Originally Posted by E.othman
Wa iyak. I agree to a certain extent, but certain people not liking you is not your fault. People can just be mean, or weak in their communication with others. For example, if you did something wrong, they don't correct you and you keep making the same mistakes over and over again without realizing it, but to put 100% blame on yourself is unfair.
Also, you shouldn't dwell on your past so much, because doing that decreases the hope that is needed to move from it. Your childhood cannot be compared to your adulthood. There is more innocence and inexperience involved with childhood that slowly changes every moment that we are alive on this earth. With every responsibility that we are handed, every person that we meet, and even the little tidbits of knowledge that we obtain for ourselves gives us more reason to try to increase our iman because it becomes very sensitive to our surroundings and anything could affect it if we don't hold on.
I mean if you consider your responsibility as a child compared to the responsilbilies you have now, it is incomparable. The more people you meet becomes more of an obligation for you to benefit them some way islamically. If they seem to be more righteous than you, then you must humble yourself and learn from them, and in result you will become closer to Allah bi'idhnillah, but if you don't then you will fall in the traps of shaytan and forget your religious duties. Another example is the variety and quantity of responsibilites you have. If you do them with the right intentions and hold the dhikr of Allah, then you will become closer to Allah, but if you forget your intentions and do things in distaste only for little benefit to your iman and for other reasons you'll find yourself with more than you can handle in states of stress and depression. Just the same, every morsel of knowledge that is obtained, if obtained for the sake of Allah, then you will love the path of knowledge and you will learn and teach others for the sake of Allah, and if not then you will try to attain a status that will mean nothing in the afterlife and be around people who will lead you to no where when you think you're going towards the best that life could give.
Anything that isn't done with the right intention drives even the most knowledgable and pious towards pride and arrogance where they will do things for praise or secular negotiations, and with that their iman decreases and they finally find themselves in a pit, where it would become a necessity to leave their arrogance and seek humbleness again.
Go and find others who are seeking to improve their iman and help them by sharing your knowledge and experience, work with them and help them, we're an ummah brother...and we're not here to look down at each other. Perhaps if you helped someone else, just as your mother strived to help you, you will find your iman increasing, and inshallah even better than it was before. To Allah, a repenting slave is better than a slave who does extra deeds, simply because of his humbled nature. Put aside your work and education during your moments of worship, put aside your worries, don't worry about making friends, because when you have Allah, wallahi you have everything you need in this dunyaa. The more you seek His pleasure, the more you will find every single thing that comes your way pleasurable and a blessing, even the hardest of trials. He LOVES to hear your pleas, so cry to him. He LOVES to grant you your wants, so ask of him! And leave behind everything else that will be of no benefit to you. Increase your knowledge of your deen and you will see the beauty of Islam and you will know how to handle your day to day life inshallah.
fi aman allah