/* */

PDA

View Full Version : men kissing men



FS123
03-28-2009, 03:38 PM
In the Arab culture men kiss men for greetings, but something doesn't seem right about that. For one, it maybe increasing gay culture. Read this:
"I heard that after 11 September, a Saudi student who was going to be deported on a visa technicality applied for political asylum because he was gay," he added, provoking laughter from the others. "What was he thinking of? We have more freedom here than straight couples. After all, they can't kiss in public like we can, or stroll down the street holding one another's hand."

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo...us-570584.html
Discussion came on Dubai's new public behavior rules which includes banning male/female holding hands and kissing in public places. Somebody commented, Dubai should ban male/male holding hands and kissing publicly. Then one person started defending that this male/male behavior is allowed in Islam.

But to me something doesn't feel right about this, so somebody can give proper Islamic answer? Should be banned or not?

Thanks.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
crayon
03-28-2009, 04:06 PM
Well, kissing on the cheek in arab countries is the norm, for both males and females. Of course, it goes without saying that it's just men kissing men, or women kissing women, unless they're related mahrams, such as a dad, or uncle, etc.
When it gets excessive, there may be something wrong with it, but from my knowledge as long as it's in moderation it's fine, because that is the culture here.

However, I have also heard those arguing otherwise, that it is impermissible, state this hadith:

Imam At-Termithi reported a good hadith that a man said: "O messenger of Allah if one of us meets his brother or friend, should he bend down to him? (as in bow to him) The prophet said, " No." He asked should he hug him and kiss him? The prophet answered, "No." He asked should he take his hand and shake it. The prophet answered, "Yes."
Which gets me thinking though, is this referring only to men? Or is it also speaking to women? Because while men kissing on the cheek is common, they still mainly shake hands. Women however always kiss on the cheek..Hmmm.

I guess I'm going to do some more research on this, I'll post whatever I find inshaAllah.
Reply

Silver
03-28-2009, 04:06 PM
Why should it be banned? It is a custom in my country and it always has been a custom. When we greet eachother we kiss on the cheeks.
Young men don't do that anymore because of the influence of western culture.
But for hundreds of years, this custom hasn't caused any problems and I am not against it.

I can't give you a proper islamic answer. I don't know...
Reply

crayon
03-28-2009, 04:15 PM
What is the ruling on standing up for who comes in, and kissing him?.

It was not the custom of the salaf at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the Rightly-Guided Caliphs to stand up every time they saw him [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), as many people do. Rather Anas ibn Maalik said: “No person was dearer to them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), but when they saw him they did not stand up for him because they knew that he disliked that.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2754; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. But they may have stood up for one who was returning from away, in order to greet him, as it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up for ‘Ikrimah, and he said to the Ansaar when Sa’d ibn Mu’aadh came: “Stand up for your chief.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3043; Muslim, 1768. That was when he [Sa’d] came to pass judgement on Banu Qurayzah, because they said that would accept his verdict.


With regard to standing up for one who has come from a journey and the like, to greet him, that is fine. If it is the custom of the people to honour one who comes by standing up for him, and if that may make him feel insulted if they do not do it, and he does not know the custom that is in accordance with the Sunnah, then it is better to stand up for him, because that will create a good relationship between them and will remove rancour and hatred. But if a person is familiar with the custom of some people that is in accordance with the Sunnah, not doing that will not offend him.

Secondly:

With regard to kissing, there is evidence narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) which indicates that this is allowed in sharee’ah. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: Zayd ibn Haarithah came to Madeenah and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was in my house. He came to him and knocked at the door, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stood up (to open the door) for him wearing nothing but an izaar (waist wrapper) dragging his garment, and by Allaah I never saw him wearing nothing but an izaar before or after that. And he embraced him and kissed him. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: a hasan hadeeth.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali. Al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis said: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He will not be shown mercy who does not show mercy (to others).” Agreed upon.

This hadeeth indicates that kissing is prescribed if it is done out of mercy and compassion. With regard to kissing when meeting someone in a the regular manner, there is evidence that indicates that this is not prescribed, and that it is sufficient to shake hands. It was narrated that Qataadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said to Anas, “Did the companions of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) shake hands?” He said, “Yes.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari.

Al-Tabaraani narrated with a jayyid isnaad from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: When the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) met, they would shake hands, and when they came from a journey they would embrace one another.” This was mentioned by Ibn Muflih in al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah.

And Allaah knows best.
islamqa
It was really long, so I edited out a lot, but here's the general idea.
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Woodrow
03-28-2009, 04:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by FS123
In the Arab culture men kiss men for greetings, but something doesn't seem right about that. For one, it maybe increasing gay culture. Read this:


Discussion came on Dubai's new public behavior rules which includes banning male/female holding hands and kissing in public places. Somebody commented, Dubai should ban male/male holding hands and kissing publicly. Then one person started defending that this male/male behavior is allowed in Islam.

But to me something doesn't feel right about this, so somebody can give proper Islamic answer? Should be banned or not?

Thanks.
I find it to be common among the Arab nations. In fact until homophobia became an issue it was common in most cultures. Do we fear homosexuality so much that we are ready to question our own sexuality and stop a peaceful cultural practice that was not seen as haram for thousands of years? "Do not make haram, that which Allaah(swt) has permitted."

I am not in the practice of going around holding hands with or kissing men, but I hate to see that it has become an issue of homosexuality. Perhaps homophobia is as irrational as Islamaphobia? Why must blind fear cause so many problems.
Reply

Shukri18
03-28-2009, 06:55 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow
I find it to be common among the Arab nations. In fact until homophobia became an issue it was common in most cultures. Do we fear homosexuality so much that we are ready to question our own sexuality and stop a peaceful cultural practice that was not seen as haram for thousands of years? "Do not make haram, that which Allaah(swt) has permitted."

I am not in the practice of going around holding hands with or kissing men, but I hate to see that it has become an issue of homosexuality. Perhaps homophobia is as irrational as Islamaphobia? Why must blind fear cause so many problems.
great input bro:)
Reply

FS123
03-28-2009, 10:23 PM
Same thing can be said about freemixing of males and females but it can cause temptations and fitnah. This might be the reason homosexuality is increasing in Saudia.
Reply

AabiruSabeel
03-29-2009, 04:05 AM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by FS123
Same thing can be said about freemixing of males and females but it can cause temptations and fitnah. This might be the reason homosexuality is increasing in Saudia.
The reason is different :X Hope we understand.

On Topic: I second Uncle Woodrow
Reply

alcurad
03-29-2009, 05:50 AM
homosexuality is increasing because it is allowed to grow, more exposure etc, not because men kissing men, I've lived in Saudi Arabia most of my life, it's not associated with being homosexual at all, I still kiss on the cheek when meeting my friends back there, rather the air next to the cheek, but anyway..

it signifies welcome and friendship and is the polite way to go, I hate to say it but this is a double standard that comes into play much often theses days, calling someone gay is a major insult in some cultures, but then these same people pretends to be tolerant etc.
this would be something like banning 'spastic' or the 'n' word, it reinforces the negative meaning, making it the only one at that, the same goes for banning normal behavior that doesn't agree with some people's sensibilities like we're in some victorian era novel,,
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
03-29-2009, 06:45 AM
:sl:
homosexuality is increasing because it is allowed to grow, more exposure etc, not because men kissing men, I've lived in Saudi Arabia most of my life, it's not associated with being homosexual at all, I still kiss on the cheek when meeting my friends back there, rather the air next to the cheek, but anyway..
if even that...its more like touching cheeks isnt it? and i though arab men usually hug each other, and the women are the ones that do the kissing no?

and @ OP for how many years have the Arabs practiced this? why suddenly the risk of homosexuality increasing? :$


Same thing can be said about freemixing of males and females but it can cause temptations and fitnah. This might be the reason homosexuality is increasing in Saudia.
but all arabs cultures do that, is the homosexuality increasing in other Arab countries :rollseyes
Reply

FS123
03-29-2009, 07:42 AM
It is not just kissing on the cheeks:

It might be increasing in other Arab countries too but western reporters may not report it, because that would refute their reasoning. In Saudia they believe it is caused by highly segregated socioty not this culture. But reading the interviews all of they say it is easier to be homosexuals, so imo this maybe the cause.

I don't know why it is suddenly on the increase, maybe it has been always present in society but reported now.

According to the study done in Riyadh, 46% of the students engage in homosexuilty.
Reply

Silver
03-29-2009, 08:00 AM
I think that this picture was taken in Jerusalem. It is NOT acceptable there for men to kiss on the lips, at least not in public... I know it appears that they are kissing on the lips but this is probably because of the angle of the picture...I am sure these 2 men were kissing on the cheeks.
It's just kissing the air while brushing against the cheek. It does not increase the risk of homosexuality...
This is a custom in arab countries, there is nothing wrong with it.
It never increased the risk of homosexuality before. Why worry about it now?
Reply

Silver
03-29-2009, 08:09 AM
if even that...its more like touching cheeks isnt it? and i though arab men usually hug each other, and the women are the ones that do the kissing no?
Arab men do hug eachother but they also kiss on the cheeks.
Reply

FS123
03-29-2009, 08:22 AM
^^^ that picture was taken in syria
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
03-29-2009, 08:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Lara
I am sure these 2 men were kissing on the cheeks.
even if it was that (+o() there would be a photo of shoes being thrown at them anyway lol...
Reply

Silver
03-29-2009, 08:56 AM
^^^ that picture was taken in syria
Ok.
Reply

Whatsthepoint
03-29-2009, 12:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by alcurad
homosexuality is increasing because it is allowed to grow, more exposure etc, not because men kissing men, I've lived in Saudi Arabia most of my life, it's not associated with being homosexual at all, I still kiss on the cheek when meeting my friends back there, rather the air next to the cheek, but anyway..

it signifies welcome and friendship and is the polite way to go, I hate to say it but this is a double standard that comes into play much often theses days, calling someone gay is a major insult in some cultures, but then these same people pretends to be tolerant etc.
this would be something like banning 'spastic' or the 'n' word, it reinforces the negative meaning, making it the only one at that, the same goes for banning normal behavior that doesn't agree with some people's sensibilities like we're in some victorian era novel,,
People who use gay as an insult are obviosly not tolerant towards them.
Reply

جوري
07-11-2009, 02:41 AM
I don't think homosexuality is increasing at all in any Arabic country or else where.. just new cultural 'norms' have made it less difficult for the deviants to stay in the closet...

if I designed a screening test, that detects colon cancer at an earlier stage does that mean the incidents of colon cancers have increased? No.. it just means that a certain percentage of the population who were blissfully ignorant of their condition until much later are now labeled with the big C.. Now instead of 10,000 cases in 2009 I'll have 100,000 simply because of a diagnostic tool not because incidents have increased.

in this case it is no different.. you have a tool that makes it easier for them to come out so they appear more numerous.. if you always had 10% but only 3% were openly gay, but not 7% of them are openly gay you'd think of all sort of nonsense, of higher prevalence or some genetic disorder or whatever other crap.. it isn't the case at all.. it is a matter of what the society accepts as the 'norm'

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
Reply

Chuck
07-11-2009, 04:18 AM
Translation in the video is correct? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8mk8RZ_xyQ
Reply

جوري
07-11-2009, 04:22 AM
indeed, the translation is correct.. but I'd like to look at the data...
'experimenting in college' doesn't equate to be a homosexual! they are curious like their western counterparts..

:w:
Reply

north_malaysian
07-11-2009, 04:37 AM
In Malaysia, men dont kiss each others' cheeks or holding hands, it's not normal in our culture.

So, when 200,000 Bangladeshi immigrants came to Malaysia and holding each others hands in public areas, the locals were like so offended but they just let these Bangladeshi guys holding hands.. after many years seeing this, Malaysians had come to a conclusion that the Bangladeshis are not gays... it just ok for their culture to hold each others hands while walking in public areas...
Reply

جوري
07-11-2009, 04:42 AM
when I lived in Saudi Arabia, girls from my class harassed this poor iraqi girl whose father dropped her off to school and kissed her on the cheek.. they called her all kinds of names and were banding to go tell the school principal.. who by the way was a wonderful woman and a dear friend to my mom...

but I digress.. I guess what I am trying to say is, what constitutes abuse or sexual encounter in the minds of those people could be, someone's uncle kissing her on the cheeks, or holding her hand to cross the street, and they grow up thinking that is sexual abuse for all I know..

in order for this study to be valid (not that I have seen one, I just went by this woman's stats.) I'd need first a baseline definition of what they consider 'sexual'
I don't think a father embracing his daughter is sexual, and can only tell you that after that day, I told my father never to kiss or hug me again.. he laughed and laughed and in retrospect I think it is kinda hilarious...

:w:
Reply

north_malaysian
07-11-2009, 04:46 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
when I lived in Saudi Arabia, girls from my class harassed this poor iraqi girl whose father dropped her off to school and kissed her on the cheek.. they called her all kinds of names and were banding to go tell the school principal.. who by the way was a wonderful woman and a dear friend to my mom...

but I digress.. I guess what I am trying to say is, what constitutes abuse or sexual encounter in the minds of those people could be, someone's uncle kissing her on the cheeks, or holding her hand to cross the street, and they grow up thinking that is sexual abuse for all I know..

in order for this study to be valid (not that I have seen one, I just went by this woman's stats.) I'd need first a baseline definition of what they consider 'sexual'
I don't think a father embracing his daughter is sexual, and can only tell you that after that day, I told my father never to kiss or hug me again.. he laughed and laughed and in retrospect I think it is kinda hilarious...

:w:
in our culture the fathers only kiss on the forehead...
Reply

ardianto
07-11-2009, 04:48 AM
I think an Arab man doesn't kiss other man cheek, but touching his cheek to another man cheek. That is different than kissing a cheek.
Reply

north_malaysian
07-11-2009, 11:52 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
I think an Arab man doesn't kiss other man cheek, but touching his cheek to another man cheek. That is different than kissing a cheek.
nope... they really kiss... had a first hand experience...
Reply

GreyKode
07-11-2009, 12:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by north_malaysian
nope... they really kiss... had a first hand experience...
Well there's both, but the more civilised people do the touch cheek thing, but seriously brothers, trust me, it absolutely has nothing to do with homosexuality, that's the FARTHEST thing on their minds when doing that.
Reply

north_malaysian
07-11-2009, 12:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by GreyKode
Well there's both, but the more civilised people do the touch cheek thing, but seriously brothers, trust me, it absolutely has nothing to do with homosexuality, that's the FARTHEST thing on their minds when doing that.
it's so weird in my culture.. but we know that the Arabs, Greeks and Italians who are doing this are not homosexuals... so if they kiss our cheeks... we'll smile... politely...:D
Reply

nebula
07-11-2009, 12:28 PM
in pakistan you sometimes see men walking together holding each others pinky fingers... its a sign of friendship... seems so homo to me.
Reply

north_malaysian
07-12-2009, 01:14 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by nebula
in pakistan you sometimes see men walking together holding each others pinky fingers... its a sign of friendship... seems so homo to me.
Pakistanis too? i thought only the Bangladeshis do that...
Reply

- IqRa -
07-13-2009, 03:26 PM
Lol...this is a funny topic... My personal opinion is that kissing each other on the cheek suits girls but not boys. Just my personal opinion.
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 48
    Last Post: 02-24-2010, 12:43 PM
  2. Replies: 34
    Last Post: 05-14-2007, 03:52 PM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-04-2007, 10:03 PM
  4. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-19-2005, 06:57 PM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!