marriage marriage marriage

[yusuf18]

i posted before and i have made my chose im going to get married ive spoken to my local iman and he knws a handful of sisters and ill start meeting them soon my parents have accepted im so glad know.and they will back me {money wise intill i am stable the iman said it is ok becouse im doing it for allahs sake,to all you youngers i would advise you to get married. and also i will exercise my rights and after i marry a sister will marry anthere one whats your opinion on that

[*Yasmin*]

congratulation in advance,if this is ur decision , and u told ur parents so! there is nothing to say
but don't say to my brother i'm afraid he'll start a fight to get married:D

and also i will exercise my rights and after i marry a sister will marry anthere one whats your opinion on that

??:mmokay:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

mashAllah, may Allah bestow upon you a beautiful pious wife who keeps you happy and leads you to jannatul firdaus al-a'la :D

[yusuf18]

mashAllah, may Allah bestow upon you a beautiful pious wife who keeps you happy and leads you to jannatul firdaus al-a'la :D

thank you may allah bless you to brother

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[yusuf18]

congratulation in advance,if this is ur decision , and u told ur parents so! there is nothing to say
but don't say to my brother i'm afraid he'll start a fight to get married:D


??:mmokay:

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

[*Yasmin*]

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

May Allah give you the strength to do that ,and grant you the best wifes
ameen!

noteside: don't tell you're first wife that you intend to marry another one

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

may Allah bestow upon you a dunya full o sabr :uuh:

[yusuf18]

may Allah bestow upon you a dunya full o sabr :uuh:

ameen

[yusuf18]

do women mind if their husband takes on a anthere wife what do you think sisters why shud they mind when allah granted his permishin

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

May Allah grant you the patience to fulfill your intentions.

You should research more about the topic of multiple wives inshallah though because there's a lot to handle :D and if you decide to tell your wife that you have intentions to do this and she's someone who wouldn't support you, then you would need to know how to handle accordingly so that it doesn't seem as hurtful (if that's the correct word here) to her knowing you'd be in love with someone else, so address it in the best islamic way possible, because it's something that's not considered haraam nor is it something that is disliked in Islam, and a lot of sisters let their emotions and cultural values get in the way of what is considered to be halaal and undoubtedly a part of Islam. Just make sure to be fair and kind amongst them, inshallah, cuz there are those bros who take on a load more than they could handle and end up tainting the reputation of polygyny.

fi aman Allah
wa'alaikum asalaam

[glo]

Why not just marry your first wife first, and see how things work out? :?

It can't be exactly encouraging for your wife-to-be to hear all about wife two, three and four before you have even married her ...

[*Yasmin*]

do women mind if their husband takes on a anthere wife what do you think sisters why shud they mind when allah granted his permishin

i don't disagree the permission that Allah swt grants to to men
but it's hard for a woman to accept the fact that her husband will marry another it seems like she is not enough for him, she could'nt please him,like she is not the world for him
plus it's the nature of the woman,for me i can't handle the fact easly that i'll share my husband with another woman!
first i'll feel jealous and angry i guess!

[yusuf18]

i don't disagree the permission that Allah swt grants to to men
but it's hard for a woman to accept the fact that her husband will marry another it seems like she is not enough for him, she could'nt please him,like she is not the world for him
plus it's the nature of the woman,for me i can't handle the fact easly that i'll share my husband with another woman!
first i'll feel jealous and angry i guess!

yea i suppose but if allah give me right ill take it

[Intisar]

do women mind if their husband takes on a anthere wife what do you think sisters why shud they mind when allah granted his permishin

:sl: Erm personally I wouldn't mind if my husband were to marry another wife, he just has to tell me first.

Alhamdulilah akhee, don't jump into things and say that you intend to marry another. Inshaa'Allaah work on getting one wife first and then see how works out, if you can take on another wife, then inshaa'Allaah let your first wife know. Just work on getting married to your first though.

May Allaah grant you a pious wife inshaa'Allaah.

[aminahjaan]

This isn't the end, you haven't found the right one yet, sooo Pray, pray, and....PRAY you find a religious, sweet, and beautiful girl inside and out and that you live happily!
Insha'Allah
:)
I'm happy for you! Let us know when the wedding is bro.

haha btw, one woman is a handful trusssst me.
When there's two they're going to be fighting over you like there's no tomorrow.
This is the 21st century, us girls, we're hard to handle.

[Dawud_uk]

i posted before and i have made my chose im going to get married ive spoken to my local iman and he knws a handful of sisters and ill start meeting them soon my parents have accepted im so glad know.and they will back me {money wise intill i am stable the iman said it is ok becouse im doing it for allahs sake,to all you youngers i would advise you to get married. and also i will exercise my rights and after i marry a sister will marry anthere one whats your opinion on that

mashallah brother, this just goes to show people that things can be sorted out sooner or later if we just apply ourselves to the problem.

marriage isnt always easy but the benefits far outway any small problems along the way.

[sevgi]

do women mind if their husband takes on a anthere wife what do you think sisters why shud they mind when allah granted his permishin

If my husband so as mentioned such a thing, he'd lose me.

[Mikayeel]

:sl:

mashAllah, 4 wifes? May Allah give u alot of strength for that :)

How old r u if u dnt mind me asking?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

do women mind if their husband takes on a anthere wife what do you think sisters why shud they mind when allah granted his permishin

alot of women would, no doubt about it... why does she mind? tell me when you have put yourself in her shoes. how would you feel if she married or simply looked at another man? how would you like it if she shared her heart with another man? that's what kills a women. women are fueled on emotions and feelings, and if these feelings aren't satisfied i.e when they go towards someone else, then it'll hurt her. deeply.

[Banu_Hashim]

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

Steady on... See how this first marriage goes first...:uuh: :D

[AhlaamBella]

Bear in mind bro, it is halaal to take 4 wives. But also allowed for your first wife to divorce you should she get too hurt.

[crayon]

Lol, a thread titled "marriage marriage marriage"... That'll sure get people in here.

May Allah make it easy for you, brother.

and also i will exercise my rights and after i marry a sister will marry anthere one whats your opinion on that

Um.. How about getting married to the first one first, and then deciding on the other 3?:uuh:

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

Dare to dream, brother, dare to dream...:X

^ Really? You mean the wife would be able to utter the divorce words? :><:

Not exactly that, no.. Ever heard of "khulaa'" ?

[crayon]

Yup, that's it. She also has to give back her dowry.

It is possible at all times, but you wouldn't just go do it because your husband forgot to pick up some milk on his way home or something... It's when a woman can no longer stand to be with her husband, or simply no longer wants to, and the husband does not want to divorce her. In that situation, she can make a khulaa' and "divorce him", so to speak.

[halloula]

yes brother allah gave you the right to marry 4 but you have to do justice between them you have to treat all 4 of them equally with no difference and that's really hard to do because you will have feeling for one more than others and we human we cant be equal just Allah is equal . Also allah permitted 4 for a reasons first if your wife cant have kids or can fulfill her duties against you or she is sick and cant please you and the reasons are a lot but if your wife is hamdoulelah doing everything to you and to allah then it's not "permitted" to marry again. and you have to search more in islamic books and sites more about that if you decide to do so.

Now i move on to congratulate you on deciding to get married because that's the right thing that any young man should do to avoid sins.

at the end as a wife i will not be happy if i see my husband with another lady even she's he second wife because i will feel jealous and angry because i'm doing all what i can to please him. And thanks God it's polygamy is forbidden in the country that i live in so my husband cant do that :P

[Ushae]

i intend to marry 4 wives inshallah if allah wills

haha, I appreciate your enthusiam but I can most definately assure you 1 is MORE than enough. Most sisters here can attest to that ;D

Seriously brother, you need a very good financial and emotional abilities to be able to support 4 wives. Imagine how many children you will have with them, then think about feeding them, educating them, entertaining them, teaching them all..

Inshallah you will be joined with a superb wife.

U

[Faseeha]

If my husband so as mentioned such a thing, he'd lose me.

Same here

I wouldn't marry someone who wants more then one wife. I know it's allowed islamically but i personally wouldn't be able to deal with sharing my husband

[sevgi]

Same here

I wouldn't marry someone who wants more then one wife. I know it's allowed islamically but i personally wouldn't be able to deal with sharing my husband

It'd take him a hell of a lot to justify why he wants such a thing in today's day and age.

I think I was asked once if I would consider it incase I couldn't have children...I'd still say no. I'd rather divorce him and be alone or be with someone who loves me regardless of my biological flaw.

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I read the title, i was really interested and had to write something,

However not my topic. imsad

I wouldnt want a second wife at all. I would love my 1st wife too much to go for a second one. I just cant hurt her feelings like that, its so unfair. I know brothers can have 4 wives.

But i think its only when its necessary. Like say we tried everything and still cant have a child :cry: <<< i would still keep only her :D

or

like all the brothers in the country have 1 wife each, and the some sisters are left on their own without spouses:uuh:, and my wife agrees for me to having another wife.


I dont think i could love two wives the same. Its way too hard and really unfair to each of the wives. I can see them getting hurt imsad

Having four wives is a serious commitment. In this day and age, the divorce rate is so high, to find a pious spouse takes sooo long and people struggle all their lives just to keep the one wife happy. How can one deal with four? imsad

Advise: Get the one sister, make her completely fulfullied, and make her the best!

FiAmaaniAllah

[IbnAbdulHakim]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu


I wouldnt want a second wife at all. I would love my 1st wife too much to go for a second one. I just cant hurt her feelings like that, its so unfair. I know brothers can have 4 wives.

But i think its only when its necessary. Like say we tried everything and still cant have a child :cry: <<< i would still keep only her :D

or

like all the brothers in the country have 1 wife each, and the some sisters are left on their own without spouses:uuh:, and my wife agrees for me to having another wife.


I dont think i could love two wives the same. Its way too hard and really unfair to each of the wives. I can see them getting hurt imsad

Having four wives is a serious commitment. In this day and age, the divorce rate is so high, to find a pious spouse takes sooo long and people struggle all their lives just to keep the one wife happy. How can one deal with four? imsad

Advise: Get the one sister, make her completely fulfullied, and make her the best!

FiAmaaniAllah

WHOOOAHHHh brOO YOU JUST CALLED IT UNFAIR :| DANGEROUS WORDS AKHEE DANGEROUS WORDS!!!!!


the kindest bestest most beautiful amazing man EVERY married 9 at one time so sahabi's married 2 or 4 at one time!!! yes its hard, yes it takes amazing sabr, and i must say its ONLY FOR THE BEST OF MUSLIMS!!!!! thats the ONLY reason i would stick to only one because i fear im too much of a weak muslim. but honestly if an orphan girl needed a husband and my first wife agreed i wouldnt hesitate!!!! and that would just make my first wife that much more amazing!!

and remember, women to men ratio is much greater! wmoen need husbands and caretakers!!!



assalamu alaikum

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

^ True. The 'Ulamaa say it is afdhal (more virtueous) to marry two, three or four if one can be just and are able, according to the way the ayah came down. Here's what shaykh ibnu Baaz (rahimahullaah) had to say on the matter:

Taken From The Fatawaa of our Shaykh,
Allaama Mufti of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia Abdul Azeez bin Abdullaah Bin Baaz

Translated by

Abbas Abu Yahya


Question: is having more than one wife something permissible in Islaam or is it the Sunnah?



The Answer: Having more than one wife is the Sunnah if you have ability to do so due to the saying of Allaah The most high:

Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice

[Soorah an-Nisa:3]

And also due to the action of the Prophet - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – he had altogether nine women and Allaah made it a means for the Ummah to have benefited from them.



This is from the distinguished characteristics of the Messenger - sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam, as for other than him then it is not allowed to combine more than four.



As for having more than one wife then there are great benefits for men, women and all the Muslim Ummah. Indeed what is achieved/beneficial for everyone, by having more than one wife is lowering ones gaze, protection for the private parts, increase in offspring, that a man can look after the benefits of a large number of women and can defend them from causes of evil and deviances.



As for the one who is incapable of doing this and fears that he will not be just between them, then he should suffice with one due to the saying of Allaah Subhana:

But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one

[Soorah an-Nisa:3]

May Allaah give all the Muslims that which there is benefit for them and success for them in this world and the Hereafter.



[al-Balaag magazine no.1028]






All Praise belongs to Allaah, may His peace and blessings be upon our final Prophet Muhammad, his family, his Companions and all those who follow his guidance.

However, I really would stress that you think about such things, after getting married to one. After all, the ayah does state: فَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تَعۡدِلُواْ فَوَٲحِدَةً
'...If you cannot be just, then (marry only) one...'

How will you know what kind of husband you will be, when you haven't even married one? Some husbands are extremely kind and just to their wife, yet they don't want to remarry for fear that they will not be just. What can we say about those who do not give their rights to their wife, yet are still eager to marry more? If you cannot fulfill the right of one wife, why look for more to answer for on the day of Judgement?

[Najm]

WHOOOAHHHh brOO YOU JUST CALLED IT UNFAIR :| DANGEROUS WORDS AKHEE DANGEROUS WORDS!!!!!


the kindest bestest most beautiful amazing man EVERY married 9 at one time so sahabi's married 2 or 4 at one time!!! yes its hard, yes it takes amazing sabr, and i must say its ONLY FOR THE BEST OF MUSLIMS!!!!! thats the ONLY reason i would stick to only one because i fear im too much of a weak muslim. but honestly if an orphan girl needed a husband and my first wife agreed i wouldnt hesitate!!!! and that would just make my first wife that much more amazing!!

and remember, women to men ratio is much greater! wmoen need husbands and caretakers!!!



assalamu alaikum

WalaikumAsSalam WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Akhi i was speaking in the general sense. And also gave 2 examples, and i am sure there are many others. The example with the orphan girl you gave, i agree with you. But rather than me marrying myself( if im married), i would first find another brother who hasnt married, and offer her to him. Share the love. :embarrass SubhaanAllah!

It doesnt make sense for me to have a wife, and then go looking for another, while there are so many brothers out there looking for sisters.

And the term i used for "unfair", dependant on the situation, and i simply generalised, and spoke about myself. I cant see myself being fair to two wives. Furthermore, there must a purpose to the second, third, or forth marriages. You cant just say, "its halal to have 4 wives, so lets do it". imsad

On speaking about Our Prophet (SalAlllahu Alayhi WaSalam),He did just marry and random person, He got married dependant on the situation too, i.e. commandant, orphan, divorced, widowed, legal, protection etc. Marriage serves many reasons, not just the fact of "having four wives". SubhaanAllah

I agree with my previous post. Alhamdulillah.

Forgive me, for saying anything incorrect or wrong. Astaghfirullah. Allahu Alim

FiAmaaniAllah

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatallahi wa barakatuhu

;D This thread is funny.

Anyways, just to clarify, being just doesn't have anything to do with the matters of the heart. Allah did not order for any man to divide his heart amongst his women, but to be fair amongst them, which also doesn't mean to be 'equal' since one woman may have more children or may need other requirementsduring the course of the marriage.

Also, because this is something that is considered to be sunnah, I wouldn't necessarily ward off any brother from practicing this sunnah as long as he practices it properly. The emotions of a woman do exist, but if he is doing everything right, then as a believer of Islam she should not hold her emotions against him. There are many polygyny marriages where the wives have been jealous of each other at first, but ended up being best friends and close sisters in a matter of a couple of months, so there is no doubt that personal emotions can be subdued or put aside completely even, and this is considerably a greater benefit for her since she will receive a lot of rewards bi'idhnillahi wa ta'ala.

But as said previously, it is best to search within the matters of polygyny marriage and perhaps to even talk to some brothers who are already experienced with such marriages as it may give a better insight to what life will be like. I think it is also best to discuss this with the future wife as well, and see her views because there may be that chance where she will definitely not want to have to deal with this under any circumstances, and she would want a divorce. Also, who knows, intentions may change after the first wife and she may fulfil every need, wa allahu a'lem.

Inshallah khair, if the bro can handle it well, then may allah reward him for his perseverance, because truly only the best of the mu'mineen will be able to carry such responsibilities on their backs without breaking it, and still consider it a blessing each step of the way.

fi aman Allah
wa'alaikum asalaam

[Faseeha]

It'd take him a hell of a lot to justify why he wants such a thing in today's day and age.

Even in today's day and age there are plenty of men out there who want that.

I think I was asked once if I would consider it incase I couldn't have children...I'd still say no. I'd rather divorce him and be alone or be with someone who loves me regardless of my biological flaw.

And if he loves you then there's other options like adoption

Again I'm not disputing the fact that it is permissible,I acknowledge that. I know there are plenty of women out there who wouldn't mind sharing their husband's, I am just not one of them. If after loving and caring for my husband and doing everything to keep him happy, him getting another wife would be a betrayal to me. I'd make it quite clear to him before the marriage that if he were to take another wife, i would want a divorce.

[ghengis]

wow.... i wish my girl was like you :)

[Faseeha]

wow.... i wish my girl was like you :)

What do you mean?

[Mikayeel]

:threadclo

:sl:

This is turning a bit into a matchmaking thread, mild flirting happening.

Lets make dua for the brother to get the strength/time/money to take care of 4 women if he sincerely intends to marry 4.

If anyone wants this thread reopened(with good reason) or want to post an important comment plz pm me :)

:w: