need advise on looking to get marrried in the west

[yusuf18]

as salamu alkum brothers and sisters i have a somewhat problem im sure many guys can relate to me i want to get married very very bad i dont want to sin im 18 years old. i live in uk the people who i normaly meet are not intrested to get married they just want to have fun and thats ofcourse not alowed in islam. do you know of anywere were can look for marriage were the agenda is only on getting married, were are the best places give me some advise please

[AhlaamBella]

Go to the Masjid and get to know the brothers there. You can then spread the word that you are looking to get married. Before you know it the word will get round and you will hear of different sisters also looking to get married.

[yusuf18]

Go to the Masjid and get to know the brothers there. You can then spread the word that you are looking to get married. Before you know it the word will get round and you will hear of different sisters also looking to get married.

cheers never heard that before

[AhlaamBella]

No problem. That's the way I did it lol. My father spread the word around

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[yusuf18]

No problem. That's the way I did it lol. My father spread the word around

n u liveing in uk right ?hw long did it take you n is their any othere way apart from the masjid/and also i like the idea of getting a wife abroud like in a arab contry like in a villiage lol

[AhlaamBella]

Yeah I'm in the UK. It took a few tries, meeting different brothers with my parents. If you want you could try muslim mathc.com. I wouldn't usually recommend muslim marriage sites, but I can't think of another way to find someone internationally.

[yusuf18]

Yeah I'm in the UK. It took a few tries, meeting different brothers with my parents. If you want you could try muslim mathc.com. I wouldn't usually recommend muslim marriage sites, but I can't think of another way to find someone internationally.

thanks just go with the masjid u a sister right ?

[Yanal]

I would say wait,get settled with an appropiate amount of money and decent job to support your family because it looks easy but is hard.18 is too young for marriage. Did you drop out of college or Uni (hope not)?

[AhlaamBella]

I would say wait,get settled with an appropiate amount of money and decent job to support your family because it looks easy but is hard.18 is too young for marriage. Did you drop out of college or Uni (hope not)?

18 is too young??? Allah hu Akbar. I am 17 and engaged. How old was Aisha r.a when she married? Wasn't there a companion of the Prophet SAW who lead the army who was only 17-19?

I hate it when people see marriage as settling down. It is the start of a new journey that you go on together as companions. Isn't that how it was described by the Prophet SAW? Companionship?

Studies are able to co-exist with a marriage. I'm the woman yet I have still stayed on at college and aiming for Uni if Allah allows it.

Marriage is not the end of a "young life"

[youngsister]

18 is too young??? Allah hu Akbar. I am 17 and engaged. How old was Aisha r.a when she married? Wasn't there a companion of the Prophet SAW who lead the army who was only 17-19?

I hate it when people see marriage as settling down. It is the start of a new journey that you go on together as companions. Isn't that how it was described by the Prophet SAW? Companionship?

Studies are able to co-exist with a marriage. I'm the woman yet I have still stayed on at college and aiming for Uni if Allah allows it.

Marriage is not the end of a "young life"

I seen a few young couple marry, both in Uni they dont live together but will be soon Isha Allah and masha allah it looks like its working out well for them plus they dont fall into the dating* trap.
So yes I agree there are different ways of going about it :)

[AhlaamBella]

Exactly. It can simply be a halaal boyfriend/girlfriend situation only more committed and fulfilling their duties to each other. No biggie. lol

[Intisar]

I would say wait,get settled with an appropiate amount of money and decent job to support your family because it looks easy but is hard.18 is too young for marriage. Did you drop out of college or Uni (hope not)?

:sl: I disagree, if it's a real fitnah for you then you should either fast or get married. It's obvious that this brother wants to get married, 18 is not ''too young'', I know many people that have married even younger. 18 is even considered an adult in the West, so I don't see how it's too young at all.

My Dad married my mum whilst he was doing his masters, and being married didn't phase him at all alhamdulilah, he completed his graduates degree. So it's generally a matter of determination and knowing what comes first (time management).

[AhlaamBella]

Very true Sis. It is a matter of individual preference and capability. Marriage isn't the be all and end all lol

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Yanal's, very young brother, and MarshaAllah learning, lets not pick on him:rollseyes

To the west....marriage is something you do, once you get a car, house, education, career, most likely late 20s

For loads of people, marriage means the endlife, you know settle down, have kids etc Us Muslims need to stop looking at what the west like to do!!!!

Its just people's perception!!

Anyone can be young and still do all that. I see marriage couples going college, uni, even work!!! Marriage is not a barrier to anything. Getting married early means saving yourself from the fitnah around.

Like uhkti said...."Halal Boyfriend/Girlfriend"

You can never be too young!

FiAmaaniAllah

[anonymous]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Getting married early means saving yourself from the fitnah around.

YES!Thank YOU Najm!

Mash'Allah bro, good for you! You've realised that you want a relationship, yet turned the right way and decided on marriage! I wish more men were like you! usually men start to think like this when they are older...when they've matured and..made their mistakes. Erm.. Btw i dont mean to generalize, of course not ALL men are like that,(only most of the ones i've met!).

Alright,back on topic. Ways..ways..the best suggestion has already been said,but I'd advise you to tell your friends, family, let it be known that you are indeed looking to get married. If you meet a nice girl at work or uni or wherever it may be dont shy away from approaching her properly and letting her know your intentions(if she understands and follows Islam properly, she will not find this "ridiculously creepy",she will understand that you're a muslim bro and your following th eproper concepts of relationship,i.e,marriage, of Islam)

Gud luck!!!

[noorseeker]

i,d get my kids married in their teens, but they will not have to move in together,

they can walk hand in hand to school if they want.

[AhlaamBella]

i,d get my kids married in their teens, but they will not have to move in together,

they can walk hand in hand to school if they want.

lol Love it :D

[Dawud_uk]

:sl:

sheikh khalid recommended marriage even earlier, at school age to prevent fitnah and help the young muslims keep things halal because we all know what is happening in the community around us when parents and society prevents the young from marrying.

you dont need a lot of money, i married for about £700 including mahr by using a masjid to hold the walima and cooking the food with a brother ourselves, i know brothers who had even more simple walima's than i did which cost much less than this even.

one bro, someone brought pizzas, someone else curry, someone else roti, someone else fizzy drinks and we split it all in half, half went into the sisters section of the masjid, half in the brothers and we ate and this was the cheapest most simple walima with the most blessings mashallah.

now do you need your own place? well that depends, but usually no, not unless you know your mother is going to be a tyrant against your poor prospective wife.

do you need a car? no off course not.

do you need a degree? what is wrong with the muslims today that we send the youngsters into the worst places of fitnah without being married first, even making going through such a place a prerequisite on getting married and protecting yourself from the fitnah there. crazy.

now do you need a job? probably but not always, but once again i know people who have managed whilst they were still looking for work or still at school as long as you have family and friends to support you.

so if you have no degree, no job, no car, no house (but still have a roof over your head), no money for fancy walima then yes you can still get married.

18 is not too young, in my opinion it is probably leaving things a little too late.

:sl:

[~SkYWaLkeR~]

:sl:

I would say wait,get settled with an appropiate amount of money and decent job to support your family because it looks easy but is hard.18 is too young for marriage. Did you drop out of college or Uni (hope not)?

I totally agree with you, I think it is too early and you shouldn't rush into this because it's a very big decision that you wouldn't want to regret.
take time to think..
Plus: if you are afraid of getting caught in zina..there is a solution, god made something halal if you're in this situation to keep you away from zina.

:w:

[yusuf18]

I would say wait,get settled with an appropiate amount of money and decent job to support your family because it looks easy but is hard.18 is too young for marriage. Did you drop out of college or Uni (hope not)?

i got my own bussness kinda its my dad his going to pass it over so not bad eh

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

I'm all for early marriages, but "halal" 'boyfriend/girlfriends'? No thanks. It just doesn't work that way.

[aadil77]

:sl:

Nice, a good thread for some of us younger members. Parents have got to get past these cultural and social barriers to make it easier for young marriages to go ahead

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
If you are ready and serious about marriage, thats great Alhamdulillah! I do think it is good to get married young, however do not just marry-one just to not commit a sin, as often that could lead to regret...and start you wanting some-one else, because you never thought things through properly.... or perhaps that is my own fear of getting married young, that my husband will regret it, cos he has grown up a bit more and I am no longer what he wants..

Anyhow, if you are looking to marry through marriage sites, this maybe a good site?
www.jimas.org has their own marriage site,
http://www.jimas.org/morndew.htm

It is done Islamically, as all is done through Wali's... I know some marriagesites, claim to be for muslims but still allow free-mixing:X

InshaAllah I pray it all works out for! :)