Please some body please help me

[AnonymousPoster]

I have done many bad things in my past which i hate my self for. Than i started practising and i did something bad again while knowing that it was bad but i gave in because i was too weak.

Now i am haunted by it day and night now i feel so shame and so hatret towards myself. I hate my self for it i dont know how to move on from it. i am trying to make my self a better person but that one thing jus kereps brininging me down it messes with my head and it literally torments me. I cant sleep i cant eat i cant rest im always on the edge. I just feel like because this one thing wwhole of my life is gonna be ruined allah gonan punish me for the rest of my life for it. I dont see things ever getting better i cant find any peace in my head. I keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong because of this one thing and all the things that could happen to me. I feel like i done something bad so no matter how much i apologise for it somethign bad is going to happe to me to make me suffer. Im jsut waiting for soemthing bad to happe or something to go wrong i cant jst get on with things. I dont know how to stop worying and just live everyday life. Im literally on the edge and i cant talk to anyone about it.

All i do is sit around and cry and its affecting my whole family because they dotn undestand why i keep crying and why im so depressed they just want to see me get on with things as normal and i know its worying them and im hurting them which i hate myself for. But i just cant help the way i feel i just hate myself so much i just trhink everything and everyone would be better off if i wasnt in this world all im doing is causing people grief i cant make things better for myself or anyone else. Im jsut driving everyone crazy with my misery i just dont know what to do or how to make it better. I feel so helpless i just cant find help anywhere I jsut feel like im all alone and everyone getting on with their life and im just stuck in one position i dont know how to move forward or backward. Im sick and tired of my tears and im sick and tired of my self. I feel so selfish that im making so many people suffer and making my family stress but i dont mean to be unsettle but thats how i just feel im going around and around in cirscle driving my self absolutely crazy. I dont even know who to talk to i cant open up to any one i cant express how i feel but i feel that i need to tell some one i feel like some one needs to know everything about me and everything i have done in order for me to move forward.

I dont know what to do. People who know me abolutely adore me and think so highly of me and i hate that because i know i made so many major mistakes to myself and done so many sins got involved with the oposite gender. I just cant forgiv my self for the person that i am. I just think if only all those people knew everything about me they probably would think of me other wise. I dont think i deserve to get all the support and love that i get from other people.

I feel like i dont deserve nothing worst of all i feel like allah hates me i have done so much injustice to my self and some how knowingly or unkowingly i might have hurt a another. I feel so much hatret towards myself if i could i would kill my self i would beat my self i would punish my self just to be sure allah has forgiven me but i know i cant kill myself i have to live with myself whether i like it or not.

Please some one say something to me how can i move forward knowing that im such a bad person. can sinners deserve to have any sympothy or do their tears matter at all. Havent i just brought what ever i feel towards myself so whats the point of crying now i made the mess so why should i go running to allah now. Dont i just deserve everything bad i get in life because i was never the good person. I jsut lost the will to carry on what purpose do i have in my life who cares about my life and why do i have so much expectations and why do i want this and that when i dont deserve to be given anything in life.

If you sin really bad in your life how can or can yo ever build up confidence and move on with day to day life other than depressing about it. What if that sin was quite bad how can you make it better. Eventhough you pray and beg and cry for forgiveness you just feel you dont deserve to be forgiven or your prayers are not accepted or no body cares for your tears or your pain what if you feel like your worth nothing except the sins that you have done. Whats the point of carrying on living when so much damage has done when you get to a point where you dont know how to or if there is no way of making things better. What would you do than how do one start over in their life when they have lost everything with their own two hands. What if all is written for me is grief. I know people say only good people in life get tested but dont we just create problems for our self and make things worse for our self thats why we go through so much grief in life. so dont in jsut deserve to be unhappy because of the person i am and becasue of the things i have done. why should i be forgiven the damage is done its too late now im justb a waste that doesnt deserve to be a headache on some one elses life.

If we do something wrong but extremely regret it and cry and beg for forgiveness do we still get punished for it all our life.

[aadil77]

Punishment in this life is nothing compared to the punishment in the hereafter. So take it as a mercy from Allah that you are being punished in this life as this will act as expiation of your sins.

So remain patient, keep asking for forgiveness and never give up hope no matter how badly you cocked up. Because if you give up hope in Allah, then Allah will give up hope in you, so avoid thinking about how bad you are and move forward. Take this as a test as well and if you keep to it, InshAllah you'll come out of it a better person.

[alcurad]

if god forgives you, you can't forgive yourself?

[The Ruler]

If we do something wrong but extremely regret it and cry and beg for forgiveness do we still get punished for it all our life.

I think what you're trying to say is, "do we still get punished in the hereafter"?.

Whether Allah has forgiven you or not, is not something we can say... But like brother aadil pointed out, surely it is better to be punished in this world than in the next?

Allah is never unjust. He is Most Merciful and most Kind. And, I believe, He will forgive a servant when they see their wrong ways and feel remorse for it. As long as your taubah is sincere, I think it's fine.

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[Snowflake]

assalamu alaykum

aww subhanAllah.. so must repenting and asking Allah for His forgiveness can't go to waste inshaAllah. Allah loves those who repent and seek forgiveness from Him. You must believe in that with total conviction because Allah says in the Qur'an:

"Do not despair of God's mercy; He will forgive you of all your sins".Qur'an (39:53).

In another verse, Allah says:

"And He wishes to forgive you" Qur'an (4:146).

http://www.islamawareness.net/Repent...epentance.html

Also in Hadith Qudsi...

Hadith Qudsi 15:
On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Allah the Almighty said:
I am as My servant thinks I am (1). I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

(1) Another possible rendering of the Arabic is: "I am as My servant expects Me to be". The meaning is that forgiveness and acceptance of repentance by the Almighty is subject to His servant truly believing that He is forgiving and merciful. However, not to accompany such belief with right action would be to mock the Almighty.

It was related by al-Buhkari (also by Muslim, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn-Majah).

Hadith Qudsi 34:
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say: Allah the Almighty said:
O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.

It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound.

Alhumdulillah, we can just how Merciful and Forgiving Allah subhana wa ta ala is, so you should never despair of His mercy as that is also a sin. Accept that man is weak and no one is sin free. Continue seeking Allah's forgiveness and repenting as long as your heart feels burdened. But please dont torturing yourself with the belief that Allah won't ever forgive you. His Word is true and He keeps His promises are true <3 .

[ahmed_indian]

if u are regreting and crying, its a sign that Allah still loves u (insha'allah).

there r many who commit sins and Allah make it pleasing in their eyes and they dont repent.

according to one hadith, when a believer commit sins, it seems to him as if he is sitting under a mountain and it will fall on him.

so i will advice u that keep repenting and regreting but dont fall into despair (its not for beleivers).

come more closer to Allah thru nafil salaah, fast, charity, dawah, good to family, etc.

one scholar told that a person can enter jannah by commiting sins. the reason is that s/he will repent greatly and will come more closer to Allah. his/her taqwa is increase.

mayb Allah wished that u commit this sin so that any sign of proud or arrogance in ur heart (due to doing dood deeds) will wipe off.

and Allah knows best.