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anonymous
04-02-2009, 02:13 PM
okay so if theres a young man whos very ugly and bad looking but has the charactesistics of a good muslim in him would you a sister consider marrying him if he asked for you from your wali i.e dad/brother?

i want honest replys :cry:
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Mikayeel
04-07-2009, 06:29 PM
BUmp. Sorry for late approval
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S_87
04-07-2009, 06:43 PM
:sl:

if theres no attraction then no.

But remember what may not be attractive to one person, may be beautiful to another. so dont put yourself down because you think youre 'ugly' :)
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Güven
04-07-2009, 06:56 PM
http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...-marrying.html
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Sahabiyaat
04-07-2009, 09:25 PM
people always say attraction is necessary......men (no matter what the heck they look like!), will always want a beautiful wife...So why should women settle for any less?

the question is, If you urself are not good looking, would YOU consider someone of the same description that you have given? not beautiful, but a good muslimah?

But i bet you had a beautiful potential wife in mind? :)
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Cabdullahi
04-07-2009, 09:46 PM
^ not me....does wanting simplicity in terms of looks sound extravagant......simplicity for me is from below average to average wth a smile that makes me feel funny inside


and to the thread starter.........i cant marry an ugly brother....im sorry its just not gonna happen...im a male
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S_87
04-07-2009, 10:05 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
^ not me....does wanting simplicity in terms of looks sound extravagant......simplicity for me is from below average to average wth a smile that makes me feel funny inside
what is simplicity in terms of looks?
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AntiKarateKid
04-07-2009, 10:08 PM
If you feel like their personality outweighs any drawbacks from their looks, then go for it. But beware of being jealous of "good looking" men after that.

But really though, looks will fade. All of us are going to lose them when we grow older so current looks don't matter much in the long term.




Remember though, don't commit if you don't feel right about it. This is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. You may or may not find a good looking believer. If you do, they may or may not find you attractive.
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Woodrow
04-07-2009, 10:10 PM
I will never understand this hang up about physical beauty. In my opinion if a person ever marries based on physical attraction, they deserve all of the hardships and sadness it will bring them.

Physical attraction is what the advertising agencies tell us is attractive. We miss the true beauty of our brothers and sisters if we fall in love with the concept of beauty that Hollywood, Bollywood, Madison Avenue and the cosmetic industry has made us believe is beauty.

Look for genuine beauty and forget about this false facade of physical beauty and only then can any of us find genuine lasting beauty in our choice of a spouse.
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Cabdullahi
04-07-2009, 10:23 PM
Originally Posted by amani
what is simplicity in terms of looks?
oh my days :( did you have to ask that question.......ive been put on the spot...nooooooooo......just messing....even if i tried my best i couldnt explain it to you...so what i say is that being realistic is vital..you have to look in the mirror at yourself and then scout some1 who is about the same level......because of men's mentality you will get certain brothers who dont look the part but say they want a sister that resembles J-LO...its just not gonna happen......man is naturally like that....we cannot point the finger and blame....love blossoms more later on in marriage....when matters arent going so well its the wife's religion that will come to the rescue she can look like a mermaid but if she hasnt got faith then no use...............for a man some aspect of beauty must be present to start the reaction......i chose the smile.....and nearly everyone can smile :)
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pvg8260
04-07-2009, 10:43 PM
I think this explains some of it.

(Quote)

Man, the hunter, has a mental image of the desired ideal woman and he is always using his eyes to search for her, the same way he would hunt a zebra or mastodon (no offense i quote it) the reason behind it is for a healthy offspring.

(Quote)

At least that makes senses to me. Is it allow to view it like that in Islam?
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Suekichi
04-07-2009, 11:35 PM
Why are you looking for a woman? Clearly it is causing you distress nad maybe even some pain...

Look for something else, something deeper, something inside of you. And I promise you will be found in favour of many a women
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
04-08-2009, 01:17 AM
^^Are you Muslim? lol.

I wouldn't give such an advice. Marriage is something we should consider, not reject.
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Intisar
04-08-2009, 01:40 AM
:sl: People are too hung up on looks...

Put your trust in Allaah, perfect your deen inshaAllaah. Don't focus too much on your looks, or looks in general. I won't even lie, people do obsess about their looks and everyone has their own insecurities. The most ''beautiful'' person in the world even has insecurities, the only thing you can ever be sure of is your deen.
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coddles76
04-08-2009, 01:51 AM
The body is a cloak to the everlasting soul so what really matters is the persons commitment to righteousness and his love of the Deen. We live in a life these days which everything revolves around beauty, and if your not pretty then you simple don't fit in. Don't fall to the prey of this mentality and if you gain the love of Allah SWT, this would be the ultimate Goal and trust me everyone else around you will also love you regardless of your looks. I hope this helps
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Suekichi
04-08-2009, 01:03 PM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
^^Are you Muslim? lol.

I wouldn't give such an advice. Marriage is something we should consider, not reject.
I didn't suggest not looking for love, or reject marriage lol. on the contrary.
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crayon
04-08-2009, 01:36 PM
Self esteem is more important than looks. You could be the most gorgeous person in the world, but if your self esteem is low, then that makes you unattractive.
Be content and happy with who you are and what you have, and others will feel it. You must first accept yourself before you can expect others to accept you.

Anyway, in response to your question, it depends. I could not marry someone who repulsed me, sorry to be frank. But someone average looking, but with a great personality and characteristics, is be a million times better than someone who looks great but has the personality or intelligence of a rock.

And of course, everyone has different perceptions of beauty, there's someone out there for everyone.

Here's the question though, would brothers marry a sister that wasn't good looking, if she was a good muslim and had good akhlaq? From my experience, women are wayy more lenient in the looks department than men are.
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