View Full Version : is it rude?
Ummu Sufyaan
02-26-2009, 08:47 AM
:sl:
do you think its rude for nieces and nephews NOT to call their parents siblings by uncle/auntie. i.e by thier first names only...
or do you think it depends on what the uncle/auntie think---> if they think its rude then it is, and vise versa
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crayon
02-26-2009, 09:41 AM
Depends on whether the aunt/uncle/older person mind or not.
I have an aunt that gets mad at me when I don't call her by her first name.
And then there are others I would only ever call auntie, or uncle.
So it depends on the person.
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Tilmeez
02-26-2009, 09:46 AM
^ Agree.
Depends. My younger brother is 20 and my daughter 5 calls him Bhai (Brother :) )
Also she calls her aunt (my brother's wife) with her first name.
Edit: I call my mom "Aami" so do my Daughter. (She call her own mom Mama :) )
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Far7an
02-26-2009, 10:07 AM
Parents/Aunties/Uncles.. should not be called by name. Whether they mind or not, I consider it very rude.
Older siblings, different matter. Most cases it's ok to call by name.
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crayon
02-26-2009, 10:40 AM
I can't remember where I heard this, but I've heard that it's haram for one to call their parents by their first name, that it's disrespectful.. Not sure if it's an islamic thing or a cultural thing.
And of course, by default all older people should be called with their title (mom, aunt, grandpa, mr.whatever, etc.), but if they ask they not be called that, then I don't see anything wrong with using their names.
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Soulja Girl
02-26-2009, 10:57 AM
:sl:
Well of course it iz... Aunts and uncles should be respected! =)
:w:
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as bro farhan said, for siblings ok but otherwise its not really respectful
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justahumane
02-26-2009, 12:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
zÂk
I agree. My vote for the first option.
I too.
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aamirsaab
02-26-2009, 12:50 PM
:sl:
If you're pakistani, you call anyone older than you uncle/bhai or auntie/bhaji. If you don't, well you just won't get any bunties. And maybe a slipper in the face.
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Far7an
02-26-2009, 01:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
aamirsaab
:sl:
If you're pakistani, you call anyone older than you uncle/bhai or auntie/bhaji. If you don't, well you just won't get any bunties. And maybe a slipper in the face.
How often has Muezzin given you a thapar?!
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aamirsaab
02-26-2009, 02:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Far7an
How often has Muezzin given you a thapar?!
I think he gave me one last week. He tends to laugh and run after getting one in, regardless if I call him bhai or not. Come to think of it, I owe him one back.
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sevgi
02-26-2009, 02:34 PM
Salams,
I agree with all those who think it is rude.
Unless there is a situation where the elder asks not to be called by anything besides their name, elders should be called by their respective pronouns.
I'm actually quite picky with stuff like this. I don't know why.
Opted for first.
Ws.
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Ummu Sufyaan
02-27-2009, 06:53 AM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by
amani
as bro farhan said, for siblings ok but otherwise its not really respectful
thats interesting. what else do you call your older siblings by other than their first names...
format_quote Originally Posted by
crayon
I have an aunt that gets mad at me when I don't call her by her first name.
same with me. i mean for some of my neices adn nephews i like them to call me by my first name, cos calling me auntie... makes me feel like a grandma :-[ :p
but what if the niece or nephew is closer to you in
age. i mean most of my nieces and nephews are only a few years younger than me, so they feel like my younger siblings more than anything, and thats why i dont mind...but if i were a bit older, then i would think it were rude to call me by my first name...does that make a difference to you people?
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Malaikah
02-27-2009, 07:29 AM
^I agree. If the nieces and nephews are very close in age I don't see a problem with using first names.
But for older aunts and uncles it disrespectful (at least in my culture anyway).
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Sahabiyaat
02-27-2009, 02:41 PM
my aunt is a year younger than me, and i got reprimanded for calling her by her first name because i thought it was ok, since i was the elder one here!
But elders, i agree, should never be called by their name, except like it has been said, in the case of siblings, but even then youngsters should be taught respect for their elder brothers and sisters, from an early age.
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Faseeha
02-27-2009, 04:08 PM
:sl:
My eldest nephew is six years younger then I am, and the youngest 2.
The ones over 7 refer to me by my name because at the time that they learnt to talk i was quite young and insisted on that. The ones under 7 say Khala or Fooi (i think that's how its spelt) after my name, and it doesn't sound too bad so i allow it.
When i refer to people much older then me, I call them either aunty or uncle.
Respect is definitely important, but i guess if there isn't a huge age gap, say under ten years, and the elder doesn't mind being called by their name then its ok
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Al-Zaara
02-27-2009, 05:17 PM
I know I say auntie and uncle. When I talk to my parents at home about my uncles or aunties, I tend to slip at times and just use their names. But I can't remember doing so when they are around.
But in the end, maybe in their families they are used not to use the titles, so who cares, you do how you feel best for yourself.
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The Ruler
02-27-2009, 10:52 PM
If it were upto me, I'd prefer names. But because culture is a barrier, I'm stuck with aunt/uncle.
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Green_shoes
02-27-2009, 11:01 PM
I think it depends, my mum has cousins who are my age(this sort of makes them my aunt or uncle) i cant see myself calling them uncle or auntie, just sounds weird
i also think it depends on the relationship between you and them although i do call most people older than me(who could be a parent to me) auntie or uncle.
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You know, I have two nieces and two nephews and they have never called me aunt.. well my latest nephew is too young to speak yet, but nonetheless.. it does upset me sometimes.. but when they were born I was young, and when they spoke their first words it is sort of difficult for them to put a prefix before a name.. but now that they have gotten older, I think it is more habit than anything..
I don't know --it is rude and kinda disrespectful .. but at the same time, I have a much closer relationship to all of them than I had with my aunts and uncles.. so I suppose that is the upside..
:w:
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BlissfullyJaded
02-28-2009, 03:24 AM
:sl:
Personally, I wouldn't care if I had nieces and nephews and they didn't call me aunty... They'd call me aunty anyway tho, cuz somehow I can't see my siblings letting their kids get away with that. lol. :ermm: I see how others think it's disrespectful, but for myself nah...
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Yanal
02-28-2009, 04:07 AM
:salamext:It depends on the personaility of the uncle or auntie being called,it would show respect if they did but if they didn't it might show affection between say nephew and uncle. Example(for respecting):John: Hi uncle
Uncle:Hi...
But if they're chill here:
John:Sup will
Will:Sup nephew or should I say john
John:call me join willy
.I wonder what the prophet would say?
They should ask before calling them with their name.
Yes that is a respected answer.
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Woodrow
02-28-2009, 04:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
do you think its rude for nieces and nephews NOT to call their parents siblings by uncle/auntie. i.e by thier first names only...
or do you think it depends on what the uncle/auntie think---> if they think its rude then it is, and vise versa
Also you need to look at the age differences. I had an aunt that was about 10 years younger then me. It would have been awkward to call her Aunt, and possibly embarrassing if I called her auntie when she was a teenager.
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Banu_Hashim
03-07-2009, 10:43 PM
I used to call one of my aunts who is only 7 years older than me; "Baji" (sister). But then my mum got us to call her "chote khala" (small auntie) instead...
I voted 'yes' btw...
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Ansariyah
03-07-2009, 10:52 PM
It's not always rude, it depends. Like I have an auntie who is young, she wont let me call her 'auntie'...she thinks it makes her seem old lol. Wateva makes her happy!
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KashifB
03-07-2009, 11:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
aamirsaab
:sl:
If you're pakistani, you call anyone older than you uncle/bhai or auntie/bhaji. If you don't, well you just won't get any bunties. And maybe a slipper in the face.
And if you have two older brothers or sisters, you call them barey bhai/ chotey bhai, bari baji/ choti baji. And if you have three or more, you use their first name after bhai or baji ie. bhai Kashif. :smile:
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Amat Allah
03-08-2009, 01:28 AM
Personally, I wouldn't care if I had nieces and nephews and they didn't call me aunty... They'd call me aunty anyway tho, cuz somehow I can't see my siblings letting their kids get away with that. lol. :ermm: I see how others think it's disrespectful, but for myself nah...
the same for me...:smile:
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