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jaanjaan1982
02-23-2009, 06:54 PM
:sl:
I just like the views on this subject.


Why is it because someone is fat/large/big is defined as someone you cant/wont marry?:uuh:



Id like the views from all cultures/religions

p.s could we please leave the fat jokes out?

:w:
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The Ruler
02-23-2009, 07:02 PM
From my point of view, a fat man = stinky breath. No offense intended. I, perhaps, see far too many pot-bellied, beer drinking, pee-like smelling men on the street.

EDIT: I'm aware that your title is referring to females. But since your post is gender neutral, I thought why not give my opinion too. Oh, and if I think of fat females, all I can think of are fat jokes. Yet again, no offense intended. I don't particularly count myself as anorexic.
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chacha_jalebi
02-23-2009, 07:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by jaanjaan1982
:sl:
I just like the views on this subject.


Why is it because someone is fat/large/big is defined as someone you cant/wont marry?:uuh:



Id like the views from all cultures/religions

p.s could we please leave the fat jokes out?

:w:
depends on what you mean by fat, too yourself you might be fat, but to someone else you might be a stick,

if your talkin about them people that everyone agrees are fat, then i dont think its everyone that thinks like that, we all believe true beauty comes from the inside and in my case inside and outside:D :p but yes :shade: if someone aint marryin someone because of their weight, it could be a vareity of reasons, because quite a lot of times like sister the ruler, said bein fat brings quite a lot of negative connotations with it, but im sure 100000 million percent that, not everyone thinks omg he/she is fat, they are un marriage-able, like i know loads of people they are stickss and their wifes are mashallah well fed :D so again marriage should and depend on deen and then compatibility like looks and personality and thins
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Re.TiReD
02-23-2009, 07:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by jaanjaan1982


Why is it because someone is fat/large/big is defined as someone you cant/wont marry?:uuh:





:w:
Wa'alaykum salam

I dont know, but it shouldnt be like that.

Ask yourself, who defines beauty? And what is it? If its the media's image of size 6 anorexic women then I'm sorry but that aint beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

WassalamuAlaykum
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Muhammad
02-23-2009, 07:25 PM
:sl:

Being fat has its own stereotypes associated with it - I guess people tend to blame the individual for being fat. However, there could be other factors involved such as genes and psychology. So as with everything else, overcoming stereotypes would lead to much better understanding and cohesion in society. I also agree with brother chacha jalebi, that it is our inside that is more important than our outside; people can't help their appearances, yet it is our character that shows who we really are.
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Vito
02-24-2009, 04:21 AM
Discriminating is bad. Period. And besides, I've seen thick women get thin and thin women get fat, so if you get married based on looks alone, you might be in for a surprise.
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Amat Allah
02-24-2009, 04:56 AM
I don`t care about the others appearances, they r all human beings after all and never rejecting someone coz he is fat , slim , black , white , tall , short , hairy or blad the most important that he fears Allah and respect him self and the others feelings..he is fat yes but u don`t know what he is to Allah...^^

may Allah accept us and be pleased with us Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeen
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saba muslimah
02-24-2009, 06:26 AM
EDIT: I'm aware that your title is referring to females. But since your post is gender neutral, I thought why not give my opinion too. Oh, and if I think of fat females, all I can think of are fat jokes. Yet again, no offense intended. I don't particularly count myself as anorexic
hhmm same here??..well my opinion iabout it ...first we have to look our self & then v clame to other ppl personalities either he/she black or white..

Allah's prophet (S.a.w.w) said; "Islam main Kisi Kaaley ko Gorey per or gorey ko kaley per koi foqeyat hasil nahi..."
m i right
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crayon
02-24-2009, 09:44 AM
It's because "fat" (i use the term loosely, anyone without their bones poking out is considered fat nowadays) people don't fit in with the ideal image of beauty nowadays.
Everyone wants to marry someone beautiful, fat people are not considered beautiful, so a lot of people stay away from them.

Is this fair, is it acceptable, is it right? No. BUT we have to keep in mind that you must be attracted to the person you marry. While some people are attracted to thin people, there are also people who appreciate big men and women. So you can't expect everyone to want to marry someone big, but there are people out there that do.

And anyway, like the brothers above said, while the outside does matter, the inside matters more, unless you're someone shallow with an unrealistic concept of beauty.
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Al-Zaara
02-24-2009, 09:56 AM
I agree with crayon here, it is unfair to view larger people as "unattractive" and make them seem worthless, which they naturally are not.

But keep in mind, a healthy diet shows in the outside and a healthy lifestyle. Fatness and overweight is often what is caused due to bad diet and a bad lifestyle, too little excercise, eating the wrong foods etc.
Fatness and great overweight causes many diseases which you could be spared if you did live a more healthy lifestyle. Though of course, many do have overweight-problems due to genetical reasons and such, you can't blame it all on their lifestyle or diet, I agree.

But I speak generally and your body does show on the outside if there is something "not right". Humans are not meant to be too much overweight, it will disturb you when you work, you get more tired, when you eat and what, your heart etc. These problems can be spared if you keep your weight more in check.

Needless to say, it does NOT lower your worth as a human being with feelings and worth and value. That would be a load of nonsense.
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Hafswa
02-24-2009, 10:15 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kai85
Discriminating is bad. Period. And besides, I've seen thick women get thin and thin women get fat, so if you get married based on looks alone, you might be in for a surprise.
LOL....this is very true.
Don't waste your time trying to fit into the standards that this world has set...be youself and love yourself .
I too am on the hippy :Dthicker :p side of life but I love my body.

Someone once said:
The beauty of a woman is like a flower, it just is.....It does not have to bend over, break a leg during aerobics:D or starve for it to catch an eye. Like the flower, it stands there waiting, enticing the beholder....it just is.

Be yourself( character wise), confident and beautiful and for sure, the beholder will recognize :shade: and soon who knows....you might just be confirming something that a suitor already saw in you....
Reply

NazariteofEhyah
02-24-2009, 10:21 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by jaanjaan1982
:sl:
I just like the views on this subject.


Why is it because someone is fat/large/big is defined as someone you cant/wont marry?:uuh:



Id like the views from all cultures/religions

p.s could we please leave the fat jokes out?

:w:
There's no such predescribed opinions. However, it doe's mean that the people they attract differ.
Reply

anonymous
02-24-2009, 10:35 AM
funny how mostly females replied to this thread - stereotypical brothers! open your mouth lol
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aamirsaab
02-24-2009, 10:45 AM
:sl:
Fat people don't look attractive. Just as skinny people don't look attractive.

It's all pscyhological, so don't give me no hate, acha!
Reply

Pomak
02-24-2009, 11:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by jaanjaan1982
:sl:
I just like the views on this subject.


Why is it because someone is fat/large/big is defined as someone you cant/wont marry?:uuh:



Id like the views from all cultures/religions

p.s could we please leave the fat jokes out?

:w:
I'd say most people have a "that is way too fat for me" impulse. Imo its relative. One person's "fat" will be fine to another person.
Reply

sevgi
02-24-2009, 11:15 AM
Firstly, some guys just aren't attracted to girls who aren't slim. Would you marry someone you aren't attracted to? I wouldn't. And I wouldn't expect them to lose weight for me either.

Secondly, if a guy is slim, he would naturally want a girl who looks good next to him. I mean, it might be shallow, but it's a personality thing and you can't abuse them for it. If you want your wife to look physically suitable to you in the weight perspective, then so be it.

However, if there is a sister or brother who is absofriggenlutely amazing and you think he/she is the one for you yet you turn around and say..."...but he/she is fat"...then you're an idiot.

You can change your weight but you can't change who you are. That amazing person could lose that weight but you who is so shallow is uglier than the chubby person. (you= general)

Ws.
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S_87
02-24-2009, 11:51 AM
some men actually like a more curved woman :? but as for fatness it depends, a fat gut isnt exactly attractive on a man or a woman...
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saba muslimah
02-24-2009, 11:53 AM
Yeap dear sis sevgi
its fact n general thing we attract slim n smart coOOooooOllLLL personality first..
but some times i saw very unmatchd couples...n mostly ppl call them. Oh LOve Is Blind"
:-)
uhhh..!
Reply

sevgi
02-24-2009, 11:56 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by saba muslimah
Yeap dear sis sevgi
its fact n general thing we attract slim n smart coOOooooOllLLL personality first..
but some times i saw very unmatchd couples...n mostly ppl call them. Oh LOve Is Blind"
:-)
uhhh..!
Yes, love is blind...as it should be...but sometimes some people won't let themselves be blinded by love coz they are blinded by their egos.

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Alhamdulillah. So it doesn't matter if you are fat or slim...as long as the one who is meant to look at you and love you, loves you.
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MinAhlilHadeeth
02-24-2009, 12:16 PM
:salamext:

I think it's all really relative to what that society sees as desirable. Living in a society where supermodels, and celebrities in general portray what we should look like, it's only expected that most people are not likely to find the polar opposite attractive.

However, when my husband was in Yemen, he noticed that a lot of men found very large women attractive, and felt this was what was most attractive. Perhaps because it's a very poor country, and therefore being large signifies having money? Allaahu A'lam, I don't know why. But different societies have different norms, values and perceptions.

But although many brothers in the West may not find large sisters as the most attractive, I'm sure there are plenty of brothers who would overlook that if they really liked what they saw on the inside. Also, weight is not the only thing that can define beauty. A large sister may have other attractive features, as well as having the potential to lose that weight. So Allaahu A'lam.
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julie sarri
02-24-2009, 12:41 PM
I have always been large since childhood when i met my husband i was large when we married i was the same and 13 years later i am still the same i did lose weight but he said he didn't want me to lose so much weight becouse to him i looked fine the way i was i did however lose weight for health reasons.many people think that when you are fat that's a big flaw but what about the two people who are so good looking who marry well no one is perfect but Allah [swt]you could look good on the outside but what about their inside by this i mean deen. even the good looking muslims of the world can have flaws
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noorseeker
02-24-2009, 06:52 PM
They say bigger people have realy nice personalities, i you know what they do, their so bubbly,

Lots of guys are attracted to bigger girls, more than the other way round.

End of the day you can change your weight, but not your looks,

i would recommend any one overweight to lose some weight, not because for vanity reasons, but for health reasons.
Reply

-Elle-
02-24-2009, 07:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nightstar
Lots of guys are attracted to bigger girls, more than the other way round.
Really? I would've thought it was the other way around...since excess weight looks better on a guy(a man is naturally meant to be more...erm.."big".)Anyway,even though I have a good weight(AlhamdulillAh) I wouldn't care if my future husband was chubby; who cares what he/she looks like next to you to other people? The important thing is that this person makes you happy.




format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
It's because "fat" (i use the term loosely, anyone without their bones poking out is considered fat nowadays) people don't fit in with the ideal image of beauty nowadays.
Everyone wants to marry someone beautiful, fat people are not considered beautiful, so a lot of people stay away from them.

Is this fair, is it acceptable, is it right? No. BUT we have to keep in mind that you must be attracted to the person you marry. While some people are attracted to thin people, there are also people who appreciate big men and women. So you can't expect everyone to want to marry someone big, but there are people out there that do.

And anyway, like the brothers above said, while the outside does matter, the inside matters more, unless you're someone shallow with an unrealistic concept of beauty.

Agreed. Well said.


Personally, if I HAD to choose, I would prefer my *future* partner to be chubby rather than skinny. It's a personal preference, and it annoys me when people find that ridiculously strange. Anyway, this just goes to show you that some people would prefer a bit more weight than a thin person, and actually find that more attractive!

Sometimes, its a person's culture that affects their views of "what is attractive". Stereotypes of what beauty is truly affects one's perception,without us even realising it.

best thing to do is ignore other people's ideas and theories of beauty, and simply decide what you find attractive.
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Zahida
02-24-2009, 08:50 PM
:sl: In my opinion it is just discrimination, what about peoples genetics and metabolism?????????????

Putting that aside, the gaura log say that before you marry a woman take a good look at her mother.................. He he he very funny....:thankyou:
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Güven
02-24-2009, 08:55 PM
:sl:

Everyone has its own... taste
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Zahida
02-24-2009, 08:59 PM
:sl: Lol bro!!!!! Sounds ike you are talking about chocolate.......... that should be everyone has their own taste:w::smile:
format_quote Originally Posted by Güven
:sl:

Everyone has its own... taste
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Güven
02-24-2009, 09:02 PM
ooops sorry about that lol ...isnt that the same btw ? :D


ok Everybody has their own... taste.
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Zahida
02-24-2009, 09:12 PM
:sl:Lol brother i was only having a laugh!!!:embarrass Who am i to correct you????? Hehehe so do you , compare women with chocolates???? :w::smile:
format_quote Originally Posted by Güven
ooops sorry about that lol ...isnt that the same btw ? :D


ok Everybody has their own... taste.
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noorahmad
02-24-2009, 09:22 PM
beauty lies in the eyes of the lover. ( dunno where i heard that)
i guess its true, but personally i would prefer a woman who exercises regularly, and someone i can grow old with peacefully
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noorahmad
02-24-2009, 09:23 PM
beauty lies in the eyes of the lover. ( dunno where i heard that)
i guess its true, but personally i would prefer a woman who exercises regularly, and someone i can grow old with peacefully
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Zahida
02-24-2009, 09:31 PM
:sl:You made your point........Lol!!! Not picky or choosy then are we>>>>>>>>>>>>>?????? Sorry am in abit of a silly sarcasm type mood today:embarrass I think i will log off now...........:w::peace:
format_quote Originally Posted by noorahmad
beauty lies in the eyes of the lover. ( dunno where i heard that)
i guess its true, but personally i would prefer a woman who exercises regularly, and someone i can grow old with peacefully
Reply

Mr. Baldy
02-24-2009, 09:46 PM
Why is it people say it's whats on the fat is what counts? I'm no surgeon but isn't the inside of a person pretty disgusting? If people mean the mind/personality of a person THEN WHY DON'T THEY FLIPPING WELL SAY IT!

Personally appearance isn't too much of a turn off for me, unless she has spincah coming out her teeth a moustache, gangrene and what not... in short if she doesn't make an effort then that is a turn off. That works both ways.
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Banu_Hashim
02-24-2009, 10:33 PM
^^ I agree. I think the muslimah has to make some kind of effort for there to be some level of attraction.
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Zahida
02-25-2009, 09:49 PM
:sl: ^^^^^^^^ men too................:D:w:
format_quote Originally Posted by Banu_Hashim
^^ I agree. I think the muslimah has to make some kind of effort for there to be some level of attraction.
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Muezzin
02-25-2009, 09:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aamirsaab
:sl:
Fat people don't look attractive to certain people. Just as skinny people don't look attractive to certain people.
Fixed.
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