Ali radhiallahu anhu sold armor to get money and donate that as mahr?


right?



btw the mahr might be cheap, doesnt mean the wedding will be...

[S_87]

which was?

i do know that Ali radhiallahu anhu sold armor to get money and donate that as mahr?


right?



...

i dont know the exact amount to that as it changes but around £300 im guessing

[Re.TiReD]

I asked DB for a kitty :-[

If I was forced to ask for something, I'd ask for the sunnah amount....is it like £200 or something? Other than that, whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours dude, and thats all there is to it for me.


WassalamuAlaykum

the equivalent in money to what the mahr of Fatima radhiallahu anha was.

^ :salamext:

I think its around £200-£300.....somebody told me it was £233 or summin? Wallahu A'lam. I think they call it mahr fatimi. Well this was Ummah forum so....lol

Ooops Assalatu KhayrumMinan Nawm....best dash insha'Allah

WassalamuAlaykum

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.

thats abit of a worry. :hmm: and a little deceitful :rollseyes

MashaAllaah, if the majority of sisters hold the same outlook, then maybe the brothers dont have to spend the first couple of years just paying off the Mahr!!

but then, i really don't get why you brothers put yourselves through all these unnecessary conditions. why don't you just go find yourselves a simple family :? okay, im know they're hard to find, but seriously, surely they still exist...seriously, i just don't get it...
the way i look at it: if he/she dont like you the way you are, then just go find someone else, no?

[S_87]

^ :salamext:

I think its around £200-£300.....somebody told me it was £233 or summin? Wallahu A'lam. I think they call it mahr fatimi. Well this was Ummah forum so....lol

Ooops Assalatu KhayrumMinan Nawm....best dash insha'Allah

WassalamuAlaykum

yeh the exact amount changes all the time with silver prices changing or something :?

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

:salamext:

A reasonable mahr is simply one that is reasonably affordable for the groom, i.e. one that will not burden him, or put him in to debt.

I remember reading the book of marriage, particularly the chapter on mahr, in al-Mulakhkhas al-fiqhi, by shaykh Fawzaan helped me a lot when I had to make such a decision. I remember this quote by Ibn Taymiyyah in that chapter:


"If the dowry given is much, it is not deemed detestable as long as the groom is able to afford it, unless the large amount is offered for detestable purposes, such as boastfulness, showing off, and the like. However, if the groom is unable to afford such a large dowry, it is detestable for him to present it.

[...]

If the amount of dowry is much and it is deferred to be paid later, it should be deemed detestable also due to the difficulty caused to the groom by the burden."


An interesting point that the shaykh expalined, was that whatever the girl's father/guardian requests from the groom, such as clothes or jewellery, this counts as the mahr. So yes sisters, be reasonable in this matter too. I know in the Somali culture, the groom has to present the wife with suitcases full of duroo3 (a type of dress, typically worn by Somali women), which are normally bought from the Emirates nowadays, and loads of gold, as well as the mahr. Obviously, that puts a lot of strain and burden on young brothers who are struggling to get married.

Shaykh 'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) stated:

"Extravagance in dowry payments and wedding celebrations are all in conflict with the Islamic Law, because the most blessed marriage is the least expensive one; and the more the expenses are decreased, the more the blessing are increased."

- Fatawa Islamiyah - ;The book of Marriage; Volume 5, pg.300


And as for all those sisters who are whining about making hijrah, or going abroad to study the deen. If you're really sincere, then you won't place your husband in to endless debt, for this dunya, or status etc. I say status, because a lot of the time it's all social status, and israaf. Really, do you think any amount of money can cover what you're worth? The mahr is a gift, not a price tag.

I'll just end with the speech of our Messenger (salAllaahu 'alayhi wa 'ala aalihi wa sallam) on this matter:

Uqbar bin Amir (radiyAllaahu 'anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "The best dower is the easiest one." {Related by Aboo Dawood. Al Haakim graded it as saheeh}

[Pk_#2]

Uqbar bin Amir (radiyAllaahu 'anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "The best dower is the easiest one." {Related by Aboo Dawood. Al Haakim graded it as saheeh}

MashaAllaah ^

I'm sorry Faizah imsad

[Zahida]

:sl: Hmmmmmmmm Mahr?? The normal is about £200 i think but i am happy to please ,i wouldn't want that either just a promise that my hubby to :statisfie keep me happy and safe at all times and love me with all my faults and all........................:statisfie:w:

[crayon]

:salamext:

A reasonable mahr is simply one that is reasonably affordable for the groom, i.e. one that will not burden him, or put him in to debt.

I remember reading the book of marriage, particularly the chapter on mahr, in al-Mulakhkhas al-fiqhi, by shaykh Fawzaan helped me a lot when I had to make such a decision. I remember this quote by Ibn Taymiyyah in that chapter:


"If the dowry given is much, it is not deemed detestable as long as the groom is able to afford it, unless the large amount is offered for detestable purposes, such as boastfulness, showing off, and the like. However, if the groom is unable to afford such a large dowry, it is detestable for him to present it.

[...]

If the amount of dowry is much and it is deferred to be paid later, it should be deemed detestable also due to the difficulty caused to the groom by the burden."


An interesting point that the shaykh expalined, was that whatever the girl's father/guardian requests from the groom, such as clothes or jewellery, this counts as the mahr. So yes sisters, be reasonable in this matter too. I know in the Somali culture, the groom has to present the wife with suitcases full of duroo3 (a type of dress, typically worn by Somali women), which are normally bought from the Emirates nowadays, and loads of gold, as well as the mahr. Obviously, that puts a lot of strain and burden on young brothers who are struggling to get married.

Shaykh 'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) stated:

"Extravagance in dowry payments and wedding celebrations are all in conflict with the Islamic Law, because the most blessed marriage is the least expensive one; and the more the expenses are decreased, the more the blessing are increased."

- Fatawa Islamiyah - ;The book of Marriage; Volume 5, pg.300


And as for all those sisters who are whining about making hijrah, or going abroad to study the deen. If you're really sincere, then you won't place your husband in to endless debt, for this dunya, or status etc. I say status, because a lot of the time it's all social status, and israaf. Really, do you think any amount of money can cover what you're worth? The mahr is a gift, not a price tag.

I'll just end with the speech of our Messenger (salAllaahu 'alayhi wa 'ala aalihi wa sallam) on this matter:

Uqbar bin Amir (radiyAllaahu 'anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "The best dower is the easiest one." {Related by Aboo Dawood. Al Haakim graded it as saheeh}

Great post sis, jazaki Allah khair.:thumbs_up

[Intisar]

I heard of a man got married and made his wedding a legendary one, very very expensive part, and after that going in a honeymoon....according to the wife request, but what was the result?

all the money he got was from bank and he got his first child after 1 and a half year of his marriage while he still pay back for his debt to bank. The child needed money as well for his care a well as the wife. problems start raised between the couples because of the money and the husband blamed the wife for her hard requests before the marriage........finally they ended up getting divorced

:sl: Sadly that is not surprising to read, lot's of couples go into debt because they decided to go ''all out'' on their wedding day, spending over $50, 000.00 on one night that most people will forget by the next day. :rolleyes: SubhanAllaah and so many of them are mixed, where's the barakah in that?

Sisters have to be more mindful of what a brother can afford, especially if both of you are young and aren't exactly well off.

:salamext:

An interesting point that the shaykh expalined, was that whatever the girl's father/guardian requests from the groom, such as clothes or jewellery, this counts as the mahr. So yes sisters, be reasonable in this matter too. I know in the Somali culture, the groom has to present the wife with suitcases full of duroo3 (a type of dress, typically worn by Somali women), which are normally bought from the Emirates nowadays, and loads of gold, as well as the mahr. Obviously, that puts a lot of strain and burden on young brothers who are struggling to get married.

:wasalamex JazakAllaah khair macaanto, I especially agree with this point a lot. SubhanAllaah the amount of durooc that Somali women have is just shameful sometimes. :embarrass Especially with it not being Islamically ''appropriate'' unless worn with a garbasar (most women don't do this). The colours aren't pretty either, and it doesn't come cheap. I only own one pair and I'd never ask for one diraac let alone a suitcase full of them...akhaas!

Really though, sisters need to be reasonable especially about a prospective brother's situation, don't put a load on him that he doesn't need.

It is hard for a sister to think of what she'd want as a mahr, but the whole end result is a union between two people that plan on spending not only this life but the next life (Jannah inshaa'Allaah) together.

So inshaa'Allaah just make du'a and think of something that will not put stress on the brother, nor a burden.

[Banu_Hashim]

I kinda always was confused about mahr... I mean why do sisters ask for so much or bros make a big deal about it, if at the end of the day... You're gonna be having the same money together anyway.:confused:

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:wasalamex

:salamext:

An interesting point that the shaykh expalined, was that whatever the girl's father/guardian requests from the groom, such as clothes or jewellery, this counts as the mahr. So yes sisters, be reasonable in this matter too.

great post! but what if the father/guardian requests something that
a)the girl doesn't want and
b) the potential cant afford?

what do you do then? and also, what if the father/guardian asks for a huge amount, etc but the girl doesn't agree. does she have a right to go against him in this respect?

[crayon]

From Faizah's post
"Really, do you think any amount of money can cover what you're worth? The mahr is a gift, not a price tag."

I think that plays a big part in the whole matter, really, it's probably the most important thing.
The parents and (sometimes) the girl feel if they ask for a small mahr, it means that the girl is worth a small amount. Usually for example, the "prettier" the girl is, the more "educated" she is, the higher social status she has, etc. the more mahr she gets offered. So when a girl considers having a smaller mahr, a lot of the time it's like saying "i'm not as pretty/smart/etc. as that other girl who got more than me". And her parents think the same way. That's also a reason why some girls ask for huge mahrs.

So yeah, the correct way to look at the mahr is a gift, not a price tag, liks sis Faizah said.:)

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

:wasalamex


great post! but what if the father/guardian requests something that
a)the girl doesn't want and
b) the potential cant afford?

what do you do then? and also, what if the father/guardian asks for a huge amount, etc but the girl doesn't agree. does she have a right to go against him in this respect?

Well, I faced a similar dilemma. Although my husband didn't say anything, I knew it would put him in debt. So I just spoke to my father about it, and told him I didn't want those things, and explained to him what I read shaykh Fawzaan's book. I had to put my foot down, but al-Hamdulillaah my father was very understanding and cooperative, especially after I explained it through the Islaamic perspective.

[Ar-RaYYan]

I kinda always was confused about mahr... I mean why do sisters ask for so much or bros make a big deal about it, if at the end of the day... You're gonna be having the same money together anyway.:confused:

who said sisters have to share the mahr money with their husbands? :rollseyes its gift so basically its hers only but its up to her whether she wants to share
Dont know why people make big deal about the mahr either :exhausted its just a gift but most people i know see it as price tag :X

[Musaafirah]

I've seen in the Bengali culture anyway, it's the parents that do the demanding. The sister probs too shy to say a thing. The parents don't get the money anyway, so I don't understand...
Anyways, in some weddings, it absolutely ridiculous, they announce the mahr of what the dudes giving the girl, something along the lines of £10,000. And if they've bought the gold for the bride, then they'll state that the cost's taken from the mahr.
Yes, some women are stupidly demanding, but I've seen that the cost of the wedding itself is ridiculous (In the region of £35,000!!!!) so why put the extra strain on.
Seriously it's so sad to see the state of weddings now. Then it feels like there's some sort of pressure to live up to how much someone else has spent. Meh.
Insha'allah, am hoping mine'll be a simple one. Who knows.

[Musaafirah]

You seem scared. Usually, that cost is just incurred on the brides side, for the hire of hall, catering, decoration, limo etc. Allah knows what the dude pays, as they pay for wedding dress, walima dress, mehndi dress, limo, hall hire etc for walimah. I feel sorry for 'em.

[S_87]

Seriously though, what could they possibly do on that day that would cost up to £35,000?

"the hire of hall, catering, decoration, limo" couldn't be worth that much, surely? :><:

those asian wedding dresses cost around £2000 alone...

[Musaafirah]

I dunno, some halls cost £10,000 then you gotta think of insurance and security. All depends on location etc. Seriously, weddings have become too extravagent here and if someone chooses to have a simple one, they're regarded as cheap.
Some people are tooooo materialistic for their own good.

[Musaafirah]

It's ridiculous all the same and is a reflection of the whole spend more than you earn society.

[Banu_Hashim]

What the....!? :skeleton:

I know this day can be special for some people and everything but it's just one day! (ok... you have the Walima as well but still... £30, 000??) Most likely people won't dwell on it for too long...

[transition?]

:sl:

It depends... if he's intelligent.
If he is, I already have exactly what I want, someone I can learn things from! priceless!

on a side note:
There used to be this one physics teacher (well she's still at my highschool) lol she told us she and her husband do physics problems together.

if he's not too intelligent, no biggy....
a bookstore giftcard :Evil:
we can learn together.

My old Arabic teacher, he told us his wife asked for him to buy wedding dress.


I know my dad was poorer than my mom a bit, I wonder what he got her. I should ask.

[Banu_Hashim]

on a side note:
There used to be this one physics teacher (well she's still at my highschool) lol she told us she and her husband do physics problems together.

:uuh: Oh Dear... if only there was a "nerd" smiley.

[transition?]

What the....!? :skeleton:

I know this day can be special for some people and everything but it's just one day! (ok... you have the Walima as well but still... £30, 000??) Most likely people won't dwell on it for too long...

:sl:

Weddings are so crazy blingish nowadays.
I always excuse people from having big extravagant weddings, thinking "Oh, they have MashAllah a big family and lots of cousins." The materialism is disgusting +o(. I wonder how people live with such extravagant wives. No. actually. How do people even get engaged and choose such spouses? There is an overwhelmingly unnecessary concern about financial stability.

[transition?]

:uuh: Oh Dear... if only there was a "nerd" smiley.

:sl:

it's lovely! It could be worst, they could be partners in crime instead of physics.
:ooh: It's amazing finding someone who you love and loves doing something you love too.

[Banu_Hashim]

:sl:

it's lovely! It could be worst, they could be partners in crime instead of physics.
:ooh: It's amazing finding someone who you love and loves doing something you love too.

I supooose... I just don't like physics :p

[nocturne]

those asian wedding dresses cost around £2000 alone...

Are you serious?? That is just crazy.

The cost for wedding have escalated, we are expected by society to waste money. and our Parents quite often fall into the pressure.

Inshallah, i hope to do a simple wedding but its going to be hard. Even if my parents agree, then i have to get my in-laws to agree and then possibly the bride (who might have had dreams of lavish wedding)

[crayon]

Yes, some women are stupidly demanding, but I've seen that the cost of the wedding itself is ridiculous (In the region of £35,000!!!!) so why put the extra strain on.
Seriously it's so sad to see the state of weddings now. Then it feels like there's some sort of pressure to live up to how much someone else has spent. Meh.
Insha'allah, am hoping mine'll be a simple one. Who knows.

I completely agree..
And something that really ticks me off- after spending all that money and making all those preparations, the bride doesn't even get to enjoy it properly!!
Personally, I hatee most arab weddings. The bride runs around like a mad woman all morning, getting ready. She arrives at like midnight, dances a little to lame haram music, sits on a chair by herself, takes loads of pictures and ends up having her face ache by the end of them. Half the people she doesn't know, since the acquaintance she invited ends up bringing her mom's friends cousin's neighbor, or something. She can't eat because everyone is just staring at her. She can't properly enjoy her own wedding, it sucks.
Ever since helping my cousin with her wedding last year, and seeing it all come together from start to finish, I have promised myself that I will never put myself through that. I mean, what's wrong with have a nice dinner party with close family and friends? Some nasheeds, nice conversation, good food. And that's it. Simple, fun, inexpensive, and at the end of it all, you're married. Why do people enjoy complicating everything?

[Snowflake]

In my first marriage my mahr (as recommended by imaam) was thirty two pounds and something pence. I had no idea I can ask for any amount. In my second marriage my husband was broke so I happily waived my rights to mahr. He still conned me out of thousands later so I gave him a very nice gift of not applying for his visa, leaving him in the country when he went back to visit his daughter, temporarily hooked back up with his ex wife (all with my money) and getting a divorce. *breathes sigh of relief*

Now, someone who's been in my position is probably going to suggest mahr from 1k min to 5k max (depending on his ability). Still, I said 'probably'. Ahh.. I'm too soft! :hmm:

[sevgi]

:sl:

If I could, I would ask for nothing at all. But for formality's sake, I'd probably ask for a pretty piece of gold jewelery. That way, my husband can benefit from observing it's prettiness and the happiness it gives me. If I ever need it, I can get it exchanged for money...it won't lose it's value.

If I break it, he can buy me a new one.

*breaksonpurpose* :ooh:

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

In my first marriage my mahr (as recommended by imaam) was thirty two pounds and something pence. I had no idea I can ask for any amount. In my second marriage my husband was broke so I happily waived my rights to mahr. He still conned me out of thousands later so I gave him a very nice gift of not applying for his visa, leaving him in the country when he went back to visit his daughter, temporarily hooked back up with his ex wife (all with my money) and getting a divorce. *breathes sigh of relief*

Now, someone who's been in my position is probably going to suggest mahr from 1k min to 5k max (depending on his ability). Still, I said 'probably'. Ahh.. I'm too soft! :hmm:

thats some misfortune right there :uuh:.

may Allah protect us from two faced people, Ameen

[Snowflake]

ameen

but in hindsight, it was a blessing and alhumdulillah now im free of him : )

[Najm]

I've seen in the Bengali culture anyway, it's the parents that do the demanding. The sister probs too shy to say a thing. The parents don't get the money anyway, so I don't understand...
Anyways, in some weddings, it absolutely ridiculous, they announce the mahr of what the dudes giving the girl, something along the lines of £10,000. And if they've bought the gold for the bride, then they'll state that the cost's taken from the mahr.
Yes, some women are stupidly demanding, but I've seen that the cost of the wedding itself is ridiculous (In the region of £35,000!!!!) so why put the extra strain on.
Seriously it's so sad to see the state of weddings now. Then it feels like there's some sort of pressure to live up to how much someone else has spent. Meh.
Insha'allah, am hoping mine'll be a simple one. Who knows.

You seem scared. Usually, that cost is just incurred on the brides side, for the hire of hall, catering, decoration, limo etc. Allah knows what the dude pays, as they pay for wedding dress, walima dress, mehndi dress, limo, hall hire etc for walimah. I feel sorry for 'em.

I dunno, some halls cost £10,000 then you gotta think of insurance and security. All depends on location etc. Seriously, weddings have become too extravagent here and if someone chooses to have a simple one, they're regarded as cheap.
Some people are tooooo materialistic for their own good.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Great Posts uhkti, im just going to expand you your posts. I dont know how much a normal wedding is suppose to cost though. Although from experience i would say 20-35K. Maybe someone can tell me.

From your post, i must say your soo right about the bengali culture, parents are too demanding, and sisters are not allowed to speak up. The extravagant weddings lead to downfall for the spouses from the start. It leads to many difficulties from the start of the marriage, unless the brothers side are loaded!

Marriage can be the most simplest thing ever, but the culture makes it almost impossible to get married nowadays. Furthermore Brother and Sisters are now going back "home" to get married, just to keep the expenses down and be saved from the hassle, as well as to have a "better choice" due to a "bigger pool" <<< even though the spouses are more likely to have completely different levels of understanding.

Materialism is sooo high at the momment, its all about flashy cars, huge halls, big wedding gates etc. The culture only allows it to be expensive "so couples can be blessed", even though Islam says the opposite. Also if the wedding is nice and simple, people say its simply cheap, and families rep is going down hill. Whats really strange is 70-80% of the people just come to have food, and then dissappear!!

I would understand if the brothers loaded and his being stingy, but if he hasnt got much, then he's still called stingy. Your just pressured, to pull out the money.

The families only think about what the "people" would think, what the "people" would say, if they had simple wedding etc. They never consider what the spouses want, its all about the "people"!!! The families dont want their "pride" to get hit.

Big Sidenote for the sisters. They dream of this day, her wedding day, to be so romantic and special. She wants to enjoy every moment, and remember it all her life. But what happens? From night onwards to cant sleep. She has to wake up early(if she sleeps) to put her wedding dress and hairstyle by pros etc. Takes about 4 hours. She gets rushed into doing everything. At her own wedding she cant chill and talk, just sit in one place like a doll, while everyone stares at her. She cant enjoy her own wedding, she cant even eat properly! After the wedding part is complete( which takes the whole), she goes to the spouses house for round two of sitting down like a doll. SubhaanAllah the stress that she goes through, at she own wedding.

Simply the sister is left really stressed and annoyed, and the brother left with an overdraft for the next decade. Welcome to married life imsad

Weddings in the bengali culture is a real problem, even though Islam provides protection against the fitah of adultery etc, by getting married, the culture just puts severe strain on something that is supposesed to be soo simple and beautiful. SubhaanAllah

Sorry for the long essay:-[ Maybe this post should be another thread :-[

Time to follow Islam, and leave everything else behind. Please feel free to correct me.:-[

FiAmaaniAllah

[Musaafirah]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu



Big Sidenote for the sisters. They dream of this day, her wedding day, to be so romantic and special. She wants to enjoy every moment, and remember it all her life. But what happens? From night onwards to cant sleep. She has to wake up early(if she sleeps) to put her wedding dress and hairstyle by pros etc. Takes about 4 hours. She gets rushed into doing everything. At her own wedding she cant chill and talk, just sit in one place like a doll, while everyone stares at her. She cant enjoy her own wedding, she cant even eat properly! After the wedding part is complete( which takes the whole), she goes to the spouses house for round two of sitting down like a doll. SubhaanAllah the stress that she goes through, at she own wedding.

Simply the sister is left really stressed and annoyed, and the brother left with an overdraft for the next decade. Welcome to married life imsad

Weddings in the bengali culture is a real problem, even though Islam provides protection against the fitah of adultery etc, by getting married, the culture just puts severe strain on something that is supposesed to be soo simple and beautiful. SubhaanAllah

Sorry for the long essay:-[ Maybe this post should be another thread :-[

Time to follow Islam, and leave everything else behind. Please feel free to correct me.:-[

FiAmaaniAllah

You know yesterday, I went to my aunts wedding, and masha'allah she was smiling and talking and everything, I felt soooo happy for her, and the imam didn't go announcing the mahr to everyone present. She had a nice simple wedding (still bling, but not too much) and these other weddings i've been to, the brides have been all quiet, with everyone staring at 'em.
Raah. Sometimes, however, the parents are all for a simple wedding, but other relatives step in. :mad: (that emoticon seems too serious, but you get the gist..)
And yeah, sometimes however, the parents ruin the married life for their daughter and son-in-law, right from the beginning, interfering in everything.
I think we need to educate out elders. Seriously...
Oh yah, I don't think all sisters dream of a lavish wedding. Most likely they wish to have spouses that are pious and fear Allah in all that they do, and are nice, and maybe even a sense of humour. Who knows?
(Are we going off topic?...)

[Snowflake]

Ive just realised... in the pakistani culture the mahr is given to a woman only if her husband divorces her. That is why women ask for high amount of mahr as, 1) a way of preventing husband from divorcing her 2) if he does divorce her he has to pay out!

Has anyone else seen this happen?

[Banu_Hashim]

Ive just realised... in the pakistani culture the mahr is given to a woman only if her husband divorces her. That is why women ask for high amount of mahr as, 1) a way of preventing husband from divorcing her 2) if he does divorce her he has to pay out!

Has anyone else seen this happen?

;D The first point is quite funny. Haven't heard of this myself.

[Faseeha]

Oh yah, I don't think all sisters dream of a lavish wedding. Most likely they wish to have spouses that are pious and fear Allah in all that they do, and are nice, and maybe even a sense of humour. Who knows?
(Are we going off topic?...)

That's so very true.

There are still a lot of girls out there who aren't lost in materialism, and whose parents wouldn't want to inconvenience their future son-in-laws.

[syilla]

:salamext:

Mahr in Malaysia has been stated how much and its different for every state.

You should come and get marrried in M'sia its cost only RM100 the maximum. But in Perlis you can put any amount you want. Mahr we called it "Mas Kawen"

The only thing is that in Malay there is a culture of giving gifts we called in 'hantaran'. Which include clothes, rings, shoes, handbag... but the good thing is not just the guy has to give the girl...but the girl too has to give gifts to the guys.

And there are also gifts in a form of money...which we called in 'wang hantaran'. In culture this is compulsory...except in Kelantan there is no 'wang hantaran' only 'mas kawen'. This also depends on how much the family from the girl side requested.

But i shared 'wang hantaran' with my hubby ... :X oops it should be a secret.

However, some guys they really respect the girl that they are going to get married with and can afford it and that is why they don't mind paying alot.

So...it is really up to the individuals :)

[Amat Allah]

to me I don`t care ...I just want my other half to fear Allah and to respect me I don`t care about anything else ....I have him and thats enough for me ...

may Allah grant u all ur other half Ameeeeeeeeeeen

[The Palestinian]

It depends on both of them. The mahr is shouldnt be the "price" of the girl like in some countries, her behavious,mind,...etc
Money comes ang goes, so it's useless to have alot while your life is hell. Logic is needed here as always, don't make marriage so difficult for men. Alot of girls is not married, we should make getting married easy for them to build our communities and save our youth.

[Amat Allah]

It depends on both of them. The mahr is shouldnt be the "price" of the girl like in some countries, her behavious,mind,...etc
Money comes ang goes, so it's useless to have alot while your life is hell. Logic is needed here as always, don't make marriage so difficult for men. Alot of girls is not married, we should make getting married easy for them to build our communities and save our youth.

soo true :thumbs_up

[Banu_Hashim]

It depends on both of them. The mahr is shouldnt be the "price" of the girl like in some countries, her behavious,mind,...etc
Money comes ang goes, so it's useless to have alot while your life is hell. Logic is needed here as always, don't make marriage so difficult for men. Alot of girls is not married, we should make getting married easy for them to build our communities and save our youth.

Quoted for the truth.

[islamlover_girl]

I think the most important thing is his religon and manneres.

Even if he can`t pay mahr like that of the girls in my country and level.

money comes and goes and the real wealth is a good muslim husband.

[Revert to Peace]

Assalamu alaikum wr wb

Such a great thread... and as a marriage proposal is in the offing, insha'Allah. I started to think about this.

So, here's my input:-

As I would be expected to leave UK and live in Dubai, insha'Allah...

regular plane tickets to come back to visit my father
to have my belongings shipped out to me (including furniture!)
to practice our deen together
to be taught spoken arabic - no english if possible!
2 cats

Insha'Allah the above is not unreasonable.

Please make du'a for me that the marriage will happen...

JazakAllah wa fi aman Allah

Assalamu alaikum

[Banu_Hashim]

^InshAllah.

[Muhajabah]

Salaam aleikum

Did not read the whole thread, but what about Hajj for a mahr?

[Banu_Hashim]

I've heard that this is what a lot of the Indonesian couples do - as soon as they get married go for hajj. Whether or not it's for Mahr I don't know. But this would be the perfect Mahr I would have thought.

[AbuSalahudeen]

Alhamdulilah Somali Practising Sisters and families don't ask for nothing like what has been mentioned above, the average would be £1500 and £3000 is usually the Max. But personally I wouldnt pay more than £2000, because in Somali culture the man pays for all the wedding costs, and in Somali culture the new couple move into there own place and not in to the brothers families house like Indo/Pak culture so you have to include furniture costs which isn't cheap.

.....Yes I've planned it all and done my Maths......imsad lol :exhausted

[Intisar]

Alhamdulilah Somali Practising Sisters and families don't ask for nothing like what has been mentioned above, the average would be £1500 and £3000 is usually the Max. But personally I wouldnt pay more than £2000, because in Somali culture the man pays for all the wedding costs, and in Somali culture the new couple move into there own place and not in to the brothers families house like Indo/Pak culture so you have to include furniture costs which isn't cheap.

.....Yes I've planned it all and done my Maths......imsad lol :exhausted

Yeah, xalwad doesn't cost much either lol...and that's the main delicacy at any aroos. Ilahay ha ku gargaro inshaAllaah.

[convert]

I kinda got into this but have never been married so take this for what its worth. I think more than a month's salary is being unfair to a brother.

Also, I don't think it is permissible to offer hajj as a mahr as that is obligatory anyway. There were talks about offering umrah as a mahr though.

[crayon]

Also, I don't think it is permissible to offer hajj as a mahr as that is obligatory anyway. There were talks about offering umrah as a mahr though.

Actually, about hajj, I've heard that it is the father that is obliged to take his daughter to hajj, not the husband. This is because the woman reaches puberty while under his care. Also, I'm pretty sure even a husband is not obliged to take his wife on hajj- if she has her own money she uses it, if not, she is unable to perform hajj, and will not be held accountable for it. However of course, if a man does pay for his wife making hajj, then it is all considered sadaqah on his part.

I've heard this and read this in other places, but inshaAllah I'll look for an online source about it.

[Ar-RaYYan]

I've heard that this is what a lot of the Indonesian couples do - as soon as they get married go for hajj. Whether or not it's for Mahr I don't know. But this would be the perfect Mahr I would have thought.

wow mashallah what a perfect Mahr!

[AbuSalahudeen]

Yeah, xalwad doesn't cost much either lol...and that's the main delicacy at any aroos. Ilahay ha ku gargaro inshaAllaah.

O yes we can't forget the Halimad mashalllah lol.

Ameen Ameen lol

O yeah did I mention the Gold set, Somali Women love Gold :exhausted Mashallah.

Bani Hashim: Mashallah I think going to Hajj together as Mahr is perfect mashallah.

[Ar-RaYYan]

O yes we can't forget the Halimad mashalllah lol.

Ameen Ameen lol

O yeah did I mention the Gold set, Somali Women love Gold :exhausted Mashallah.
Bani Hashim: Mashallah I think going to Hajj together as Mahr is perfect mashallah.

u joking?+o(
okay im exaggerating a bit i dont hate gold that much but its the last thing i want as a wedding gift! I know a lot of girls that share the same view as me! Go on ask your sisters (if you've any)

[AbuSalahudeen]

u joking?+o(
okay im exaggerating a bit i dont hate gold that much but its the last thing i want as a wedding gift! I know a lot of girls that share the same view as me! Go on ask your sisters (if you've any)

Yes its sad, the sisters of the 21century prefers rare diamonds, coated with even rarer diamonds. :exhausted

[idk]

I would want a private jet and a porsche carrerra GT covered with the rareest type of diamonds spelling out my name (=

Joking, pious sisters will normally ask for a little more than the minimum amount of money, eternal love and strong deen.

Aww :D

[nebula]

If i dnt have much money for a Mahr then id say this to my wife:

Hey listen wifee i don't have much money but i promise you ill spend most of my time with you and not with the hoor al ayn if we get to Jannah :P

[idk]

If i dnt have much money for a Mahr then id say this to my wife:

Hey listen wifee i don't have much money but i promise you ill spend most of my time with you and not with the hoor al ayn if we get to Jannah :P

Ahaha, that will get you nowhere bro.
Come on, some of us might be religious, but were not angels - sadly youre gonna have to cough up some pennies. You aint gonna get away with being dirt cheap lol.

[nebula]

Ill sell my ps3 and a few games, maybe ill have about £500 should do the job :thumbs_up

[Cabdullahi]

10 pound and a copper ring thats all!

[AbuSalahudeen]

10 pound and a copper ring thats all!

Why Copper when you can make it yourself, i'll make her my own set of jewellery from playdow and my lego playset, that way you can show your love and your skills (DIY).

[idk]

Why Copper when you can make it yourself, i'll make her my own set of jewellery from playdow and my lego playset, that way you can show your love and your skills (DIY).

You can also show off your new bruises after shes done with you.
Bro, dont do it, you will be black and blue, and a few other colours too if shes a tough one lol.

[nebula]

ill put myself as the mahr... :X either way your stuck with me muhahah

[AbuSalahudeen]

You can also show off your new bruises after shes done with you.
Bro, dont do it, you will be black and blue, and a few other colours too if shes a tough one lol.

I can take her to court for domestic abuse and call it a attempt to honour kill me.

[Ar-RaYYan]

Yes its sad, the sisters of the 21century prefers rare diamonds, coated with even rarer diamonds. :exhausted

yeah! whats wrong with that! Your wife would appreciate you much more :p

on a serious note i was just saying that not all somali sisters want gold as a wedding gift and i wasnt even thinking about diamonds at the time! Just because a sister dont want a gold it doesnt mean she wants something that cost more rather something she can always value and appreciate.

You can also show off your new bruises after shes done with you.

ditto :thumbs_up just what i was thinking!

[AbuSalahudeen]

yeah! whats wrong with that! Your wife would appreciate you much more :p

on a serious note i was just saying that not all somali sisters want gold as a wedding gift and i wasnt even thinking about diamonds at the time! Just because a sister dont want a gold it doesnt mean she wants something that cost more rather something she can always value and appreciate.


ditto :thumbs_up just what i was thinking!

Yes mashallah are sister are going to make it easy for us and them, I was just kidding with you guys.

[Cabdullahi]

''You can also show off your new bruises after shes done with you.''




ditto :thumbs_up just what i was thinking!

So now..... it seems that we'll get life threatening bruises for offering something we can afford :(......

Guys i think we just have to get diamonds,pearls and a stash of 250...20 pound notes

[idk]

WELL DONE !
BROWNIE POINT FOR ABDULLAHI Y'ALL!

Hes finally gotten it :)


Jokes.

Tbh I would ask for whatever I needed at the time. And maybe a little more. Come on, its your wedding day, indulge a little.

But I wudnt rip the poor guy off lool otherwise he might turn up to the wedding in a potato sack instead of a tux...and we wudnt want that.

[NIKKY]

u knw wat id ask 4..? dnt laugh plz...a tree...! seriously...we'd both plant it 2geda n watch it grow as we both grow old 2geda...! dat sounds cheezy ryt...?!

[idk]

u knw wat id ask 4..? dnt laugh plz...a tree...! seriously...we'd both plant it 2geda n watch it grow as we both grow old 2geda...! dat sounds cheezy ryt...?!

Terribly so, lol.


Jokes babe, sounds kinda cute...:D

BUT

I doubt you would ask for a tree.

Youre jus saying that...right? ...right?

lool.

:X

[NIKKY]

^^ am dead serious...! am nt in2 bling n dat...bin der dun dat..! as 4 money...it cums n goes...i wnt sumat dat will b der 4eva.....

[Sahabiyaat]

tree ideas sweet, id do that anyway, but that wouldnt be the mahr i'd ask for.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


lemme think......i'd ask for a nice necklace, not something that would break the bank, but nice. and id wear it every single day to show him how much i love and appreciate him.

[aadil77]

lol just read this at ummah forums :D

when reffering to arab marriages a member said:

its really hard i mean my friend is ahle bayt and they asked him $250,000 and he was just shocked he didnt know what to say and he said he only had 1/10 of the total and they were like get off our porch and take your slave with you ( referring to me) .You get weird things in Saudi but it is a blessed place.

[transition?]

:sl:

The tree idea is super cute! :D
I might ask for a vegetable garden, but I don't have much of a green thumb.

I've thought a lot for this question. Lol, sadly, when I think of things that make me happy that aren't family, friends or Islam, there's like nothing lol other than chocolate cake and flowers O_o.

Then it hit me! I want a kitten!
or a treadmill.

[transition?]

lol just read this at ummah forums :D

when reffering to arab marriages a member said:

lol.

[NIKKY]

i actualy thought evri 1 wud av laughd at ma tree idea....!

[Ar-RaYYan]

^ no way i think that is sweet idea!
at first it might take him time to get use it (you know how men pretend they are all macho and might find it too cheesy) but inshallah he will get use to it!

[witness]

after a loooong think and looking past the material glitz,

What would be ideal mehr...if i had thought about it before, is
....'a look'

one of those deep meaningful looks, where every pain would be compassionately understood without words...it would be priceless and perhaps rare because it would have to be genuine...( i don't mean the trained counsellor type ones which maybe be considered whilst the genuine one was being worked on)

This 'look' can be paid in installments throughout the marriage upon demand whenever (is this asking for too much?) the wife required..even in the middle of an argument the husband was about to win. :D

im sure it could solve the whole 'men not understanding women' issues...and a wife will never have to complain.

[جوري]

10 , 20 THOUSAND? :ooh:



and what tha heck is she gonna do with it ? :skeleton:

spend it on the bloody wedding that is where it goes when the dress alone costs a good $6000

Now that being said, it is my personal opinion that weddings are unnecessary I wonder if it is true that all girls dream of that day? I am a girl and I have never dreamt of that day (so I do suppose it is all relative) unless I am the only one :skeleton: ? -- I am too senile to remember whether or not I answered this thread before too but to sum it up in a few words I think a reasonable mahr depends highly on the bride...it could be a symbolic amount or it could be very high, I don't know .. I wouldn't want mahr personally, I'd rather get the keys to a brand new

and with that I'd forgo the wedding too :D

I don't think any gal out there would turn that down (unless she doesn't know how to drive?) but even then, it would give you the opportunity to teach her something :D


my two cents

:w:

p.s actually your take home message is, it really depends on the lady you are betrothing and women are very different...

[transition?]

^^^ weddings are unnecessarily extravagant. I think it needs to be small, quick and with your family and closest friends lol. You're not the only one!

[noorseeker]

I can save £20 a month, so i dont know how i,l get marrried' or pay the mahr

[جوري]

lol sis had to see your gender to make sure you are a sister...
I don't even like the fam and friends deal, but that is just me, everyone says it is Islamically best but I think, isn't that what the witnesses and the sheikh are for? I am painfully shy and I sort of don't like people ..well, I don't like dressed up made up people with noise in the background I should rather say.. that is money that is better spent on a good honeymoon, building a nice home, buying a nice veheicle .. I think that is what money is for on that day, the bride and the groom not the bloody guests...

down with the guests.. here here

[transition?]

I can save £20 a month, so i dont know how i,l get marrried' or pay the mahr

:sl:

InshaAllah, you'll find a righteous sister who isn't superficial and values you more than your money!

:w:

DUA IS ALWAYS A GOOD OPTION :

ace:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xuoe...layer_embedded

[transition?]

lol sis had to see your gender to make sure you are a sister...
I don't even like the fam and friends deal, but that is just me, everyone says it is Islamically best but I think, isn't that what the witnesses and the sheikh are for? I am painfully shy and I sort of don't like people ..well, I don't like dressed up made up people with noise in the background I should rather say.. that is money that is better spent on a good honeymoon, building a nice home, buying a nice veheicle .. I think that is what money is for on that day, the bride and the groom not the bloody guests...

down with the guests.. here here

lol @ checking.

lol I'd keep it small so my friends and family can't help along the way through and after the wedding. I think my family and closest friends would be offended lol if I didn't let join me in a life changing decision!

lol. true that to your last line haha!

[جوري]

yeah I know what you mean.. just hate weddings, I tried to weasel out of my sister's wedding by creating fights with her but that didn't work, thankfully my bro. didn't have a wedding which is best...

this whole thread reminds me of a commercial I saw once (hilarious at that) was themed as such

'what you want, what you can afford' and it goes on about say you want a beautiful car but the next scene is the fellow taking the subway, wants a beautiful woman but ends up with a hairy pet, wants a five course meal but ends up dinning at McDonald, was so funny, come to think of it, I wonder what the point of it was, I remember at the end the what he wanted and what he could afford were one, perhaps it was hanes undershirts or something ;D ;D ;D

:w:

[transition?]

yeah I know what you mean.. just hate weddings, I tried to weasel out of my sister's wedding by creating fights with her but that didn't work, thankfully my bro. didn't have a wedding which is best...

this whole thread reminds me of a commercial I saw once (hilarious at that) was themed as such

'what you want, what you can afford' and it goes on about say you want a beautiful car but the next scene is the fellow taking the subway, wants a beautiful woman but ends up with a hairy pet, wants a five course meal but ends up dinning at McDonald, was so funny, come to think of it, I wonder what the point of it was, I remember at the end the what he wanted and what he could afford were one, perhaps it was hanes undershirts or something ;D ;D ;D

:w:

:sl:

haha, my sister is the opposite. She'd cry tears if I didn't come, as if I carry a baggage of drama or something!
lol @ starting fights.
Yeah I don't mind attending weddings, fooddddd is always an open option for me.

lol. that commercial..... And that's why you should always have low standards! jokes!

[noorseeker]

[QUOTE=transition?;1136653]:sl:

InshaAllah, you'll find a righteous sister who isn't superficial and values you more than your money!

:w:

DUA IS ALWAYS A GOOD OPTION :

Ive earned around £96,000 in 8 years, So Allah swt has given me wealth.
Its my own fault im in debt.

If only i started practising islam in my teens, i wouldnt be in this mess,

[Selising]

The question was, how much do we get, right?

I did not read all posts in this thread, so I do not know if there is any Malaysian has posted any comment. during my time, 13 years back, I received RM3000 as a present which is less than USD1000 but my husband secretly gave me RM2000 which is about USD500 to get a cow for the feast. It is our culture to call relatives and friends )school friends, work friends), my friends, hubby friends, mom's friends, my dad's friends and all villagers. Friends and relatives will gather only at weddings. I also will take opportunities to meet long lost friends or relatives that I haven't seen for years. some for almost 20 years.

Some x neighbours will say "Look at you1 You r big already"

If there is any wedding, my side or my husband's side, his relatives or my relatives, we will take that opportunity to meet other people.

so, of course a wedding will cost a lot of money. We will have something like 1000 guests. Per head will cost RM10.00 which is about USD2.50

My friend a teacher and her husband is a politician, when 3 of their children getting married at the same time, their guests like from 11am to 5pm, 200 peoples at one time non-stop. I was among people who help them serve the guests. I was so tired that I just left by 4:30pm. It was just a voluntary work.

Nowadays, most people will give RM8000 as present (USD2000) together with the real mahr RM80(USD20) and few other presents will be exchanged between them. If the guy give 7 plates of present which normally will be decorated nicely, the girl will give 9 plates. what on the plate depends on the family. the must are cakes, sweets and decorated betel leaves. from the guy there will be a ring. others are depend so much on the family's inspiration. some will give songket, some will give pair of shoes to the guy, belt, handbag for the girl, make-up set.

['Abd-al Latif]

:salamext:

The Prophet (saaws) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” [Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.]

And Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (saaws) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.” [Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.]

And shaykh ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/194:

Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allah (saaws) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.

[piXie]

and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah....

:wasalamex

what is uqiyah?

[Mujahidah4Allah]

:sl:

wow cant believe people would demand up to 35,000 .... wow.... i don't even see a point in why one would spend so much money on the wedding dress as they'll only wear it once. I'd rather just wear my burka/jilbab/abaya...

I think in Bengali weddings they show off all the brides gold when people are handing in their gifts... I'd take all the gold and boil it in a pan and would probably get murdered at he same time... i mean what will she do with all that gold?

And some brides don't eat on their wedding day i mean don't they feel hungry?

wa/salam

[Mujahidah4Allah]

:sl:

just something that came to my mind, we all know that some women want extravagant weddings, but what about brothers who had all the cash they need, would they still go for an OTT wedding or a simple one even they they can afford a huge feast... make sense?...

wa/salam

[Muezzin]

Brothers, what are you planning on giving?

Plan A:

Plan B:

Plan C:

The Nuclear Option:

[Musaafirah]

In response to Skye..
I wouldn't mind this as mehr. :D

Though at the mo I've just got a little corsa, which I love. Miss my little polo though...

[aadil77]

I'd rather get the keys to a brand new

is that a gl55? lol looks like a box on wheels

nah you'd much rather have one of these :D

best of british:

http://www.landrover.co.uk/gb/en/veh...ior-photos.htm

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Islamically speaking......

what is a dowry and Mahr?......Are they the same?
What is the purpose?
When must it be given? < before/after wedding?
What is the sunnah amount?
Do the spouse decide or the parents?


FiAmaaniAllah

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

A true story of just a little Mahr for a big gain!.....

"Let me relate a true story, told by one of the students of Sheikh Ibn Baz (Rahimullah). One day, the Sheikh was reading out loud a question from one of his female students which read something like this:

“Please ask any of your students if any of them would be interested in marrying me. I am a student of such and such and I am at such an age and am ready for marriage. The Mahr is only ONE Saudi Riyal and my father is here today to do the nikah”

(The student who related the story is actually our own dear Sheikh AA). He said basically all single brothers’ hands were up including himself.

Then Sheikh Ibn Baz asked: “Who did Fajr in Jama’ah in the Masjid every morning, never missing…?” And a lot of hands went down drastically with only a few left.

Then he asked: “Who fast Mondays and Thursdays?” a few more hands went down.

Then he asked: “Who did Tahajjud last night? And one hand remained and the Sheikh asked if he can afford to keep a wife. The answer was yes and he married that female student for only ONE Saudi Riyal (In Saudi standard, this is a real bargain).

May be we should follow that example. Allah knows best

...Source...

Comment: SubhaanAllah!!! That is trully amazing!!! She got a blessed guy!! :statisfie

FiAmaaniAllah

[Yanal]

:sl:
SubhanAllah.

Muezzin you took my plan,but thats the plan if I get married during my young teen ages 13-14:D once I'm big ,I might make a forum and dedicate it to her inshAllah.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

In response to Skye..
I wouldn't mind this as mehr. :D

Though at the mo I've just got a little corsa, which I love. Miss my little polo though...

LOL...i want something like this
http://heronarmoury.co.uk/swords/m/main/falchion.jpg
now that is what i call a mahr :shade:

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

A true story of just a little Mahr for a big gain!.....

"Let me relate a true story, told by one of the students of Sheikh Ibn Baz (Rahimullah). One day, the Sheikh was reading out loud a question from one of his female students which read something like this:

“Please ask any of your students if any of them would be interested in marrying me. I am a student of such and such and I am at such an age and am ready for marriage. The Mahr is only ONE Saudi Riyal and my father is here today to do the nikah”

(The student who related the story is actually our own dear Sheikh AA). He said basically all single brothers’ hands were up including himself.

Then Sheikh Ibn Baz asked: “Who did Fajr in Jama’ah in the Masjid every morning, never missing…?” And a lot of hands went down drastically with only a few left.

Then he asked: “Who fast Mondays and Thursdays?” a few more hands went down.

Then he asked: “Who did Tahajjud last night? And one hand remained and the Sheikh asked if he can afford to keep a wife. The answer was yes and he married that female student for only ONE Saudi Riyal (In Saudi standard, this is a real bargain).

May be we should follow that example. Allah knows best

...Source...

Comment: SubhaanAllah!!! That is trully amazing!!! She got a blessed guy!! :statisfie

FiAmaaniAllah

i totally admire how the shaikh handled that...it almost seems as if he was looking out for the girl...really wise, mashallah

[Najm]

LOL...i want something like this
http://heronarmoury.co.uk/swords/m/main/falchion.jpg
now that is what i call a mahr :shade:


i totally admire how the shaikh handled that...it almost seems as if he was looking out for the girl...really wise, mashallah

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Uhkti what you going to do with the sword....:exhausted

I wouldnt mind doing what she did you know. Although the pushy parents might insist on looking at the woman first :enough!:

FiAmaaniAllah

[Cabdullahi]

women and their demands

[Ansariyah]

women and their demands

Men n their Egos.

I think a wicked Mahr wud be to be shown all the most Beautiful Masjids in the whole world...All of them...n to pray in them...:statisfie

[Cabdullahi]

Men n their Egos.

I think a wicked Mahr wud be to be shown all the most Beautiful Masjids in the whole world...All of them...n to pray in them...:statisfie

yeah sounds like a wicked mahr but a stash of 50 pound notes in a big purse would be cool too isnt it! :rollseyes

if i had to give lots of mahr i would work day and night and if i couldnt find a job i would sell a kidney, women deserve to be pampered

[aadil77]

The Mahr is only ONE Saudi Riyal and my father is here today to do the nikah

FiAmaaniAllah

now that would be a dream come true for me (if looks were part of the package :D)

[crayon]

^Whoever thinks the mahr is one riyal has been duped; it's not, it's way more; it is fajr in a jama'ah at the masjid every morning, fasting mondays and thursdays, doing tahhajud every night... It's not something everyone can offer.

[ragdollcat1982]

If I were a Muslim woman getting married I would not mind a reasonable mahr preferably in books as I love to read and love to seek knowledge. Of course money and clothing would be nice too. I have never been a woman with expensive taste and that I believe is in my favor. If a Muslim man is to marry a Christian or Jewish woman is he obligated to give her mahr as well?

[xxxx2]

Asalamu alaikum

The marriage with the greatest blessings is that with the lesser financial burden

[ragdollcat1982]

Asalamu alaikum

The marriage with the greatest blessings is that with the lesser financial burden

I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.

[S_87]

I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.

not only in the west, weddings are also super extravagent or even more extravent in muslim countries too. The mahr itself can be £10 000 (and thats quite cheap!!)

[ragdollcat1982]

not only in the west, weddings are also super extravagent or even more extravent in muslim countries too. The mahr itself can be £10 000 (and thats quite cheap!!)

That to me is just outragoues!! As long as I have a decent roof over my head with a few amenties, clothing and decent food I am happy.:)

[S_87]

That to me is just outragoues!! As long as I have a decent roof over my head with a few amenties, clothing and decent food I am happy.:)

yup it is. the mahr is supposed to be a gift, a nice gesture from man to wife but these days it is so much more about that and i have seen engagements break up because not enough gold/suits etc were agreed upon.
its also quite silly to demand a high amount that will put the man to debt since its the woman that would also suffer if her husband is in debt paying off the mahr price, but for some reason these things dont register :?

[ragdollcat1982]

yup it is. the mahr is supposed to be a gift, a nice gesture from man to wife but these days it is so much more about that and i have seen engagements break up because not enough gold/suits etc were agreed upon.
its also quite silly to demand a high amount that will put the man to debt since its the woman that would also suffer if her husband is in debt paying off the mahr price, but for some reason these things dont register :?

People are so materialistic and it is sad. Dont get me wrong nice gifts and money are nice, but when we die we cant take it with us. I would rather have a husband who would put that money into a home and furnishing it.

[Cabdullahi]

I think the females are at fault! ......if a man could have a wife live with him in a small shed he would do that! but because of the nature of women we are forced to get big houses,big car,big money and big everything...but some women are different and are not concerned about money

[S_87]

People are so materialistic and it is sad. Dont get me wrong nice gifts and money are nice, but when we die we cant take it with us. I would rather have a husband who would put that money into a home and furnishing it.

Yup, indeed money doesnt buy happiness :statisfie

I think the females are at fault! ......if a man could have a wife live with him in a small shed he would do that! but because of the nature of women we are forced to get big houses,big car,big money and big everything...but some women are different and are not concerned about money

youre soooooooooo sexist :enough!:sometimes its actually the fathers that demand high mahrs you know...and also men dont like fancy big cars????

There is nothing wrong with liking nice things so long as we are not extravagent and do not fall into debt and get carried away in our aim to have nice things. If Allah has blessed us with money, then Alhumdulillah, we shouldnt also be stingy

[Cabdullahi]

Yup, indeed money doesnt buy happiness :statisfie


youre soooooooooo sexist :enough!:sometimes its actually the fathers that demand high mahrs you know...and also men dont like fancy big cars????

There is nothing wrong with liking nice things so long as we are not extravagent and do not fall into debt and get carried away in our aim to have nice things. If Allah has blessed us with money, then Alhumdulillah, we shouldnt also be stingy

men like big fancy cars because they know it will attract the ladies and i am not sexist,i said this before and i will say it again...i will work my socks of to get the required mahr in the future and if i cant i would get rid of a kidney for who for the opposite sex, for the wife inshallah

[Brother_Mujahid]

Brothers, what are you planning on giving?

a date.... or maybe just half, yeah i think half would do. eat half and give half. that would be brilliant, just brilliant.

[xxxx2]

I am so amazed here in the West that people will spend thousands of dollars on a wedding and the trimmings when that money would be best spent buying a home and setting up that home.

Sadly enough, in islamic society these exist too but this what happens sadly when people stop follow religion as it should be followed as they become more materialistic they are less to lesser degree humbled,

But ist must be sad that there are plenty good muslimah will never ask somthign which is excessive.

and a small reminder to the sisters too...

Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant}, [Soorah al-An'aam, Aayah 141].

and

A Pious Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:wasalamex

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Uhkti what you going to do with the sword....:exhausted

swords are a good weapon *and no, not to kill my husband*...

I wouldnt mind doing what she did you know. Although the pushy parents might insist on looking at the woman first :enough!:

who looks at the girl first? you or them? :$

[SouljahOfAllah]

Allahu Alam
what ever he is capable of giving.
iam willing to accept. But i think i would like it to be for him to take me to hajj or at least umrah.

[HopeFul]

In my specific itte cuture theres normally land and lots of gold and a house given in her name, fuly paid for, but then I was only given something like a thousand quid, which was like giving away for free oh and some gold , worth about 10 thousand quid..

I think that mehr should be as much as the man can afford without going broke... Like a bit of security.. in anyway, I dont have much of an idea in the western culture where the man normally doesnt own anything until hes.. well very od hehehe normally back home people normally have alreayd bought a house and have inherited some land... hence they put it in the brides name...

I guess for a man with medium savings.. like 5-10 thousand quid, he should pay around 2-5 thousand quid in mehr, but then I may be wrong...

[convert]

In my specific itte cuture theres normally land and lots of gold and a house given in her name, fuly paid for, but then I was only given something like a thousand quid, which was like giving away for free oh and some gold , worth about 10 thousand quid..

I think that mehr should be as much as the man can afford without going broke... Like a bit of security.. in anyway, I dont have much of an idea in the western culture where the man normally doesnt own anything until hes.. well very od hehehe normally back home people normally have alreayd bought a house and have inherited some land... hence they put it in the brides name...

I guess for a man with medium savings.. like 5-10 thousand quid, he should pay around 2-5 thousand quid in mehr, but then I may be wrong...

Yeah I won't be able to buy a house until I'm like 50 unless I want to take a mortgage... which means I won't be able to buy a house until I'm like 50. I have a house but its in an area with basically 0 muslims and not much development around it so I don't reckon any wife of mine would want to live there.

I still say anything more than a month's salary is being unreasonable on the brother.

[HopeFul]

Everyone should give mahr according to what they can AFFORD. So in case someone doesnt have any savings, they should give a part of their salary for mahr, a big part of it perhaps but def nothing byond it..

And those are just my views..

In our culture, we always give and recieve mahr from what the man already has, nothing is accepted if it is a loan por not with hm at that particular time...

[جوري]

is that a gl55? lol looks like a box on wheels

nah you'd much rather have one of these :D

best of british:

http://www.landrover.co.uk/gb/en/veh...ior-photos.htm

I assure you it is the Brabus GV12 that I desire, I actually love the boxy look, I know (it is an acquired taste) I can appreciate that but it is a proper off roader to pull off some of my acrobatics, now if I can only acquire it in my possession.. my current car looks like it with a wheel on the back, the only discernible difference of course, is that mine dies on me every 5 weeks
and I have visited enough car shops to actually fix it myself by now.

:w:

[جوري]

In response to Skye..
I wouldn't mind this as mehr. :D

Though at the mo I've just got a little corsa, which I love. Miss my little polo though...

it would be a shame to have a car like this and end up stuck in rush hour traffic.. I don't foresee myself twirling up to my Italian belvedere any time soon... I usually chuckle to myself when I see one of these buffoons from 0-60m in a nanosecond only to be stuck for 47 mins on a 10 min drive.. I always hear their engine roaring up for something tremendous but then it all fizzles.. plus the view of them is even more hilarious in a 4x4-- you just want to scream.. do you need a booster seat for that .....

[ragdollcat1982]

I think if I was a single Muslim woman about to marry I would just want books.

[Najm]

:wasalamex

swords are a good weapon *and no, not to kill my husband*...


who looks at the girl first? you or them? :$

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

A weapon ?!:blind:

I surely aint looking at the girl first.

So yh, if i was that guy who got chosen to marry the girl for one saudi riyal, the pushy parents would have insisted the girl is beautiful above all, oh and that she can cook and clean and maybe even had a degree but to be a full time housewife. :enough!:

FiAmaaniAllah

[Mujahidah4Allah]

^ sitting like that... that'll just lead to obesity ...

wa/salam

[Musaafirah]

it would be a shame to have a car like this and end up stuck in rush hour traffic.. I don't foresee myself twirling up to my Italian belvedere any time soon... I usually chuckle to myself when I see one of these buffoons from 0-60m in a nanosecond only to be stuck for 47 mins on a 10 min drive.. I always hear their engine roaring up for something tremendous but then it all fizzles.. plus the view of them is even more hilarious in a 4x4-- you just want to scream.. do you need a booster seat for that .....

Have you ever had a sports car overtake you, simply coz they could, even though you're going above the speed limit and there's hardly any space, but they squeeze past and then start driving slow. ARGH!
Anyway, a friend of mine was saying how with her potential-to-be, his parents always give the brides brand new cars as standard after they're married.

[جوري]

Have you ever had a sports car overtake you, simply coz they could, even though you're going above the speed limit and there's hardly any space, but they squeeze past and then start driving slow. ARGH!
Anyway, a friend of mine was saying how with her potential-to-be, his parents always give the brides brand new cars as standard after they're married.

Nah my car is too bulky for them to overtake me lol and I can be as ruthless on the road as I am on the forum if the mood takes me, and it takes me often :D ( I should really invest in bullet proof windows)

Nice potential to be.. this one is a keeper :) ask her if he has any brothers? :D

:w:

[Cabdullahi]

A nice desk with all the essentials, such as pens, pencil, paper, computer, chair, oven, hobs, pans and a washing machine. Perfect... all she needs. Hehe. :X

That chair is too small for that gluteus maximus....anyways erm it is always good to buy something that could also benefit you in the long run....for example you could get an apron with her name on it ''master chef ____',it just might make her more motivated :thumbs_up


ohh i see women want cars now cool! i will make a new invention a big beautiful car that when you enter it, its a kitchen? haha