A huge problem..

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:

I have a really big problem..

i want to become a doctor (psychiatrist to be precise) inshAllah, and being a Muslim i want to get married and inshAllah raise a big family.

but is this possible? i will be studying in uni for 5 years and 2 years training and then probably 5-6 years training to become a psychiatrist, do u think it will be possible for me to raise a big family?

or should i just give up that dream and become something that wont take so much time?

i want to get married young, around 22ish so il nearly be finished my degree. im so confused.. sisters and brothers please help :( imsad

:w:

[Sahabiyaat]

Are you a brother or sister, apparently it makes a huge difference.

[The Ruler]

I'm not sure what those years of training entail, so I can't say much... But why not? There are doctors with big family, why not psychiatrists?

[Woodrow]

It need not be a problem. I was married with 3 children during my university years. They were very wonderful years and some of the easiest of my life. Lots of help is available for married student, look into things like fellowships, grants etc.

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[AnonymousPoster]

Im a sister, thats why its more complicated. im sure any man when their wife has a child would want them to stay at home for a good couple of years to look after that child..?

[AnonymousPoster]

I'm not sure what those years of training entail, so I can't say much... But why not? There are doctors with big family, why not psychiatrists?

like i said, i would imagine my husband wanting me to stay at home to look after the child until they start school so that's going to stop me from going to uni?

[The Ruler]

You don't plan to have kids as soon as you get married, do you?

Are the two years of training prior to the 5/6 years of training as a psychiatrist any different? Like, maybe the 5/6 years are less demanding than the initial 2? If so, have the kids after the 2 years of training.

Are there any options of studying part-time?

[crayon]

Try to find a way to combine both your dreams (being a psychiatrist and having a big family) and do them both.. look at all the alternatives, think about the issue from every angle, make a list of every single option available. You're bound to find a solution inshaAllah. Take advice from people, but ultimately, trust your heart. Pray istikhara, make dua.
If you eventually find that it's impossible for these 2 dreams to both work out, be ready to choose only one to pursue. The only thing worse than not fulfilling a dream, is not fulfilling two dreams.

[Whatsthepoint]

Im a sister, thats why its more complicated. im sure any man when their wife has a child would want them to stay at home for a good couple of years to look after that child..?

That epends on your husband and where you live. If his studies are less demanding than yours or he's allready finished his and if it's possible for the father to take maternity leave where you live, having a family at 22ish and being a psychiatrist is completely feasible.
Adn of xourse, your husband must agree to this.

[mathematician]

:sl:

I have a really big problem..

i want to become a doctor (psychiatrist to be precise) inshAllah, and being a Muslim i want to get married and inshAllah raise a big family.

but is this possible? i will be studying in uni for 5 years and 2 years training and then probably 5-6 years training to become a psychiatrist, do u think it will be possible for me to raise a big family?

or should i just give up that dream and become something that wont take so much time?

i want to get married young, around 22ish so il nearly be finished my degree. im so confused.. sisters and brothers please help :( imsad

:w:

Your problem is you are thinking too much ahead of time. :)
Sister, you are ONLY 16 (or 17) so take it easy. Everyone has dreams of being big things before they get to university, but most of us change our minds once we get there. You might think you want to be a psychiatrist but when you come to university you will probably change your mind. Why? Well, because the patients that come to psychiatrists are not always the best people to deal with. They will not listen to you, not take your advice on when to take the medication, etc. So, it can be a stressful job when people come to you for advice, and you give it but they don't follow it, and then later they come to you again for help but they want the help on their terms.

I don't think it's possible to have both a big family and be a psychiatrist if you are a muslim woman. Being a psychiatrist will require you to work many hours a week, which is not a job sutable for those who want to be mothers of 5 cute babies. :)
There are other jobs that you can do as a mother. It will also depend on who you get as a husband. Will you get the lazy muslim father who wants nothing to do with his kids? or will you get one where your mother in law takes care of the kids while you are working 60 hours a week?

Again, the important thing here is to take things one step at a time. At 17 you shouldn't be thinking too much ahead. It will drive you crazy.

Once you get to university you will know your strengths and what you like. It's possible that you will not be good at courses needed for psychiatry. It's possible that you will be good at something that you never thought about.

[Yanal]

How old are you write now? Choose your career since it will be easier to obtain a degree when you are young. My uncle married my aunt when he was 35 and right now he has 4 kids.