No, I don't believe in love before marriage...and no, I am not a pessimist:)
Western culture has totally changed the meaning of what
Real love is; and they make it,at times, seem like something totally unrealistic. The "love" you see in movies is, in real life, simple infatuation, which fades after a day or a month or a year.
Real love,and I mean
love as in a bond, as in, you truly cannot imagine yourself without this person, and you care for them as much as you care about your own person, comes with,(and I will never repeat this enough!)
TIME.
You need to go through hardships and have that person stand next to you, and support you. You need to experience ultimate joys with this person. You need to understand them and know them, know what their like when their angry,upset,happy... this is real,true love..when you truly feel that this person is your second-half..and I'm not saying that everyone who gets married will have that person. Actually, I think its pretty rare to have such a love. You might like the person you are married to/find them attractive, but to truly feel that certain...*special* bond,well, you'll simply know whether you have "it" or not with time:)
format_quote Originally Posted by
AnonymousGender
The first post should read:
What if you are engaged but do not feel you fully love the person? Would you go through with it in the hope that love will grow or do you end it?
I would learn to get to know the person better, see if I can imagine myself with this person for the rest of my life. Marriage is not simply knowing his/her traits superficially(i.e being told that he/she is smart, funny, patient) you need to round up you're own opinion of this person by getting to know them better. That's what getting engaged is for. If you feel like you are comfortable with this person, and that they would make a good father/mother/life partner, and hold Islam dear in their hearts, then yeah, totally go for it. Don't expect that "infatuation" to be there, and if it IS there, check your decisions twice, because your real judgement might be blurred by it.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, see if your potential spouse has a true love for his deen and understands it. I once heard
" If a man fears Allah(swt), then you do not have to fear him."
Completly true. if a man truly fear Allah(swt), then he will, Insh'Allah, be good to you.