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innocent
03-30-2009, 04:36 PM
and clean for the husband and people of the household. I read this somewhere. Can anyone shed any light on this please?
Jazakallah
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mathematician
03-30-2009, 06:03 PM
sister salamu 'alaykum. Marriage is not about who is the slave of the other, but unfortunately that's how culture sometimes teaches people.
The husband and the wife are supposed to be best-friends for each other, be there for each other whenever one needs the other.
A husband is obligated in Islam to spend on his wife and children, and based on that don't you think it would be reasonable that the wife do something in return?
One must not underestimate the amount of love a man can give a woman. I am not saying women are not good lovers, but really when a man gives his love to a woman he does everything he possibly can to make her happy.
So if for that love all she has to to is clean the house then it's worth it!
The only person the wife is responsible to look after is her husband and children. Not the brother or sister or mother in laws!!
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anonymous
03-31-2009, 09:43 AM
Originally Posted by innocent
and clean for the husband and people of the household. I read this somewhere. Can anyone shed any light on this please?
Jazakallah
:sl: It means that its not obligatory for her to cook with her own hands (i.e herself). Can hire someone.. etc.
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elee
03-31-2009, 10:11 AM
I think if I'm married I wouldn't mind to cook or clean instead of woman sometimes, but I'd hate to come home from work, and find house in a mess and nothing to eat.
And to answer question, since having maid isn't illegal, women obviously are not obligated to cook and clean.. but in my opinion, they should at least make that happen somehow:D
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Muhajabah
03-31-2009, 10:22 AM
[QUOTE=elee;1117843] but I'd hate to come home from work, and find house in a mess and nothing to eat./QUOTE]
I hate that too...

Yet it happens almost every day... Unless i clean the evening before.
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anonymous
03-31-2009, 01:49 PM
Originally Posted by mathematician
The only person the wife is responsible to look after is her husband and children. Not the brother or sister or mother in laws!!
True.. but we shouldn't just focus on what is obligatory or not...so that if it is not obligatory, we don't do it. But taking care of the mother in law even though it is not obligatory upon the wife, will bring her great reward and respect from her husband...
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innocent
03-31-2009, 04:17 PM
Originally Posted by mathematician
sister salamu 'alaykum. Marriage is not about who is the slave of the other, but unfortunately that's how culture sometimes teaches people.
The husband and the wife are supposed to be best-friends for each other, be there for each other whenever one needs the other.
A husband is obligated in Islam to spend on his wife and children, and based on that don't you think it would be reasonable that the wife do something in return?
One must not underestimate the amount of love a man can give a woman. I am not saying women are not good lovers, but really when a man gives his love to a woman he does everything he possibly can to make her happy.
So if for that love all she has to to is clean the house then it's worth it!
The only person the wife is responsible to look after is her husband and children. Not the brother or sister or mother in laws!!

In an ideal world yes. But its not always a bed of roses I'm sure you must be aware.
The reason I ask is that some people treat their wives and daughter in laws really bad and they think it is actually their duty to do things when it isnt especially when you are treated bad by your household.
And some women work yet they come home and still have to do their "duty" of cooking and cleaning whereas the man whether hes working or not will not help. Why are women made to feel like it's their duty or its obligatory?
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elee
03-31-2009, 04:57 PM
Originally Posted by innocent
In an ideal world yes. But its not always a bed of roses I'm sure you must be aware.
The reason I ask is that some people treat their wives and daughter in laws really bad and they think it is actually their duty to do things when it isnt especially when you are treated bad by your household.
And some women work yet they come home and still have to do their "duty" of cooking and cleaning whereas the man whether hes working or not will not help. Why are women made to feel like it's their duty or its obligatory?
Most men are such, not only muslims:D And it's not like they are waiting for a woman to clean after them, they wouldn't clean after themselves even if they don't have a woman. I figured out that hard way when i first time lived with roommates:rolleyes: And when i think better, same story is with my father and brother when they are alone at home..
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I just hate trash, and would be ashamed if I get guests suddenly and apartment is in mess.
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QQQ
03-31-2009, 05:46 PM
YES it true .
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Silver
03-31-2009, 05:52 PM
Most men are such, not only muslims And it's not like they are waiting for a woman to clean after them, they wouldn't clean after themselves even if they don't have a woman. I figured out that hard way when i first time lived with roommates And when i think better, same story is with my father and brother when they are alone at home..
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I just hate trash, and would be ashamed if I get guests suddenly and apartment is in mess.
Who said that women like to clean?
Here in the dorms where i live, the kitchens are a mess and most rooms aren't very neat. It's a good thing there are maids who do the cleaning!!

Anw the husband should help his wife with the housework especially if the woman has a job. They are both tired after work...it's not fair for the man to relax while the woman keeps working.
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pvg8260
04-01-2009, 06:51 PM
in they old days or now? in they old days women didn't go to work so they were obligated to do the cleaning , in the Western world women started working in big numbers during the early 1900 and even a bigger number of women started working in WWII. However, in to days society when the man and woman goes to work we use they old saying, if you contribute to the mess, you contribute to cleaning it up.


But we all/men do think women like to clean. :p
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عبد الله
04-01-2009, 07:08 PM
The wife serving her husband

Is it the wife's duty to do all the housework, must the husband help her or not? Or is it possible, that her work is just a favour to the husband and the family and she will be rewarded for it, as if she gave sadaqa?

______________________________

Praise be to Allaah.

The more correct view in this matter is that stated by a number of scholars, such as Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shaybah, Abu Ishaaq al-Jawzjaani and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on them), who said that it is the woman’s duty to serve her husband within the bounds of what is reasonable and as other women who are like her serve husbands who are like him. She also has to take care of the house, doing things like cooking and so on, in accordance with what is customary among people like her and her husband. This differs according to circumstances, time and place, hence Ibn Taymiyah said: “This varies according to circumstances. What the Bedouin wife has to do is not the same as what the urban wife has to do.”

The evidence for this more correct opinion is:

the Hadeeth of al-Bukhaari:

Imaam al-Bukhaari narrated in his Saheeh that Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her), the daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him for a servant. He said, “Shall I not tell you of something that is better for you than that? When you go to sleep, say ‘Subhaan-Allaah (Glory be to Allaah)’ thirty three times, ‘Al-Hamdu Lillaah (praise be to Allaah)’ thirty three times, and ‘Allaahu akbar (Allaah is Most Great)’ thirty four times.” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari bi Sharh al-‘Asqallaani, part 9/506).

Al-Tabari said, in his commentary on this hadeeth: we may understand from this hadeeth that every woman who is able to take care of her house by making bread, grinding flour and so on, should do so. It is not the duty of the husband if it is the custom for women like her to do this themselves.

What we learn from the hadeeth is that when Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) asked her father (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) for a servant, he did not command her husband to find her a servant or hire someone to do these tasks, or to do these tasks himself. If it were ‘Ali’s duty to do these things, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have commanded him to do them.

The hadeeth of Asma’ bint Abi Bakr

Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I got married to al-Zubayr, and he had no wealth on earth and no slaves, nothing except a camel for bringing water and his horse. I used to feed his horse and bring water, and I used to sew patches on the bucket. I made dough but I was not good at baking bread, so my (female) neighbours among the Ansaar used to bake bread for me, and they were sincere women. I used to bring date pits from al-Zubayr’s land that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had given to him, carrying them on my head. This land was two-thirds of a farsakh away. One day I came, carrying the date pits on my head, and I met the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who had a group of the Ansaar with him. He called me and made his camel kneel down, for me to ride behind him, but I felt too shy to go with the men, and I remembered al-Zubayr and his jealousy, for he was the most jealous of people. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) realized that I felt shy, so he moved on. I came to al-Zubayr and told him, ‘I met the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when I was carrying date pits on my head, and he had a group of his companions with him. He made his camel kneel down for me to ride with him, but I remembered your jealousy.’ He said, ‘By Allaah, it bothers me more that you have to carry the date pits than that you should ride with him.’” Asma’ said: “After that, Abu Bakr sent me a servant to take care of the horse, and it was as if I had been liberated from slavery.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 9/319).

In the commentary on the hadeeth of Asma’, it says: from this incident we may understand that it is the woman’s duty to take care of everything that her husband needs her to take care of. This was the opinion of Abu Thawr. Other fuqaha’ suggested that Asma’ did this voluntarily and that she was not obliged to do it.

Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqallaani said: “It seems that this incident – Asma’ carrying the date pitss to help her husband – and other similar incidents were the matter of necessity, namely that her husband al-Zubayr and other Muslim men were preoccupied with jihaad and other things that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had commanded them to do, and they did not have time to take care of domestic matters themselves, and could not afford to hire servants to do that for them, and there was no one else who could do that apart from their womenfolk. So the women used to take care of the home and whoever lived in it, so that the men could devote their time to supporting Islam.”

Then he said (may Allaah have mercy on him): “What is more likely is that the matter had to do with the customs in that land, for customs may vary in this regard.”

It seems that what Ibn Hajar said is close to the view of those who say that the wife has to take care of her husband and the home in accordance with the dictates of local custom.

Ibn al-Qayyim said, concerning the story of Asma’: “When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw Asma’ with the date pits on her head, and her husband al-Zubayr was with her, he did not tell him that she did not have to serve him, or that this was unfair to her. He approved of her serving him and of all the women among the Sahaabah helping their husbands. This is a matter concerning which there is no doubt.”

The hadeeth of Jaabir

The Shaykh of the Muhadditheen, Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “My father died and left seven daughters, or nine daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Did you get married, O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He asked, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young woman so you could play and joke with one another?’ I said, ‘ ‘Abd-Allaah [the father of Jaabir] has died and left behind daughters, and I would not like to bring them someone who is like them, so I got married to a woman who can take care of them.’ He said, ‘May Allaah bless you’ or ‘Fair enough.’” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari bi Sharh al-‘Asqallaani, vol.9/513).

The evidence derived from the hadeeth of Jaabir is that al-Bukhaari introduced this hadeeth under the heading, “Baab ‘awn al-mar’ah zawjahaa fi waladih (Chapter: a woman helping her husband with his children)”.

Imaam Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqallaani said, commenting on this introduction by al-Bukhaari: “It seems that al-Bukhaari derived the idea that a woman should take care of her husband’s children from the fact that the wife of Jaabir took care of his sisters; if she should take care of his sisters then it is even more befitting that she should take of his children.” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari bi Sharh al-‘Asqallaani, vol.9/513).

We can say that the wife should take care of her husband, as this is more befitting than her taking care of his sisters or his daughters from another wife.

We may also understand from this hadeeth that what was customary at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was that women did not only take care of their husbands, they also took care of those who were dependent on their husbands and lived in their houses.

The evidence that this understanding is correct is the fact that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not tell Jaabir off for his reason for marrying a previously-married woman, which was that she could take care of his sisters. This indicates that the custom among the Muslims at that time dictated that the wife should take care of those who were under her husband’s care, which means that the wife should serve her husband in those matters that are dictated by local custom, because the husband’s right to be served by his wife comes before that of his sisters.

‘Urf (custom)

General contracts – including marriage contracts – should be governed by the customs that are known among the people, and the custom is that the wife should serve her husband and also take care of matters in the home. In some societies, the custom is that the wife should take care of more than the regular domestic matters.

Imaam al-Qurtubi said, concerning the matter of the wife serving her husband and taking care of the home: “This has to do with ‘Urf, which is one of the bases of sharee’ah. The women of the Bedouin and the desert-dwellers serve their husbands, even looking for fresh water and taking care of the animals…”

What happens nowadays is that the wife – usually – serves her husband and takes care of different matters within the home. There may be a servant to help her with that if her husband can afford it. If the husband knows that the majority of scholars say that it is not obligatory for the wife to serve her husband and take care of the house, I say that one of the benefits of this may be that he will not go to extremes and demand too much of his wife in this regard, and that he will not give her a hard time if she falls short, because what she is doing is not a duty according to the majority of fuqaha’. However, even it is a duty according to some of them – and this is what we think is more correct – the fact that there is such a difference of opinion means that the husband has to look at what she is doing as something voluntary rather than obligatory, or something in which the scholars differ as to whether it is obligatory, so he should be gentle with her if he sees that she is falling short in this regard, and he should encourage her and help her to do it.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1704/
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Ar-RaYYan
04-03-2009, 02:41 PM
My muslim teacher was telling me that women are not obligatory to cook, clean or even brestfeed their child?
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coddles76
04-03-2009, 02:45 PM
Originally Posted by innocent
and clean for the husband and people of the household. I read this somewhere. Can anyone shed any light on this please?
Jazakallah
Yes this is true but what is also true is that whatever the wife/mother does to serve her family or husband is in turn worshipping Allah SWT and she will be rewarded for her actions. Now If I was a women I'll be doing everything in my power to please Allah SWT and recieve as much rewards as I can.
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