Marriage arguement with Parents

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

I would like to get some advice from the members on this board.

I am running into a situation that may lead to confrontation with my parents and my fiance's parents. My fiance currently lives overseas and her parents do not want to send her over here till right before the wedding. However, I want her to come here months before the wedding so she can see how this country is and how I live. I would like her to know for sure that she wants to live here with me. She has never been here before and from my conversations with her I can tell she is really scared about leaving her family, friends, and old life behind.

Now, she will not live with me as that is haraam but her sister and aunt both live here and have separate homes. The issue is that her sister is already married but her husband is also my fiance's cousin so I am not sure if this is considered a haraam living arrangement.

The other issue is that her aunt has a son slightly younger than my fiance. He is engaged as well. I trust the guy as I know him very well (he is my cousin too). When he goes over seas to visit he always stays at my fiance's house so they have no issue with him sleeping over there. But the concern is that people will talk.

Am I right to request this? I would like to be sure that my fiance wants to live here as opposed to just bringing her over here and hoping for the best. What is the best way to approach this? How far should I go in trying to get them to see my side?

[Dawud_uk]

:sl:

yes it is, it is forbidden to live with a cousin also unless there is some necessity such as not having another home.

some people take the issue of mixing with their cousins very lightly but Rasoolullah (saws) said: Beware of entering upon women. A man from among the Ansaar said: O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the in-law? He said: The in-law is death. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172. Al-Layth ibn Saâd said: The in-law is the brother and similar relatives of the husband, his cousin and so on. It was also narrated by Muslim.

:sl:

[Israfeel]

And what if she decides she doesn't want to live here with you? Do you mind stating which country she currently resides in? If she is coming from a country such as England its going to be a huge change to live here. I'm sure she would much prefer to have her children born and raised in England that the United States. I don't its a good idea to have her come now. Her parents are right in keeping her until right before the wedding.

Allahu Alam

assalam alaikum