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tell_me_why
02-08-2009, 01:46 AM
I want to know If it's haraam to kill yourself If you are gay,that's a serious question,that's not a joke,I need to know If I can do that because I can't live I don't want to live,I am very unhappy and sad,I feel so alone,I'm 19 years old I had sex whith older men when I was 14 years old I have been 5 years old without any kind of sex,I always ask to Allah to change my sexual orientation and to forgive my past sins but He doesn't hear me and He doesn't help me,I can't handle my live I suffer every second,I can't stop crying,you may say that I should marry a woman but I know that wouldn't help me because I have never liked women so thinking that having heterosexual sex with a woman would help me,you are wrong because I don't like women and it's very difficult because women don't want to marry a gay man and I can't lie to her because she deserves the truthe deserves to be with a man that really loves her and is attracted to her,so I am sentenced to live alone,unhappy and sad,I prefer to die I wish it's not haram a gay person to kill himself,thank you all
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Ummu Sufyaan
02-08-2009, 07:36 AM
:sl:
just answer one question for me: what on earth do you hope to achieve with suicide?
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peaceandlove
02-08-2009, 08:18 AM
:sl: Brother

well you ask "f it's haraam to kill yourself If you are gay" , one thing you must know suicide is not allowed in Islam in any way so forget this option and try to think some better option , one thing it human nautical that he do some sin and almost any person can do sin due to any reason but we don't have to stick on that sin and try to leave that with our utmost effort.

You said "I always ask to Allah to change my sexual orientation and to forgive my past sins but He doesn't hear me and He doesn't help me"

why you feel Allah will not forgive you , Allah is so kind to us that even you do sins that fill oceans and you want forgiveness from Allah by your heart and promise not to do that again, Allah will forgive you . Allah loves us more than a mother loves his son , so always pray Allah to forgive us and never think that Allah is not hearing you ,

In last i want to give you a suggestion how to over come this , might be it take some time to over come this sin but if you have will power you can do it

First you know it is sin so you must set your mind that you have to leave it. now when you decide it in your mind you have to then this is the start of leaving that sin.
Then start praying five times a day that will help you do leave that sin as Allah say in Holy Quran that Salat (Prayer ) will help you to stop doing sins.

Then one thing when ever you want that you have to do sin engage your self in some working like doing some other work etc if possible some hard working exercise

Finally marry some good women ,Now you said you don't like women ,brother i think for this you need some doctor( mental medical doctor) , because i read it that one some one had that problem he can correct himself by consulting a doctor ,

Hope by doing this one day you will over come your sins might be it take some days but with the help of Allah you can do it just make it in your mind that you have to do it and inshalalh you will succeed.

Last if you feel that you will not find any doctor who will help you to over come this sin please personal message me and i will give you a link to a forum where i think you might find a doctor or some one help you to over come this in much better way.

and be happy with your life :D and never think of suciding just try to over come your sins.
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sevgi
02-08-2009, 09:17 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by tell_me_why
I want to know If it's haraam to kill yourself If you are gay,that's a serious question,that's not a joke,I need to know If I can do that because I can't live I don't want to live,I am very unhappy and sad,I feel so alone,I'm 19 years old I had sex whith older men when I was 14 years old I have been 5 years old without any kind of sex,I always ask to Allah to change my sexual orientation and to forgive my past sins but He doesn't hear me and He doesn't help me,I can't handle my live I suffer every second,I can't stop crying,you may say that I should marry a woman but I know that wouldn't help me because I have never liked women so thinking that having heterosexual sex with a woman would help me,you are wrong because I don't like women and it's very difficult because women don't want to marry a gay man and I can't lie to her because she deserves the truthe deserves to be with a man that really loves her and is attracted to her,so I am sentenced to live alone,unhappy and sad,I prefer to die I wish it's not haram a gay person to kill himself,thank you all
Salams,

You know, sometimes, the key to getting an accurate or productive answer depends on the way you ask a question. Question asking is a skill. I think the question you have asked is all wrong.

You are trying to justify doing something utterly haram by giving another haram as the means to the suicide.

So in essence, you want to fix a haraam, that is, being gay, by doing another haram, that is, killing yourself.

First of all...stop feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing in your life is worth killing yourself. I know how serious you are...but the fact that you have sought out help from us shows me that you do not really want to die.

So you can't kill yourself. Haram. Period. But you cant be gay either. Haram. period. What do you do?

You do what every unmarried brother does. Refrains from any from of intercourse. refrain from bad thoughts...even if the subject of them is male orientated.

Look, I dnt know how the chemistry behind this stuff works. I know that it is wrong...and if wasnt wrong, it wouldnt be haram. I dont know if you can help being gay or not...but the fact that you are gay is rendering you lonely for the rest of your life (in your own words). Death is not an option though. Isnt that ultimate lonliness? You either live like this...or try to change...

Whatever you do, dont lose or change your faith in order to accomodate your immoral thoughts. One of my bestfriends out of highschool turned gay when we finished school. Naturally, we lost our connection...and recently, I found out that he has become agnostic so that his conscience doesnt hurt every time he does what he does.

I could say so much to you...but its kinda embarassing. I mean, it'll be awkward for me to sit here and ask/ discuss your sexual past and future.

So yeah, what im trying to say bro is that you either accept or reject yourself. But in no way can you eject yourself. research all your options. at the end of the day, what you want to do is in your hands from that point.

ws
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crayon
02-08-2009, 09:19 AM
"Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself, he will be in the Fire of Hell throwing himself down for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will have the poison in his hand, drinking it in the Fire of Hell forever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron (i.e. a weapon) will have that piece of iron in his hand, stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell forever and ever."

Suicide isn't the solution to your problem.
Believing and trusting in Allah is.

Read this link
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halloula
02-08-2009, 09:37 AM
salam
brother it is haram to kill your self and as brother alpha dude said being a gay is a sickness and you can seek psychiatric help to get over it. it may take time but it worths trying and keep praying to God and do salat el haja (the pray of need) that may help you. Never give up on your life we have a lot to do and to prove to allah. do your best stop thinking of suiciding and pray to allah and seek help for your situation
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speakerofpeace
02-08-2009, 11:49 AM
salam alaikum
brother it is the shaitan within you who is creating all this badness for you. you need to get closer to ALLAH as possible and his mercy upon you will be neverending inshaALLAH
May ALLAH guide us all AMEEN
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tresbien
02-08-2009, 04:29 PM
Dear brother in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.

First of all, we'd like to know the reason behind your considering the religion a burden you can’t bear!

What we want to say is that Islam is an easy religion that is within everybody’s capacity. Those who take a difficult approach in religion and try to convince themselves that carrying out religious commands and putting into effect the religious tenets is a burden will undoubtedly find it, not only a burden, but a heavy load that is difficult to bear.

Dear brother, we wonder why do you try to convince yourself that inability to carry out your religious duties will inevitably cause you to dwell in Hell permanently!

Though your question doesn’t refer to specific sinful acts that might have filled you with such despair, we would like to bring to your awareness that those who are said to dwell forever in Hell-Fire are those who associate other partners along with Allah!

We’d also like to inform you that Allah Almighty forgives all sins except for the great sin of unbelief. Allah Almighty says: “Lo! Allah forgiveth not that a partner should be ascribed unto Him. He forgiveth (all) save that to whom He will. Whoso ascribeth partners to Allah, he hath indeed invented a tremendous sin.” (An-Nisaa': 48)

Now, let your heart be at ease dear brother, and do convince yourself that all of us are flesh and human beings who are liable to committing mistakes. All of us, for sure, err, but Allah forgives our sins and wipes them out if we are sincere in our repentance, true to our causes and determined in our intention.

Dearest brother, as there is pleasure, so there is pain; as there is happiness and joy, there is also trouble and suffering. Each experience we have is meant to teach us something. No one goes through this life without experiencing some type of problem. Try to think of what lesson Allah Almighty is trying to teach you. Concerning this, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "No weariness nor illness nor sorrow nor sadness nor hurt nor distress befalls a Muslim, even to the pricking of a thorn, without Allah's expiating some of his sins by it."

It might be hard right now to think of the positive things in your life but try to appreciate and be grateful for what you do have. Allah tells us that after every hardship comes ease, so remember that there is no situation that will remain permanent. Be sure that after darkness there will be light and dawn will soon be followed by daybreak. Life is full of hardships but Muslims must accept this as part of their test, and to face them with patience.

Originally, suicide is an act that is totally forbidden in Islam. Suicide is not an option for you. Islamic teachings tell us that in committing suicide, one will incur the wrath of Allah to the extent that after death, one will suffer eternal punishment, i.e. a person committing suicide will be made to kill himself over and over again by the same means with which he took his own life.

Referring to the aforementioned fact, Thabit Ibn Ad-Dahhaak quoted the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as saying:

“Whoever intentionally swears falsely by a religion other than Islam, then he is what he has said (e.g. if he says, 'If such thing is not true then I am a Jew,' he is really a Jew). And whoever commits suicide with piece of iron will be punished with the same piece of iron in the Hell-Fire.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Also the Hadith you quoted: the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is also reported to have said: "A man was inflicted with wounds and he committed suicide, and so Allah said: My slave has caused death on himself hurriedly, so I forbid Paradise for him.”

This is a horrible fate for anyone. Nothing in our lives could be so out of control to the extent of considering ending our lives, especially knowing the punishment that is awaiting us if we choose to do so.

The common reason behind thinking of suicide is always despair. As regards the remedy of this state, we’d like also to cite the following:

“The remedy is hope. Allah made hopelessness unlawful by saying, “Do not despair of Allah's mercy.” (Yusuf: 87) Thus, no matter at what level of despair, depression and frustration we are, whether loss of a loved one or a job, or as the result of anger from someone else, we must not give up hope as there is a ray of hope at the end of the tunnel. The greatest hope is mercy from Allah.

Hope is the medicine which keeps one alive and going, which is when we say, hang on, we mean hang onto the thread of hope. It is not unnatural to be sad over situations and events. Even Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, used to be sad, looking at the plight of Unbelievers and their rejection of his message for Oneness of Allah, and not becoming Muslims. And Allah reminded him by saying, "Lo! thou (O Muhammad) guidest not whom thou lovest, but Allah guideth whom He will." (Al-Qasas: 56)

During dejection, there is darkness, but in hope, there is light. Therefore, one must pray for this light to illuminate the heart so that we can see beyond what is causing the suffering today. If I knew that I would not see tomorrow, I might get depressed, but the fact that I hope I will see tomorrow with all its goodness, the love of my family, my friends, dear ones, the flowers, that I go to sleep in peace, turning myself to Allah. We must pray for Allah's mercy and forgiveness so that we can love and forgive ourselves and Allah's other creations and have peace with ourselves, our Creator, and our surroundings.

We Muslims believe that all our suffering, failures and adversities are nothing but a test from Allah, who has said, “And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast, who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! To Allah we belong and unto Him we are returning.” (Al-Baqarah: 155-56)”
[Source: http://www.soundvision.com]

May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Amen.
www.islamonline.net

Homosexuality is a major sin which deserves the most severe of punishments in this world and in the Hereafter. See Question no. 5177. But the person who does that cannot be described as a kaafir because of that, unless he thinks that it is permissible and claims that it is halaal – in which he is to be denounced as a kaafir. But simply doing it whilst admitting that it is haraam does not put a Muslim beyond the pale of Islam. He is still a Muslim, but he is exposed to the wrath of Allaah and is committing a major sin. It is not permissible for you to go ahead and marry him until he repents sincerely. Simply promising does not count as repentance. My advice to you is not to go ahead and marry him, rather you have to look for a righteous man who will be the means of bringing you happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. Homosexuality, just like other major sins, is open to repentance: whoever repents, Allaah will accept his repentance.

WWW.ISLAMQA.COM
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yusuf18
02-08-2009, 11:03 PM
do not kill your self but if you want the truth being gay needs a punishment in a muslim contray if they found out u slept with a man you will be hanged so count yourself lucky change know.sometimes you need lashings to make you turn away from your perverted ways unfortunatly your living in a karfi land they dont care.fear allah
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Amat Allah
02-09-2009, 01:33 AM
why killing ur self brother trust me u don`t deserve to be killed ever u deserve to be happy and satisfied

r u worried about not accepting ur repentance from Allah ??? nooo my dear brother Allah forgave all those disbelievers who repented to him and u my brother believing in Allah so why not ....

its ok we are all sining but the most important is to return to Allah and to ask him for his forgiveness and of course trusting him no matter what and trust me he will never ever let u down...

someone who is trying to kill him self feeling ashamed from Allah coz he sined doesn`t deserve to be dead or killed I am happy for yah coz u r trying so hard to please Allah coz u r so true and a good muslim...

we r not perfect but we will never ever stop trying to be better and better ...

brother the door of repentance is opened for yah and for everyone ...

walk to Allah my dear brother and he will run to u trust him coz u have no one honest %100 with u but him and if u lost everything and everyone he will be there for u and u will never lose him ever...

talk to Allah cry to him tell him everything in ur heart everything tell him that u r sorry and u made a mistake and no one can forgive u and give u peace and happiness but him empty ur heart to him and he will listen and will never stop u from talking ever...

try ur best to read Quraan and to remember Allah always...

may Allah guide u love u and purify u from all sins and may he fills ur heart with his rememberance faith peace happiness and satisfaction may allah protect u from all harms sins shaitan and hellfire and may he rewards u with the highest levels of paradise with out being reckoning Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen

don`t be sad Allah is with u brother ^^

we r all with yah after Allah and we will never forget u in our Duaa ...

may Allah be pleased with u Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
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Ushae
02-09-2009, 11:49 AM
Allah will not change your sexual orientation. It's never so simple brother, he gave all of us a free will for a very good reason. When we ask for intelligence, strength or love does Allah magically imbue us with the attributes we ask for ? No, instead he gives us the opportunity to gain those attributes.

Suicide is an absolute no. It is haram and will end up condemning you to hell forever, with no reprieve or forgiveness. It isn't the solution, no matter what your sins are.

You say you had sex with men when you were only 14 ? Sounds more like emotional blackmail or rape to me.. It sounds as if an older gay man somehow convinced you that you are gay, when at the time you didn't know any better. Since then you've decided to develop your emotions and feelings as a homosexual, rather than a straight man. Allah will give you the opportunity to change.

When you say that you could never marry another woman, because it wouldn't be true. This is also totally false. There are heterosexual men out there who are married to women they feel they do not love. Is this a reason not to love them ? No it isn't. Allah loves us even when we commit atrocities and grave sins, does he stop loving us ? No. So tell me what possible reason do you have not to be able to love a wife. It certainly isn't difficult unless you yourself make it difficult.

I think you may be a victim to your own lust. There is a stark difference between lust and love. When a married woman is attracted to another man, does that make it right ? By western standards it is apparently haha, hell they even publicise such things in TV shows ! No it isn't right, by no means. Temptation is the bane of all men and women and is one of our most common weaknesses.

Fee Iman Allah
U
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Mustapha@
02-09-2009, 12:59 PM
:sl:

May Allah guide to the stright path brother !

we are all here to say that you should not think of killing yourself. we all know that you are a good person. Allah knows that you hate yourself being a homosexual. Allah knows that you want to change yourself. Allah knows that you like Him...so please dear brother why do you want to displease Who you like? Allah forbidden His servants to committ suicide...why do you want to disobey him? Allah forgive all sins except associating a partner with him, which you did not, so why you want to make your sin more bigger? Allah says:

“Lo! Allah forgiveth not that a partner should be ascribed unto Him. He forgiveth (all) save that to whom He will. Whoso ascribeth partners to Allah, he hath indeed invented a tremendous sin.”
(An-Nisaa': 48)

So Allah will forgive you...just have a hope in Him

many people people nowadays, unfortunately, committ fornication secretely why don't they think in killing themselves? do not think that your sin is bigger than theirs. both yours and theirs are majors sins, however, both of them are forgivable by Allah...when people repent and refrain from doing them...why do you want to stirr the wrath of Allah and take life from the person He created ,which is you,...Allah is the One who creates, and He is the One Who takes life from His servants...why do you want to take a soul that you did not create? Allah is the Creator of our souls...and He is the only One Who takes those soles....

I'm sure that you have many people who like you. you parents love you, your family love you...so why do you want to pierce their hearts and make them suffer? :)

so my brother think millions times...and bear in mind that Allah Forgive all sins except associating a partner with him when someone really repent and refrain. just try to change your self. try to get along with good friends. try to get busy with something whenever Shaitan tries to get near from you. try to fast at least two days a week. try to disgust the persons who encourage you to do those bad acts. and we are all here to help you...just keep in touch with us and you can later change your name if you want and start your surfing here normally. so I hope that you will be convinced by all the comments of our brothers and sisters here...and overcome the whispers of the shaitan...

May Allah guide you to the stright path :)

:w:
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Raizins
02-09-2009, 11:31 PM
As salamu3alaikum my dear brother,
Please don't think that killing yourself will be the solution for this test.
That's almost like you're surrendering to some unbeatable monster.
But seriously, the more you want to achieve something, the more sincere you are about getting it accomplished, the easier Allah will make your task inshAllah.
I understand that this is more psychological, and stuff and I'm not smart about this, but please just keep praying to Allah and don't lose hope, Brother. Allah can make anything possible inshAllah. Just put your trust in Him alone.
Tc,
and I'll keep you in my du'as inshAllah.

Ma3esalama.
Reply

syilla
02-10-2009, 04:19 AM
:salamext:

akhee...there is so much in this life other than sex. There is beautiful red flower, the bluest sky, the running around at the park and etc.

Other than trying to think so much on not thinking about it...try to 'act' on it. For example; avoid as much as you can anything that can lead in to inappropriate behaviour.

Go to masjid, listen to khutbah and da'wah, jog everyday, read book and etc.

If you really work on it...i'm sure Allah swt will help you out. Just don't 'think' only about changing... but 'act' on it.

You're in our prayers...InshaAllah.

May Allah make it easy and success in what every we are doing. Ameen...
Reply

north_malaysian
02-10-2009, 04:30 AM
I think that he wanted to kill himself as he believes that he did homosexual stuff with a guy and deserved to be killed... but as nobody can execute him.. he wanted to kill himself...

1st of all, there is an opinion saying that Islamic Laws (especially Hudood) is applicable only the countries which implemented it... For example, a Saudi man could be punished for adultery with 100 lashes if it's done inside Saudi Arabia.. but if he went to USA and acted in a porn movie... even people in Saudi can watch his act, but the adultery charge is not applicable to him as it's being done in a country where Saudi laws is not applicable...

2nd thing, in regards to Sodomy... there are several opinions on it

1) Death penalty (as in Iran)
2) same penalty as zina (heterosexual adultery) - in Malaysia, but the penalty only involves fines or imprisonment
3) ta'zir - the punishments must be lesser than those prescribes under hudood laws..

But committing suicide is the most stupid thing as you commited two sins - homosexual and suicide.
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Whatsthepoint
02-10-2009, 01:36 PM
Ok, my previous advice was deleted, so here's one more in line with the generally accepted morals around here.
Just don't kill yourself..
You can't marry a woman, nor a man for that matter, obviously. What's left is celibate.
You could try the ex-gay thing, but I doubt it actually works.
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Ansariyah
02-10-2009, 02:33 PM
Brother can I ask u a Question,

Did u willingly engage sexually wit the older men u mentioned or were u raped? I have come across some boys who've been raped but think they're gay now, but they're actually not.

Do u know that it's a crime to have sex with a child, u were only 14.

Pls dont kill urself, thats the worst u can do.:(

May Allah guide u ameen.
Reply

Adiva
02-10-2009, 06:33 PM
Salaam..i hope this helps...

Human instincts can be subjected to acts of will. Sexuality is a choice of identity which follows choices of action which follow from choices of what to have sexual fantasies about. Human beings are especially able to control their thoughts, entertaining some and dismissing others.

However, if this free will is not recognised it is easy to get into a cycle of thinking which starts from accepting a hypothesis about yourself as true rather than as a possible choice (even if the options are sometimes difficult).For example: "I am lazy " could be supposed true by someone. When the person who thinks this lies around in bed in the morning he observes this inaction as evidence of the statement "I am lazy." As he repeatedly chooses to do so the evidence mounts and the idea becomes fixed in his identity. It may even have physical manifestations and change his physiology and psychology. This process can easily occur for any idea good or bad about the self which is based largely on evidence resulting from ones own action. The idea may be "I am 'gay'" or "I am content" or "I love eating lots of food". The truth is - you are what you choose to be ; you do what you choose to do ; you think what you choose to think. There may be long time delays between the causing choices and the effects but anyone can change themselves. There are reformed ex-drug addicts, reformed ex-compulsive gamblers and ex-homosexuals. In all these sins prevention is 1000 times better than cure and much easier.

http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/homosexuality.htm
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noorahmad
02-11-2009, 12:55 PM
assalam walaikum
keep yourself busy with Islam, spend every moments you have making dhikr, go to the masjid, hang around with people you know practice Islam.
and being gay is just psychologic, you can change your orientation. If someone was born homo, Allah wouldn't have decreed it haraam.
A 14years old boy, do not know what he's doing, you were innocent at that time. just make tawbah and start a new islamic life
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Sarah9
02-14-2009, 02:37 AM
As-salaamu alaikum, brother.

I wish I knew what to tell you. I'm actually in love with a Muslim man who seems to be bisexual or gay, and it has been breaking my heart for a long time. I have actually been contemplating suicide myself, even though I believe in Allah. The pain I feel at the condition of the one I love often overwhelms me.
I believe that homosexuality is sinful; haraam--suicide also. But, honestly, I don't know what you should do (other than pray--maybe try praying in a new way). I wouldn't advise you to get married...it would seem that your difficult fate is to live life alone.
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noorahmad
02-16-2009, 07:50 PM
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1209357521164
i think this can help you bro
Reply

Zahida
02-16-2009, 09:13 PM
:sl:NO You are worth more than that, think aboout your family and other people instead of being a coward and taking the easy way out, seek help which is readily available for you and learn from it..............

May Allah have Mercy on you and guide you Ameen.

Apologies for being harsh.:w:
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ahmed_indian
03-08-2009, 10:23 AM
PUSH

Pray Until Something Happens

get into spreading Islam...it will help in ur time
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Whatsthepoint
03-08-2009, 01:43 PM
I wonder if he's still alive after 3 weeks?
Anyway, no, you can't.
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