I messed up and need help

[anonymous]

Hello and Salam

Im a young muslim male and ive fallen for a muslim girl, she also likes me but the thing is we cannot marry each other for atleast 3 years due to many reasons..., i started talking to her online, we shared pictures etc and now i completely crossed my limit and spoke to her over the phone. I used to pray 5 times a day but since i started talking to this girl i havent prayed properly. I want to stop talking to her because ive completely messed up myself and i want to stop right now. I know how love marriages always have a low chance of working out especially ones over the internet, and i know how talking to this girl is haraam because we even flirt etc... it gets really bad somtimes..., i want to stop talking to this girl but how should i do it should i just stop completely because this would hurt her and depress her. Please help me i want to stop this haraam i am commiting because i feel too guility now.

Would asking Allah for help be bad for this situation?

[sshussain]

Walikum As Salaam,
Fast on Mondays and Thursdays, that will help you a lot and tell her to fast too. Its better and will keep you away from the Haraam.

[KashifB]

Would asking Allah for help be bad for this situation?

:sl:

Asking Allah subhanahu wata'ala for help is never bad or wrong.

[Snowflake]

assalamu alaykum lil bro,

alhumdulillah for realising and wanting to put a stop to this matter. you must do it even if it hurts the girl. since on the Day when we are going to be questioned, we cant say, we didnt stop such and such a sin for fear of hurting someone's feelings? Do you get what I'm saying?Do it for the sake of Allah, for His pleasure, forgiveness of sins and His blessings. MashaAllah you have realized the difference between right and wrong. That is great mashaAllah. May Allah make is easy for you and keep all of us rightly guided. Ameen

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[Triumphant]

If you're both over 20 you can just get your nikaah done~!

[AnonyMouse~]

Wa'alaikumasalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

Well if u still want to marry her you can always just tell her that you don't want to talk until you actually get married and explain u still WANT to marry her but its haraam for you guys to talk. If she doesn't accept that, you obviously SHOULDNT marry her cuz she needs help. And if shes a good pious sister, she will be fine with it. If you don't want to do that then as the brother above me suggested just do nikkah. :)

[noorahmad]

assalam walikum, go get married man!!!
and why not pray a little more for both of you to be together and live a islamic life.

[sevgi]

Hello and Salam

Im a young muslim male and ive fallen for a muslim girl, she also likes me but the thing is we cannot marry each other for atleast 3 years due to many reasons..., i started talking to her online, we shared pictures etc and now i completely crossed my limit and spoke to her over the phone. I used to pray 5 times a day but since i started talking to this girl i havent prayed properly. I want to stop talking to her because ive completely messed up myself and i want to stop right now. I know how love marriages always have a low chance of working out especially ones over the internet, and i know how talking to this girl is haraam because we even flirt etc... it gets really bad somtimes..., i want to stop talking to this girl but how should i do it should i just stop completely because this would hurt her and depress her. Please help me i want to stop this haraam i am commiting because i feel too guility now.

Would asking Allah for help be bad for this situation?

:sl:

No one is this world is unforgettable, unforgivable and irreplacable.

You will hurt her now, yes. But you will save her hereafter. Besides, she will forget, forgive and replace you just as you will, her. She will thank and respect you for it one day.

Think about how hurt your soul is getting trying to carry this haram and her haq you are burdening yourself with. In the hereafter, she will blame you for all the haram you are doing today...and you will blame her. Think about how sympathetically angry your creator is getting.

It is never too deep a relationship. It is never too late. There is no point which renders the relationship impossible to break or temporarily pause. 'After this point' doesn't exist.

You are feeling the right things. Stick some shoes on those feelings and take them for a walk down the right path.

Ask Allah to give you the strength to do this.

Stop it before you are stopped. Take heed of the signs and feelings because as time progresses, He may not bother anymore.

:w:

[Juhaina]

My Opinion...marry her if you love her. Or if you cant marry her now and have to wait 3 years why not? you could get engaged and then marry in 3 years.

But if you dont see this right and if you see you have to end it, then its better to end it. but dont end it like stop talking to her suddenly. tell her that you wana stop talking and tell her the reason for this. im sure she will understand....sure she will be hurted right now but in some time she will understand.

your situation reminds me on mine some time ago. i was talking to a muslim guy for a long time. we were loving each other...wanted to marry but we couldnt. there was no way for us. at first we stayed together and thought one day there will be a way for us even if it will be in 20 years. but that was not right. day by day it got more worse...much more problems and so on.
plus he changed much and started to talk to other girls but thats another story....
in the end i left him cause there was no solution for us to be together. maybe god saved me cause he wasnt the right one for me?
first it hurted so much...i thought i wana die, cant live without him, things like that. but day by day it got better and then god send me a really great man and we war engaged now and insha allah will marry soon.

maybe you two are not the right ones for each other?

if you see a way to marry her than do it and get engaged but if you dont see a way, then stop it. caus living with this girl first is haram and without any solution it will make you go crazy.
i m sure one day god will send you the right one ;)

Salam