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asad1
03-17-2009, 06:36 PM
I'm 17 and pretty sure I'm gay. I really don't know what to do as I've tried 'turning straight' but it doesn't work for me. No one knows I'm gay and my parents are strict Muslims. I don't want to lead a false life and I get the impression other Muslims don't understand I didn't choose to be like this and I can't change it either.
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Uthman
03-17-2009, 07:16 PM
:sl:

This might be a strange and awkward question, but is your homosexuality just limited to thoughts and feelings or do you practise it as well?
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 07:40 PM
you're pretty sure you're gay? how pretty sure? and how did you come to that decision?
anyway, it's a psychological issue mostly, you can be gay then not gay and vice versa, meaning it's a CHOICE.
having a strong relationship with another is not gay, it's natural, only there is much prevalent hypocrisy when it comes to 'gayness' in the west especially, it's a major insult, and people try to avoid even holding hands and hugging so as not to be considered as such, but come the media and everyone is pretending to be tolerant and whatnot.
perhaps you're 'gay' because of some show or a few words someone told you, if so, don't be so frail, being a man means being attracted to women-atleast when you are in your youth, prime.
this is somewhat chauvinistic, but true nonetheless.
it doesn't serve any function other than satisfying some twisted desire, don't let whatever/whomever it was control you to such an extent, being human meant giving up pleasure for it's own sake in many regards..
if you've never 'had' a woman before, how do you know what you like or don't, I'm assuming here that you never 'did' anything yet. if so, good, keep not doing anything, and then get married when you are ready, I remember being 17, not so long ago actually, I had a maelstrom of ideas and emotions just like any other teen, this is good, it means you are maturing and creating your own personality, but try not to get too far with it,,

if it's really hard to let go of, accept it then let it go, meaning don't dwell on it too much, don't actively try to not think about it either, it's a phase and it passes.
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asad1
03-17-2009, 08:28 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm gay...I wish I was straight...but I'm not. I've never felt attracted to women and have tried to feel 'attracted' but it's just not happening. I like guys both sexually and emotionally and can't help that. I just don't know what to do and I'm really confused.
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asad1
03-17-2009, 08:42 PM
So what you're saying is, it's ok for me to be gay...but in practice I'm not allowed to do anything Gay e.g. have a boyfriend?

You think I should get married to a woman, even though I'd never truly love her, plus live a false life?
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asad1
03-17-2009, 08:58 PM
I think it is biological..I didn't choose to be like this. IF it was an option, wouldn't I be straight? Why would I choose a hard life?

I'm in the UK so yes there is counselling but I think I'd rather not. I'm just not sure what I want in the long term...
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:11 PM
hmm, if you wish to see that way, then sure, yes that is what I meant.
false/true, good/bad, these dichotomies are not all there is to life, I was saying on a simpler note, that there is NO such thing as gay, bi or straight.
all there 'is', is a human with some carnal desire, going through periods of need/lust, that needs to be satisfied, anything would do the trick at that,'love' is based on physical attraction, besides how do you know women are so bad and it's never going to work no matter what happens? this is a fatalist attitude, not so healthy on the long run.
just as you 'came to be' gay, you can come to be not gay, breaking taboos is somehow exciting, but to claim it would be a false life full of misery with no truth etc etc, this is just talk brother asad1, nothing more.
truth is, you can do whatever you want, and you should at that most of the time, but sure are you it is you who made the choice of being 'gay',,
now, since you have been quite open and came out with all of it, let me share something myself, you remind me of myself a few years ago, i also had an issue like you did, well not exactly but close enough, I accepted it as it was, and it's not an issue any more.
I didn't suppress or deny it, rather I accepted that indeed I did entertain a thought that was 'gay', and I do understand how some can view it as not so bad, but then that was it, I never disliked women, or felt the need to do something, and you don't either, it is a choice, regardless of how you convince yourself it isn't. in my case it was mostly my surrounding culture, most likely it is the same for you too, otherwise it wouldn't exist. don't buy into the 'it's normal/natural' bull, if all that humans or the rest of the animal kingdom did were natural, then what is the point of calling things natural or not,,

P.S kaafir, pretending not to be biased is mostly known as hypocrisy..
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asad1
03-17-2009, 09:13 PM
Kafir again thanks...you're right about the marriage thing...I don't know if I'd be able to cope. I've known I'm gay for a long time now but it's only starting to depress me now..
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The Ruler
03-17-2009, 09:15 PM
I wasn't aware of the fact that homosexuality was biological. By biological do you mean hereditary?
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asad1
03-17-2009, 09:18 PM
Alcurad you don't seem to understand my problem.

I DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS!!! Please just try to understand that. This isn't a phase..I know I am Gay..you're just trying to get the positive out of a horrific situation.
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AntiKarateKid
03-17-2009, 09:20 PM
Originally Posted by asad1
Alcurad you don't seem to understand my problem.

I DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS!!! Please just try to understand that. This isn't a phase..I know I am Gay..you're just trying to get the positive out of a horrific situation.
Excuse me but that is something you just tell yourself to make you feel better.


Brother, a man can be born with alcoholic tendencies, strong ones at that, but it is his duty to overcome them.

Name me the gene that causes people to be gay..... there is none. It may give you a tendency but the choice to follow it is with you. You have been given a test, rise up to it.


May Allah guide you.
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:21 PM
no, I'd say you're the one who doesn't.
let me ask you again, how did you 'know' you were gay?
it is a choice, thoughts come and go, we choose to keep and enforce them,,
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Whatsthepoint
03-17-2009, 09:22 PM
Originally Posted by alcurad
hmm, if you wish to see that way, then sure, yes that is what I meant.
false/true, good/bad, these dichotomies are not all there is to life, I was saying on a simpler note, that there is NO such thing as gay, bi or straight.
all there 'is', is a human with some carnal desire, going through periods of need/lust, that needs to be satisfied, anything would do the trick at that,'love' is based on physical attraction, besides how do you know women are so bad and it's never going to work no matter what happens? this is a fatalist attitude, not so healthy on the long run.
just as you 'came to be' gay, you can come to be not gay, breaking taboos is somehow exciting, but to claim it would be a false life full of misery with no truth etc etc, this is just talk brother asad1, nothing more.
truth is, you can do whatever you want, and you should at that most of the time, but sure are you it is you who made the choice of being 'gay',,
now, since you have been quite open and came out with all of it, let me share something myself, you remind me of myself a few years ago, i also had an issue like you did, well not exactly but close enough, I accepted it as it was, and it's not an issue any more.
I didn't suppress or deny it, rather I accepted that indeed I did entertain a thought that was 'gay', and I do understand how some can view it as not so bad, but then that was it, I never disliked women, or felt the need to do something, and you don't either, it is a choice, regardless of how you convince yourself it isn't. in my case it was mostly my surrounding culture, most likely it is the same for you too, otherwise it wouldn't exist. don't buy into the 'it's normal/natural' bull, if all that humans or the rest of the animal kingdom did were natural, then what is the point of calling things natural or not,,

P.S kaafir, pretending not to be biased is mostly known as hypocrisy..
He said he never liked women, he even tried to like them but it didn't work. You were most probably straight with some gay/bi tendencies, 5 or 4 on the Kinsey scale, which is compeltely different than being gay. Having some feelings for the same sex during adolescence is not gay.
Or are you saying you had a prevailing attitude for males and then it changed to females?
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doorster
03-17-2009, 09:23 PM
Originally Posted by alcurad
hmm, if you wish to see that way, then sure, yes that is what I meant.
false/true, good/bad, these dichotomies are not all there is to life, I was saying on a simpler note, that there is NO such thing as gay, bi or straight.
all there 'is', is a human with some carnal desire, going through periods of need/lust, that needs to be satisfied, anything would do the trick at that,'love' is based on physical attraction, besides how do you know women are so bad and it's never going to work no matter what happens? this is a fatalist attitude, not so healthy on the long run.
just as you 'came to be' gay, you can come to be not gay, breaking taboos is somehow exciting, but to claim it would be a false life full of misery with no truth etc etc, this is just talk brother asad1, nothing more.
truth is, you can do whatever you want, and you should at that most of the time, but sure are you it is you who made the choice of being 'gay',,
now, since you have been quite open and came out with all of it, let me share something myself, you remind me of myself a few years ago, i also had an issue like you did, well not exactly but close enough, I accepted it as it was, and it's not an issue any more.
I didn't suppress or deny it, rather I accepted that indeed I did entertain a thought that was 'gay', and I do understand how some can view it as not so bad, but then that was it, I never disliked women, or felt the need to do something, and you don't either, it is a choice, regardless of how you convince yourself it isn't. in my case it was mostly my surrounding culture, most likely it is the same for you too, otherwise it wouldn't exist. don't buy into the 'it's normal/natural' bull, if all that humans or the rest of the animal kingdom did were natural, then what is the point of calling things natural or not,,

P.S kaafir, pretending not to be biased is mostly known as hypocrisy..
melikes it and hopes that no one deletes it and tries to understand it instead
:w:

Originally Posted by asad1
Alcurad you don't seem to understand my problem.

I DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE LIKE THIS!!! Please just try to understand that. This isn't a phase..I know I am Gay..you're just trying to get the positive out of a horrific situation.
so what do you want him to say? do want us to give you a seal of approval?
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:24 PM
yes, it was much more than 'tendencies' at times, but I never reinforced it, rather let it be and it isn't an issue at all now.
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Whatsthepoint
03-17-2009, 09:26 PM
Originally Posted by alcurad
yes, it was much more than 'tendencies', but I never reinforced it, rather let it be and it isn't an issue at all now.
How much more, would you say ou were 50% into males and 50% into females? Mor, less?
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:29 PM
whatsthepoint, it's not something to put numbers to, but it was much more than 50-50 if that is what you meant.
now please stop going into tangents, this is about brother asad1, not me.
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Uthman
03-17-2009, 09:33 PM
:sl:

If you wish to be straight (which it appears that you do), then I advise you to make Du'ah to Allah (SWT).

That's some practical advice for you. It may seem simple, but never underestimate the power of Du'ah. :)

Btw, let us please stop being harsh on the brother. That's probably what he needs least right now.

:w:
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asad1
03-17-2009, 09:33 PM
I'm not saying you have to accept me or anything...that's upto you.

I just thought this was the best place to share my problems as no one else knows about them. But like I said...I'm confused long term..
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Whatsthepoint
03-17-2009, 09:34 PM
Originally Posted by alcurad
whatsthepoint, it's not something to put numbers to, but it was much more than 50-50 if that is what you meant.
now please stop going into tangents, this is about brother asad1, not me.
I'm trying to clear this up because i find it hard to believe a 17-year-old with stronger females for males than females could become straight. If it's true it hints a change of sexual orinetation may be possible eventhough modern psychiatry disagrees.
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:39 PM
I atleast do accept you brother asad1, the point being though, you never had to make a choice in the first place, but now that you want to, my advice is don't suppress yourself, thoughts are just that, and denying them makes them stick to borrow from zazen etc, perhaps if you give it a rest for a while, and over think it you will have a clearer mind.
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GreyKode
03-17-2009, 09:40 PM
asad1, the reason why you visited this forum I think is so that you can gt some advice based on the Islamic faith, otherwise you could have visited all sorts of other counselling websites. So now the muslim brothers have offered you the islamic advice and now its your choice.
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asad1
03-17-2009, 09:42 PM
Yes but it was more to do with the fact that I thought you would understand me better as you have Muslim parents/relatives etc...
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alcurad
03-17-2009, 09:47 PM
true, the reactions of some go beyond the edge when such matters are brought up, so don't be too naive and go around telling everyone, although either of your parents could be quite sympathetic and understanding. but this is your problem, and you have to deal with it regardless of people's reactions for or against it,,
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coddles76
03-17-2009, 11:29 PM
Originally Posted by asad1
I'm 17 and pretty sure I'm gay. I really don't know what to do as I've tried 'turning straight' but it doesn't work for me. No one knows I'm gay and my parents are strict Muslims. I don't want to lead a false life and I get the impression other Muslims don't understand I didn't choose to be like this and I can't change it either.
HIV/AIDS epidemic ravaging Washington DC
Posted Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:22pm AEDT

The US capital is being ravaged by an epidemic of HIV/AIDS, with African-American men and people aged 40 to 49 the hardest hit by the deadly virus, a report says.

At the end of last year, 3 per cent of all Washington residents over the age of 12 had the HIV virus that causes AIDS or the full-blown disease itself, a report by the city's Department of Health said.

"To some, 3 per cent of the city's population living with HIV/AIDS may seem like a small number. In comparison, of all Americans, less than one-half of 1 per cent are living with cancer," the report said.

It also pointed out that both the United Nations' HIV/AIDS agency and the US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have defined an HIV epidemic as "generalised and severe when the overall percentage of disease among residents of a specific geographic area exceeds 1 per cent."

"The overall proportion in the district is three times higher," the report said, warning that the true infection rate in the capital is probably even greater because "between one-third and one-half of residents may be unaware of their infection."

The rate of infection in Washington was higher than the impoverished African nation of Burkina Faso, where around 1.6 per cent of adults between the ages of 15 and 49 are living with HIV/AIDS, and Ukraine in eastern Europe, which has the same infection rate as Burkina Faso, according to UNAIDS.

In Washington, black men and adults aged 40 to 49 were the hardest hit by what the report called "a substantial epidemic," with around 7 per cent of both groups found to be living with HIV, the report said.

White and Hispanic women were the only two groups who were below the UN and CDC-defined epidemic levels, with infection rates of 0.2 per cent and 0.7 per cent, respectively.

Men having sex with men was the leading mode of transmission of HIV/AIDS in Washington, accounting for nearly four in 10 cases, followed by heterosexual contact and injection drug use with 28 per cent and 18 per cent respectively.


Read the part in bold and you will know why this practice has been hated and destroyed by Allah SWT in the past. If you want to lead a clean and healthy life I suggest you get some help and seek Allah SWT assistance of ridding yourself from this mental state. If you strengthen yourself in the Deen of Islam you will understand that this practice is going against the creation of Allah SWT. And Allah SWT Says:

Quran 7:81 "For ye practise your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds."

Quran 27:55 "Would ye really approach men in your lusts rather than women? Nay, ye are a people (grossly) ignorant!"
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Muhammad
03-18-2009, 12:01 AM
:sl:

This thread is for giving help and advice from the Islamic perspective. Therefore, all posts that were not helping with this have been removed. There are plenty of other threads discussing the nature of homosexuality - please use those for such discussions.

For the thread starter, please have a look at some of the links below - some are older discussions similar to this thread, and others are from external sites. I hope they will be helpful Insha'Allaah.

You need to focus on how to overcome gay tendencies and what is the way forward to be the best Muslim you can be. Forsaking your deen and thus eternal success is not an option. This isn't about making such a choice, as was alluded to earlier. Rather, Islam will provide a way out for you and help you overcome your difficulties. I have heard of a number of people in your situation who went on to live perfectly normal lives, even getting married. The links below contain advice on how to achieve this, and there are also Muslim support services on the internet - perhaps someone who knows can mention them Insha'Allaah.

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...omosexual.html

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...sexuality.html
Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl

From IslamToday.com:
Question: I have a big problem. Sometimes I think that I am a gay, but at the same time I have feelings towards women too. I feel miserable. I know Islam is against homosexuality. Am I sinful to have these feeling towards men?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî, former professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh

If a man has homosexual tendencies in his heart, he is not sinful for these. Allah does not call us to account for the feelings in our heart that we cannot always control. However, we are called to account for the deeds that we do.

A man who has homosexual tendencies must avoid acting upon them. He should remain chaste and seek his reward with Allah for his abstinence.

I advise you to do the following:

1. Do not proceed with those feelings. Instead, engage yorself with something else that is productive.

2. Do not look at men with desire.

3. Do not respond to any mental desire to do any action conforming to these feelings, by touching other men, coming closer to them, or the like.

4. Increase your portion of worship, particularly fasting, if you can do so.

May Allah guide you always. (SOURCE)
So this is a test from Allah swt and you must patiently persevere and control any inclinations you may have of this nature and not act upon them. If you persevere, God will bestow upon you an immense reward. Your duty is just to control your desires, God will help you with the rest. You are not responsible for something beyond your control.
How to give up Homosexuality

All About Homosexuality

Gay, Struggling, and in Need of Help

Struggling Against Homosexuality, Finding Islam
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TexasMuslims
03-19-2009, 05:53 AM
you can have gay tendencies, but its still haraam. just like if you had an attraction to animals, or babies; it wouldn't be halal. you can blame it on a gene all you want, it is the way Allah made you. Everyone has wierd tendencies, but some can control it better than others. Wallahu 'Alam
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doorster
03-19-2009, 06:14 AM
you can have gay tendencies, but its still haraam. just like if you had an attraction to animals, or babies; it wouldn't be halal. you can blame it on a gene all you want, (or claim that) it is the way Allah made you. Everyone has weird tendencies, but some can control it better than others. Wallahu 'Alam
^^ hey well done and well said, new Brother!

it is just matter of using common-sense, ain't it? (I was dying to say it but I thought I had over done it with bluntness already)
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Khalil_Allah
03-19-2009, 06:20 AM
man, i feel bad for you brother. YOu come here for advice and everyone is fighting each other and posting shizzz about AIDS and whatnot.

I have always had a feeling that gay people weren't really in a place where they "chose" to be gay, per se. I've known lots of people who live that path, and two were medical doctors and continue to live happy lives together. But they don't have religious doctrine telling them it is haram.

The thing i worry about is, what if we advise this guy to fight it and fight it, and he just marries someone for the sake of marrying and lives a dull unfulfilled life? Like he is always feeling as though he has no real partner in the way that one of us would find in a wife? Then we successfully advise him to live a depressing life, as though his parents had forced him into a marriage with one person when he really loved another. That is what scares me about advising here.

Nevertheless, I would recommend that you fast a lot, keep praying, and try to limit your time with boys to whom you are attracted. It is easy for me to hide from a girl who I think is smokin' hot, because I am trying not to mix anyhow. But for you, you are always around guys and they may change in front of you and stuff. Maybe Allah means for you to develop a sort of modesty that is beyond what any of us know. That you are modest to both women and men equally.

I don't know, but I pray for you man. That Allah will make your situation easier for you and show you clearly what you must do to please Him, InshaAllah.
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doorster
03-19-2009, 06:37 AM
I am confused
I have always had a feeling that gay people weren't really in a place where they "chose" to be gay, per se. I've known lots of people who live that path, and two were medical doctors and continue to live happy lives together. But they don't have religious doctrine telling them it is haram.
I do not understand this part in particular
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Lonely Gal
03-19-2009, 08:55 AM
the bros here askin for help, not to be judged like that.. its help thats required not, your own judgements against him...
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afzalaung
03-19-2009, 05:27 PM
perhaps we can dedicate another topic to 'The Haram/Halaalness of Gay feelings' or dangers of being gay.

we should concentrate on the matter at hand...i.e. a brother came to us to us to provide him with emotional and mental support.

asad>>
no one can (or should) judge you for what goes inside your heart.But rest assured, you shall be part of the global Muslim family.
I understand the feelings come uninvited, and it seems almost impossible to wash them out.

I dont remember the source, but i remember reading somewhere that we should lower our gaze even when with 'beautiful youths/young men'. I guess this comes to show that Islam does address the non-choice nature of gay-tendencies. <correct me if i'm wrong}

Take it as a test from God. A life-long jihad. with a great reward at the end.
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GreyKode
03-19-2009, 05:29 PM
we should lower our gaze even when with 'beautiful youths/young men'
I believe that applies to women.
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Yanal
03-19-2009, 05:34 PM
This may sound rude to ask but forgive me: Do you get a strange feeling when women touch you? And no strange feeling that men touch you?
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asad1
03-19-2009, 06:33 PM
No I don't feel funny when women touch me...sometimes happens with men.

I've been looking at a site called (link to site removed)


It's quite useful..
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GreyKode
03-19-2009, 07:44 PM
BROTHER??? This is how you wanna approach your problem??? by visiting such deceptive websites.
Please try to understand the advice of the rest of the brothers. TRY AND FIGHT IT not the other way round.
How would you like if someone legitimizes consensual sex by twisting interpretations of the Qur'an?
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doorster
03-19-2009, 07:53 PM
^^ some people come to learn/seek advice while some others come to teach and preach by strategy!
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TexasMuslims
03-19-2009, 07:57 PM
Originally Posted by asad1
No I don't feel funny when women touch me...sometimes happens with men.

I've been looking at a site called (Link removed)

It's quite useful..
I think you have an agenda. You don't want to take any advice from the brothers rather, You are here to promote such websites. Wallahu A'alam.
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asad1
03-19-2009, 08:02 PM
Look I don't have an agenda, I just typed gay muslim into google and it's one of the things that came up.

I'm not sure how to approach this at all....you all seem to think this is something I can get over but I highly doubt that will happen.
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Woodrow
03-19-2009, 08:04 PM
Originally Posted by TexasMuslims
I think you have an agenda. You don't want to take any advice from the brothers rather, You are here to promote such websites. Wallahu A'alam.
I will be a bit kinder in my agreement.

First I believe you are correct and I am going to remove the link. But, I doubt if the brother is intentionally trying to spread anything. I see a young man caught in a dilemma and to ease his pains is trying to get some approval for his thoughts.
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Woodrow
03-19-2009, 08:18 PM
Originally Posted by asad1
Look I don't have an agenda, I just typed gay muslim into google and it's one of the things that came up.

I'm not sure how to approach this at all....you all seem to think this is something I can get over but I highly doubt that will happen.
I will take you at your word that you do not have an agenda and I understand you are facing a very difficult time in your life. Seventeen is a time full of problems. Your body is developing physical feelings and your mind is not yet ready to cope with them.

It will be of no use to tell you if you simply ignore these thoughts they will change. You have probably pondered upon this issue for a long time and your hidden fears are now part of your life.

The first step is to seek professional counseling, preferably from an Islamic source. If none are available seek the advice of Imaams, School counselors, Adult males you trust and if possible your mother.

Your life can change and normal growth and thought patterns still have a chance to develop. Do not give up and remeber that virtually all heterosexual males goes through various stages of life when they question their own sexuality.

The first is the pre-puberty years when girls are seen as "the enemy"

Next during the early years of sexual development the body becomes able, but the mind is in the process of forming close male bondings, male clubs, male sports, male companionship etc. During this time if a person does not understand how to form same-sex friendships and bonding, the concept of feeling homosexual is the most probable out come.

Develop male friends, but do not view them as potential sex partners.
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asad1
03-19-2009, 08:32 PM
Thanks, but I know I am. There's no point thinking I'll change over time. I've been saying that to myself for years.

The problem I have is:

Do I make my self independent, make really good friends, live a true life and tell my parents? I'd probably lose them and have relatives hating me too.

OR do I try to ignore this, get on with life and eventually get married to a woman? (even though I'd never like that and wouldn't love her....) but my parents would be happy.
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doorster
03-19-2009, 08:42 PM
2 days ago
I'm 17 and pretty sure I'm gay
2days later
but I know I am. There's no point thinking I'll change over time. I've been saying that to myself for years
geez luise
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asad1
03-19-2009, 08:45 PM
Ok I am...I lied about the pretty sure bit :s
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Al-Zaara
03-19-2009, 08:51 PM
Do I make my self independent, make really good friends, live a true life and tell my parents? I'd probably lose them and have relatives hating me too.
You could, tell your parents, be independent, have great friends and never get married, suffer sexually because of desires but be a very good Muslim and live a as full life as you possibly could.

This depends on how much you really value your religion. That's all really, maybe you'll never stop being gay, but it doesn't stop you from being a good Muslim and not doing the sin of being sexually involved with a male. It'll be much harder of course, 'cause desires are a tough case to handle, but not an impossibility.
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asad1
03-19-2009, 09:09 PM
To put it bluntly...you're really not helping. You can't compare drinking alcohol to being gay....you're not born with tendencies to consume alcohol, you choose to drink it.

I don't understand why Gay Muslims just can't be accepted in today's day and age. The Quran was written a very long time ago...people and society change.

Also, if you can drink alcohol in ill health and if starving people can steal food then surely Gay people can be gay to stop themselves from going mad?
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doorster
03-19-2009, 09:16 PM
Originally Posted by asad1
To put it bluntly...you're really not helping. You can't compare drinking alcohol to being gay....you're not born with tendencies to consume alcohol, you choose to drink it.

I don't understand why Gay Muslims just can't be accepted in today's day and age. The Quran was written a very long time ago...people and society change.

Also, if you can drink alcohol in ill health and if starving people can steal food then surely Gay people can be gay to stop themselves from going mad?
If I were to to post what I was thinking at this moment, I'll be be banned from here for a thousand years

Note this: despite past misunderstandings I have come to believe Alpha dude to be one of a handful of real Muslims on this site. and I liked every word of his advice to you, you either takes or leaves it, but what you cannot do here is preach a customised version of Islam, (well, not while I'm still able to post because I will try to disrupt your efforts)

since you have exposed your true intentions more than once, I cannot see any further need to prolong this discussion to placate you
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GreyKode
03-19-2009, 09:31 PM
I really am holding myself back from responding to your last post asad1 (dooster basically said it), in hope that some of the brothers will come with a wiser advice. But don't start preaching rubbish like that.
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Khalil_Allah
03-20-2009, 12:46 AM
Originally Posted by asad1
To put it bluntly...you're really not helping. You can't compare drinking alcohol to being gay....you're not born with tendencies to consume alcohol, you choose to drink it.

I don't understand why Gay Muslims just can't be accepted in today's day and age. The Quran was written a very long time ago...people and society change.

Also, if you can drink alcohol in ill health and if starving people can steal food then surely Gay people can be gay to stop themselves from going mad?
Man, the Qur'an is designed for everyone and for all times. People and society change, but the Qur'an doesn't need to change. That is where I think you and I differ. Like I feel bad for you, because you are only going to encounter strife when you try to get support from non-gay Muslims.

But you feel like the Qur'an should be interpreted differently and fit to present society. Man, the long and short of it is, the Qur'an is the direct word of Allah. You just don't go against that. Just because Western society goes against the Word doesn't mean we should try to fit the Word to the society. And unfortunately the Word is against "gayness." And that is pretty clear and obvious. That is why I feel bad for you.

But you are going to find no support and outright opposition if you start saying things like "The Quran was written a very long time ago...people and society change." Even from me, and I got negative feedback on one of my posts for showing you sympathy.
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limitless
03-20-2009, 01:24 AM
:sl:

I haven't been following the posts at all. But you said I think i am gay and you requested aid from us on this site. Thus, you should seek that. Others haven't been very supported. I suppose thats how I would have reacted, but given some thought, I'd put in my two cents.

First of all bro, do you have any hatred against women in general? Most of the homosexuality arises because how a boy precieves the opposite gender. There might possibly a psychological issue that you haven't given some thought to it. We all live in a society where homosexuality is somewhat accepted because we shouldn't discriminte.

Moving on, you should increase you're imaam first. Obviously, you're imaam is weak, hence shai'taan is able to hover over your mind like that. Pray every single salat on time and after that read Qur'an only for 20 min. Put your heart into it.

Can you say "yes" to the following questions:

1.) I do pray all five salats on time (or try to) each and every day?

2.) Do I visit masjid for jummah prayer of every week?

3.) Do I listen to khutbahs at jummah prior to the salat?

4.) Do I read Qur'an? Or attempt to at least?

5.) Am I close to Allah swt and Islam?

If you can't even answer yes to all of them, then there is you're problem. Muslim (believer) is never false. He/she should not be homosexual orientated if they are practising Islam properly and doing the best they can in this world.

You should attempt to repair your relationship with Allah swt. Get back on your daily prayers and do extra prayers (nawafils).

Here is a quotation regards to homosexuality:

Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, president of the Fiqh Council ofNorth America, states the following:

Homosexuality is sinful and shameful. In Islamic terminology it is called al-fahsha' or an atrocious and obscene act. Islam teaches that believers should neither do the obscene acts, nor in any way indulge in their propagation. Allah says, [Those who love (to see) obscenity published broadcast among the Believers will have a grievous penalty in this life and in the Hereafter: Allah knows, and you know not.] (Al-Nur 24: 19)

Normally, Muslims find it distasteful to get engaged in making the issue a fine topic of discussion because we know that sometimes evil is spread through discussion. When people hear a wrong and sinful act mentioned repeatedly, they get used to it and then slowly it looses its gravity in their minds and souls.

But nowadays this act has become a phenomenon. There are agencies and lobby groups that are working hard to propagate it and to make it an acceptable and legitimate lifestyle. For this reason it is important that we should speak against it. We should warn our youth and children from this devilish lifestyle. We should make it very clear that it is haram, absolutely forbidden, and that it kindles the wrath and anger of Allah.

The word 'homosexuality' is a neutral word. It does not convey its pejorative and sinful nature. This word is used nowadays as if it were just another type of normal sexual behavior.

In the Islamic literature, however, it is always referred to with its negative connotations. In modern Arabic literature it is called shudhudh which means 'abnormality'.

In our fiqh literature, it is referred to as the 'Behavior of the People of Lut' or `amal qawm Lut.

This immediately reminds a person that this is something bad that makes one subject to the punishment of Allah. No sooner had our minds get used to this idea than we develop a natural abhorrence towards it. Furthermore, when Muslims discuss this or similar haram acts, they often say, "A`adhana Allah min dhalik" or May Allah protect us from this. This is the adab that we should follow when we talk about it. We should call this behavior with its negative title and we should ask Allah's protection from it when we speak about it.

As far your second question about how we should deal with homosexuals, we should consider them people who get themselves engaged in a sinful act. We should deal with them in the same way we deal with any people who are involved in alcoholics, gambling or adultery.

We should have deep repugnance to their acts and we must remind and warn them. Those who insist on this lifestyle, consider it legitimate and feel 'gay pride', we should not associate with them and should not take them as friends. We should certainly avoid those people. If we see a person who has committed this sin and wants to repent then we should help that person as much as we can to get out of this evil. We should not leave him/her to the temptations of the Satan.

Refer: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503543082


Insha'Allah that helps you brother. This is a serious issue and you must resolve it As Soon As Possible. Marriage is not an option. You will ruin the woman's life and shatter her family as well as your own and create more problems rather than resolving. My advise is, fix yourself up. Recite Surah Yaseen in the morning and in the evening. This will inshallah make you realise how wrong you are! I hope you read this thoroughly and understand it!


:w:
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afzalaung
03-20-2009, 05:22 PM
after reading ur recent replies...I'm starting to wonder your real purpose of this topic.
I feel you're here , so someone will tell you 'its ok to be gay'.

while it is OK to have gay-tendencies...it is, in no way OK to give in to those tendencies.
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Woodrow
03-20-2009, 05:41 PM
Point 1 as far as I know only one member here is a psychologist and he would not attempt to even think he can help you in a forum discussion.

Point 2 this thread can only break down into an arguement over the halal/haraam concepts of Homosexuality.

Point 3 if anybody here has something constructive to add I will reopen the thread if you can convince me via PMs

In the meantime:

:threadclo:
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